Hi all. This is my first post to the forum, but I expect to be adding lots of reports now that I live in an area with lots of women.
The following are two field reports of my recent outings.
..............
FR: Two Girls, a Random Dude, and Me
It's late in the night at a bar, almost closing time, and I'm making small talk with groups of people. I meet this one guy (Olof) who's my age and seems to be interested in my goals for the night. I spot two college-age girls at the bar, Jen (7) and Tara (7).
Me: "Hey, what kinda drinks are THOSE?" (pointing at two pink cocktails)
Jen: "Oh, these are the [whatever]."
Me: "I usually don't get girly drinks, but those look good."
Jen: "Here, try it." (smiling at me)
The drink has a straw. This is a mistake that I won't make again, but if the drink has a straw, then damn it, DRINK THROUGH THE STRAW. I don't know why I don't, maybe as a courtesy, but it looks awkward.
Me: "Thanks! That's really good. Let me get one too." (motioning to the bartender)
Me: "Where are you girls from?"
I find out that they are visiting for the weekend, and tonight is the last night. Both girls seem interested in talking with me.
Then Olof shows up. No problem. I keep talking to Jen, who is closer to me, while he talks to her friend. He gets a drink, we all chat some more, and then it's closing time.
At this point, I have neither broken the touch barrier nor made any compliments, except for her leather jacket.
I suggest we go to a diner, since that's all that's open. The girls gladly agree to come with us.
I'm walking with Jen, my arm around her, but I find nothing to talk about. So I talk about the neighborhood. Meanwhile, I feel the pressure as Olof and Tara are laughing and holding hands. Clearly, I'm not keeping up.
We get to the diner, and Olof holds me up as the girls enter. We talk outside the diner.
Olof: "You took us to a diner?? Have you never done this before?"
Olof thought I was a suave player based on how I acted back at the bar. (No Olof, not yet. I just appear that way.)
We get back inside with the plan to either take the girls back to his place or mine.
Jen sits opposite Tara so that we can each sit next to our girl. As Jen is looking at the menu, I turn to her and screw everything up.
Me: "Do you really want to eat? Or do you want some Grey Goose?"
Jen: "No, no Grey Goose. I think I'm going to call a cab." (looks at Tara who's still holding hands with Olof)
Jen wants to leave, while Olof and Tara want the night to keep going. Jen is the more dominant of the two girls, so they end up leaving me and Olof there.
Olof: "What the fuck did you tell her?"
I don't know whether it was the awkward guy conversation outside the diner or the words I used that ended it. Maybe Olof was right about going to a diner.
..............
FR+: The Girl with the Blue Eyes
I'm at the bar table talking to two girls. Another group of girls walks up and one of them, Liz (8), gets in between me and my new acquaintances. I stare at her contemptuously until her friends notice.
Me: "Here, why don't we switch positions. I saved that spot for you."
Liz: "Oh sorry. Thanks."
I go on to talk with the previous two girls, only to have one of them tell me "You really got to run. Get away. I'm going to murder you. Really. I'm going to fucking murder you." I've had girls turn me away in many, many ways, but this is some Joker-level crazy shit. I take her advice.
I stand in the middle of the floor eyeing my next target. There's Liz, who I now realize is gorgeous, with her two friends. I don't hesitate.
Me: "Hey. You wanted to tell me something at the bar."
Liz: "Oh yea."
Me: (interrupting her) "You have such gorgeous eyes. Wow, they are so blue."
This worked amazingly well. I didn't want her to have trouble coming up with something witty to say. Her friends were impressed by my approach.
I introduce myself immediately to her only. I don't even get the names of her two friends, but I do include them in the conversation since they are watching how I talk to Liz.
Liz is fresh out of college and visiting for the weekend. Her shirt is very revealing of her cleavage, and she looks like she wants attention.
They want to know where they can go dance. I suggest some places. We finish our beers, but then they decide to stay at this bar.
Her friends walk to the other room, and Liz motions for me to sit by her. She's touching my leg and arm.
We go grab another beer and then go grind on the dance floor.
When we come back, she's uninterested.
Liz: "I'm going to go mingle." (as she points back to the dance floor)
Me: "Mingle?"
Liz: "Yea. You know. Go meet some new people."
I'm disappointed and angry at myself. I realize what Chase keeps saying all the time about the expiration of attraction. It's game over. I look her in the eyes like a procrastinator at a missed deadline and then do what I've never done in such an expired situation: I lean in to kiss her. I'm still training myself to act this confidently when sober. To my surprise, she goes for it. And she likes it.
We make out, grope, dance like animals on the dance floor. But it never closes. She keeps turning her head back to me while dancing, as if waiting for me to whisper something in her ear. I only use these opportunities to kiss her neck.
Twenty minutes later, it's all over.
She's now touching other guys and talking to everyone (but not nearly as intimately as she was with me). As I stand back now watching her talk to some new guys, she glances over one more time conveying the message of: "You had your chance. What are you looking at now?"
I keep thinking about what I should have said to take her home, and when I should have said it. I am 99% sure that she was down to come with me, so maybe the logistics don't matter. I'll work on asking girls home faster.
~ Slark
The following are two field reports of my recent outings.
..............
FR: Two Girls, a Random Dude, and Me
It's late in the night at a bar, almost closing time, and I'm making small talk with groups of people. I meet this one guy (Olof) who's my age and seems to be interested in my goals for the night. I spot two college-age girls at the bar, Jen (7) and Tara (7).
Me: "Hey, what kinda drinks are THOSE?" (pointing at two pink cocktails)
Jen: "Oh, these are the [whatever]."
Me: "I usually don't get girly drinks, but those look good."
Jen: "Here, try it." (smiling at me)
The drink has a straw. This is a mistake that I won't make again, but if the drink has a straw, then damn it, DRINK THROUGH THE STRAW. I don't know why I don't, maybe as a courtesy, but it looks awkward.
Me: "Thanks! That's really good. Let me get one too." (motioning to the bartender)
Me: "Where are you girls from?"
I find out that they are visiting for the weekend, and tonight is the last night. Both girls seem interested in talking with me.
Then Olof shows up. No problem. I keep talking to Jen, who is closer to me, while he talks to her friend. He gets a drink, we all chat some more, and then it's closing time.
At this point, I have neither broken the touch barrier nor made any compliments, except for her leather jacket.
I suggest we go to a diner, since that's all that's open. The girls gladly agree to come with us.
I'm walking with Jen, my arm around her, but I find nothing to talk about. So I talk about the neighborhood. Meanwhile, I feel the pressure as Olof and Tara are laughing and holding hands. Clearly, I'm not keeping up.
We get to the diner, and Olof holds me up as the girls enter. We talk outside the diner.
Olof: "You took us to a diner?? Have you never done this before?"
Olof thought I was a suave player based on how I acted back at the bar. (No Olof, not yet. I just appear that way.)
We get back inside with the plan to either take the girls back to his place or mine.
Jen sits opposite Tara so that we can each sit next to our girl. As Jen is looking at the menu, I turn to her and screw everything up.
Me: "Do you really want to eat? Or do you want some Grey Goose?"
Jen: "No, no Grey Goose. I think I'm going to call a cab." (looks at Tara who's still holding hands with Olof)
Jen wants to leave, while Olof and Tara want the night to keep going. Jen is the more dominant of the two girls, so they end up leaving me and Olof there.
Olof: "What the fuck did you tell her?"
I don't know whether it was the awkward guy conversation outside the diner or the words I used that ended it. Maybe Olof was right about going to a diner.
..............
FR+: The Girl with the Blue Eyes
I'm at the bar table talking to two girls. Another group of girls walks up and one of them, Liz (8), gets in between me and my new acquaintances. I stare at her contemptuously until her friends notice.
Me: "Here, why don't we switch positions. I saved that spot for you."
Liz: "Oh sorry. Thanks."
I go on to talk with the previous two girls, only to have one of them tell me "You really got to run. Get away. I'm going to murder you. Really. I'm going to fucking murder you." I've had girls turn me away in many, many ways, but this is some Joker-level crazy shit. I take her advice.
I stand in the middle of the floor eyeing my next target. There's Liz, who I now realize is gorgeous, with her two friends. I don't hesitate.
Me: "Hey. You wanted to tell me something at the bar."
Liz: "Oh yea."
Me: (interrupting her) "You have such gorgeous eyes. Wow, they are so blue."
This worked amazingly well. I didn't want her to have trouble coming up with something witty to say. Her friends were impressed by my approach.
I introduce myself immediately to her only. I don't even get the names of her two friends, but I do include them in the conversation since they are watching how I talk to Liz.
Liz is fresh out of college and visiting for the weekend. Her shirt is very revealing of her cleavage, and she looks like she wants attention.
They want to know where they can go dance. I suggest some places. We finish our beers, but then they decide to stay at this bar.
Her friends walk to the other room, and Liz motions for me to sit by her. She's touching my leg and arm.
We go grab another beer and then go grind on the dance floor.
When we come back, she's uninterested.
Liz: "I'm going to go mingle." (as she points back to the dance floor)
Me: "Mingle?"
Liz: "Yea. You know. Go meet some new people."
I'm disappointed and angry at myself. I realize what Chase keeps saying all the time about the expiration of attraction. It's game over. I look her in the eyes like a procrastinator at a missed deadline and then do what I've never done in such an expired situation: I lean in to kiss her. I'm still training myself to act this confidently when sober. To my surprise, she goes for it. And she likes it.
We make out, grope, dance like animals on the dance floor. But it never closes. She keeps turning her head back to me while dancing, as if waiting for me to whisper something in her ear. I only use these opportunities to kiss her neck.
Twenty minutes later, it's all over.
She's now touching other guys and talking to everyone (but not nearly as intimately as she was with me). As I stand back now watching her talk to some new guys, she glances over one more time conveying the message of: "You had your chance. What are you looking at now?"
I keep thinking about what I should have said to take her home, and when I should have said it. I am 99% sure that she was down to come with me, so maybe the logistics don't matter. I'll work on asking girls home faster.
~ Slark
Keep at it; a lot of the guys who are great with girls learned what to do by learning what not to do.
