- Joined
- Jan 7, 2015
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- 786
It's been a while since I wrote one of these. I made a rule to myself years ago that I would write in my journal when I meet someone in a social circle or through someone I know from a circle. And girls I meet completely cold I will write about in the FR section. So yeah, imagine my surprise when this night where I had no expectations whatsoever actually turned out the way it did.
Background
I am out with friends. I am wearing a simple outfit: denim jacket, dark green shirt, black pants and brown sneakers and some of my favorite jewelry. We go to some fun activity, and some suggests we go to the city and hit a bar or night club. We do and stay at the same place for some hours. Get beers and dance. Some of them leave after two hours, and the rest stays. We are four at this moment (three guys and one girl). All this night, I meet a handful of girls I know from different places, even see someone I met last time one of my relatives visited me. That was like five or six months ago. That gets my momentum going.
I'm starting not to feel the music any longer and it shows when we are dancing. I suggest we hit another venue, and they come along. We go into a small night club with a bar area when you get inside, and further down is just a dancefloor. We find a stand up table close to the bar and start dancing there since the dancefloor is too crowded. There is a group of people on the next two tables, most of them dressed up in silly costumes. I first approach a girl looking like she is from the same country as myself (I'm Middle Eastern) but she is from another country there. A bit chubby for my taste but we dance and have a great energy nonetheless. Random guys come dance with my group, and one even leave his bottle of vodka to us before he goes outside. Cool, now my friends are occupied with the bottle.
Meeting the girl
Across our table, I see this tall brunette girl (taller than me, at least some inches) dressed in a cowgirl costume being followed by a very drunk or maybe stoned guy dressed in another outfit. I assume they are from the same group. In the next 15 minutes, she is walking to the dancefloor and back with the dude who is in a completely different world. At one point I feel some urge to tell her I love how well done her outfit is. She is on the other side of the table, and I motion with my hand for her to come closer and give her the compliment. She thanks me, and I continue my dancing. At some point she interacts with my single friend when the very drunk dude is gone, and I can hear he is telling her about my job. Turns out she is actually a student in that line of work, and similarity is reached.
Escalating
She is very close to my ear when she talks to me now and has her arm around my shoulder first and my back later. I reciprocate the touch. The overall vibe is fun the way I read into it. We tease each other in a good way, but I honestly don't remember the details. She wants to work in the particular field of work that my female friend is actually working in, and I make her talk to my female friend as well. The tables of her group are empty now, meaning that there is lot of space for us to dance right there and we do so when she is done talking to my friend.
She is not a good follower and I think I'm getting a challenge ahead of me. I get us closer to the bar right next to a pillar. And now I have this tall girl grinding her long legs on mine, kissing my neck and biting my chin with a hand on my face. At one point even getting down low and up again.
You know that feeling where you can barely control yourself because the girl is so fucking sexy and gives off the impression that she is desiring you right now? That is me at this very moment.
When she gets back up, I get eye contact with her and put my hand in her face as well. I don't kiss her yet.
I will admit that I was thinking about the good old "if you kiss her in the club, you just validated her and likelihood of pulling her back home will go back to zero." But at this point I don't really care what happens and I follow my gut instinct.
I kiss her neck as well and keep my face close to hers for some time. Then I kiss her lower lip and bite it for seconds before letting it go. She wants more and kisses me back. She is a great kisser and knows how to use her lips. They don't look huge but it feels like they are. As all this is happening, I'm feeling her body up and down. No hidden fat that I can feel - she's in decent shape. I wish I had touched her tits and ass as well but I decide it is too soon. She invites me to the dancefloor, and yeah, I go along because I want to. My friends see us go there and tell me they are leaving. Nothing of importance happens on the dancefloor besides more kissing and grinding. And one time I get close to her face as if I will kiss her, but pull back... her eyes are closed when I do this, and when she realizes I haven't kissed her yet, she pulls me in to get that kiss. Then I just kiss her quickly and pull back again. And she pulls me in for more. Make them want more...
I tell her let's go outside to catch some air, and she agrees. I take her hand and lead her.
Escalation part 2 - outside
We sit on a table. One of the first things she says is that I will have to work hard to get somewhere with her. Oh okay... my answer?
Her demeanor changes. She knows she can't play hard to get. Some parts of the conversation I do remember:
As soon as we recover ourselves from the misunderstanding, she throws an escalation window
On our way to the wardrobe where I left my coat, walking hand in hand.
All the above from "escalation part 2" subtitle maybe took 10 minutes in total.
We get to the other club, and things here are pretty much as I wrote in this post. She has to wait outside even when she has been into the club earlier that night but I have a ticket for the wardrobe and she doesn't, and bouncer won't let her in even when I talk about her safety lol. I tell her to wait her, that I will get my coat in few minutes despite the line to the wardrobe, and she accepts. I had to stand in line for 5 minutes but now she's nowhere to be found. I chuckle to myself and I am about to burst out a laugh at how surreal this is. But I'm in a good mood, and it's a fun story. I should have expected this to happen though.
Thoughts
In terms of what happened:
I feel like I applied some good stuff all around. I complimented her (but then left her too soon and left things too much to chance?), act upon her AND my own interest, and it feels like I can sense what stage of the sedcution we have reached.
What could I improve:
Opening: As I said above, maybe I should have stayed in a little bit longer after the compliment, introduce myself, ask her how her night is going, THEN leave her.
Escalation:
I still doubt if I should have kissed her or not. It seemed natural at that time, but idk, maybe it could have increased the sexual tension more if we didn't kiss?
I have been thinking about whether I should get her to open up about her sexual fantasies, to really get her in the mood. Or maybe dive more into her statement about having sex with others vs alone. I have a feeling I would have done this if she didn't say she was tired right after.
Ending: I have already shared some ideas to what I could have done differently in the other post. So I'm going to leave those there.
Other thoughts
I think my mindset of seeing what happens and having fun, really made the difference tonight. Opening her seemed so easy, and I didn't even have to assume her attraction since it was so easy to feel it.
I also thought about why I approached her and the Middle Eastern girl. And the answer is clear as day: both were peacocking in some way. The cowgirl because well, she was dressed in a costume. But the Middle Eastern was because she was just having fun, and it is rare to see girls from that heritage being out and having fun. Usually they wear too much makeup and seem stuck up from what I have seen - even if they are not. The other times I have been to the city recently I barely noticed the girls dressing in trendy clothes (the kind of girls you see on instagram) or the girls dressed averagely. But girls that stand out in a positive way - well, they catch my attention. I think I should keep this in mind next time I go out.
And who cares if they are taller than you
Background
I am out with friends. I am wearing a simple outfit: denim jacket, dark green shirt, black pants and brown sneakers and some of my favorite jewelry. We go to some fun activity, and some suggests we go to the city and hit a bar or night club. We do and stay at the same place for some hours. Get beers and dance. Some of them leave after two hours, and the rest stays. We are four at this moment (three guys and one girl). All this night, I meet a handful of girls I know from different places, even see someone I met last time one of my relatives visited me. That was like five or six months ago. That gets my momentum going.
I'm starting not to feel the music any longer and it shows when we are dancing. I suggest we hit another venue, and they come along. We go into a small night club with a bar area when you get inside, and further down is just a dancefloor. We find a stand up table close to the bar and start dancing there since the dancefloor is too crowded. There is a group of people on the next two tables, most of them dressed up in silly costumes. I first approach a girl looking like she is from the same country as myself (I'm Middle Eastern) but she is from another country there. A bit chubby for my taste but we dance and have a great energy nonetheless. Random guys come dance with my group, and one even leave his bottle of vodka to us before he goes outside. Cool, now my friends are occupied with the bottle.
Meeting the girl
Across our table, I see this tall brunette girl (taller than me, at least some inches) dressed in a cowgirl costume being followed by a very drunk or maybe stoned guy dressed in another outfit. I assume they are from the same group. In the next 15 minutes, she is walking to the dancefloor and back with the dude who is in a completely different world. At one point I feel some urge to tell her I love how well done her outfit is. She is on the other side of the table, and I motion with my hand for her to come closer and give her the compliment. She thanks me, and I continue my dancing. At some point she interacts with my single friend when the very drunk dude is gone, and I can hear he is telling her about my job. Turns out she is actually a student in that line of work, and similarity is reached.
Escalating
She is very close to my ear when she talks to me now and has her arm around my shoulder first and my back later. I reciprocate the touch. The overall vibe is fun the way I read into it. We tease each other in a good way, but I honestly don't remember the details. She wants to work in the particular field of work that my female friend is actually working in, and I make her talk to my female friend as well. The tables of her group are empty now, meaning that there is lot of space for us to dance right there and we do so when she is done talking to my friend.
She is not a good follower and I think I'm getting a challenge ahead of me. I get us closer to the bar right next to a pillar. And now I have this tall girl grinding her long legs on mine, kissing my neck and biting my chin with a hand on my face. At one point even getting down low and up again.
You know that feeling where you can barely control yourself because the girl is so fucking sexy and gives off the impression that she is desiring you right now? That is me at this very moment.
When she gets back up, I get eye contact with her and put my hand in her face as well. I don't kiss her yet.
I will admit that I was thinking about the good old "if you kiss her in the club, you just validated her and likelihood of pulling her back home will go back to zero." But at this point I don't really care what happens and I follow my gut instinct.
I kiss her neck as well and keep my face close to hers for some time. Then I kiss her lower lip and bite it for seconds before letting it go. She wants more and kisses me back. She is a great kisser and knows how to use her lips. They don't look huge but it feels like they are. As all this is happening, I'm feeling her body up and down. No hidden fat that I can feel - she's in decent shape. I wish I had touched her tits and ass as well but I decide it is too soon. She invites me to the dancefloor, and yeah, I go along because I want to. My friends see us go there and tell me they are leaving. Nothing of importance happens on the dancefloor besides more kissing and grinding. And one time I get close to her face as if I will kiss her, but pull back... her eyes are closed when I do this, and when she realizes I haven't kissed her yet, she pulls me in to get that kiss. Then I just kiss her quickly and pull back again. And she pulls me in for more. Make them want more...
I tell her let's go outside to catch some air, and she agrees. I take her hand and lead her.
Escalation part 2 - outside
We sit on a table. One of the first things she says is that I will have to work hard to get somewhere with her. Oh okay... my answer?
You know... things like that... they go both ways... you think you're the only one who must be impressed?
Her demeanor changes. She knows she can't play hard to get. Some parts of the conversation I do remember:
- I ask her how her night is going without me here. 8 out of 10. What has made it good - all the fun with her friends. I don't ask about how it looks like with me there. But perhaps enforce a frame of looking for exciting times next time.
- She tells me how guys in this city are awful and have zero game (not her words, but it's my interpretation). I tell her "yeah, I have heard stories..." , trying to imply preselection.
- I tell her I have been told by girls before her that I'm a guy with little security to my name and that I don't promise people anything. It turns out somewhat like this:
- At one point she pauses and tells me "I have so many questions for you..." I just sit there, giving her a sexy look with the corner of my eyes and smirking. I take her hand in mine. She's having a hard time maintaining eye contact. I tell her she seems nervous. No no, she assures. She "accuses" me of being too simple-minded. "I know... and you like it. Sometimes simple is the best". She loves I'm a being challenge.
- I feel like she's on the fence about me, and to qualify her I ask her what she does to have fun. Something interesting happens here that I didn't realize until she brought it to my attention
As soon as we recover ourselves from the misunderstanding, she throws an escalation window
Her: You know what? I'm getting tired
Me: Me too. We should do something else
Her: Like what?
Me: take a walk
Her: I know what is going to happen if we take a walk in this weather
Me: I live 10 minutes away
Her: I thought you weren't hunting
Me: I'm not
Her: *feigning shock this is happening* I am definitely tempted...
Me: let's go
On our way to the wardrobe where I left my coat, walking hand in hand.
Her: I know I am going to sound like a cocktease saying this... but I'm on my period right now. It's going to be messy
Me: *smiling and looking her in the eyes because I have heard this excuse before* I. Don't. Care
Her: *why the fuck does he keep persisting, I can't believe this is happening* look
Me: *love you too* look and a wink
All the above from "escalation part 2" subtitle maybe took 10 minutes in total.
We get to the other club, and things here are pretty much as I wrote in this post. She has to wait outside even when she has been into the club earlier that night but I have a ticket for the wardrobe and she doesn't, and bouncer won't let her in even when I talk about her safety lol. I tell her to wait her, that I will get my coat in few minutes despite the line to the wardrobe, and she accepts. I had to stand in line for 5 minutes but now she's nowhere to be found. I chuckle to myself and I am about to burst out a laugh at how surreal this is. But I'm in a good mood, and it's a fun story. I should have expected this to happen though.
Thoughts
In terms of what happened:
I feel like I applied some good stuff all around. I complimented her (but then left her too soon and left things too much to chance?), act upon her AND my own interest, and it feels like I can sense what stage of the sedcution we have reached.
What could I improve:
Opening: As I said above, maybe I should have stayed in a little bit longer after the compliment, introduce myself, ask her how her night is going, THEN leave her.
Escalation:
I still doubt if I should have kissed her or not. It seemed natural at that time, but idk, maybe it could have increased the sexual tension more if we didn't kiss?
I have been thinking about whether I should get her to open up about her sexual fantasies, to really get her in the mood. Or maybe dive more into her statement about having sex with others vs alone. I have a feeling I would have done this if she didn't say she was tired right after.
Ending: I have already shared some ideas to what I could have done differently in the other post. So I'm going to leave those there.
Other thoughts
I think my mindset of seeing what happens and having fun, really made the difference tonight. Opening her seemed so easy, and I didn't even have to assume her attraction since it was so easy to feel it.
I also thought about why I approached her and the Middle Eastern girl. And the answer is clear as day: both were peacocking in some way. The cowgirl because well, she was dressed in a costume. But the Middle Eastern was because she was just having fun, and it is rare to see girls from that heritage being out and having fun. Usually they wear too much makeup and seem stuck up from what I have seen - even if they are not. The other times I have been to the city recently I barely noticed the girls dressing in trendy clothes (the kind of girls you see on instagram) or the girls dressed averagely. But girls that stand out in a positive way - well, they catch my attention. I think I should keep this in mind next time I go out.
And who cares if they are taller than you
