Critique of PUA by a former PUA

[Bboy100]

This is a long but very interesting article...what do you guys think?: http://postmasculine.com/pickup-artist

 

[Smith]

I had a feeling it was written by Mark Manson lol and it was. I like what he said about the validation trap. I haven't thought about it that way before. The last few months, I have stopped reading any FR/LR (except a few good ones I could actually learn from) and it has actually improved my "game" because I no longer compare my level of success to other guys and thereby avoid the validation trap. I also started doing things my own way instead of blindly following what other's did.

Personally, I get more satisfaction from getting intimate with girls I have great chemistry with than ones that I can't connect intellectually. It did take a few girls for me to realize this, and your standards and boundaries rise as a consequence. Screening and qualifying becomes a natural thing I do so I don't waste time on girls who aren't compatible. However, I don't know where I would be without getting into pick up first, but yes there is more to life than getting lots of sex. It is nice to go out and socialize without getting hung up on what you can get out of it. Anyway, this was a nice read. Thanks for sharing this!

 

[Ree]

Hey bboy...
Whats up?....
I think this guy is against hedonists and mechanics...but is rooting for romantics..
Plus i think by default most people are hostile towards puaz..and he is bowing to social preesure to sell his stuff
"hey,buy my stuff,im not like these heartless puaz"
....all the things smith says r true..but i think its inevitable..as u pua more,u polarise more,u become less of a robot,u get more standards...If u were in it for validation..u get that validation and u go on with ur life.i dont think their is any other way


Unrelated question..do u have any younger brother/s

 

[trashKENNUT]

Bboy100,

I want to know what

1)What is he doing now?
2)What his age is?
3)Does he have a girlfriend?
4)How is his living conditions?
5)The people around him?
6)His version of success?
7)His version of failures?

He is right that it is a validation thing but everyone never tell you the whole story. I can give you an example. Abraham Hicks or Esther Hicks is a self help guru. Did i get results from her? Yes. Did i get results almost every single time? No. This is where i do not listen to her anymore because i basically leave the thought process of hers. Our beliefs and maybe goals did not connect and her knowledge was inconsistent. Just as this 'former PUA' said about leaving, which basically means TO BE INDEPENDENT IN ONE's THINKING.

Everyone has to hate their former self. Everyone has to bite the hands that feed them. Why? Because they need to go out and find themselves. I do realize however that you need to make peace with your past self or you be a bigger hypocrite. I see this with many people.

Facts. Bitches. Facts. I'm just messing around in this sentence.

Zac

 

[Thedoctor]

Bboy,

This is what happens when you approach pickup with the wrong mindset. It's what prompted me to write this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/do-yo ... or-seducer

And this is what separates Girls Chase from the other PUA sites out there. A lot of PUA's have the "us vs. them" mentality. They regard women as the enemy or beneath them, and they also feel superior to other males that are still "plugged into the matrix" or whatever other analogy they use today. (In fact, I doubt a lot of other sites would even have posted an article like that).

If that's the way you want to go about it, all the power to you. But, I do think that over time, it is coming from the wrong mindset, and will leave you with the same problems the author of the article wrote about.

The choice is up to you. You take the info you learn here and decide which way you want to apply it.
-John

 

[Bboy100]

it has actually improved my "game" because I no longer compare my level of success to other guys and thereby avoid the validation trap.

Yeah, same here. I started out wanting to hook up with a few girls just to prove to myself and everyone else that I'm capable of getting laid. But now that I've done it a few times, I've come to realize just how superficial it is. I still have a few "validation seeking" type sticking points which I need to figure out though (ex. I feel like I've never been with a "10/10" girl in terms of appearance, and for some reason, on an emotional level, I believe that experience is somehow wildly different from having sex with any other girl...so I still feel a little bit needy towards very physically attractive girls). But other than that, at this point, I'm starting to also develop a zero-tolerance policy for girls who I don't think I can connect with on a level beyond just getting my dick wet. It's just not worth it. The downside is that I've also been less motivated to pursue women in general haha. I think cutting back on masturbation might solve this problem for me though. That's what I'm gonna try to do next.

Plus i think by default most people are hostile towards puaz..and he is bowing to social preesure to sell his stuff
"hey,buy my stuff,im not like these heartless puaz"

Obviously, this is always a possiblity. But the article does make sense to me. Plus, if you read his blog or any of his writing, you'll find that he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who does that.

f u were in it for validation..u get that validation and u go on with ur life.i dont think their is any other way

There absolutely is another way to deal with emotional issues. And a far more effective and efficient way at that. As he mentions in the article, its about figuring out your insecurities and childhood traumas and dealing with them directly. This often involves getting therapy or some sort of counseling. If you've read Tucker Max, you'll find that he's a perfect example of this. He goes out and has sex with 100+ women, gets famous, rich etc. and STILL, he feels unsatisfied with his life. It took him 4 years of psychotherapy to get through his issues. And as it turns out, his issue was exactly what Manson was talking about- an inability to feel human connection due to shit that happened to him throughout his childhood.

A good analogy is thus:

Let's say you get fired from your job, so you go out drinking. You might temporarily feel better but in the morning, you'll still have no job. Yeah you could drink some more, but that won't really solve the problem. The only viable long-term solution is to actually do something about your joblessness. Chasing sex with women for validation is similar to drinking when you lost your job.

Unrelated question..do u have any younger brother/s

Nope. Just an older sister.

I want to know what

1)What is he doing now?
2)What his age is?
3)Does he have a girlfriend?
4)How is his living conditions?
5)The people around him?
6)His version of success?
7)His version of failures?

I don't know his life story, so I don't know the answers to all these questions. But here's the best i can do:
1. A writer/business owner. Maybe he's doing something else too. Idk
2. Based on the article, he picked up "the game" in 2006 when he was 21. So I'm guessing he's now 31?
3. No idea.
4. No idea. Probably pretty good though. Cause he's pretty successful.
5. Don't know. But probably similar to him in many ways (we all tend to attract like-minded people into our lives)
6. He specifically states that his version of success with women is to put yourself around the kind of women necessary to bring value/increase the amount of satisfaction and happiness you get from your life. ...Don't quote me on that, but it's something along those lines.
7. Not sure

This is what happens when you approach pickup with the wrong mindset. It's what prompted me to write this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/do-yo ... or-seducer

Yeah, I actually read that article a while back. It resonated with my beliefs quite well, and I think it was something GC needed. Thanks for writing it.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Bboy100,

2. Based on the article, he picked up "the game" in 2006 when he was 21. So I'm guessing he's now 31?

Ar okay. I see him being more laid back and reflective. I realize as we all get older, we need to mix with young people/current events or we become unrelatable.

I mention this to Drck awhile ago on my post. highly important.

Zac

 

[Franco]

All,

Being a fan of Blackdragon's content these days as well, he has a pretty good article that also delves into the "types" of guys that seduction attracts. You may be one or the other -- personally, I'm more of a "Pleasure of Sex" type of guy, but I have elements of the "Thrill of the Hunt" guy in me as well.

• Thrill of the Hunt Men vs. Please of Sex Men - Blackdragon

- Franco

 

[Drck]

I really like the PS vs TH guy, that's really a good point.

Learning PUA and Seduction is exciting, it is a totally new world. I would have to be a hypocrite if I said that seduction is useless, I guess I'm sort of guilty of pointing on others what I was doing myself for long time...

After couple of years though, the seduction business just seems little bit different. It sorts of "sunk" into your brain, it becomes part of your life... Whereas your mind was consumed with seduction 90% of the time at first, after a couple of years you perhaps spend just 20%, if not less... It may actually even become sort of a paradox, from certain perspective you may turn against what you have liked a lot, just weird, but I think I understand where the author is coming from...

I guess there is lots of fake-iness in seduction, there is just something missing... For example, you can pretend that you have a busy life to appear more attractive and desirable... You text that girl 3 days later just to make it appear that you are not needy and that you have a busy life - yet in reality, you should really have busy life, you should really be busy for the next 2-3 days, and that's the key...

The key is "not to appear like a successful guy" but "be successful guy" where Success is not only financial or materialistic...

The same with confidence and other things, because it should not be about tricking the other person into attraction - it is about creating qualities in your life that are attractive, thus become attractive in natural way, without trying, without creating artificial sexiness....

You just can't pretend that you are somebody if you are not, and you shouldn't... Rather you should work on creating your life to be that somebody... The thing is, once you do that you won't really have much time on seduction... You won't have time to approach 100 girls every weekend because you are simply working hard on building your life, if that makes any sense...

So in my humble opinion, seduction is good because there is lots of valuable information and quality behaviors to learn, but it should be the little desert that comes after the whole meal - not the meal itself...

See, the hunter (above link that Franco posted) should be the hunter, the conquerer in life... Yet he should also be the "please of sex" man, a guy who is totally comfortable with his own sexuality as far as females are concerned...

 

[Big Daddy]

What an interesting piece. It really gave me deep insights about the matter. I wish I read it earlier!

It really resonated well with me as I think I posses some TH-in-the-making traits.