Cut Your Ties or Have Buddies Everywhere?

[Smurf]

Hey guys,

I've been wondering if I should just keep in touch with everyone I meet, or polarize my interactions, so that I gain more reference points but burn more bridges.

Both seem like good options - polarizing will let me progress a little faster - but at the same time I see girls who I met long ago who I burned a bridge with, and now they have value that I could use.

Should I keep in touch with the people I meet, and if so, how do I do that well so that they remember me still when I see them later in life?

Jake.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Jake,

Back in my purely natural days, I made it a habit to just talk to everyone. I'd read it in some "tips for college" book and since I was just starting my "I'm going to become an extrovert" journey, I integrated into my routine.

It's one of the greatest tools to my success. I've developed deep personal friendships with janitors, lunch-ladies, professors, and many other people who are on the outskirts of most social circles and some you'd never genuinely know unless YOU took the extra step to get to meet them. But because I did that, I can speak to a random bunch of cool dudes sitting in some random Romanian bar and become known to them as "The Legend" within a few minutes (cold approaching seemed like a mythical act of god to them; imagine their surprise when I smashed some girl I met while out with them just an hour after meeting her - this girl was freaky deaky). And guess what this skill of developing quick and strong relationships with people? Yep. Bitches. It's truly invaluable.

So until you are able to walk around your town, city, and even anywhere in the world and say, "you know what, I could make anyone here my best friend," then you need to connect with anyone and everyone you know, even if that just means remembering their name next time you see them.

Once you accomplish that, then you can burn the bridges and find refuge on your own island of excellence. I'm not saying tell these people to kill themselves, but just go ghost - cut out anyone who doesn't give you insane value (e.g., a good business connection, a deep friendship, good conversation, or even just the pleasure to be around them). This is the greatest environment for leading an extraordinary life.

So, the answer your question:

If you're beginner/intermediate, have buddies everywhere.

If you're advanced or above, cut ties.

What's funny is that even though you ghost, when you're advanced, people still always feel amazing about having met you and will occasionally sustain the friendship themselves It's quite a beautiful demonstration of the fundamental laws of social value exchange.

- Anatty

 

[trilegius]

Hey Anatman,you have been to Romania? Where exactly?I'm asking you because I'm from Romania so I'm curious.

 

[mb1]

Hey I'd say just stick to whatever your goal is (or purposes in life are), and build allies along the way (rather than useless friends) who are party to the same goals or have complementing ones, etc. This way, it's all about exchanging value. Cutting ties completely would mean not posting on this board, but it's still a social interaction where we're exchanging beneficial information for a purpose. I don't hang out with drinking buddies, but do burn a j with guys sometimes when we're done accomplishing something together. I'd recommend not having friends you ONLY burn a j with though. There's got to be a mutually beneficial value transaction, at least personally, or it's a value drain and wasted time, really. Maybe one guy's a great philosopher, but it would be rare to find conversation that good that it's worth sinking a ton of time into that friendship. You can stay "friendly", but it's all about opportunity cost of where you place your time. If you're a rapper for example, it would be better to hang with filmmakers, other artists, etc. instead of rap fans. You don't have to use them for their services, but it's more about fraternity than friendship.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Highly recommend Anatman's advice.

I am the same. Those friends who are decent will be nice to you. Those who are not friends will be nice to you but you notice they were not friends at all.

Zac