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Cute Kenyan mom says she likes dick & doesn't mind sharing; Short date--what now?

ThePhoenix

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
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I'm happy to report that ultimately my very first approach mission since recently picking back up with game has gotten me two dates. In past this would've easily taken a dozen day-long missions, but I recently discovered how to rewire my brain to not chicken out, and this has made it possible to approach in volume instead of a frustrating dribble.

The first was a hijab-wearing Muslim girl, smart and interesting to talk to, but I had a lot of trouble sexualizing. I have a report on that I haven't posted yet. The next one went a lot better.

I would almost say it went quite well, except that it technically was a failure per the Sexy Son Hypothesis, because dick didn't go in pussy. But that basically wasn't an option from the outset, owing to the girl's logistics for the day.

I'm thinking I could potentially still get her, but that I've absolutely got to seal the deal the next time we meet, or I'll be stuck in friend or boyfriend zone (haha, no, I'll just approach more chicks). So, I'm trying to figure out how I should set up another meet to guarantee the needed time alone. Let me know what you think!


Tangling Trip (Approach & Pre-Date)

I was in a big-box discount store in my favorite approach mission megamall. As I entered one aisle in womens' shoes, a cute African chick was entering the adjacent aisle, and our eyes met through the shelves. Love their beautiful jet-black eyes.

The approach itself was routine and basic. Not heavily sexualized, but the girl, call her Claire, was friendly and compliant.

I won't belabor the pre-date stuff, but I did go into more detail about logistic complications here.

In short, tried to set up a date only to find she was willing but immediately heading to Kenya for vacation for a month. On her return she was positive about setting up a meet, but blindsided me with her having brought back from Kenya an 8 year old son. No other family here. This left me befuddled over pull-conducive logistics and a little worried over provider framing, to the point I lost motivation and concentrated on other girls and even had a date with the Muslim girl in the meantime.

I wrote her after a 9-day silence and then got an unsettling response to what I thought was more-or-less a simple ping. I managed to defuse that and then left things a bit longer, namely to a point I projected might be a better time on her cycle.

Pinged her at that point and she was positive. Tried to set up a date for the next day, but due to her limited availability in the week we ended up deferring to possibly the weekend.

However, when I later tried to make this concrete, I got the classic:

I will let you know

@Seppuku has made clear what this actually means and how to deal with it:

If you're not sure that works, no worries, let's do it another time

Without fail, come the originally proposed day:

Hey phoen, i will be free this afternoon let me know if u r!

Had a feeling that would happen, so I was already mostly prepared for the date. I set a late afternoon time for coffee in the food court of the mall where I had approached her, and she agreed.

The girl wrote me 10 mins or so before the agreed time saying she overslept and could we push it 15 to 30 min? I said ok, I had things to look at at the mall. (Any of y'all ever had a date be on time? :LOL:) Somewhere between those two times I told the girl how to find me in the food court. She didn't ultimately show for almost an hour more. I don't give dates shit for being so late, but almost wonder if I should! (They always apologize, though.)

The girl was dressed in black, short skirt and a top that had netting over her upper bosom. Weave, unfortunately.

My arriving way early plus some aggressive maneuvering got me a semi-circle couch despite a busy food court in which most of the seating was just hard chairs. That and a well-positioned obstacle made it easier to direct the girl to sit beside me, which she did, albeit a small purse between.

Intentionally, I already had my iced tea. Claire neither asked nor even hinted for me to get her anything, and also didn't get anything herself. It's certainly not the first time I've let a girl sit there the whole time with no drink—indeed, I did the same on my first lay, so I know it can work—but I kinda wish the girl would buy herself something. I almost wonder if I should share my drink with her: more intimate, and I still didn't buy her anything.

Claire if I recall gave me a compliment on what I was wearing. I didn't return the favor, mainly because I'm actually largely indifferent towards womens' fashion in general. I'll sometimes compliment it on initial approaches for lack of anything better to open with, but on a date I never bother.


What follows is largely not in chronological order.


Butter Thighs

I didn't touch the girl as much as I think I could have, but I did some. At points I stroked her upper arm, but her top covered much of her arm. Her being in a short skirt, I gravitated more toward her bare thigh, which I stroked, albeit only briefly, at various points. I didn't venture to the inside of her thighs partly because she was under a hard time constraint so getting her downright horny could've backfired.

I loved feeling her butter-smooth legs. Been a few years since having my hands on a woman like that, as I only recently discovered how to fully conquer the approach inhibition that had been badly holding me back.

She didn't resist my touch at all. In fact, I figure had I gotten her somewhere private for long enough, we would have fucked.

Initially I had let her stay with a foot between us, but I got in closer when she was showing me things on her phone. Also, I noticed that at some point during the date she had turned herself so as to point her legs, initially forward, to be a bit towards me. Consequently our knees were lightly touching.

At one point I took one of her hands briefly in order to look at nails she had. I'm not generally into fake things, but noticed some little golden pieces on them. They were not extremely long or over the top. But I only kept her hand a few seconds before I let go. Probably should've held that longer, I know.

I also touched her opposite wrist, again only briefly, noticing a tat. It was her son's name.

She asked me if I had any tattoos, and when I said no, she asked me why not, as though I were strange! I don't really know the answer to this, it's like me asking her, "why haven't you ever played in a mas band?" I just tossed out an awkward excuse about not wanting to commit to something I couldn't go back on, before moving to another topic.

I didn't do the arm-around-her thing.


Boring Part (Chit-Chat)

For brevity I won't cover general conversation exhaustively.

Claire is nice and not too hard to talk to.

The girl did turn out to be fairly well-to-do. She had a business in Kenya that was successful for several years until a downturn in the country's economy, which she blamed on the new government. She's also traveled parts of Europe, several other African countries, and had business dealings in China.

She was in my country as a business student. She's done but plans to stay here for some time, as she can't afford repeated moves. (Hope I'm gone way sooner!) She complained of it being not easy to find work, which she (ironically) blames on all the immigrants.

Several lines of inquiry ran accidentally into mentions of her ex boyfriend, with whom she seems to have significant history. She did not, however, mention him outside of places plainly material to something under discussion. I tended to shift the topic a bit when this happened, as I figured he's not a useful subject. She didn't mention any other romantic interests specifically.

As I had earlier expressed interest on text, she mentioned her recent trip to Kenya, which she described as a paradise. She showed some pics, my having asked her before she left to take some. Among other things, she showed a helicopter ride she went on. She noted having a lot more pics than what she showed.

At some point Claire remarked that she had said a lot about herself while not hearing much about me. I generally try to keep things in the 70%/30% range in favour of the girl sharing more, and I'd say I probably stuck to that. I did share some, at her prompting here, but didn't have to do tons as we got sidetracked anyway.

She mentioned walks as exercise, which she used to do up until she brought her son. I asked her the distance she does. She had a tracking app :LOL: and read off her record from there.

I recounted a recent walk which I don't know the distance of off-hand but would have been way way longer. She was impressed while also thinking me crazy for walking on the highways. I had to note these were mainly country roads, not busy freeways. She said of my propensity for super-long walks, "that's why you're thin." :LOL:

One thing that in the moment I felt needed work was this involuntary smile I found myself making a lot as Claire spoke. Well, it was only my second date in quite a long time, so probably I just have to do a few more to cut that out, I hope.


Peoples & Pronouns

When I was born, I think the large majority of people here were white. Today in this city, as a white person I'm almost a novelty—at least to the girls I gravitate toward. Claire is my second date in a row, both African, to ask me explicitly whether I am an immigrant. Because basically everyone they know is. I tell her, no, but my great-grandmother was. :LOL: Got us talking about history a little.

Once in a while I can guess an African chick's tribe based on facial features. In Claire's case I had only a weak inclination, but what the Hell.

"Are you Luo?"

At first she doesn't understand the question and has me repeat.

"No, I'm not Luo. How do you know Luo?"

Ok, as a backup, I'll go with the most populous one.

"You Kikuyu?"

No, actually she turns out to be from one of the much less populous tribes, but now she's very surprised and curious, because I've just named two of her country's tribes off the top of my head.

I get this with African chicks a lot, they tend to be quite surprised by how much I know about Africans. In this particular case it worked in my favor, because she has repeatedly made suggestions that I must've had an African girlfriend. I know better than to contradict her. :LOL:

Claire started to ask me something like whether I've had an African... "wait, I should't be assuming, you could be gay, what are your pronouns?"

Are you fucking serious!?!

Pronouns?
This girl has been here less than two years and we have her already asking for pronouns? Jeesh.

Honestly, I'm kind of confused. Would a pronoun he/she be putting this sort of attention into a girl, stroking her thighs? I'm just lost. Did I fail here? Was I supposed to have my tongue halfways down her throat already?

On her continued confusion I assured her I'm straight.

I also asked her if she was sure that bringing a little boy here was a good idea. "This place will turn him into a little girl!"

She smiled a bit with a look as if to say she knew what I was talking about.

She may have made some contrast with Africa. I mentioned having a gay friend who despises Africa, given recent legislation in Uganda, etcetera. My non-verbals probably conveyed a degree of indifference; I can understand both sides and I just stay out of it. Claire expressed not really caring what others choose to do amongst themselves, and with that, we moved on.

While discussing languages, I asked Claire to say something in her tribe's language. She said one word. My plot would've liked a few more, but I went with it anyway.

"I know you just said something dirty!" I remarked teasingly.

She smiled and said, "No, I just said 'hello.'"

I was supposed to jokingly give a disbelieving, "yeah, yeah," and then move on, but unfortunately in the moment I just accepted her answer. This did, however, at least go better than it did with the Muslim girl—that was an adventure! :LOL:

As would be typical, Claire knows her own tribe's language, and Swahili (East African lingua franca), and English. Claire said without prompting that she'd teach me.


Bogus Beauty

At some point Claire's mention of some girlie maintenance she seems to have some propensity for, I just had to let on to a certain level of disdain towards artificiality. It was a bit of a tightrope between my being genuine in my opinion and not being too critical.

I said something about Ugandans (neighbours) being less into artificial stuff than Kenyans. She acknowledged this to be more-or-less true, though since she's Kenyan she's looking at it with more of an artificial aesthetic—i.e., why not enjoy the finer things in life? I thought better of pushing my opposing viewpoint too much, but there's one place where I had to at least mention it.

I brought up one thing in particular not to help the seduction—I guess it could even harm it—but because I absolutely had to get it off my chest. I had been planning to bring this up early, but really didn't feel comfortable in the moment doing so until we got along well enough I figured I could get away with it.

The girl was wearing weave—an Indian girl's long, straight hair (not natural for a black girl) sewn onto her head. As she was the day I approached her. I had no choice:

"I just have to say, it breaks my heart to see a beautiful African girl wear straight hair."

She looked a little bewildered or perhaps slightly dismayed.

For background, African chicks typically have "Type 4C" hair, which means tightly curled, woolly, bunching into a ball. I think it's beautiful! I love every little thing about African women, including their natural hair. But, depending on where you are, usually you see this hair more on men and children; black women themselves often don't like the natural texture of their hair and go to great lengths to straighten or otherwise hide it. I will see a cute Afro puff on a young teenager and think to myself, by the time she's 19, she's probably going to be in straight hair. It just breaks my heart! It's hard emotionally to express my sexuality to a woman in weave without making sure she knows the straight hair had no part in attracting me.

I mentioned that I much prefer Afro puffs.

She explained that maintaining Afro hair is expensive. She noted her 4C hair will shrink, she can't comb it, and it has to be treated, and went on to relate what these treatments cost.

At this point I'm suspicious that she's referring to relaxing—chemical straightening of Afro hair. She had mentioned that she has worn her hair out at points, so I ask her to show me pics.

She digs through her phone and shows me a video where she's in tights dancing, quite sexy, really nice ass. Thankfully, her hair was not relaxed straight, it was basically in an Afro, though possibly loosened a bit. I said, see, that was nice! Though the words didn't come to mind in the moment, I would honestly say she almost looked like a different person. Honestly, weave cheapens African women.

But still in that video she had her hair texturized, and complained about the cost. She also showed me a bunch of pics were she had her hair in fancy braids, also expensive. I said, yeah, I know a girl who does those.

But I don't think she fully got what I meant by "Afro puff". The cost is negligible, definitely less than weave. It's just the fully natural texture, pulled and tied back and let out at the top. I used my hands to gesture on her head before realizing she wouldn't see, so I repeated on my own head.

She said if you just leave the natural texture people are going to think you're crazy or don't take care of yourself.

I just gave her a look like as if to say, "I dunno about that."

I didn't bother to argue, but I do see chicks with natural Afro hair out sometimes. Unfortunately not all that often, but I make a beeline to those chicks and tell them I love their hair, it's so much nicer than all the weave garbage. Some of the beautiful South Sudanese models like Nyakim Gatwech and Adut Akech often wear out 4C hair totally natural. Would've shown her pics but I didn't have them in my phone.

I also thought better than to push my luck—I'd basically said what I needed to say and plus got to see pics of her not in weave. So I just dropped it and moved on.

The next time I see a chick in an Afro puff I'm gonna ask her how expensive it is to keep her hair like that, because a chick wearing weave told me it's expensive to wear natural. :LOL:


White Men Can't Be Aged

I don't ever ask age (directly), because I'd really rather a girl doesn't reciprocate that question.

However, this one asked on her own.

"Guess."

She looks slightly thrown off and tells me that she can't, she has trouble guessing white peoples' ages. (Huh? :LOL:)

Since she wouldn't guess I was quite happy to just switch the subject immediately, and she followed for a time.

But then she came back to it and said I never answered.

She still wouldn't guess, and I guess I probably should've refused, since she wouldn't hold up her end.

I did tell her. But I rounded down quite a bit.

Even after my doing so, she was quite surprised I'm that old! :LOL: She went on emphatically about how good I must take care of myself.

I deeply regret the decades I spent having no fucking clue what to do with women, but at least in the meantime I didn't smoke or drink or sit on my ass all day eating and drinking garbage, and that's turning out to be quite the saving grace.

Since I had finally given in to her query, I asked her the same.

"I'm a woman, I don't tell my age."

I got mildly shocked and told her, while smiling, that I shouldn't have told her my age, I wouldn't have told her had I known she wouldn't tell me hers.

She laughed and was like, "A-haha! I got you!"

I looked at her with this look like she was being a silly brat, and stroked her thigh up and down.

She did at this point tell me that I'm 10 years older than her (so, a fair bit more).

That makes her older than I would've guessed based just on her looks, though the kid and life details would've suggested closer to what she said. Black chicks often turn out older than I would've guessed; age is nice to them.


Sluts & Dicks

On the date with the Muslim girl, because she wouldn't sit beside me, I was left with only being able to sexualize verbally—something I'm not adept at as compared with physical touch—and wound up not doing at all.

So it's a bit ironic that with Claire sitting beside me I actually did manage to do a little verbal sexualizing. This may have in part been an inter-date correction, but may have also been due to the "spiral" effect: once things start badly, they keep getting worse, while if they start well, they keep getting better.

I somehow brought up a sexual double-standard: if a guy has a good time with multiple women, people don't think much of it. But if a girl does the same thing...

"They'd call me a slut," she finishes.

I expressed the opinion that this isn't fair—intending to set a subtext that I'm not going to judge the girl for being sexual. She agreed at the unfairness, but seemed to be somewhat resigned in an "it is what it is" sense.

She added, "I don't really care as long as he's good to me".

Oh, wow. In the moment I misunderstood her words due to an early, incomplete parsing of the first few words, jumping to the less optimistic conclusion that she was going to say she doesn't mind not being able to be a slut. My brain must've been near-stopped in the moment, because it's only later that night, hours after the date, that I realized she had basically told me she'll accept a man being promiscuous.

Damn, this went unexpectedly well!

I asked her if it was similar in Kenya. She looked down at her short skirt and said, "If I were wearing this in Kenya, people would talk."

Also, at some point, per a recent idea from @D. Gately I asked her what she likes about men.

She said something a little coyly, and between this and the accent I misheard it as "lips," but when I repeated that, she repeated her rather more interesting answer:

"The dick."

:LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

I love her honesty!

I was so taken off guard by that, I just chuckled, smiled, and said, "Ya, of course!"

I wonder if I could've taken more profit from that hand!

She added, their smell, like if they smell nice, and how they're dressed.

She went on to complain that my question wasn't specific enough. I didn't respond explicitly but may have conveyed non-verbally her interpretation having been satisfactory. She didn't press the matter and we moved on.


Not So Golden?

One of the few things I didn't much like about the date was that Claire seemed a bit interested to know my line of work, education towards it, whether I was doing it presently, and how it was going.

In the moment, this set off some alarm bells, this being a single mother and a Kenyan, at that. 254 chicks in particular have something of a reputation for being materialistic and gold-digging.

With that said, it's later occurred to me her questions could have been merely trying to get me to talk about myself more and not being creative enough to ask less routine things. She does seem inclined to try to make her own money.

I have both technical expertise that can be marketed on its own and creative projects which span several artistic and technical disciplines. Being that the creative projects are more a long-term aspiration but the technical expertise has more immediate potential, I very stupidly mentioned both, out of thoughtless pride. Had I any sense in my head, I'd have only mentioned the creative stuff, not something that could potentially be making a lot of money. My God, Phoenix, do you remember nothing of how their minds work?!?

In hindsight I'd have much preferred just doing "work here and there to support those projects."

At least to my credit I did toss in a degree of ambiguity. I said that I tend to favour the longer term over making immediate money. And, when she asked how the technical career was going, I noted it was "alright" and went on to qualify that with my presently sticking only to on-line stuff because I don't like the way things are going in my country and want to keep my options open to move.

Phew, at least I had some sense! :LOL:


Babysitting Blues (Pull Attempt & Recovery)

Shortly after Claire had initially sat down, I presumed in a friendly tone that she'd gotten a babysitter. She kind of acknowledged, but it turned out to be more informal. Per a suggestion from @D. Gately, I asked, in a friendly/helpful way, "Is there a time we have to get you home by?"

She indicated she'd have to go in the range of an hour or so, and related that her son was with her friends, who were helping him with fashion. She had arranged to meet them in the mall later. At a couple points she interrupted our interaction briefly to speak with them on the phone, and clearly this was a genuine constraint.

That meant the outlook for a pull that evening was not good, but at once I was well aware just how much the likelihood of seduction tanks after the first meeting, so I took a pot shot anyway.

My place was obviously a bad idea since she'd have the kid back soon. So instead, after we had been chatting for a while—half an hour or so, I'd guess—and things were going fairly well, I remarked that this place was busy and that we'd probably overstayed the seating limit (she didn't understand well here), and, something like, "we should split a pizza and take it back to your place."

She thanked me for the offer but declined in an immediate sense. I gleaned this was probably on account of the day's itinerary.

I wasn't entirely happy with my exact choice of words. For one, I can't recall if it was "split" or "split on". By "split" I had meant to divide the cost, since unilaterally paying for dinner for a chick isn't a good frame, but I'm far less than confident that my intent was conveyed properly. It doesn't help that pizzas get split in the literal sense. 🤦

I'm also not totally sure if it was "yours", "your place", or something not quite intelligible in the moment especially given the accents—I'm more accustomed to asking the girl to my place, so my confidence here was likely not perfect.

I had already considered this play a long shot and didn't want to stack non-compliance, so I just brushed off the matter as unimportant and continued chatting with the girl a bit more.

A pull seeming impossible, I deemed it important to end on my time, rather than hanging around the girl until she brushed me off. Already knowing her time constraint roughly was useful here. I kept an eye on the time, and after we had been together I'm guessing some 45 minutes, I noted that I should get going especially considering how much extra time I had spent.

She seemed perhaps mildly disappointed, also briefly scanned the food court, and she kind of kept us chatting a bit further a couple times, though ultimately co-operated and we wound things down mutually.

At some point, I can't recall where, I mentioned that another time I'd have to come over and she can show me more of her Kenya pictures. She seemed basically positive but at once made some remarks about her friends often being around with her son, so I'd have to meet him, but for that we'd have to be friends, she'd have to vet me.

I didn't say much, I know single parents vary in their level of comfort in having dates around their children. I just made a mental note that I'm better to try a pull to my place in order to bypass this. "Vetting" is certainly not going to be useful to a seduction!

I'm also not sure what she was talking about wrt the "friends", and almost wonder if she has roommates. Not that it matters, her place is out anyway.

As we finally wound things down, Claire noted she'd check out a nearby fashion shop.

She suggested we continue to talk, suggesting to text her that evening. I didn't do that but I did give her a quick ping the next afternoon asking how the friends did with the boy's fashion, and she replied positively.

As we got up, Claire gestured for a hug, which I went along with. I didn't quite think to feel up her ass or purposely mash her tits into me, but I did give a fairly firm grasp.

Then she takes me by some surprise with, "How tall are you?"

I didn't answer but instead she stepped back slightly and remarked, "A little taller than me."

Well, the only thing I love more than an African chick is an African chick who is taller than me, so I'm not quite sure what to say, here. :LOL:

I gave her a look like she was slightly silly, and right after she turned to go, I stroked her upper arm.

Had she been the one to end the date, I'm sure I'd have left with a feeling of powerlessness, but that did not happen.

What did happen is that it occurred to me that my claim of having to go was incongruent with my earlier suggestion to change venue. That's assuming I think about it logically. But I think with women, most things said are more about subtext than logic, and from that perspective, it was a better subtext.


What Now?

Not sealing the deal on the first date is generally pretty bad, but as a saving grace, it was fairly "short and sweet", did get in some kino and a few mild sexual mentions, but not too much. Am I being too optimistic by supposing a lay might still be possible here?

If it is possible, I think it's essential to make sure the next date is very well-poised to lead smoothly to intimacy. In fact, I would go as far as to say it's not worth my time unless I can get a date that's already directly at one of our places.

Her place is probably a bad idea due to the vetting re. the son, so I'm thinking best is to get her to mine.

My idea is to bring up something we'd mentioned, albeit not in this context: Kenyan food, and use this as a reason to come to my place. Tell her I want her to come over and show me how to make some Kenyan food and we can then eat while looking at photos. This is maybe high risk, but what I like about it is that if she agrees, surely she'll arrange enough time that sex is possible, and while we're in the kitchen I can get my hands on her and perhaps have her ready to fuck by the time we're done cooking, haha!

Another thing I like about it is that I don't waste my time: if she agrees to that date, sex is very likely, and if she doesn't, I don't bother with more outside dates that are likely to go nowhere.

Does this sound like a good idea? If so, how would I propose this smoothly?

Or, Hell, a less labour-intensive excuse that would work just as well would be even better. Mind you, keep in mind I don't have Netflix or even cable TV, my TV is in the storage room, I don't watch it. :LOL: I'd also be terrible with a movie, my attention span for them is way too high and I'd end up just watching it instead of escalating. :LOL:

As opposed to a movie I'd rather show her creative projects, which I had mentioned a little when we met. Unfortunately it's not fully set up but probably I could cobble something together. These involve audience interaction, so I could have her do the interacting, and I know them inside-out anyway so wouldn't distract me from escalating.

She'd make a nice FwB if I can pull it off, but at once I don't want to waste my time when I could just go meet more girls.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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