Cutting off long time friends

[killerman]

So i've read quite a bit of personal development and one of the themes which keeps on coming up is cutting off toxic people who put you down, or people who aren't as ambitious as you. Remember they say you're the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most amount of time with. So I'm thinking, let's say you're a guy. A type A guy. You're really fucking ambitious, want to make it to the top in your field/industry (let's say you're a musician and you want to be one of the best, most successful guitarists/musicians in the world) you're absolutely burning with ambition and desire and work your ass off, 10 hours a day, every day in order to make it happen. You're a positive, love life and go get it type of guy. But you have friends who have absolutely no ambition and have no interests other than watching sports and movies. Thing is you've known each other for more than a decade, and get along really well and have had some pretty great times together. Even though you're passionate and focused on working your ass off all day on your music and are focused on becoming great, you also enjoy calling your friends and talking about films and sports and every time you hang out you have a great time. The only difference between you and them is you're a super ambitious, workaholic, dedicated guy and they have no ambition in life, content with living a life of mediocrity. Should you cut them off or not?

 

[Ambiance]

Hey Killerman-

While having people close to you who display traits that are anathema to where you want to be is bad, you don't have to just burn the bridge down. I did this back in high school, and while it was better than remaining at their level, what I should have done was gradually withdrawn my investment level in the friendship. Far less resentment that way. You still remain friends and can enjoy each other, and it is far less uncool to this guy who you have cared about for quite a while and to your future self should you ever need this guy for anything.

Also, some things that are not so pressing now but good to have in the long run are the reference points you pick up from having a multitude of people in your life. If 10 years down the road you are running your own business and hanging out with tycoons and the like, it still is good to have connections to "the other side" if just to make you more relatable. While I'm sure you have a ron of those right. Ow, if you were to cut guys like him out those RPs would get rusty.

Hope that helps!

Ambiance

 

[Inbocca]

In high school and a little beyond, I mostly hung out with some guys from my former church. We were really into games, and we'd meet once a week for DnD or Magic the gathering or any number of one-time games. It was fun times but I eventually began to get tired of it and focus more on work and my own personal development. Fast forward a few years and I start to get serious about getting my shit together and having a fun life (going out, meeting girls, traveling, good job, exciting hobbies, etc.) and they're still right where I left them, plus some minor improvements. Most of them are good-looking guys with fair social skills and they're still kind of fun to hang out with. One time recently, we were gonna get together and just when most of us were setting up, the main guy who usually plans things changed the venue at the last minute to the other side of town for some girl he was interested in, and when we protested he basically disregarded us.

Point is, even people you deem less ambitious or less adept than you will put off your friendship if they feel they'll get something better by doing so. You might as well do it first. Don't burn the bridges, but don't bother surrounding yourself with things that hold you back.