- Joined
- Mar 11, 2016
- Messages
- 55
To preface this report, I just started driving on my own a month ago (I'm 19) and my experience cold approaching women is low. I get approach anxiety sometimes, but my biggest hurdle is finding talent to approach. Therefore, I gave nightlife a go, it's the biggest, most crowded place with ease of access to beautiful (and not so beautiful) women around Orlando. In theory, the best place for numbers game.
This happened yesterday 4/27.
A New Night Begins
It's my fourth night downtown and the second time I ever enter a club, my first time I had OD on nicotine and couldn't even walk straight, that's for another post. Anyway, my evening takes longer than expected and between parking & traffic it's already 11:30 when I arrive.
No worries, I'll just grab a cigar and walk around, get acquainted with the place and see where the under 21 clubs are... that was a mistake. Not the same mistake as night #1, where I huffed and puffed like a concert machine, but the flavor was simply too strong for my liking; couldn't really relax.
In Da Club
But hey, it's not the end of the world, so I enter a small dance club (mostly pop music) and tell myself. "Alright, just dance a little a bit, get loose, and then get the fuck out to start night game." Problem is, this whole experience is new to me, almost overwhelming. I look around and get a coke from a bartender, then sit and study the dance floor from 2nd floor.
I've only danced in my grandmother's basement some 2 years ago, and I'm thankful for that. I won't be Gene Kelly, Michael Jackson, or the Channing Tatum of the night, but I won't be the worst either; in any case, I'll learn a few moves tonight. Nonetheless, I walk down to edge of the dance floor (basically the only place besides said dance floor) with coke in hand.
Of course, can't really dance with a plastic cup full of soda in hand, err at least it'll get awkward when it's just ice. So I stand next to a guy I saw earlier (still in the same place with the same drink) and try to start conversation to build social momentum. I'm not naturally loud, so he doesn't hear at first.
So this is what Chase meant by saying dance clubs aren't conductive to verbal game. Can't hear a fucking thing
Then I sit on a nearby bench and finish my coke, I walk around the place, throw the coke away and sit again on the opposite end of the bench. I'm gathering courage to do this, even if I end up dancing like I'm suffering from cerebral palsy, I won't see these people again, 99% of them won't remember me, and even if they do it's still worse to keep looking at them without doing anything else. It takes a few more minutes of convincing, mainly in the area where I accept that nobody will care that I'm not a world-class dancer and I shouldn't either. You know, just taking the pressure off.
So I enter and dance, I compliment a guy -- all the while I haven't opened up to any woman -- on his moves and take inspiration from him; I begin to raise my arms more and generally be more fluid. However, then I begin to notice that I'm the only under 21 I've seen all night. My confidence in opening to women rapidly wither away even more as I notice that most girls are in mixed groups.
Fuck, I know I shouldn't care about this, but I do. On top of that, I've never opened to a mixed group before. Single women? Yes. Women in groups? Yup. Mixed groups? Ah fuck, how the hell can I do this? Nevermind I've never really had shouting conversations before.
Anyways, I keep dancing and look at my watch, it's still only 12:37 so I'll keep dancing for a little while. Oops. When I look at my watch again it's still 12:37. Fucker died on me, so I check my phone and it's like 2:24. No wonder I heard the DJ talk about a "last call" earlier and the music quality took a dive. It's illegal to sell alcohol in Orlando from 2am - 7am. I'll keep dancing, fuck it, never seen a bar close down so I'll dance the half-hour before going home.
Sometime in between or not long after a group of 3 chicks walk and stand next to me on the dance floor. But they all have bracelets, and in the time it takes for me to think on how to open (verbal vs physical) and get over approach anxiety, they leave the bar.
Also had a guy try to provide value, he said something to a nearby guy dancing conservatively and he loosened up, then he said something along the likes of "He has it going on!" to me; alas, shyness kicked in. Didn't know what to do & it showed, I gave him male asshole face before I could control it and he apologized. Damnit, guy was trying to be nice.
Street Walkin'
When they finally kick us out, I forget where I parked and begin walking the whole area. I notice more mixed groups and I have no idea on how to approach. I'm not looking to upset some drunk asshole and give my (religious) mom ammunition on why I shouldn't go out clubbing. Plus there's the whole "forgot where my car is" which just brings down my vibe.
As I entered the starts of a parking garage, I notice my first night fight. Apparently some chick got mad at her friend for whatever reason and the cat fight started, not even a good fight, just a sloppy mess; 2 dudes separate them. Unsafely, as one watches while the other one drags one of the fighters away; she was defenseless if the other bitch wanted to score a few hits in, fortunately she didn't. By the time I come back down from the third floor (newsflash, not my parking garage), there are people asking what happened and the girls nowhere in sight, the 2 dudes still by the car entrance. Oh well, c'est la vie.
For nearly 2 hours I walk around the area trying to find my parking garage -- after seeing all the multi-floor garages on the maps app and asking various people including parking attendants and the police what I remember about my parking garage -- I finally find it on an unmarked place next to the club I was sure I parked next to, but hadn't bothered to check because it wasn't on Google Maps.
Serve me right, I could have photographed the street, the garage itself, and the garage ticket I paid; I could have also screenshot my location or even bothered to remember the name. It hadn't been a problem when I parked on regular parking lots, needless to say that was the worse part of the night. At least I saw one other person who was under 21, but it was a dude.
I thought I'd hit the ground running once I had a car, but it's baby steps all the way.
Would love feedback on how to approach mixed groups and especially on dance floor game, all the under 21 bars I've found so far are dance clubs. Would love to hear if anyone has experience with slightly older chicks while bearing the under 21 stigma; I have two big black crosses on the back of my hands which automatically gives my "under-agedness away", should I even be worried about this?
In all it was a good night, I learned a few things and pushed myself out of my comfort zone, but it was not nearly enough, need to do more next time.
This happened yesterday 4/27.
A New Night Begins
It's my fourth night downtown and the second time I ever enter a club, my first time I had OD on nicotine and couldn't even walk straight, that's for another post. Anyway, my evening takes longer than expected and between parking & traffic it's already 11:30 when I arrive.
No worries, I'll just grab a cigar and walk around, get acquainted with the place and see where the under 21 clubs are... that was a mistake. Not the same mistake as night #1, where I huffed and puffed like a concert machine, but the flavor was simply too strong for my liking; couldn't really relax.
In Da Club
But hey, it's not the end of the world, so I enter a small dance club (mostly pop music) and tell myself. "Alright, just dance a little a bit, get loose, and then get the fuck out to start night game." Problem is, this whole experience is new to me, almost overwhelming. I look around and get a coke from a bartender, then sit and study the dance floor from 2nd floor.
I've only danced in my grandmother's basement some 2 years ago, and I'm thankful for that. I won't be Gene Kelly, Michael Jackson, or the Channing Tatum of the night, but I won't be the worst either; in any case, I'll learn a few moves tonight. Nonetheless, I walk down to edge of the dance floor (basically the only place besides said dance floor) with coke in hand.
Of course, can't really dance with a plastic cup full of soda in hand, err at least it'll get awkward when it's just ice. So I stand next to a guy I saw earlier (still in the same place with the same drink) and try to start conversation to build social momentum. I'm not naturally loud, so he doesn't hear at first.
So this is what Chase meant by saying dance clubs aren't conductive to verbal game. Can't hear a fucking thing
Then I sit on a nearby bench and finish my coke, I walk around the place, throw the coke away and sit again on the opposite end of the bench. I'm gathering courage to do this, even if I end up dancing like I'm suffering from cerebral palsy, I won't see these people again, 99% of them won't remember me, and even if they do it's still worse to keep looking at them without doing anything else. It takes a few more minutes of convincing, mainly in the area where I accept that nobody will care that I'm not a world-class dancer and I shouldn't either. You know, just taking the pressure off.
So I enter and dance, I compliment a guy -- all the while I haven't opened up to any woman -- on his moves and take inspiration from him; I begin to raise my arms more and generally be more fluid. However, then I begin to notice that I'm the only under 21 I've seen all night. My confidence in opening to women rapidly wither away even more as I notice that most girls are in mixed groups.
Fuck, I know I shouldn't care about this, but I do. On top of that, I've never opened to a mixed group before. Single women? Yes. Women in groups? Yup. Mixed groups? Ah fuck, how the hell can I do this? Nevermind I've never really had shouting conversations before.
Anyways, I keep dancing and look at my watch, it's still only 12:37 so I'll keep dancing for a little while. Oops. When I look at my watch again it's still 12:37. Fucker died on me, so I check my phone and it's like 2:24. No wonder I heard the DJ talk about a "last call" earlier and the music quality took a dive. It's illegal to sell alcohol in Orlando from 2am - 7am. I'll keep dancing, fuck it, never seen a bar close down so I'll dance the half-hour before going home.
Sometime in between or not long after a group of 3 chicks walk and stand next to me on the dance floor. But they all have bracelets, and in the time it takes for me to think on how to open (verbal vs physical) and get over approach anxiety, they leave the bar.
Also had a guy try to provide value, he said something to a nearby guy dancing conservatively and he loosened up, then he said something along the likes of "He has it going on!" to me; alas, shyness kicked in. Didn't know what to do & it showed, I gave him male asshole face before I could control it and he apologized. Damnit, guy was trying to be nice.
Street Walkin'
When they finally kick us out, I forget where I parked and begin walking the whole area. I notice more mixed groups and I have no idea on how to approach. I'm not looking to upset some drunk asshole and give my (religious) mom ammunition on why I shouldn't go out clubbing. Plus there's the whole "forgot where my car is" which just brings down my vibe.
As I entered the starts of a parking garage, I notice my first night fight. Apparently some chick got mad at her friend for whatever reason and the cat fight started, not even a good fight, just a sloppy mess; 2 dudes separate them. Unsafely, as one watches while the other one drags one of the fighters away; she was defenseless if the other bitch wanted to score a few hits in, fortunately she didn't. By the time I come back down from the third floor (newsflash, not my parking garage), there are people asking what happened and the girls nowhere in sight, the 2 dudes still by the car entrance. Oh well, c'est la vie.
For nearly 2 hours I walk around the area trying to find my parking garage -- after seeing all the multi-floor garages on the maps app and asking various people including parking attendants and the police what I remember about my parking garage -- I finally find it on an unmarked place next to the club I was sure I parked next to, but hadn't bothered to check because it wasn't on Google Maps.
Serve me right, I could have photographed the street, the garage itself, and the garage ticket I paid; I could have also screenshot my location or even bothered to remember the name. It hadn't been a problem when I parked on regular parking lots, needless to say that was the worse part of the night. At least I saw one other person who was under 21, but it was a dude.
I thought I'd hit the ground running once I had a car, but it's baby steps all the way.
Would love feedback on how to approach mixed groups and especially on dance floor game, all the under 21 bars I've found so far are dance clubs. Would love to hear if anyone has experience with slightly older chicks while bearing the under 21 stigma; I have two big black crosses on the back of my hands which automatically gives my "under-agedness away", should I even be worried about this?
In all it was a good night, I learned a few things and pushed myself out of my comfort zone, but it was not nearly enough, need to do more next time.
