FR Date, Big Fight, Learn to walk away, Importance of screening

[maximus6004]

lol, i honestly should have just walked away but my stupid pride learned me an important lesson tonight. Pretty sure the whole bar was looking at us. I go out with a black woman, petite cute, going to school. So i figure heck yea lets go out, we talk through text but she wants to talk in person. Fine, Big mistake lmao here is why.

Get to the bar and she is looking really cute, nicely dressed up smiling so we sit down. she orders a beer, high carb meal, and is all into the sports. I am not, boom first red flag.

Her"well you are different."
Me"how so?"
Her"you are picky about what you eat, and are drinking what vodka soda water and i am having a beer"
Me"yea, i dont drink much except occasionally and i try to stay as healthy as possible"
Her"interesting...."
Me"so how long have you been into sports, are you from here?"

We start to deep dive each other find out she is going through school to be a counsellor and loves psychology. Cool. She has her own house, 27 no kids. So obviously she is dedicating her life to studies and her career. She keeps bringing up religion, and how she cant wait to be with jesus christ and politics are her subject. I act bored, try to change the subject multiple times to travels, she doesnt, dreams, shes boring, she literally really doesnt have much of a sense of humour. RED FLAG NUMBER 2!

Here is where it goes down hill.

Her"you really arent serious at all, seriously how old are you?"
Me"excuse me?"
Her"you have no interest in politics are you even religious"
Me"not really good topics to get into"
her"seriously"
me"look its not going to end well down this path"

her body language has already turned closed off and blocking me out before this even happened so i was more into just finishing my drink and ending the night she could sense things werent going well.

Me"you know i have a friend that i could introduce you too, he loves this stuff"
her"whats wrong with him?"
Me"why does their have to be something wrong with him"
her"well what is it"
Me"hey we are going to be great friends"
her"i usually dont become friends with people like you"
Me"ahhh, so you know what im about?"
Her"what you think you got me figured out?"

OOOOPSSS LOL next thing i say.

me"well i can only guess that at 27 you dedicate your whole life to your career, thats cool, you arent into travelling, you live in a comfort zone and probably have your whole life planned out on where you want to be"
she smirks in a pissed off way
her"yeah, i think jesus has someone lined up for me, and i do know where i want to be"
Me" thats good i just don't agree with that mind set of thinking"
Her" are you gay?"
Me"lol, yea hundred percent flamer"
her"can you tell when woman are interested"
Me"well i can tell that you came dressed up, so you were curious, but your body language went from open to closed pretty fast"
Her"so, body language says everything?"
Me"it says something"

i cant remmeber how it got here but some how she pulled the fucking race card

Her"i'd like to be around my people"
me"why?"
her"excuse me thats a very rude comment to make"
me"well i just dont get it why are you here if you are racist"
her"because i live it every day"
Me"i'm not racist, i dont see colours"
her"people who say that are racist"
me"really, because my best friends are mexican and natice americans, my brother is black, half my family is black, dude what is your deal? i think its instilled in us as kids"
Her" my mother said i would have a hard time growing up, i didnt understand it until i grew up"
me"ahh, well i think im going to bounce"
her"so you can say your opinions but i cant say mine?"

I stupidly sit back down

Me" go ahead then whats so important"
Her"how about you go to college, and take a black history class, yeah they have thsoe why dont you take that then come back and talk to me, blacks have suffered ore than anyone"
Me"haha ok now we are insulting intelligence? how about you go take a history class, you are living a victim mentality yes their are racists out there. black people are racist to whites, whites to blacks, have we forgotten the holochaust. back in times white people used to be slaves of blacks..."
Her"yeah but that was a smaller amount"
Me"yeah because populations were slow back then! look at black people jumping white kids out side of stores if you guys iddnt have the upper hand you wouldnt have done the same? you are doing it now!"
Her"whatever"
Me"what about the spainiards in mexico? wow, read about history then you come back to me you are the most judgemental person i have ever met"
Her"and you are not?"
Me"their is a difference, i got to know you, you are different than what i expect, thats totally fine go do you, i support that but its not what i am looking for, you, you judge people if they are lower than you then you think you are better"
her"so you would want your kid doing crack?"
Me"common now, of course not but that is not my decision to make, you religious people, see things and want people to be just like you, the world is not, everyone is different accept them for who they want to be if they want help they will seek it"
her"excuse me"
me" they did a study on college students where some were police and some were criminals they had to shut it down because people were taking to the roles too seriously"

her arms and legs crossed head turned she was nodding her head really fast

Me"yeah you dont want to hear this fine we are done lets go"

outside

Me"well it was nice seeing you ahv a good night"
her"yea you too"

here is the weird part, she text me an hour later

Her"hey can i call you"
Me"whats up?
her"i'm really sorry if i offended you"
me"its cool we all have opinions you have a good night"
her"your a cool guy have a good night, i'll see you around."

didnt respond to that text number deleted peace out. Hope yall enjoyed my terrible date, im sure it could have ended up in a fist fight lol. my god, gentleman, screeeen your woman, screen them good!

 

[Raqimus]

The date didn't go to well because you two were on different ends of the spectrum of life and where you could accept she was different at the start she couldn't, did I get that right? But awesome frame control and holding to your opinions I think after she was probably interested as in like who the fuck is this guy that could hold his own against Mr and didn't cower to anything I said. Wasn't a good date but it was a very good example of strong frame control when I read this I imagined the conversation in a more calm tone or was it more rowdy since you said people were looking?
Oh and the shit test where she asked if you were gay was hilarious hahaha, your response was good but do you think something like why else are we here or something like that would be good?

 

[maximus6004]

It was calm, but, rowdy if that makes any sense. We didnt look happy lmao. She said that no bidy has ever said that shit to her, she just kept pushing my buttons I finally told her. Do you see why im serious because people cant habdle my opinions. She said I can see that. I even said at the end of it that its a damn shame she had to push it so much cuz I thought she was pretty and then walked away. Lol fuck I can honestly say im finally laughing about this date

 

[R.A.D.]

Well as a funny note i had a night like that were a girl came in an "i want you" attitude and left in an "i hate your guts" attitude. The two things i remember being constantly in the way was religion and guilt just like it appeared there.

I remember it seemed like she ended up hating me because i was constantly getting out the "worst" of her. So maybe this girl with her life figured out didnt like you as a potential chaos element in her life and sent all the blame in your direction, moreover the more she tested you the more she saw she didnt had that kind of power over you, so more mad she gets and gets you mad.

Anyway i know how frustrating a night like that is, now to dust off and find more gals!

 

[Vash]

This woman must've been HORNY AS FUCK if she decided to act so bitchy out of the blue. I encounter a lot of women like this, especially black women. Mama taught them how to be independent and not take shit from anybody, but didn't teach them how to be feminine or keep a man. You probably could've laid her if you persisted through the convo, but it was probably best to walk away.

Funny report. I got a date in a few hours too. Hopefully it won't end the same way lol.

 

[ray_zorse]

I think the trick in these situations is to be a chameleon, girl I am currently dating is Catholic, she crosses herself and says Grace before every meal, now I have never told a lie to her but there's no way she realizes I am an atheist, I was telling her abiut how I used to attend Catholic services when I did a homestay with a Polish family and how I had to learn to kneel and make the sign of the cross when entering the church and how my background is Church of England and a bit about the split (Henry the 8th created C of E) and how it differs from Catholicism, now if someone discussed those topics with you you'd hardly turn around and say "are you even religious?" would you now (if she did I'd be forced to answer "no"). Check the spellbinding video series and the discussion of bridges and gaps -- I never create gaps now and you shouldn't either, just go for the lay and capitalize on your investment. That said there are some girls I find I dislike enough not to push for the lay.
cheers, Ray
Edit: Just remembered another case in point, my first tinder date the other day... early on she wanted me to tell her about myself, I said "what do you want to know", she said "I'm very bad at asking people questions", so I (shamefully) complied with a brief bio, I figured since she was Greek she'd probably have a big family so I included this, well thats one of the only times I've created a gap since upgrading my convo according to GC, anyway I digress, she didn't ask me another question all night but later went into a huge spiel about how she doesn't date guys with kids and they are essentially the scum of the Earth and how can they expect to date her since they can't commit their time to her, and they shouldn't have left their families anyway and on and on... I encouraged her to be more open minded but basically I was just sitting there trying not to piss myself, it was incredibly difficult to keep a straight face but I knew if I smirked she would realize something was up and ask if I had kids and I'd have to say "yes" hahaha so I did it. Anyway should have pushed harder for the lay since I was right outside her place but I wanted to catch last train home so left, she's up for another date though I prob will not bother.

 

[lao che]

this is hilarious

no time to read all the responses now but i'll say this. maybe it's just because of my being a little older, but it's perfectly possible to completely disagree with somebody but still get along. opinions, are just that, they aren't important, at the end of the day.

it's all about the tease and the vibe. with this girl i would have teased her about being a goody two shoes. probably a virgin. depending on the vibe i might have gone as far as "i might as well leave, then. i'm clearly wasting my time here if you're waiting for jesus to come and fuck you" but obviously you have to build up to that.

it's not for everyone, i can be pretty full on with the shit i say. if anyone's offended, fuck em. most people don't get offended and if they are that's there problem. i'm not trying to offend, THEY are offended. you see what i mean? anyway, i've gone off track. funny that you had this massive fight out of nowhere. stay away from religion and politics, man! everyone knows that!!!!


haha good luck i hope you bang her

 

[maximus6004]

Lol you guys made me laugh. Thanks for the comments and stories relating to the situation. Although I was trying to pawn her off on my friend half way through the date. She started to playfully hit me more she was horny I was just turned off by this girl and no longer interested. To many underlying problems in her life way too many girls out there to sleep with. Effort want worth the results

 

[lao che]

how did you meet and end up on a date with her

 

[maximus6004]

She was meeting.some friends for some drinks who bailed on.her last minute so I invited her into my group and let her talk to my friends and I bounced early asked her for her phone number chatted her through text messaging

 

[lao che]

yeah reading it back more carefully, she was testing you hard, and looks like you failed.

her"yeah, i think jesus has someone lined up for me, and i do know where i want to be"
Me" thats good i just don't agree with that mind set of thinking"
Her" are you gay?"
Me"lol, yea hundred percent flamer"
her"can you tell when woman are interested"

she wanted you, man. she even gave you another chance with the texts later.


i want to meet this girl! she sounds like fun. hook me up, man!

 

[maximus6004]

Yupp, I know she was, she got even more turned on when I called her out on her shit, she was so boring tho. I like had no sexual interest in.her after the first fifteen minutes. No excitement at all.came from my end. She goes to school watches tv sleeps repeat. No sense of adventure, nothing interested me.about her. Yea she was pretty but eh to me.her personality wasn't. We had nothing in.common. I. Have had lays where it was just sex one night stands, it was super boring. If their is a good tension and good conversation it just makes it better even of you dont see them.again opposed to hey lets just bang

 

[maximus6004]

Basically old me, would have been like omg who cares if she is boring, I just want to bang. However the more girls I sleep with and bad experiences I go through the more I learn.to screen them out because if you have had a stalker yet. Its not fun... lol they really are not fun when they for one second just go hey I miss you then two seconds later they are freaking out threatening to break your shit show up un announced it gets bad. So I saw her red flags and I bounced.

 

[lao che]

fair points,

i just find girls to be so malleable, though. it doesn't matter what they are like before, they will become whoever you want them to be. or they will mold themselves into the girl you guide/train them into being. with things like positive reinforcement etc.

anyway it is what it is. you did it your way i would have done it my way. that's what we're here for, to learn from each other.

peace

 

[maximus6004]

I get you, lets put it this way. What yiu say is exactly right. What happens when you take alcohol away from a non alcoholic vs an alcoholic. What happens when you take crack away from a crack head. I've been there with those woman you. They dont act happy when you take away their support of happiness. Its better in my opinion to find woman who already have their shit together. It comes with experience though. Eventually the weird girls get annoying but until then. Enjoy them. Someone has too. Ive just had two stalkers, a stripper who gave me an std scare, its not fun anymore. Lol

 

[maximus6004]

Ok guys. So.I took the test on my skill level and got technician basically day two of the book and I read the article on Social pressure ny homework is to write down where I may have missed this. This report came to mind. Even tho I was turned off by the chick. When she kept bringing up religion, I should have used the points to look bored, and put pressure on her. I did not do this until.I decided to get angry and was just done talking to her. She started to nervously laugh. Also when she started to insult my intelligence. I should have broken rapport with her, or ignored her comments which the second option seems better to make it look like I didn't get upset but rather annoyed and bored. When she asked.me.pointed questions towards deep diving I should have focused.more and did it back to her.

Other than that, a better job of leading on my part. It was hard to point out the faults but homework partly done