Date Compression

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Hey guys,

If you haven't read Chase's article on Date Compression, you should. Essentially, you combine the mainstream view of dating and courtship (i.e., many dates that lead to intimacy) with our more genuine and exciting view of dating (i.e., quick intimacy). The solution is to still have many dates, just REALLY fast. It slips into boyfriend-esque behavior, because you're investing lots of time and showing too much interest, but since you move quickly, it falls more into a "lover" method of dating.


I plan to experiment with date compression this week. I've landed a few lays on first dates, but here at school I have to really watch my reputation. I don't mind the player reputation and am working that to my advantage, but I'm not sure how the "he tries to sleep with you on the first date" reputation will affect me. Yeah, it adds to the sexual man vibe, but that and the "player" reputation don't exactly expose your "techniques," whereas the rumor of me attempting intimacy after the first date, - that's something specific people can sabotage me with. Tell a girl I have a date scheduled with that I'll try to sleep with her that night, and there's a good chance she'll bail.

So in an effort to avoid blowback if I fail to escalate with my dates this week, I will add the social cushion that "he attempted intimacy on the 2nd or 3rd date." Will this help me? Am I just lying to myself and should just go all out by always attempting first date sex?


My first date is Tuesday. We're getting ice-cream. I plan to deep dive, albeit lightly, at the ice cream shop, and then go on a walk afterwards. She is also free Wednesday for dinner and I plan to suggest it before we end the date on Tuesday. I want to invite her over to cook. So, 2 dates, back to back. A few questions, however:

1. Do I kiss her at the end of the Tuesday date? Or is that too boyfriendy?

2. Chase allows adaptation by lengthening date compression to 4 dates, rather than 3. Probably a silly question considering rules can always be bent if done with wisdom and decisiveness, but would it be wise to reduce the date compression to 2 dates, going from light/fun to intimate?

3. Will this ACTUALLY provide the social cushion I expect it to (i.e., if I do fail to escalate and lose her, will my reputation be saved by the fact that I'd waited 2 dates this time?)


May you all become powerful beyond measure,

Anatman

 

[Ross]

Just a quick note Anatman,

If everything feels right on the first date and closing feels natural, go for it. I personally don't feel as though date compression is going to make much of a difference in your reputation unless you're trying to close and things feel rushed. You're at the point where you don't need to have the hard rule of attempting to escalate as fast as possible. The ideal of moving fast is to move quickly, but not have everything feel rushed and hurried. Instead, everything was completed quickly and at the perfect time.

As I stated before, I don't think that it will provide too much of a cushion by the fact that you waited 2 dates rather than one, because it can still feel rushed if you were pushing boundaries too early and too often. If you want my true and honest opinion, you need to quit worrying so much about your reputation. You're still learning, and mistakes will be made. If other people want to spent their time judging you about something that doesn't even effect them, that's their prerogative. You'll quickly notice that the opinion of others is not going to have a huge effect on your game. Girls may think, "Oh, it's the player, better play hard to get!" or something along those lines, but they very easily default back into their normal persona when they aren't actively thinking about things.

When you focus less on trying to prevent people from judging you, and more on how to deal with them judging you, you'll find that you'll be much happier. Judgments are going to happen of all types, from different types of people, for different reasons.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Just a quick note Anatman,

If everything feels right on the first date and closing feels natural, go for it. I personally don't feel as though date compression is going to make much of a difference in your reputation unless you're trying to close and things feel rushed. You're at the point where you don't need to have the hard rule of attempting to escalate as fast as possible. The ideal of moving fast is to move quickly, but not have everything feel rushed and hurried. Instead, everything was completed quickly and at the perfect time.

As I stated before, I don't think that it will provide too much of a cushion by the fact that you waited 2 dates rather than one, because it can still feel rushed if you were pushing boundaries too early and too often. If you want my true and honest opinion, you need to quit worrying so much about your reputation. You're still learning, and mistakes will be made. If other people want to spent their time judging you about something that doesn't even effect them, that's their prerogative. You'll quickly notice that the opinion of others is not going to have a huge effect on your game. Girls may think, "Oh, it's the player, better play hard to get!" or something along those lines, but they very easily default back into their normal persona when they aren't actively thinking about things.

When you focus less on trying to prevent people from judging you, and more on how to deal with them judging you, you'll find that you'll be much happier. Judgments are going to happen of all types, from different types of people, for different reasons.

You're always right there, ready to remove some of the dust from my eyes, Ross. Thank you, my friend.

The ideal of moving fast is to move quickly, but not have everything feel rushed and hurried. Instead, everything was completed quickly and at the perfect time.

This...perfect.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Well, you're right, date compression didn't matter much. Just got a LR- Hopefully it turns into a LR soon, but she's a virgin, so we'll see.

 

[Whizzy]

This is my go to technique if for some reason things aren't sealed by the end of the second date, although that tends to be a sign of a girl being hurt in the past and not trusting guys I'm tending to find

 

[Franco]

Whizzy,

although that tends to be a sign of a girl being hurt in the past and not trusting guys I'm tending to find

Not necessarily. Generally what it means if you end up going on more than one date with a girl (because she wouldn't go home with you) is that you didn't disqualify yourself enough as a boyfriend. I know this because it's probably still one of the weakest parts of my game, and it's difficult for me to change it because of my living situation, my job, and my past precedent (which has been to show things you have that are high value to women).

When I was learning, I closed a lot of women on second, third, fourth, and even FIFTH dates. They were always super into me and I was able to maintain a very sexual vibe -- which kept them coming back -- but they would still seem to find out how much "provider" potential I had, and that would often force me to run Date Compression on them to get the lay. My current girlfriend I took to bed on the third date (while running Date Compression).

So anyway, if you find you keep ending up on multiple dates with women, then you might want to analyze how you are running your game. Does she know how much money you make? Can she tell that you'll stick around long or that she can easily get another date out of you? Does she sense that you're looking for something long-term rather than a fun fling? If she can sense any of these things, then your chances of getting the immediate or first-date lay can go right down the toilet.

With that being said, there ARE cases where girls just have mental blocks with moving things forward due to difficult pasts, but these women usually fall into the cluster B category and should probably be avoided anyway.

- Franco

 

[Whizzy]

Hey Franco,

This normally isn't the case for me, I've just been going on enough dates lately with different women that I've noticed a trend in the ones who seem to try and hold off. To be honest they were also cluster B which is why i cut contact soon after