This meet with this lady was rather controlled by her and to a large extent, I could tell during the course of running the process that she was more so as I will outline below.
Her Approach
So, I get on the bus, headed to the location of my lodging while in town and my outfit is somewhat the standard tee with a wristwatch and a pair of frames. I assume the position of a laid back dude with no rush to arrive at his locale. A few stops from my place of coming off, a slender tall lady wearing a long polyester dress which revealed her figure came in and rudely butt into the bus. She had on beats-by-Dre headphones and the sat right next to the person who was on the bus there. I took one look at her and relaxed. She was obviously very angered about something.
Some stops ran past and the dude who was seating between us had to get off. She scooted closer to me to cover the space between us. I was still looking devil may care then I whipped out my phone and was merely holding onto it when she looked at me and said:
I deliberately put my hand on her elbow and ease off the bus.
Being that this was not the first approach of the day, I was pretty warmed up for it. The earlier ones were the usual brush-offs, and rude responses. It's still amusing the way some of them had been. I may begin accommodating a documentary crew who could take me and my stuff on accordingly to be viewed by several people. Either case, when I got this number I figured it's the bone that grace throws at you when you are diligent with the ish you are with at the time.
Getting home, I sent the regular messages – no reply. I went on to dial the number and it was not available even till the next day. From the looks of it, this was going to be a blow off. When I saw her on whatsapp, I hesitated a bit from being the first to message her and then decided to do it anyway - time was to be taken advantage of. She replied very late and even then, seemed distracted in her response. At this, I gave up and began focusing on other things.
Sunday evening, I got a call from a strange number. I called the number back and on the other side of the line, the lady was shouting in a very guarded way that she was looking for the person who owned this line that answers 'skin_man'. I said it was the correct one and mentioned that she had to call back. She did not. I waited again and then called. She picked and I asked her who it was, she said her name is [name] and that she had spoken to a particular auntie on this line a few days before. I corrected her that it was a guy's name and number and that she was speaking to the 'skin_man'.
Immediately, I asked her how things was and dropped a short story about seeing someone jitsu with a conductor on the bus and how ridiculous that looked. She joined in my battering of such an attitude and much to her ignorance, I was referring to the initial picture I had of her when she first got on the bus the first time we met. After that talk passed, I asked her to text me when she felt she would meet up and basically threw it with a nonchalant air as I was supposed to “do some house chores”. She bit and I felt it on my end of the call, so I ended it.
About two hours passed On this Monday morning that we had spoken and e being pressed for time, I sent her this:
“Hey Christie, I'm bored. Let's meet up and swap salivas. I know a club not far away and I think we can make it there today.”
She replied and said: “lol which club.”
A few hours to the time, I text her and she picks up gladly and makes a comment about where she is. I note that it sounded noisy and I begin to probe her to direct herself to where I am. She complies and I start getting there. When I arrive, She was not really set yet. I began to text her where she should meet me. She replied with a refusal then an alternative. The text was like this: “No. Let's meet at this [petrol station]. There is a bar close to there.” A text like that showed a well thought out answer and I was not disillusioned. I hoisted up my bag and began making my way to the place. Texting only to confirm a few things from her and then finally called when I arrived. The whole thing felt like I was the babe looking for the guy's attention but I thought, “whatever, she seems more aware of the town than I do.” When she told me to wait at a hotel bar, I knew I was going to have to deal with a procuress of some sort, but I was wrong. That assumption thought helped me to be very cautious when ordering my drinks at the bar so that I did not get too drunk and begin spending money.
She arrived about an hour later and I texted her a few things to keep her mind active: even mentioning that she would buy me a drink when she arrived there.
Date Itself
When she called and said she was there. I told her to come in – she was not living in the hotel obviously. She walked in, big smile. Kissed me on the lip and held my hands with doe eyes. I was staring right back at her and she was just cheesing. I immediately broke the ice by asking her the fastest place she ever had sex in. This made her chuckle and sit back in relaxation. Her energy had been so strong and I was amazed I could handle it without breaking a sweat. That sex question was never answered but it helped buy me time to compose myself after meeting this bold and in control lady.
The entire date went like a movie. She was so touchy and very relaxed, often taking her feet off the floor to place on the seat or maybe pulling my hands to her lap and leaving it there. I was ecstatic. If the waiter had not asked what she would like to drink, and If I had had a tighter set of logistics, we would have left the place immediately. Just so 'argh' when I think about it now. For the time we spent there was somewhat a test of my mettle to deal with such circumstances and flowing from topic to topic and avoiding too much of a deep dive gave me the courage to pull her close to me at time and just look at her.
She commented thus about me: “You really made me not get temperamental – as I really am. I don't go out. In fact, when you were not going off on the phone, I was so calmed.”
After this long speech which I have truncated because it was much more heavy laden with platonic and borderline polite speech, I asked her if she would like us to go fight somewhere. As I said this, my hands were on her thighs and she was leaning in to me and smiling asking what I meant by fight. Then I broadened it by telling her she could show me some photos she has taken at her place. She then pointed out that her place of abode is with someone so, she would not be able to meet me there. I instantly changed the direction of the conversation and decided within myself that we could just relax and keep talking in the terms we were already doing. All the plans and intention were not lost as I still thought she would like to spend the night.
At some stages, I indicated that the hotel had a room and people stayed there. She agreed. It was a sure thing that all that was lacking was my logistics. When the conversations were getting lower, she asked for photos to be taken. I took shots of her and said we should go outside to take some more shots. The goal was to leave and not come back.
Outside the bar, as I held her hands to leave, there was a guy sitting and smoking his cigar. I asked him to take a photo of us without even looking at what he was doing. The man responded by commanding me to come to him. I deftly abdicated my power as a man in a dating circumstance, and walked over to him. This faux pas was not smiled upon by my lady and though she said nothing, I could tell that attraction had flown out the window. The me-guard did not even rise up to consider taking a photo for me and after standing by his side for a brief second, I realized my mistake and ignored the brute, swinging my bag on my shoulders in contempt. She was meekly waiting as a perfect witness to all this and I walked back over to her and offered that we snap on our own. When she leaned away, I should have pulled her close but I gave her a peck on the cheek.
Looking on this preceding scenario, it was the logistical challenge that was bleeding through my interaction with this beautiful girl. What a terrible way to reward one of the most collected and invested dates I have been with in Africa. She was no procuress and her entire personality was laid bare before me. It would have been better for the interaction to have been swapped with when I had met with Mon the gold-digger or Ella the big hipped Jezebel. In any case, the damage has been done and the only way to rectify it was to close the date with myself leaving on my own and we parting ways. When she got a call, she referred to me as her friend, whom she was waiting with. Cue friend-zone credits.
Lessons
The lessons learned from this date is splashed all over the write up. But I'll skin them out and lay them here:
Logistical challenges can be surmounted no matter how high they are. If money is a challenge and logistics is another challenge, then end the date on a high sexual note instead of letting it ring around down the drain. It shows promise and can have a hot lady begin chasing you for a much better meet up.
If your date comes and has no drink, when the waiter arrives, ask her to come back later if you see that your date is not very eager to make an order. This delay by your date is not unintentional, she is letting you lead and wants you to do so on your terms. She will not refute whatever you ask her to do.
When I delayed in taking her away from the place, she began talking about her husband and her future partner, more or less qualifying herself as a girlfriend. This error is because I had communicated that I would travel – great boyfriend disqualification – but I had failed to escalate our discussion beyond both of us sitting at a bar. In retrospect, she must feel that I had promise as a lover but showed boyfriend tendencies when it didn't happen sooner.
End of Report.
Her Approach
So, I get on the bus, headed to the location of my lodging while in town and my outfit is somewhat the standard tee with a wristwatch and a pair of frames. I assume the position of a laid back dude with no rush to arrive at his locale. A few stops from my place of coming off, a slender tall lady wearing a long polyester dress which revealed her figure came in and rudely butt into the bus. She had on beats-by-Dre headphones and the sat right next to the person who was on the bus there. I took one look at her and relaxed. She was obviously very angered about something.
Some stops ran past and the dude who was seating between us had to get off. She scooted closer to me to cover the space between us. I was still looking devil may care then I whipped out my phone and was merely holding onto it when she looked at me and said:
I deliberately put my hand on her elbow and ease off the bus.
Being that this was not the first approach of the day, I was pretty warmed up for it. The earlier ones were the usual brush-offs, and rude responses. It's still amusing the way some of them had been. I may begin accommodating a documentary crew who could take me and my stuff on accordingly to be viewed by several people. Either case, when I got this number I figured it's the bone that grace throws at you when you are diligent with the ish you are with at the time.
Getting home, I sent the regular messages – no reply. I went on to dial the number and it was not available even till the next day. From the looks of it, this was going to be a blow off. When I saw her on whatsapp, I hesitated a bit from being the first to message her and then decided to do it anyway - time was to be taken advantage of. She replied very late and even then, seemed distracted in her response. At this, I gave up and began focusing on other things.
Sunday evening, I got a call from a strange number. I called the number back and on the other side of the line, the lady was shouting in a very guarded way that she was looking for the person who owned this line that answers 'skin_man'. I said it was the correct one and mentioned that she had to call back. She did not. I waited again and then called. She picked and I asked her who it was, she said her name is [name] and that she had spoken to a particular auntie on this line a few days before. I corrected her that it was a guy's name and number and that she was speaking to the 'skin_man'.
Immediately, I asked her how things was and dropped a short story about seeing someone jitsu with a conductor on the bus and how ridiculous that looked. She joined in my battering of such an attitude and much to her ignorance, I was referring to the initial picture I had of her when she first got on the bus the first time we met. After that talk passed, I asked her to text me when she felt she would meet up and basically threw it with a nonchalant air as I was supposed to “do some house chores”. She bit and I felt it on my end of the call, so I ended it.
About two hours passed On this Monday morning that we had spoken and e being pressed for time, I sent her this:
“Hey Christie, I'm bored. Let's meet up and swap salivas. I know a club not far away and I think we can make it there today.”
She replied and said: “lol which club.”
A few hours to the time, I text her and she picks up gladly and makes a comment about where she is. I note that it sounded noisy and I begin to probe her to direct herself to where I am. She complies and I start getting there. When I arrive, She was not really set yet. I began to text her where she should meet me. She replied with a refusal then an alternative. The text was like this: “No. Let's meet at this [petrol station]. There is a bar close to there.” A text like that showed a well thought out answer and I was not disillusioned. I hoisted up my bag and began making my way to the place. Texting only to confirm a few things from her and then finally called when I arrived. The whole thing felt like I was the babe looking for the guy's attention but I thought, “whatever, she seems more aware of the town than I do.” When she told me to wait at a hotel bar, I knew I was going to have to deal with a procuress of some sort, but I was wrong. That assumption thought helped me to be very cautious when ordering my drinks at the bar so that I did not get too drunk and begin spending money.
She arrived about an hour later and I texted her a few things to keep her mind active: even mentioning that she would buy me a drink when she arrived there.
Date Itself
When she called and said she was there. I told her to come in – she was not living in the hotel obviously. She walked in, big smile. Kissed me on the lip and held my hands with doe eyes. I was staring right back at her and she was just cheesing. I immediately broke the ice by asking her the fastest place she ever had sex in. This made her chuckle and sit back in relaxation. Her energy had been so strong and I was amazed I could handle it without breaking a sweat. That sex question was never answered but it helped buy me time to compose myself after meeting this bold and in control lady.
The entire date went like a movie. She was so touchy and very relaxed, often taking her feet off the floor to place on the seat or maybe pulling my hands to her lap and leaving it there. I was ecstatic. If the waiter had not asked what she would like to drink, and If I had had a tighter set of logistics, we would have left the place immediately. Just so 'argh' when I think about it now. For the time we spent there was somewhat a test of my mettle to deal with such circumstances and flowing from topic to topic and avoiding too much of a deep dive gave me the courage to pull her close to me at time and just look at her.
She commented thus about me: “You really made me not get temperamental – as I really am. I don't go out. In fact, when you were not going off on the phone, I was so calmed.”
After this long speech which I have truncated because it was much more heavy laden with platonic and borderline polite speech, I asked her if she would like us to go fight somewhere. As I said this, my hands were on her thighs and she was leaning in to me and smiling asking what I meant by fight. Then I broadened it by telling her she could show me some photos she has taken at her place. She then pointed out that her place of abode is with someone so, she would not be able to meet me there. I instantly changed the direction of the conversation and decided within myself that we could just relax and keep talking in the terms we were already doing. All the plans and intention were not lost as I still thought she would like to spend the night.
At some stages, I indicated that the hotel had a room and people stayed there. She agreed. It was a sure thing that all that was lacking was my logistics. When the conversations were getting lower, she asked for photos to be taken. I took shots of her and said we should go outside to take some more shots. The goal was to leave and not come back.
Outside the bar, as I held her hands to leave, there was a guy sitting and smoking his cigar. I asked him to take a photo of us without even looking at what he was doing. The man responded by commanding me to come to him. I deftly abdicated my power as a man in a dating circumstance, and walked over to him. This faux pas was not smiled upon by my lady and though she said nothing, I could tell that attraction had flown out the window. The me-guard did not even rise up to consider taking a photo for me and after standing by his side for a brief second, I realized my mistake and ignored the brute, swinging my bag on my shoulders in contempt. She was meekly waiting as a perfect witness to all this and I walked back over to her and offered that we snap on our own. When she leaned away, I should have pulled her close but I gave her a peck on the cheek.
Looking on this preceding scenario, it was the logistical challenge that was bleeding through my interaction with this beautiful girl. What a terrible way to reward one of the most collected and invested dates I have been with in Africa. She was no procuress and her entire personality was laid bare before me. It would have been better for the interaction to have been swapped with when I had met with Mon the gold-digger or Ella the big hipped Jezebel. In any case, the damage has been done and the only way to rectify it was to close the date with myself leaving on my own and we parting ways. When she got a call, she referred to me as her friend, whom she was waiting with. Cue friend-zone credits.
Lessons
The lessons learned from this date is splashed all over the write up. But I'll skin them out and lay them here:
Logistical challenges can be surmounted no matter how high they are. If money is a challenge and logistics is another challenge, then end the date on a high sexual note instead of letting it ring around down the drain. It shows promise and can have a hot lady begin chasing you for a much better meet up.
If your date comes and has no drink, when the waiter arrives, ask her to come back later if you see that your date is not very eager to make an order. This delay by your date is not unintentional, she is letting you lead and wants you to do so on your terms. She will not refute whatever you ask her to do.
When I delayed in taking her away from the place, she began talking about her husband and her future partner, more or less qualifying herself as a girlfriend. This error is because I had communicated that I would travel – great boyfriend disqualification – but I had failed to escalate our discussion beyond both of us sitting at a bar. In retrospect, she must feel that I had promise as a lover but showed boyfriend tendencies when it didn't happen sooner.
End of Report.
