Date - Push to Date 2?

[Delta]

Hey guys!

So been reading Chase's topics for close to 2 weeks now. And cannot express my thanks! Absolutely amazing how you explain it in laymans terms and its so logical as well.
Anyway, I've been dating this girl I know from work, a really pretty one. (Funnily enough it was Chase's article about beautiful vs cute girls and how beautiful girls tend to be less approached)

So at work I had exchanged 1-2 conversations with her about food, etc. By my 3rd time I casually asked, so I should get your number. Let's set up a coffee date. Green light! Tick. So esctatic that night.
Booked in a day, but she had to reschedule, and in fact she replied with a lengthy text of Thurs I'm free, Sat and Sun after 5pm, or Mon & Tues after 3:30 orientation.

Proceeded with the date, and switched from coffee (I know bad bad!) to a Thai Restaurant (semi-expensive around $65 all up), deep dived, and learnt what her aspirations were - Wanting to study medicine and in process of applying for admissions tests, and how she would be completing a study course over the weekend, childhood in Europe, etc. Unfortunately, due to logistics (she lives with her parents, and so do I), we parted and sort of the conversation died down a little bit.

I accidentally got too excited that night and sent an sms that very night saying we should follow up with that coffee we were talking about the next weekend, so let me know when your schedule frees up.

Fast forward now close to 1 week yesterday, she's been texting lots about how hard this and that is, I replied and tried as Chase said to focus on setting up the next date. To each time she would say, "Will do. No worries". But still no concrete date for this weekend. On Tuesday, I proceeded to be game and persistent and asked her if she was working this weekend - Only Saturday. But I was stupidly not game enough to directly ask then, how about Sunday?
She then went home after work, she even sent me a message saying Hope its not too busy, have a good shift.

I replied, great. Btw, Let me know if Friday or Saturday sound goods, and again she says "No worries, will let you know".

So...I guess my question is - Do you think I've been friendzoned, or I should toss it up as a loss?
I now realise, a mistake I made was being too apparent I was chasing her...

Thanks! And hm the 14day assignment seems like a good one to read up!

 

[carlitos2055]

It doesn't look like you've been completely friend zoned, but you have to act quick if you want anything with this girl. Going on too many dates is not a good thing, you want to go on 1 date maximum, unless something urgent happened that you couldn't do anything with her that day. If both of you live with your parents I suggest going to an isolated area and fucking her in your car, girls love it. Like you said be more dominant and persistent, when she says: "No worries, will let you know" you gotta be more persistent and be direct. It looks like she has the power and she's in control. You might want to decline the date say something came up, wait a couple days then be direct and persistent and ask her out.

Best of luck,
-Carlos

 

[ray_zorse]

Yeah. Well I couldn't say if things can be turned around with this chick but I make a habit of whenever I'm in this kind of situation to sideline it for a while, do a shit ton of cold approach, then maybe revisit it when I'm in more of an "abundance" headspace... I just know when I am over invested and likely to be uncalibrated or switch to cautious rather than IDGAF mode, and in those situations I don't speak to her at all since I cannot trust myself to do it right.

Nail that 14 day assignment bro. You won't be sorry.

cheers, Ray

 

[Delta]

Guys can't thank enough! You've shed a diff perspective for sure.

Funny went out with some good friends (who happen to be girls), and they too were saying I'm not friendzoned yet, but I definitely lost the chase to her. Right along the lines of what you guys are saying.
Lol instead they're planning to make her chase me now. So will be putting on a short act next time so that when I'm near the target, these 2 friends will make her jealous along the lines of - Friday was great! we need more dinners like these etc.

Ah Ray's a fellow Aussie. And also great to have some miami feedback!

 

[Delta]

So just a quick follow up - I'll let my friends do the jealousy thing.

Hm 2 different opinions. If I do, do the cold approach, what's a rough time frame would you recommend before starting things up with her, before the law of attraction expires?

Or if I do persist, should I just be direct and saying, ok this weekend you're free? Swing by my place!

 

[ray_zorse]

It seems to me, that if you've said let me know about Fri or Sat and she's said no worries she will let you know, then hasn't, then that is a good point to leave it alone and let her make the next move, and let's face it, she won't, right...

As a general rule you never want to let someone hold leverage on you by leaving you hanging, and that's one good reason to let her propose a time that suits her, rather than you proposing a time and having to keep it free till she confirms much later.

The correct response to someone holding leverage (or trying to) is something like "oh hey, I understand, you have a lot going on right now. we can try again some other week." or whatever. This politely tells her that you won't keep both Fri and Sat free pending her belated confirmation.

Forget this woman. The fundamental issue is you did not generate enough attraction on the first date -- maybe shared too much info about yourself and lost intrigue, maybe did not use touch or flirting, maybe missed windows or failed shit tests? Who knows, who cares... onwards and outwards.

Get out of scarcity. Read Chase's ebook and get approaching, it will take hundreds of approaches and tens of dates to get good at generating attraction, but it's very rewarding too.

cheers, Ray

 

[carlitos2055]

What Ray said. Stop acting like this is the only girl in the world, just drop it. You lost this battle, but now you know what to do/not to do next time. Good luck!