Background
She's set 3 from this report
Events from the day leading up to this
This took place during Sunday evening and lasted 2.5 hours
Due to language barriers, I couldn't use any flowery lines or gambits
Texting
On Friday, I soft closed her, and she bit (I had soft closed earlier on Wednesday, but she didn't bite). She was busy on Saturday. She said her roommate wanted to go to the library on Sunday to study and would be bringing her along. I told her to tell her roommate that they can study in the morning and that she had plans with a good friend in the afternoon. She didn't reply.
On Saturday, I followed up with a "..." She said they wouldn't be able to wake up early enough on Sunday. I said we could meet in the late afternoon, like 4pm. I hate getting dinner with girls on dates. She also didn't reply.
On Sunday at 1pm, she replied out of the blue saying that she's still at home laying down and haven't left for the library. I told her to either cancel the library trip or shorten it. At that point, I wasn't sure if she was going to accept, so I left my place and went to the college town either way. It was gonna be a day game session if she didn't come out. When I was on the train, she said she's down to meet and added that she hasn't eaten anything since 10pm. It's 2:30pm now. I suggested a Mexican restaurant to deal with the hunger issue. She asked if it's now, and I explained that these restaurants don't have blackout periods (not sure what the right term is) after the typical lunch hours. She said she had to do some grocery shopping and proposed 6pm.
Though it wasn't optimal, I accepted because if I didn't, my thought process at that time was I would have to wait another week to get her out. With the information that I have now, due to midterms, I would have had to wait another ~2 weeks (~3 weeks would have passed between the initial meet and the date), so this was definitely the right call in hindsight.
Meet
After finishing the day game session, at ~6pm, I got a text from her that she's here at the monument but didn't see me. I don't recognize her at first from a distance. There's a girl looking around wearing a white blouse and some denim booty shorts. I told new guy that the date's here, and I got to go. Quick handshake with him before walking over to her. I think I grabbed her shoulder and motioned for us to walk in a direction away from campus with "let's go."
Walk to the restaurant
Right away, she asked me who that guy was. I said he's my friend.
The restaurant was nearby. I told her that I haven't been there before (she acted surprised), so I said it had good reviews on Yelp. As we're walking there, our shoulders were touching and we're deep into each other's personal space. I think my upper arms rubbed against her bra / boobs multiple times. We were not this close (physically) during the instadate before.
Half-jokingly, I told her that her roommate was a bad role model with bad time management skills and that she shouldn't shouldn't learn from her. She's giggling the whole time. She told me that she checked out some of the local attraction / tourist sights with her roommates and her other friend during the previous days. It was 4th of July in the US. She told me she swapped out one of her courses cuz the professor talked too fast. I asked her what she was doing after this, and she said she had to go back to her apartment and do homework that was due before class on Monday. They were laying in bed on their phones and did nothing productive all day. Procrastination. She also had to leave before it got dark / the sun set because it gets dangerous at night, according to her. I assured her that nothing bad would happen as I was here.
With the new pieces of logistical information and given her romantic background, I assigned a low success rate of pulling her back to her apartment (she had her own room) on this date. The food in our stomachs wouldn't help either. The instadate previously was a lot of rapport-building and me deep diving her on her educational background and upbringing.
When we arrived at the Mexican restaurant, it was packed as hell. The storefront also looked dingy as fuck. I proposed we go elsewhere. She said she was cool with Thai food. I pulled out Apple Maps to help. As we're walking there, I asked if she smoked, drank, or did drugs, all separately. She replied no, and why would I ask about drugs cuz they carry very harsh punishments in China (death penalty). I said I was a drug dealer. If that were true, she'd have to stay away from me, she responded. Just kidding, I said.
Here, something significant occurred. The original intention was for a DHV, but this topic would have an effect on the rest of the interaction. I brought up that some black girl was hitting on me a couple of days ago. She approached me, I talked to her a bit, she wasn't a good fit, I took down her contact, did some texting, and was passing her on to a friend. She was also 220 lbs (100kg) with a booty the size of my microwave (will refer to her as microwave girl going forward), and grew up in a "broken" household. I told her that microwave girl just wasn't the right fit for me. My thought process was that microwave girl's qualities, both physical and non-physical, were the opposite of the girl in front of me, akin to showing that I had standards and the girl in front of me qualified.
She said she's never heard of referring girls you don't like to your friends before, especially in China, and this was new. I said this was new to me as well, and different guys have different female preferences. She asked if the guy that I referred microwave girl to was new guy (the guy at the beginning at the meet site). I said no, but the friend whom I passed microwave girl to was also black. Now, she wondered why I had so many black friends
. I'm like what's wrong with having black friends?
So we arrived at the Thai place. There were 2 other girls who just got there too. Apparently, a piece of paper on the door read that the store was closed for 4th of July and the rest of the week. Bruh! This wasn't stated on Apple Maps. Everyone was disappointed. I pulled out Apple Maps and found another Mexican restaurant. This place was right next to the first restaurant, the crowded one, so we walked back.
When we got there, I couldn't find the entrance to the stupid restaurant. I stepped back and analyzed the restaurant sign carefully. It said that they're on the 2nd floor. The 1st floor had another restaurant. I walked into a small alley. It's a bit dark. Then, I found a small flight of stairs. I signaled her to follow me upstairs. I go up, and there's a bolted door. I pulled out Apple Maps, and upon further review, they closed early on Sundays. FML!
Alright, this was getting out of control, I thought. I saw some random Asian restaurant on Maps, and told her we're going there. She asked if it's far, and I replied that it's just 1 block away. When we got there, I realized that there's no dine-in option. Everything was takeout-only...
There's a Korean BBQ restaurant right next to this one. She said she got food here just a few days ago. It was great. "Maybe we should do this place instead?" I walked over with her to buy time on Maps. There's no way I was letting her dictate the restaurant, despite the previous failed attempts, as that would have heavily damaged my frame and put into question my leadership / decision-making abilities. I found a noodle place on Maps and told her this place was open now and had indoor seating.
As we're approaching the noodle restaurant, I figured I wanted to do some damage control. I assessed the situation, and we were both still very close physically while walking, so it looked fine. I was a bit frustrated, so the first thing I said to her was I could've done a better job with the restaurant selection if she didn't make this a last-minute thing. She didn't really react. That was not a good line. Afterwards, my second line was much better after I got my cool back. I did a re-frame. "Hey look, I'm such a good influence on you. Since you've been laying in bed all day, I'm giving us the opportunity to explore the city and put some steps in. Talk about a win-win that's good for our health."
This whole walking took 25 mins.
At the restaurant
This turned out to be an extremely popular restaurant. We soon learned why. There were 15 people in line, with 10 in front of us. The line went out the door. We were both looking at the menu on the window, deciding on what to get.
She asked me if I had a picture of an ex-gf so I showed her one. She said she's using filters. I said that's her picture, not mine, and she's not nearby anymore.
I saw a girl occupying a 2-seat table and pointed it out that she's on her phone, eating really slow, and doesn't look too good. Somehow, this turned into us rating the guests sitting at the tables nearest us. This is a college town, so everyone is either late teens or twenties. She didn't find any of the guys attractive lol. I saw a South Asian girl, and I said she's got a cute round face. My girl doesn't think she's cute at all and was surprised I liked that type. She likes the blonde girl across from South Asian girl and asked what I thought about her. I said her face looked weird. Their table was getting to leave. She told me that if I liked her I should stop South Asian girl when she's leaving and grab her number. I said why would I do that if you're here. She said to not worry, like I was gonna fall for it lol. As South Asian girl passed in front of us, she's too skinny, like a stick, I pointed out. And I don't like sticks. My strategy was to disqualify them based on a feature that my girl had but the girl in question didn't have.
After a bit of waiting, the server led us to a table that hugged the wall, where we're seated across from each other. One thing I forgot to do when we were seated was to play footsies. There's a tablet at the table for us to order food, and you have to pay ahead of time, including the tip, which made 0 sense. The total was $50. I called the server over and asked if we could use 2 cards to pay cuz I was not gonna foot the whole bill not because I couldn't afford it. He said their payment system could only take 1. What a piece of shit! I was about to tell her that she could pay for me next time, but she had a good idea. She told me to pay via card and handed me $25 in cash without me asking for it. I complimented her and said she's very intelligent.
As we're waiting for the food to arrive, we somehow landed on the topic of US vs. Chinese citizenship. She was asking questions about how to become a US citizen and additional info on green cards. She said she knew of people in China who married an American and then had a kid here. Per US laws, anyone born in the US is automatically a citizen. She liked this as opposed to the China way. Apparently, it's hard to become a Chinese citizen if you're a foreigner. I had a good comeback here. I mentioned how I knew this one girl who went out with a guy who's a US citizen. On their date, that girl also asked the guy the same questions, which set off his alarm, and he never saw her again. My girl didn't mention US citizenship after this
It turned out that the portion sizes here were hugeee. When our food arrived, she gave me 1/3rd of her noodles lmfao. I said she could've just gotten a to-go box if she couldn't finish it, but she didn't want to. There was also an appetizer, which I thought was overkill.
Midway, I had to use the bathroom. I told her to not add poison to my food while I was gone. When I returned, there was a 20-people motorcycle gang that zipped pass the restaurant outside. It was super loud, and everyone turned around. She spotted this table behind us with 3 blonde girls. She said they all looked really attractive, especially the one at the corner. I honestly thought she was really cute, but I told my girl that she looked like she was 15 = way too young.
Before we left, the motorcycle gang did another loop. When we turn around again, there's an Asian girl waiting to get seated with her boyfriend (I think?). My girl said she had a nice outfit. I said that may be true, but she's too skinny, like those Chinese TikTok models. Somehow, from all of this, she concluded that I had Western beauty standards. I said that's completely false. I go for what I like and don't follow any standards. She wondered if I had any weight requirements on a girl. I started off with no. She asked how about microwave girl, who weighed 100kg. I'm like nah, she's too big. She asked if 80kg was acceptable, I said it depends on the girl. 70kg? Also depends on how the weight is distributed and her height. If all that weight were in her stomach, I would be running for the hills. She's like ahh, I see, so it's not one dimensional. I responded with "of course not, nothing is black and white." How about 60kg? That's not a problem, I said. She asked me to guess how much she weighed. Since she last mentioned 60kg, I said 60kg. She retorted that she weighed less, somewhere between 55kg and 60kg. I said that's a great weight. She wanted to slim down even more. I told her that she's not fat at all since the average US woman weighed 180lbs (it's actually 170lbs now that I've checked, oh well).
She stopped eating before me and said she's full. I ended up with 1/3rd of noodles uneaten on my plate. She said I eat too little, and I'm like I ate 1/3rd of your noodles too don't forget. As I'm finishing up, there were still 2 pieces of appetizers left. She encouraged me to eat them. I said sure, but you have to feed me. She didn't want to. Compliance failed.
She asked if I was going back to my city after this. I didn't think this was an escalation window but couldn't be 100% sure. "Maybe, unless you want to bring me back to your place and adopt me. I can hide in your closet for the night if your roommates come looking." Unfortunately, she had to do some school work and couldn't.
When we're getting up from the table, she wanted to go home straightaway. I just sensed that something was not right here. It's 7:30pm now. I used her previous frame against her. "Hey, it's not dark yet. Let's head to campus (5 min walk) and chill. You can leave in a bit when the sun sets." Looking back, if we parted ways here, things would have ended on a very shaky note...
Campus + a dozen objections and shit tests
As we're walking back to campus, our bodies were still physically close to each other. I asked if she met any cute guys recently as we crossed an intersection. There was a cute guy sitting across from her on the train when she was with her friends a few days ago, she remembered. She did nothing. I said she could've asked for his IG. Girls don't make the first move in China, she responded. I slapped her ass somewhere around here. Thinking back, my nonchalance when telling her to grab his contact was too player-ish. Should've just shut up.
She saw a blonde guy with wavy hair in front of us, and she mentioned she really liked how he looked. There was a crazy homeless guy yelling on the street. She was spooked and wanted to speed walk around him. I told her not to worry as the loud ones generally aren't a physical threat. I held her closely and we walked around the homeless guy. It's starting to get cold, so I found a place to sit on campus where there's sunlight, and she followed my lead. This area was a vantage point and overlooked the main thoroughfare with a lot of people passing by.
I can't remember what topic I started off this part of the conversation with, but it was light and lasted 5 mins. She looked disengaged and was checking her phone occasionally, similar to when we were at the restaurant. I put my hand around her. That was ok. When I tried to put my hand on her thighs, she always pushed my hand away or pulled her leg back a bit. This was the same scenario as the instadate. Not enough comfort.
Gradually, she started looking away from me more and didn't look like she was enjoying things, so I had to dive into this.
It was great that she's starting to open up. It seemed like the primary objection would be related to my social frame, such as being too player-ish. My strategy from that point onwards was to have her float all of her objections so I could either re-frame or shoot them down, depending on the circumstances.
The first thing I did was to show her that my text messages with microwave girl were from a few days ago and there's been no contact since then. However, I was practicing my sexual verbals with microwave girl over text prior to passing her on, and I didn't want the girl to see too much of the content. I held my phone close to my body and showed her the timestamp for the last message. She probably saw that a few images were exchanged and was suspicious that I probably exchanged nudes with her. I didn't. I showed her a picture of a vibrator that I snapped to microwave girl and said microwave girl was really into these things. My girl took a good look at the vibrator picture lol. I told her that if she didn't have one yet and wanted a souvenir to bring back to China, we could hit up Target and get her a vibrator
I wasn't thinking through this next part. So I hit "back" to go back to the main messages menu, and she saw a bunch of numbers with no contact names on that screen. As a side note, I do not save any girl that I meet in my Contacts, so they all appear as numbers without names. One of the recent contacts from a few hours ago was from a girl that I met from the day game session. The message read "hey - [name] from [building name that we met]." I swiped up to reach my home screen ASAP, so I don't know how much she saw. She asked why I had so many numbers with no contact names in my phone. I replied that a lot of these are one-off junk messages. I quickly pulled up a random message from DoorDash saying "your order has arrived" as an example to show her and switched topics immediately
She was rating a few guys that walked by. All the guys that she liked were nerdy blonde guys. I teased her on that. Then, she mentioned that one of the guys walking by was really hot. He actually looked like a pretty cool guy with a hoodie and some shorts on. I told her to get her ass off the seat and go talk to him already. She might as well marry him and have kids. She cracked up.
Suddenly, she told me a theory that she had about me, that I leveraged my walks on campus to chat up girls. I admitted that I loved walking because it's a great way to put in some steps and stay healthy, but the rest of her theory was categorically false. She said she didn't see my friend last time, and I was probably picking up girls whom I liked the looks of while I trawled the campus solo. I said you saw my friend today. She asked what we were doing. "Just shooting the shit and hanging out."
Next, she commented on my original approach, saying that I spooked her. We met at a sign with a map of the campus. I explicitly pre-approached by standing in front of the sign for 30 secs, so I was in her direct line of sight. She said she was looking down at the map of the campus the whole time and didn't see me standing in front of her. I responded that it's not my problem since I already pulled off the right move to prevent spooking. She was just blind. If we were to redo this, I promised I would just jump onto the sign so she could see me right away instead of having to hover in front of her since it made to difference. She laughed.
I said with the way that she was asking me all these questions, she should work as a detective after she graduates. What she was doing resembled an interrogation in a back room. She found that funny. For some reason, she opined that I was probably a bad student when I was in college and slacked off. Someone who wasn't serious with academics. I'm like my GPA was almost a 4.0, so she was making shit up with her accusation.
Somehow the conversation turned to my job. I reiterated that I already told her what I did last time and that she had a bad memory. She demanded quickly that I'd be more specific about what I did. This was getting annoying. At this point, I had to clear my throat cuz the strong sauce from the noodle place was clogging things up. I excused myself, walked over to the bushes behind us, spit twice, and came back in all of 20 seconds. I broke into an extremely technical explanation of what I did using jargons to make sure she didn't understand any of it haha.
Bus stop
At this point, she was on her phone and said she had to catch the bus in 15 mins, so we began walking to the edge of the campus. I said I would accompany her to the bus stop just so she didn't get lost. My intention was to address any follow-up objections and shit tests she might have. As we're near the edge, she was asking me how nice it would be to have a job. And now, she asked how much I made salary-wise. I said I make $1. She was open to hearing either the hourly or annual amount. I made fun of her that I don't normally get asked this question, and it's a bit weird. She doubled down on her question. I said I made $1, each year. No more job questions after this.
While we're standing on the street that separated the campus from the city, she found her bus line but didn't know where the bus stop was. Here, we're standing face-to-face with the only thing between us being her phone (she's on Google Maps). The distance between us was like half a foot, so really close. At first, she didn't let me see her phone screen. I told her to show me her phone. Otherwise, the bus was gonna leave, and she'd still be stuck standing here. We're standing parallel now and after seeing Google Maps, I led her to the bus stop.
We sat down on a tiny bench at the bus stop. I said that I'm sure that she had a lot of fun today. She agreed. I tried putting my hand on her thigh, but she moved my hand away, again. At a diagonal from us was a blonde black girl in a fancy olive dress. She's about to cross over to our street. She thought that the girl was really pretty and exactly my type. I said she had a nice dress, but she's not for me cuz she looked too wild and I liked the more tamer ones (I used the same formula at the restaurant to disqualify girls that were too different than the one in front of me). She doubled down and said the blonde black girl was the perfect fit for me. I'm like she's too wild, and I won't be able to handle her. She laughed. She checked on Google Maps, and unfortunately her bus got delayed by 10 mins or something. I pointed out that our "friends," the 3 blonde girls from the restaurants were walking by behind us. They just got ice cream. She said I should get going. Don't remember what I said here, but eventually she let me put my hand on her thigh, and I wrapped my other arm around her as a mini goodbye hug. I crossed the street diagonally, even without the walking sign on, and disappeared from her view.
Bonus: post-date texting (featuring simp daddy)
After the date on Sunday, I didn't text her until Tuesday. She's been responding very quickly, we're teasing each other, and everything has been looking good. Unfortunately, she's not free to meet in the near term due to midterms.
She mentioned she met a guy in one of her classes, and this guy chose the class after noticing that she's taking it from a group chat. Apparently, this guy just graduated from high school in China (18 yo) and is like a wimpy little bro to her. He wanted to hang out with her 2x a week forward after class to grab food and go study in the library, even proposing to meet on the weekends. She shot down the weekend suggestion with the excuse that she had to chill with her roommates. She screenshotted me some of his texts, and he's one of the biggest simps out there. See for yourself:
She found all of that funny at first. Today, we texted, and she provided me an update on simp daddy. Apparently, they got food and studied at the library yesterday, and the guy kept calling her pretty. This made her feel really embarrassed. So he chose to come to this school for the summer exchange program because of her and asked if she wanted to study in the UK with him in the future. He stated that he wanted to marry her too... She felt that he was really weird
Comments, questions, or concerns on how to proceed greatly appreciated
She's set 3 from this report
Events from the day leading up to this
This took place during Sunday evening and lasted 2.5 hours
Due to language barriers, I couldn't use any flowery lines or gambits
Texting
On Friday, I soft closed her, and she bit (I had soft closed earlier on Wednesday, but she didn't bite). She was busy on Saturday. She said her roommate wanted to go to the library on Sunday to study and would be bringing her along. I told her to tell her roommate that they can study in the morning and that she had plans with a good friend in the afternoon. She didn't reply.
On Saturday, I followed up with a "..." She said they wouldn't be able to wake up early enough on Sunday. I said we could meet in the late afternoon, like 4pm. I hate getting dinner with girls on dates. She also didn't reply.
On Sunday at 1pm, she replied out of the blue saying that she's still at home laying down and haven't left for the library. I told her to either cancel the library trip or shorten it. At that point, I wasn't sure if she was going to accept, so I left my place and went to the college town either way. It was gonna be a day game session if she didn't come out. When I was on the train, she said she's down to meet and added that she hasn't eaten anything since 10pm. It's 2:30pm now. I suggested a Mexican restaurant to deal with the hunger issue. She asked if it's now, and I explained that these restaurants don't have blackout periods (not sure what the right term is) after the typical lunch hours. She said she had to do some grocery shopping and proposed 6pm.
Though it wasn't optimal, I accepted because if I didn't, my thought process at that time was I would have to wait another week to get her out. With the information that I have now, due to midterms, I would have had to wait another ~2 weeks (~3 weeks would have passed between the initial meet and the date), so this was definitely the right call in hindsight.
Meet
After finishing the day game session, at ~6pm, I got a text from her that she's here at the monument but didn't see me. I don't recognize her at first from a distance. There's a girl looking around wearing a white blouse and some denim booty shorts. I told new guy that the date's here, and I got to go. Quick handshake with him before walking over to her. I think I grabbed her shoulder and motioned for us to walk in a direction away from campus with "let's go."
Walk to the restaurant
Right away, she asked me who that guy was. I said he's my friend.
The restaurant was nearby. I told her that I haven't been there before (she acted surprised), so I said it had good reviews on Yelp. As we're walking there, our shoulders were touching and we're deep into each other's personal space. I think my upper arms rubbed against her bra / boobs multiple times. We were not this close (physically) during the instadate before.
Half-jokingly, I told her that her roommate was a bad role model with bad time management skills and that she shouldn't shouldn't learn from her. She's giggling the whole time. She told me that she checked out some of the local attraction / tourist sights with her roommates and her other friend during the previous days. It was 4th of July in the US. She told me she swapped out one of her courses cuz the professor talked too fast. I asked her what she was doing after this, and she said she had to go back to her apartment and do homework that was due before class on Monday. They were laying in bed on their phones and did nothing productive all day. Procrastination. She also had to leave before it got dark / the sun set because it gets dangerous at night, according to her. I assured her that nothing bad would happen as I was here.
With the new pieces of logistical information and given her romantic background, I assigned a low success rate of pulling her back to her apartment (she had her own room) on this date. The food in our stomachs wouldn't help either. The instadate previously was a lot of rapport-building and me deep diving her on her educational background and upbringing.
When we arrived at the Mexican restaurant, it was packed as hell. The storefront also looked dingy as fuck. I proposed we go elsewhere. She said she was cool with Thai food. I pulled out Apple Maps to help. As we're walking there, I asked if she smoked, drank, or did drugs, all separately. She replied no, and why would I ask about drugs cuz they carry very harsh punishments in China (death penalty). I said I was a drug dealer. If that were true, she'd have to stay away from me, she responded. Just kidding, I said.
Here, something significant occurred. The original intention was for a DHV, but this topic would have an effect on the rest of the interaction. I brought up that some black girl was hitting on me a couple of days ago. She approached me, I talked to her a bit, she wasn't a good fit, I took down her contact, did some texting, and was passing her on to a friend. She was also 220 lbs (100kg) with a booty the size of my microwave (will refer to her as microwave girl going forward), and grew up in a "broken" household. I told her that microwave girl just wasn't the right fit for me. My thought process was that microwave girl's qualities, both physical and non-physical, were the opposite of the girl in front of me, akin to showing that I had standards and the girl in front of me qualified.
She said she's never heard of referring girls you don't like to your friends before, especially in China, and this was new. I said this was new to me as well, and different guys have different female preferences. She asked if the guy that I referred microwave girl to was new guy (the guy at the beginning at the meet site). I said no, but the friend whom I passed microwave girl to was also black. Now, she wondered why I had so many black friends
. I'm like what's wrong with having black friends?So we arrived at the Thai place. There were 2 other girls who just got there too. Apparently, a piece of paper on the door read that the store was closed for 4th of July and the rest of the week. Bruh! This wasn't stated on Apple Maps. Everyone was disappointed. I pulled out Apple Maps and found another Mexican restaurant. This place was right next to the first restaurant, the crowded one, so we walked back.
When we got there, I couldn't find the entrance to the stupid restaurant. I stepped back and analyzed the restaurant sign carefully. It said that they're on the 2nd floor. The 1st floor had another restaurant. I walked into a small alley. It's a bit dark. Then, I found a small flight of stairs. I signaled her to follow me upstairs. I go up, and there's a bolted door. I pulled out Apple Maps, and upon further review, they closed early on Sundays. FML!
Alright, this was getting out of control, I thought. I saw some random Asian restaurant on Maps, and told her we're going there. She asked if it's far, and I replied that it's just 1 block away. When we got there, I realized that there's no dine-in option. Everything was takeout-only...
There's a Korean BBQ restaurant right next to this one. She said she got food here just a few days ago. It was great. "Maybe we should do this place instead?" I walked over with her to buy time on Maps. There's no way I was letting her dictate the restaurant, despite the previous failed attempts, as that would have heavily damaged my frame and put into question my leadership / decision-making abilities. I found a noodle place on Maps and told her this place was open now and had indoor seating.
As we're approaching the noodle restaurant, I figured I wanted to do some damage control. I assessed the situation, and we were both still very close physically while walking, so it looked fine. I was a bit frustrated, so the first thing I said to her was I could've done a better job with the restaurant selection if she didn't make this a last-minute thing. She didn't really react. That was not a good line. Afterwards, my second line was much better after I got my cool back. I did a re-frame. "Hey look, I'm such a good influence on you. Since you've been laying in bed all day, I'm giving us the opportunity to explore the city and put some steps in. Talk about a win-win that's good for our health."
This whole walking took 25 mins.
At the restaurant
This turned out to be an extremely popular restaurant. We soon learned why. There were 15 people in line, with 10 in front of us. The line went out the door. We were both looking at the menu on the window, deciding on what to get.
She asked me if I had a picture of an ex-gf so I showed her one. She said she's using filters. I said that's her picture, not mine, and she's not nearby anymore.
I saw a girl occupying a 2-seat table and pointed it out that she's on her phone, eating really slow, and doesn't look too good. Somehow, this turned into us rating the guests sitting at the tables nearest us. This is a college town, so everyone is either late teens or twenties. She didn't find any of the guys attractive lol. I saw a South Asian girl, and I said she's got a cute round face. My girl doesn't think she's cute at all and was surprised I liked that type. She likes the blonde girl across from South Asian girl and asked what I thought about her. I said her face looked weird. Their table was getting to leave. She told me that if I liked her I should stop South Asian girl when she's leaving and grab her number. I said why would I do that if you're here. She said to not worry, like I was gonna fall for it lol. As South Asian girl passed in front of us, she's too skinny, like a stick, I pointed out. And I don't like sticks. My strategy was to disqualify them based on a feature that my girl had but the girl in question didn't have.
After a bit of waiting, the server led us to a table that hugged the wall, where we're seated across from each other. One thing I forgot to do when we were seated was to play footsies. There's a tablet at the table for us to order food, and you have to pay ahead of time, including the tip, which made 0 sense. The total was $50. I called the server over and asked if we could use 2 cards to pay cuz I was not gonna foot the whole bill not because I couldn't afford it. He said their payment system could only take 1. What a piece of shit! I was about to tell her that she could pay for me next time, but she had a good idea. She told me to pay via card and handed me $25 in cash without me asking for it. I complimented her and said she's very intelligent.
As we're waiting for the food to arrive, we somehow landed on the topic of US vs. Chinese citizenship. She was asking questions about how to become a US citizen and additional info on green cards. She said she knew of people in China who married an American and then had a kid here. Per US laws, anyone born in the US is automatically a citizen. She liked this as opposed to the China way. Apparently, it's hard to become a Chinese citizen if you're a foreigner. I had a good comeback here. I mentioned how I knew this one girl who went out with a guy who's a US citizen. On their date, that girl also asked the guy the same questions, which set off his alarm, and he never saw her again. My girl didn't mention US citizenship after this
It turned out that the portion sizes here were hugeee. When our food arrived, she gave me 1/3rd of her noodles lmfao. I said she could've just gotten a to-go box if she couldn't finish it, but she didn't want to. There was also an appetizer, which I thought was overkill.
Midway, I had to use the bathroom. I told her to not add poison to my food while I was gone. When I returned, there was a 20-people motorcycle gang that zipped pass the restaurant outside. It was super loud, and everyone turned around. She spotted this table behind us with 3 blonde girls. She said they all looked really attractive, especially the one at the corner. I honestly thought she was really cute, but I told my girl that she looked like she was 15 = way too young.
Before we left, the motorcycle gang did another loop. When we turn around again, there's an Asian girl waiting to get seated with her boyfriend (I think?). My girl said she had a nice outfit. I said that may be true, but she's too skinny, like those Chinese TikTok models. Somehow, from all of this, she concluded that I had Western beauty standards. I said that's completely false. I go for what I like and don't follow any standards. She wondered if I had any weight requirements on a girl. I started off with no. She asked how about microwave girl, who weighed 100kg. I'm like nah, she's too big. She asked if 80kg was acceptable, I said it depends on the girl. 70kg? Also depends on how the weight is distributed and her height. If all that weight were in her stomach, I would be running for the hills. She's like ahh, I see, so it's not one dimensional. I responded with "of course not, nothing is black and white." How about 60kg? That's not a problem, I said. She asked me to guess how much she weighed. Since she last mentioned 60kg, I said 60kg. She retorted that she weighed less, somewhere between 55kg and 60kg. I said that's a great weight. She wanted to slim down even more. I told her that she's not fat at all since the average US woman weighed 180lbs (it's actually 170lbs now that I've checked, oh well).
She stopped eating before me and said she's full. I ended up with 1/3rd of noodles uneaten on my plate. She said I eat too little, and I'm like I ate 1/3rd of your noodles too don't forget. As I'm finishing up, there were still 2 pieces of appetizers left. She encouraged me to eat them. I said sure, but you have to feed me. She didn't want to. Compliance failed.
She asked if I was going back to my city after this. I didn't think this was an escalation window but couldn't be 100% sure. "Maybe, unless you want to bring me back to your place and adopt me. I can hide in your closet for the night if your roommates come looking." Unfortunately, she had to do some school work and couldn't.
When we're getting up from the table, she wanted to go home straightaway. I just sensed that something was not right here. It's 7:30pm now. I used her previous frame against her. "Hey, it's not dark yet. Let's head to campus (5 min walk) and chill. You can leave in a bit when the sun sets." Looking back, if we parted ways here, things would have ended on a very shaky note...
Campus + a dozen objections and shit tests
As we're walking back to campus, our bodies were still physically close to each other. I asked if she met any cute guys recently as we crossed an intersection. There was a cute guy sitting across from her on the train when she was with her friends a few days ago, she remembered. She did nothing. I said she could've asked for his IG. Girls don't make the first move in China, she responded. I slapped her ass somewhere around here. Thinking back, my nonchalance when telling her to grab his contact was too player-ish. Should've just shut up.
She saw a blonde guy with wavy hair in front of us, and she mentioned she really liked how he looked. There was a crazy homeless guy yelling on the street. She was spooked and wanted to speed walk around him. I told her not to worry as the loud ones generally aren't a physical threat. I held her closely and we walked around the homeless guy. It's starting to get cold, so I found a place to sit on campus where there's sunlight, and she followed my lead. This area was a vantage point and overlooked the main thoroughfare with a lot of people passing by.
I can't remember what topic I started off this part of the conversation with, but it was light and lasted 5 mins. She looked disengaged and was checking her phone occasionally, similar to when we were at the restaurant. I put my hand around her. That was ok. When I tried to put my hand on her thighs, she always pushed my hand away or pulled her leg back a bit. This was the same scenario as the instadate. Not enough comfort.
Gradually, she started looking away from me more and didn't look like she was enjoying things, so I had to dive into this.
It was great that she's starting to open up. It seemed like the primary objection would be related to my social frame, such as being too player-ish. My strategy from that point onwards was to have her float all of her objections so I could either re-frame or shoot them down, depending on the circumstances.
The first thing I did was to show her that my text messages with microwave girl were from a few days ago and there's been no contact since then. However, I was practicing my sexual verbals with microwave girl over text prior to passing her on, and I didn't want the girl to see too much of the content. I held my phone close to my body and showed her the timestamp for the last message. She probably saw that a few images were exchanged and was suspicious that I probably exchanged nudes with her. I didn't. I showed her a picture of a vibrator that I snapped to microwave girl and said microwave girl was really into these things. My girl took a good look at the vibrator picture lol. I told her that if she didn't have one yet and wanted a souvenir to bring back to China, we could hit up Target and get her a vibrator
I wasn't thinking through this next part. So I hit "back" to go back to the main messages menu, and she saw a bunch of numbers with no contact names on that screen. As a side note, I do not save any girl that I meet in my Contacts, so they all appear as numbers without names. One of the recent contacts from a few hours ago was from a girl that I met from the day game session. The message read "hey
- [name] from [building name that we met]." I swiped up to reach my home screen ASAP, so I don't know how much she saw. She asked why I had so many numbers with no contact names in my phone. I replied that a lot of these are one-off junk messages. I quickly pulled up a random message from DoorDash saying "your order has arrived" as an example to show her and switched topics immediately She was rating a few guys that walked by. All the guys that she liked were nerdy blonde guys. I teased her on that. Then, she mentioned that one of the guys walking by was really hot. He actually looked like a pretty cool guy with a hoodie and some shorts on. I told her to get her ass off the seat and go talk to him already. She might as well marry him and have kids. She cracked up.
Suddenly, she told me a theory that she had about me, that I leveraged my walks on campus to chat up girls. I admitted that I loved walking because it's a great way to put in some steps and stay healthy, but the rest of her theory was categorically false. She said she didn't see my friend last time, and I was probably picking up girls whom I liked the looks of while I trawled the campus solo. I said you saw my friend today. She asked what we were doing. "Just shooting the shit and hanging out."
Next, she commented on my original approach, saying that I spooked her. We met at a sign with a map of the campus. I explicitly pre-approached by standing in front of the sign for 30 secs, so I was in her direct line of sight. She said she was looking down at the map of the campus the whole time and didn't see me standing in front of her. I responded that it's not my problem since I already pulled off the right move to prevent spooking. She was just blind. If we were to redo this, I promised I would just jump onto the sign so she could see me right away instead of having to hover in front of her since it made to difference. She laughed.
I said with the way that she was asking me all these questions, she should work as a detective after she graduates. What she was doing resembled an interrogation in a back room. She found that funny. For some reason, she opined that I was probably a bad student when I was in college and slacked off. Someone who wasn't serious with academics. I'm like my GPA was almost a 4.0, so she was making shit up with her accusation.
Somehow the conversation turned to my job. I reiterated that I already told her what I did last time and that she had a bad memory. She demanded quickly that I'd be more specific about what I did. This was getting annoying. At this point, I had to clear my throat cuz the strong sauce from the noodle place was clogging things up. I excused myself, walked over to the bushes behind us, spit twice, and came back in all of 20 seconds. I broke into an extremely technical explanation of what I did using jargons to make sure she didn't understand any of it haha.
Bus stop
At this point, she was on her phone and said she had to catch the bus in 15 mins, so we began walking to the edge of the campus. I said I would accompany her to the bus stop just so she didn't get lost. My intention was to address any follow-up objections and shit tests she might have. As we're near the edge, she was asking me how nice it would be to have a job. And now, she asked how much I made salary-wise. I said I make $1. She was open to hearing either the hourly or annual amount. I made fun of her that I don't normally get asked this question, and it's a bit weird. She doubled down on her question. I said I made $1, each year. No more job questions after this.
While we're standing on the street that separated the campus from the city, she found her bus line but didn't know where the bus stop was. Here, we're standing face-to-face with the only thing between us being her phone (she's on Google Maps). The distance between us was like half a foot, so really close. At first, she didn't let me see her phone screen. I told her to show me her phone. Otherwise, the bus was gonna leave, and she'd still be stuck standing here. We're standing parallel now and after seeing Google Maps, I led her to the bus stop.
We sat down on a tiny bench at the bus stop. I said that I'm sure that she had a lot of fun today. She agreed. I tried putting my hand on her thigh, but she moved my hand away, again. At a diagonal from us was a blonde black girl in a fancy olive dress. She's about to cross over to our street. She thought that the girl was really pretty and exactly my type. I said she had a nice dress, but she's not for me cuz she looked too wild and I liked the more tamer ones (I used the same formula at the restaurant to disqualify girls that were too different than the one in front of me). She doubled down and said the blonde black girl was the perfect fit for me. I'm like she's too wild, and I won't be able to handle her. She laughed. She checked on Google Maps, and unfortunately her bus got delayed by 10 mins or something. I pointed out that our "friends," the 3 blonde girls from the restaurants were walking by behind us. They just got ice cream. She said I should get going. Don't remember what I said here, but eventually she let me put my hand on her thigh, and I wrapped my other arm around her as a mini goodbye hug. I crossed the street diagonally, even without the walking sign on, and disappeared from her view.
Bonus: post-date texting (featuring simp daddy)
After the date on Sunday, I didn't text her until Tuesday. She's been responding very quickly, we're teasing each other, and everything has been looking good. Unfortunately, she's not free to meet in the near term due to midterms.
She mentioned she met a guy in one of her classes, and this guy chose the class after noticing that she's taking it from a group chat. Apparently, this guy just graduated from high school in China (18 yo) and is like a wimpy little bro to her. He wanted to hang out with her 2x a week forward after class to grab food and go study in the library, even proposing to meet on the weekends. She shot down the weekend suggestion with the excuse that she had to chill with her roommates. She screenshotted me some of his texts, and he's one of the biggest simps out there. See for yourself:
She found all of that funny at first. Today, we texted, and she provided me an update on simp daddy. Apparently, they got food and studied at the library yesterday, and the guy kept calling her pretty. This made her feel really embarrassed. So he chose to come to this school for the summer exchange program because of her and asked if she wanted to study in the UK with him in the future. He stated that he wanted to marry her too... She felt that he was really weird
Comments, questions, or concerns on how to proceed greatly appreciated
