- Joined
- Apr 2, 2018
- Messages
- 490
So today I met up with this girl from work who liked me a lot and she was from the very first post that I posted. We met at Dave and Busters which I know most guys from here probably wouldn't do for a first date,but I really thought it would be ok since this girl is from a social circle and enough time has passed and I know her quite a bit. She liked the idea of going there. I wasn't planning on going all out since I phrased this outing as a hangout and not a date so I dont think she had the expectation that I would pay for everything. I wasn't really going for sex today since logistically I didn't think it was gonna happen so I thought why not try the slow bf route and at least kiss her. My plan was to have food have some chit chat,play some games and then come back to the bar and either kiss her there or at the very end before we seperate.
From the getgo I was already feeling nervous even though this was a girl who actually liked me more than I liked her because I was questioning how attractive I found her. She asked me if I was nervous and I said no,but then I admitted I was a little bit and tried to play it off. It's interesting because I think chase said that girls are really good at reading body language and emotions and this girl could tell I was feeling somewhat timid. Then we had lunch and just talked about our lives growing up in school, interests in music and food and some other general stuff. I didn't really bring up any sexual topics because I thought it would be better to save that for when we were closer to each other at the bar. I wasn't very smooth with conversation throughout our interaction and I wasn't calibrated either. We went to the arcade to play some games and we were moving around just trying to find something to play. We didn't have any deep conversations as we were walking around. I tried to be physically close to her and brush my arm against hers as we were moving around. I didn't take her hand throughout the entire arcade like a couple would. I paid for the tickets and told her we would share the game card. It was $26.
Then afterwards we went to the bar and had one drink each. We chatted a little more there and talked. We talked about relationships and virginity and I basically bullshitted and told her I wasn't a virgin and made up a story that I never had a serious relationship,but I had a relationship last year and this girl broke up with me because she got bored of me. She said she was suprised I wasn't a virgin and thought I looked like one which i'm pretty sure is not something to be flattered about even though she said it would've been cute. We had one drink each and it only came out to $15 and she offered to pay for it so I let her.
Then we walked out and left and I held her hand in mine . Then when we got near her train it was already there and she rushed to get on it and I didn't have the opportunity to end the date with a kiss. All we said was bye and thats it. The same mistake that I made with the only other girl that I had been on a date with I made it again. Didn't kiss her at the bar because I was indecisive,unsure of myself, didn't know what to do wouldn't pull the trigger and by the time it was time to go to go home it was too late.I didn't feel that depressed about it,but I felt pretty stupid. Like damn I made the same mistake I did with the other girl from work who has now lost attraction for me. I feel like I can't really make up for what already happened with this girl I just went out with and probably should move on from her.
My takeways from today are that:
Idk how to be calibrated
Not smooth in my conversations or physical interactions
hesitant to make a move
Always wanna play it safe and not do anything that feels risky like initiating a kiss or talking about sex.
Display timid, uncomfortable mannerisms throughout our date and had her ask me if I was ok.
Dating and courting just feels so unnatural for a guy like me and i'm doubtful if this is something that I can really improve on. I hope that my issues are a matter of inexperience and can be fixed. Getting dates from cold approaching is so much harder than dating girls in your social circle and it's hard for me to foresee getting better at dating from doing cold approaching if I can't even do social circle right.
From the getgo I was already feeling nervous even though this was a girl who actually liked me more than I liked her because I was questioning how attractive I found her. She asked me if I was nervous and I said no,but then I admitted I was a little bit and tried to play it off. It's interesting because I think chase said that girls are really good at reading body language and emotions and this girl could tell I was feeling somewhat timid. Then we had lunch and just talked about our lives growing up in school, interests in music and food and some other general stuff. I didn't really bring up any sexual topics because I thought it would be better to save that for when we were closer to each other at the bar. I wasn't very smooth with conversation throughout our interaction and I wasn't calibrated either. We went to the arcade to play some games and we were moving around just trying to find something to play. We didn't have any deep conversations as we were walking around. I tried to be physically close to her and brush my arm against hers as we were moving around. I didn't take her hand throughout the entire arcade like a couple would. I paid for the tickets and told her we would share the game card. It was $26.
Then afterwards we went to the bar and had one drink each. We chatted a little more there and talked. We talked about relationships and virginity and I basically bullshitted and told her I wasn't a virgin and made up a story that I never had a serious relationship,but I had a relationship last year and this girl broke up with me because she got bored of me. She said she was suprised I wasn't a virgin and thought I looked like one which i'm pretty sure is not something to be flattered about even though she said it would've been cute. We had one drink each and it only came out to $15 and she offered to pay for it so I let her.
Then we walked out and left and I held her hand in mine . Then when we got near her train it was already there and she rushed to get on it and I didn't have the opportunity to end the date with a kiss. All we said was bye and thats it. The same mistake that I made with the only other girl that I had been on a date with I made it again. Didn't kiss her at the bar because I was indecisive,unsure of myself, didn't know what to do wouldn't pull the trigger and by the time it was time to go to go home it was too late.I didn't feel that depressed about it,but I felt pretty stupid. Like damn I made the same mistake I did with the other girl from work who has now lost attraction for me. I feel like I can't really make up for what already happened with this girl I just went out with and probably should move on from her.
My takeways from today are that:
Idk how to be calibrated
Not smooth in my conversations or physical interactions
hesitant to make a move
Always wanna play it safe and not do anything that feels risky like initiating a kiss or talking about sex.
Display timid, uncomfortable mannerisms throughout our date and had her ask me if I was ok.
Dating and courting just feels so unnatural for a guy like me and i'm doubtful if this is something that I can really improve on. I hope that my issues are a matter of inexperience and can be fixed. Getting dates from cold approaching is so much harder than dating girls in your social circle and it's hard for me to foresee getting better at dating from doing cold approaching if I can't even do social circle right.
