Date with Bad Logistics Soon!

[Black]

Here's the situation:

- Met her online, spoke on-and-off for a quite while but not necessarily platonic (seems quite "open" actually)
- lives with a girl-friend during the work-week, spends every weekend with a relative very far
- implied she cannot see me after work, this is very strange as the logistics would be much better near her place (hiding something?)
- even during the weekend her time is quite constrained, so we are meeting from 1 to 4pm at a mall near my place
- and is going to travel 50 minutes forth and 50 minutes backs to see me

- the mall might at least have one nice coffee shop, expensive but not crowded
- we are at 20/30 min. walk from my campus
- the chance i can sneak her into my room is small but there's a love hotel by the entrance

- is in her late 20s but likes animes and phone videogames; it's what she's up to at night whenever we speak (or so she says)
- her time constraint might be a blessing in disguise, as I can arrange something else that night (5 other girls to ask out from online gaming alone)
- I told her "well, there's not much to see here. . . just this mall and my campus"

__

So. . . one path would be a just a quick date just for her to see me; some girls from online began chasing me after they got to see me in person. Maybe after this she gets more comfortable to meet up with me near her place or maybe I can directly booty call her if she's chasing hard.

The other path would be to try to escale this and take her to the campus or love hotel, no social circle repercussions, her body seems quite hot (very curvy for an Asian girl). . . also for some reason she's willing to come all the way here. Would need some skill I probably don't have to pull this off within 3 hours including two 20 min walks. . . and in Chinese. bwahahahahaha

Any tips?

_________

P.S. A weird thing she said was "why are you dating me all of a sudden?" I just answered what was is basically the truth: "Before you didn't know me well enough, now you do".

 

[Whizzy]

Two main roads I would try here, the first is one that you already mentioned:

1) Do a quick "comfort" date and end things relatively quickly but try to get her out again quickly if things go well to speed up the process.

2) This is a bit trickier to pull off, but I have managed to do it before. Get her to be really comfortable with you quickly and go for either car or public (think changing room) sex. Due to the time of day you guys are meeting I would probably go with the changing room over the car as you two are more than likely to get caught. If you manage to pull this off, then it will be something she is not likely to forget. Just keep in mind that depending on your skill level, this can be a huge gamble...but can also have a huge pay off too

 

[Black]

OK!

- Logistics out the window as she got lost on the way and we had to meet up elsewhere.
- Nice detail, she went ahead and paid for my latte.
- Turns out she's very anxious/fidgety.
- She's addicted to phone video games. As soon as we sat she whiped out her phone (partly to show me) and I had to gradually talk her out of it. Then towards the end she brought up the subject of games and how is that I didn't play (once again).
- She was self-conscious about having gained a few pounds so she wore this huge coat all the time and never took it off. . . but underneath she had a nice short dress. . . and I think I saw stockings (???).
- Body language: I sat beside her and she remained parallel to me all along in a somewhat rigid pose. It's very hard to escalate in a public venue in the middle of the day here. . . I couldn't help leaning in a bit for most of the time; mostly to hear well what she was saying. This said, I didn't feel any strong walls except the fact that we were in public.
- It was very hard to drive the conversation to sexy/romantic/fun topics; she kept going back to discussing society, family, economics, culture (I guess showing me how smart she is). She told me quite a bit about herself too.
- She went ahead and made a comment about next time (don't remember what; If it had been something sexual I certainly would. . . )

Immediately after she got in the bus for her 50 min. ride back home, I got back to her on chat with some excuse and upped the voltage of the conversation; just to set a precedent. She's reacting "ok" so far - but the difficulty is that she tends to go back to rational mode; for example interpreting flirting/bantering attempts literally. No big deal with anything so far. . .
Now that she's seen me I want to up the sex talk to the point where I could basically booty-call her or close to that level.

Any ideas. . . in general?

 

[Whizzy]

Can you put up a few bits of the text conversation since she went back home? Would definitely help to see how you are talking to her and how she is reacting

 

[Black]

Ah. . . it was quite lame actually.

I had noticed some hesitation on her part when we said goodbye so - on chat - I brought up our different greeting methods and how where I'm from even guys can kiss in the cheek.

This led to me telling her about some drinking games and how some local girls wanted me to French kiss another guy.
This got her curious.
I said "no, I eventually didn't" and she said something like "aww. . . disappointed ".
This is the only interesting part cause I could have deep dived her about likes and dislikes but instead I was lame too and let it go like this:

"Girls here are really mean to foreigners haha"
"Those girls wanted to bully you! "
". . . don't you bully me eh "
"Of course not, you saw I'm a very good girl!"
"Well, I'm still not sure. . . "
"What are you not sure about?!"
"The true nature of your character. . . "
*Asks me some ultra-deep psychological-cultural question that totally kicks the ball out of the field*
"Hey, I was just teasing you! come on! "
"Do you like travelling?" *we already spoke about this - also she's changing her pick all the time to show me how she looked when she was a 5kg thinner"
"Hey! again changed your pic! what's up? "
*we go back to some pic conversation we had before, I tell her her sexiest pic is some other she had recently, etc, etc"
blah blah teh end

. . .at least i got a free latte!

 

[ray_zorse]

Had me at stockings

She was probably a bit nervous. As well as being overly intellectual... I think the right approach here would be a bit of light teasing to make her (a) laugh, releasing nervous tension and (b) not take herself so seriously... example

Her: so I was reading a history of the blah blah by blah blah, he really breaks it down into the overriding cultural themes
You: themes... oh you mean like Mickey Mouse theme, Spongebob Squarepants theme and that, what u can download on your phone? (laughing)
Her: don't be silly I am trying to talk with you
You: okay you're quite the intellectual aren't you, I like that, do u think maybe you could teach me to program my VCR? (she might not be old enough to get this joke, but whatever)
Her: no but really, I was trying to say the cultural analysis is really spot on
You: oh okay usually I don't analyze the yoghurt that I eat but I'm pretty sure it's lactobacillus culture
Her: it's impossible to have a discussion with you!
You: oh yeah sometimes you have to tie me up to get my attention
Her: I'm not tying you up!
You: haha yeah that's what they all say... and then when you're not looking... my mother warned me about women like you!
Her: I was just trying to talk with you about an interesting book
You: (ignoring this) all sweet and intellectual on the surface... but when the sun goes down... look out! (I think I got this from Casanova's journal perhaps, if I'm crediting wrongly then I apologize)
Her: (starts to laugh) whatever...
You: Yeah so anyway blah blah (change the topic)

etc... basically don't let her lead the conversation where you don't want it to go, pick something she said and thread cut, and if she turns it into a frame battle don't back down.

I should add I can only really do this when my vibe is high.

-Ray

 

[Whizzy]

Far to many facial emotes, you used one in about every text and she only used it once. Besides that I would wager that she loves attention, as many girls who change their pictures on social media often are. What was your goal out of this text conversation? It seemed as though you were trying to talk to her just to maintain a conversation but not move anywhere in particular with it so long as the conversation continued. Generally if you don't have a goal while texting, at least at first, I would try to avoid excess text usage towards girls you are interested in.

 

[Black]

While the above is not 100% accurate - it's off the top of my head and translated - it's true I over-invest with smileys.
Even these being ambiguous and non-conventional "smileys" that I use for my own amusement, I notice I could cut down a lot of this. . .
I'm probably being too much of a circus clown. . .

The picture. . . she was just changing it during our conversation because the subject of her looks had come up then and before; otherwise she just sticks to some cartoon for days.
In this sense she's quite good. . . like 10 to 20 social media updates over many months; only a few selfies. A lot of girls here are over 1 / day.

I was trying to set a precedent with the whole drinking games and kisses thing. . . but, meh. . .

She's just too far away and I haven't cared to speak to her ever since - too much work; I think I'm gonna continue trying with girls that live closer. . .

A free latte, I guess. . .