- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
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Hey guys,
This is an FR that took place last Thursday. It's with a girl I met off of Tinder, not ideal but an interaction nonetheless. Hoping you guys can pick it apart for me so I can determine what i need to work on and what I'm doing well.
It began like so:
I figure after this that I probably wont hear from her, and get back to my work.
Lo and behold though, a few hours later, I receive a message from her...
On Sunday I get bored and figure I''ll try my luck with all new chicks I have numbers of, from both Tinder and New Years. Here's the interaction with Maggie:
Cool so no pic, but I got a date scheduled. My intent behind asking for a pic was just to push my own comfort zone and see what I could get away with. I'm not calibrated at the moment, so my goal is to find calibration by experimenting across reasonable extremes.
The Date
Logistics & Intent: At the moment my logistics are totally shot. I live in a quiet suburb about an hour by train from the city, where this girl lives and our date is scheduled. I'm aware this highly affects my rate of success and has been my main barrier in seduction over the years, and so I'm putting in alot of work with the goal to move to the city this year.
My goal with this date was again to push my boundaries, get into the groove of dating again, and practise my deepdiving.
The date is scheduled to be at a cute little tea and dessert lounge I found on yelp.com, a moments walk from the main subway line. In images on the app it had tables with comfy couches which I felt made for a more intimate date.
I've realized that seeing all my interactions with girls as an experiment really calms things down for me in my head. I relax, observe and test with coolness, and I dont take bumps in the interaction personally. I just take note and bale forward. I find I'm excited by new, challenging experiences especially when they push into the realm of the bizarre (makes me feel alive!).
I head downtown a few hours early to get a haircut and stroll around the city for a bit.
I've had three tinder dates before her, all in the city, all similar logistics, and I've noticed that "blind" dates such as this got me nervous in the past and made the first five minutes of meeting a girl extremely awkward.
I decided while browsing a store, that I would not be nervous this time around. I was going to relax, maintain my usual chilled out non-chalant vibe and take in the situation, whatever may happen.
One thought I've been having that's helped alleviate any approach anxiety or date nerves I might have (this might help some of the guys on here) is this:
- as a child, when being scared of bugs and spiders my mother would always tell me that they're probably more afraid of me than I of them.
I've realized the same holds true with women. They are most likely way more afraid of me (nervous) than I am them, especially if I carry myself confidently. This thought alone causes me to chill and accept a confident relaxed vibe, one of directedness... and upon meeting Maggie on this date this thought was confirmed. (Remembering this also helps me empathise with the girl and helps me get her to relax around me).
The Meetup
I'm strolling through the mall on the way to the subway. I'm hanging around a little so as to be about ten minutes late - I like to be the later party.
I head over to the street the tea shop is on but I'm having trouble finding it.
Maggie calls me and as I'm asking where she is, I bump into a girl with green hair who is also on the phone. It's her.
We get acquainted, and we find out that we both can't find the place. We go to find it and while doing so, noticing my accent, she asks where I'm from. I have her guess as we find the shop, not too far from where we met and enter.
I choose seating at one of the cosy couch and table arrangements and set my stuff down on an extra chair. She sits on the couch and I excuse myself to go to the washroom. This initial washroom break is something I use to relieve the pressure, let the girl settle in, give me some bearings and not seem overly eager and needy.
I return and take a seat. We make small talk.
She reengages me on the subject of where I come from, so I give her a few clues. She doesn't take till I mention Harry Potter, and then she figures I come from England (correct!). She pries into my ethnic background and I tell her I'm Jamaican.
I switch the convo onto her, and this leads onto some talk about her family, where she's from and how she moved to the city from a small town.
We order our drinks and I deep dive her further on family and her interests. This girl is visibly nervous and/or excited. She's constantly giggling and looking away as we talk. I myself am sprawled out on the couch, very relaxed visibly and in state. She mentions this several times throughout the night.
Over the conversation I learn she has a cat, is into the occult/spiritualism and has a long family history with it, moved from a small town (she has an interesting ass family), dyes her hair often, doesn't party a lot (now), & wants to move to Scotland.
She's chatting with me with a level of comfort as if we're good friends. Her body language isn't very open, though not fully closed. Hands at her thighs, thighs closed and body facing forwards. She's always smiling though. Often looking at me giggling and looking away. She also always makes apologies for her giggling and the fact that she is weird, which I always assure her that it's fine.
Overall the conversation is a little too platonic for my tastes. I remove the pillows between us and tell her to sit closer, which she does and to add a little sexuality I ask her about her tattoos and touch them as I do this.
She's also wearing some cool faux leather pants with small studs on them and I take the opportunity to feel the studs (and by extention touch her thighs) while I ask her where she bought them and tell her how cool they are. She doesn't pull away or object to my touch at all while I do this, always smiling, giggling and talking.
We get to talking about movies and she tells me some tv shows she's really into. I don't watch tv so I get her to elaborate on them, and I figure I'll use this as a seed to bounce back to her place. Her logistics are roughly 10 mins subway ride from us.
Overall I have the ratio of the convo running 65:35, her:me.
At about the hour and 15 mark I suggest we bounce. We get our bills, pay and head out.
She gets the feeling our night together is ending, as that is we're she leads the convo. I suggest we go back to her place and she show me the tv shows she mentioned, but she misunderstands me thinking I'm asking her if she plans to watch tv when she goes home.
I let her finish then restate what I said. She replies that she doesn't let guys come over the first night of meeting them. Fair enough.
I begin to stall and start heading for warmth, in a mall that is still open. She asks if I'm heading to the subway and I reply that I am.
She says we passed the subway entrance. I say ahh ok (as if I didn't know; in potentially awkward situations I act absent minded and oblivious. The alternative is embarassment and emotionally caving to the situation which I know will only sink the ship - don't make the awkwardness real!).
She follows me into the subway and is about to cross the barrier to go home when I suggest we go grab a beer since the night is young.
She asks where and I tell her I'm not sure but I'll find somewhere. I search google maps for the nearest pubs, find a pub a five minute walk away and we head for it.
On the way we get to talking abput how we spent the holidays and as I probe she hesitantly tells me how in her recent past she used to do a lot of blow (coke) and she's taking a break from partying, because she used to do far too much. She's a very spontaneous, carefree girl it seems, a lot of fun, but not a wifey, which is fine with me as i'm not in the market for anything long term or monogamous. What's interesting about our interaction is a certain pattern repeated throughout the night where I'll deep dive her, she'll let something slip that seems interesting (ie. she parties hard but is regretting it) I'll inquire further and she'll hesitantly let me in on the fact that she does coke, or some other thing where she fears judgement, which I'll nonchalantly be fine with (meh, aint my wife) and then the pattern will repeat with her revealing more and more over the course of the night.
The Pub
We enter the pub and I select a cosy bench arrangement to sit at.
Maggie's keeping her distance at first (I attribute this to an awkward transition) but so get her talking again and it's fine.
She tells me about her family past and what she would ideally do in life, and we connect on being rebels who get bored easily and want to disappear and be seperate from stale regular life. Interestingly, she mentions wanting to be a hermit and going off to farm somewhere. We talk about travel and where and why we want to go.
The conversation shifts to religion and I mention how I used to get in fights at church when younger. She presses me with concern in her voice, but I assure her they started it
and I only physically scuffled once, though I did get kicked out of Sunday school regularly.
Overall though the conversation isn't sexual enough for me so out of the blue I hit her with a "so what are you like sexually?". I said this nonchalantly half distracted with my cider.
She's taken aback understandably, laughing, shocked but not disgusted, stumbling for words. I look at her as if I'd asked her about her taste in music. She's gasping for words but I don't help her - subtext: it really ain't a big deal.
So with her head bowed nervously she says "well I'm bi.." (I knew it). You can tell she expects me to judge her. I just say "Okay" shrug, and keep the convo going. My response visibly relaxes her and she tells me she's over women at the moment. I half joke that it's cool she can be with women, get bored and switch to men and vice versa, and unfortunately as a straight man I don't have that luxury, I'm stuck with women.
She asks me what I like and I simply reply "women I really like women", with emphasis.
I get her talking about everything - her hometown, her ethnic background, her siblings, parents. The ratio's about 70:30.
At one point she lets off a minor shit test: something comes up and she says she's "just gunna get up and leave right now", but in a flaky, bad joke, and so I just shrug and say "okay". She's like "ooo what?! Haha" all surprised, I'm like "no offence to you but if you feel the need to dip, do you" lol like wtf was she expecting me to say?
Further into our conversation, she mentions her hatred for white spirits ie. White rum and vodka and love for dark. I segue this into an innuendo (she's a white girl, I'm black..) by saying "let me guess chocolate over vanilla?". The intonation in my voice suggests I mean something a lil more. She says yes she hates vanilla and loves chocolate with her voice intonation matching mine, suggesting she gets what I'm 'saying' and returns the question, I simply reply "vanilla, vanilla all the way". The slight giggle she lets off tells me she got it.
At some point the coersation comes back to tattoos. I deep dive her on her many tattoos and their meanings, tracing my fingers along those on her arm as I inspect them. She asks me if I have any tattoos, which I don't. I told her that I've considered getting some, but if i do get tattoed they'd have to be highly symbolic, that for me I'd want them to serve as psychic anchors so that if ever I'm in a dark place I can look at them and have them remind me of who I aspire to be, the mindsets I know I should be cultivating - she's nodding - how I want them to be narrative and read like a story book, so that when my intimates look at me they can see where I've been and read me like one of their fairytale books.. The look on her face changes completely, yearning..but she's also feisty and replies something like "wow, ten points!" but not in a condescending way, more in a "you really connected with me there" kinda way. I laugh off the ten points thing, and the conversation moves on.
At another point I remember her mentioning how I seem so calm and collected, how she's all over the place but I seem to consider everything before I say it. I laugh at this and say "I wish it were true I'm not sure I actually do think before I talk it probably just seems that way".
Shit test number 2:
I go to the washroom and return. Maggie's smiling ear to ear as I walk up.
She says, "you think really hard about the way you walk don't you?" (The reality is I don't anymore. But In the past I did spend a while tweaking my initial walk).
I chose to play dumb here and turn it back on her.With an emotionless face I say:
"nah, does it look like I think a lot about it?"
She doubles back, and says "it's cool it's got swagger".
I smile and say "nah, it's probably just due to my bow legs"
her: "no..!" there's a gasp and subtle look of horror on her face as she looks at my legs under the table real quick (my legs are only slightly bowed it's easy to miss but does contribute to my swaggered gait)
her: "you've got swag, it's cute...I used to think a lot about how I walked but I always ended up doing a stupid shuffle" lol.
I say: "well I can always do a stupid shuffle If that makes you more comfortable" said sarcastically.
Her: "nah it's cool my bad I'm just being an asshole, I'm sorry, I'm an asshole. Don't mind me" Lol
me: "it's all good I am too" devilish smile.
Maybe I need to review and tweak my walk to look more effortless hmmm...
We finish our drinks, she suggests we dip. I oblige and re-suggest a movie at her place. She still won't budge on this matter and says that she planned before the date not to let me come over. As we put on our coats I play as though she suggested we run out on the tab (which I'm all down for). She asks if I've done that before. I say "no.." She catches it and says "you're lying aren't you?"
We go to pay, seperate bills. I pay. Her card gets declined.. She goes for change. No money... I end up paying as she kept acting embarrassed and saying she felt bad. I was adamant about paying but didn't kick up a fuss just had raised eyebrows (I'm testing her - men can shit test too - I've never been in this situation and want to see how it plays out if I put pressure on her).
She's saying sorry left and right, how she never planned to do it she swears and takes my email so she can wire me the money (she never did though). I say it's all good really and she says no it's not all good - I'm chuckling inside but don't let on, this is hilarious - earlier she mentioned how she likes how I don't pay for her tab and how she doesn't even let guys hold doors open for her (independent woman).
We roll out of the pub and she's fretting to herself behind me, though I sense it's all for show.
As we walk I make small talk about her work and then ask where the subway station is. She asks what I'm doing for the night and I say I'm headed to her place, mischievously. She says I'm very persistent and so I roll out a pseudo yes ladder on her -
"well I figure we continue the night as I'm sure you're enjoying my company, no?"(probably should have said "right?", bad habit)
*she nods*
"I'm enjoying yours so why end it now? We both obviously enjoy each others company"
her: "but there's always other days (sheepishly)"
Me: "you're right there are other days, but as I've learned, life can get in the way. I figure when you're enjoying another's company and you have the opportunity to continue it, you should take it right there.." I sorta fumbled but the message got across
*silence*
I won't answer first as I figure first 'man' talks loses.
She talks first but on some irrelevant shit, so I just change the subject..
We get to the subway, ready to split our seperate ways.
She's hesitant and I'm dead set on following her home (her home is northbound, mine south).
She asks where I'm going and says "your not coming with me".
She goes to hug me, we hug and crotch to crotch my legs spread, I waddle with her towards the northbound platform.
Flirtatiously she says "noooo [giggling] what are you doing?".
We get to the stairwell interrupted by people walking and then seeing as she won't give in and not wanting to push further (now I reckon I should've), I hugged her.
She looked as though she wanted to kiss, all puppy eyed and thirsty and so I grab her chin and we kiss. She does so eagerly and tries to tongue.
I kiss her closed mouth however, deep but brief, pull way look into her eyes and say "see you later".
I turn and head for my platform.
She says "byyee" behind me.
Next Day Text
The next afternoon I text her to see about a second day:
To Conclude..
"Next week" will be here tomorrow. I'm thinking to leave it till Wednesday, then if I don't hear from her then I'll shoot her a text to see about a second meet. What do you guys suggest?
My apologies for this great wall of an FR. I'm just putting out as much detail as I can remember with the hopes that I can iron out the kinks in my natural behaviour that are hurting my seductions.
I'd definitely appreciate it if all interested could pull this apart and give me some constructive criticism, especially in what I could've done to go home with her.
I personally think I should have just hopped on the train with her home, all in the name of good fun or tried to escalate in some warm, private, public place.
Much respect,
Topcat
This is an FR that took place last Thursday. It's with a girl I met off of Tinder, not ideal but an interaction nonetheless. Hoping you guys can pick it apart for me so I can determine what i need to work on and what I'm doing well.
It began like so:
me: Hey Maggie
"Maggie": Hey haha only been on it for a few days now haha i was thinking of deleting it today, today's swipes might be my last hahaha how about you?
me:
Maggie: Too many people with mutual friends hahaha started for fun now it's getting weird plus most people on here are boring anyway hahaha only went on one date last night and it was so lame my eyes and ears were ready to bleed out bahahaha plus I'm chattin', no hookups lol so it's pretty pointless to me
me: Lol I feel ya
Maggie: Hahaha that's what people are sayin' and I have to ask you...is the second pic even you? Bahahaha (she's referring to a pic a photographer friend took of me couple years back. I'm facing the camera shirtless, gun fingers pointed at the camera and flexing. I look like 50 cent in it. It doesn't suit the vibe I'm going for, too overtly menacing, but I'm experimenting with Tinder so I'm seeing what works and what don't..)
me: Lol nice try Missy, you're not gunna get a racy pic out of me that easily
Maggie: ???? I was going to say I rather the first one hahaha that's what got me
Me: Awww thanks
I figure after this that I probably wont hear from her, and get back to my work.
Lo and behold though, a few hours later, I receive a message from her...
Maggie: hii sorry that took forever
Me: And who might this be?
Maggie: Hahaha green hair (her tinder profile stated that she had green hair but I pretended not to have read it)
Me: Lol and does this green headed person have a name?
Maggie: Bahahahaha Maggie
Me: From tinder yeh. How are you
Maggie: Ahahaha i'm good
Me: Nice
Maggie: Bahahaha i'm gonna passout but i'll ttyl! Sorry! Gnight!
Me: Night
On Sunday I get bored and figure I''ll try my luck with all new chicks I have numbers of, from both Tinder and New Years. Here's the interaction with Maggie:
Me: Hey you
Maggie: Hey
Me: How's it going?
Monday:
Maggie: Sorry! Good, how about you? Haha
Me: Pretty good, long day ahead
Maggie: Oh noo haha how come? Just work, my sister is moving to another province
today her flight was going to be cancelled and she would be stuck in T.O. so i was like sick
i would have had three days with her butttttttttt she justtttt told me it's back on :'( haha
so nothing sadly
Me: Had alotta work to do lol. Aww that's unfortunate. We should grab a coffee this week
Maggie: I'm down, any day in mind?
Me: Wicked. What's your schedule lookin like?
Maggie: Days or nights better?
Me: Nights
Maggie: What about thurs? I'm done work at 6:15
Me: Yeah Thursday's good. What part of TO are you in?
Maggie: Uptown but i can meet you anywhere lol
Me: Dope alright i'll hit you up closer to Thursday as to where.
You prefer coffee or beer?
Maggie: Sounds good
Me: Cool, see ya Thursday! send me a pic
Maggie: Hahaha forget what i look like already?
Me: Lol nah
Maggie: Bahaha. I think i should get one first hahaha
Me: O you'll get one if you're good
Maggie: Bahahaha nahh
Cool so no pic, but I got a date scheduled. My intent behind asking for a pic was just to push my own comfort zone and see what I could get away with. I'm not calibrated at the moment, so my goal is to find calibration by experimenting across reasonable extremes.
The Date
Logistics & Intent: At the moment my logistics are totally shot. I live in a quiet suburb about an hour by train from the city, where this girl lives and our date is scheduled. I'm aware this highly affects my rate of success and has been my main barrier in seduction over the years, and so I'm putting in alot of work with the goal to move to the city this year.
My goal with this date was again to push my boundaries, get into the groove of dating again, and practise my deepdiving.
The date is scheduled to be at a cute little tea and dessert lounge I found on yelp.com, a moments walk from the main subway line. In images on the app it had tables with comfy couches which I felt made for a more intimate date.
I've realized that seeing all my interactions with girls as an experiment really calms things down for me in my head. I relax, observe and test with coolness, and I dont take bumps in the interaction personally. I just take note and bale forward. I find I'm excited by new, challenging experiences especially when they push into the realm of the bizarre (makes me feel alive!).
I head downtown a few hours early to get a haircut and stroll around the city for a bit.
I've had three tinder dates before her, all in the city, all similar logistics, and I've noticed that "blind" dates such as this got me nervous in the past and made the first five minutes of meeting a girl extremely awkward.
I decided while browsing a store, that I would not be nervous this time around. I was going to relax, maintain my usual chilled out non-chalant vibe and take in the situation, whatever may happen.
One thought I've been having that's helped alleviate any approach anxiety or date nerves I might have (this might help some of the guys on here) is this:
- as a child, when being scared of bugs and spiders my mother would always tell me that they're probably more afraid of me than I of them.
I've realized the same holds true with women. They are most likely way more afraid of me (nervous) than I am them, especially if I carry myself confidently. This thought alone causes me to chill and accept a confident relaxed vibe, one of directedness... and upon meeting Maggie on this date this thought was confirmed. (Remembering this also helps me empathise with the girl and helps me get her to relax around me).
The Meetup
I'm strolling through the mall on the way to the subway. I'm hanging around a little so as to be about ten minutes late - I like to be the later party.
I head over to the street the tea shop is on but I'm having trouble finding it.
Maggie calls me and as I'm asking where she is, I bump into a girl with green hair who is also on the phone. It's her.
We get acquainted, and we find out that we both can't find the place. We go to find it and while doing so, noticing my accent, she asks where I'm from. I have her guess as we find the shop, not too far from where we met and enter.
I choose seating at one of the cosy couch and table arrangements and set my stuff down on an extra chair. She sits on the couch and I excuse myself to go to the washroom. This initial washroom break is something I use to relieve the pressure, let the girl settle in, give me some bearings and not seem overly eager and needy.
I return and take a seat. We make small talk.
She reengages me on the subject of where I come from, so I give her a few clues. She doesn't take till I mention Harry Potter, and then she figures I come from England (correct!). She pries into my ethnic background and I tell her I'm Jamaican.
I switch the convo onto her, and this leads onto some talk about her family, where she's from and how she moved to the city from a small town.
We order our drinks and I deep dive her further on family and her interests. This girl is visibly nervous and/or excited. She's constantly giggling and looking away as we talk. I myself am sprawled out on the couch, very relaxed visibly and in state. She mentions this several times throughout the night.
Over the conversation I learn she has a cat, is into the occult/spiritualism and has a long family history with it, moved from a small town (she has an interesting ass family), dyes her hair often, doesn't party a lot (now), & wants to move to Scotland.
She's chatting with me with a level of comfort as if we're good friends. Her body language isn't very open, though not fully closed. Hands at her thighs, thighs closed and body facing forwards. She's always smiling though. Often looking at me giggling and looking away. She also always makes apologies for her giggling and the fact that she is weird, which I always assure her that it's fine.
Overall the conversation is a little too platonic for my tastes. I remove the pillows between us and tell her to sit closer, which she does and to add a little sexuality I ask her about her tattoos and touch them as I do this.
She's also wearing some cool faux leather pants with small studs on them and I take the opportunity to feel the studs (and by extention touch her thighs) while I ask her where she bought them and tell her how cool they are. She doesn't pull away or object to my touch at all while I do this, always smiling, giggling and talking.
We get to talking about movies and she tells me some tv shows she's really into. I don't watch tv so I get her to elaborate on them, and I figure I'll use this as a seed to bounce back to her place. Her logistics are roughly 10 mins subway ride from us.
Overall I have the ratio of the convo running 65:35, her:me.
At about the hour and 15 mark I suggest we bounce. We get our bills, pay and head out.
She gets the feeling our night together is ending, as that is we're she leads the convo. I suggest we go back to her place and she show me the tv shows she mentioned, but she misunderstands me thinking I'm asking her if she plans to watch tv when she goes home.
I let her finish then restate what I said. She replies that she doesn't let guys come over the first night of meeting them. Fair enough.
I begin to stall and start heading for warmth, in a mall that is still open. She asks if I'm heading to the subway and I reply that I am.
She says we passed the subway entrance. I say ahh ok (as if I didn't know; in potentially awkward situations I act absent minded and oblivious. The alternative is embarassment and emotionally caving to the situation which I know will only sink the ship - don't make the awkwardness real!).
She follows me into the subway and is about to cross the barrier to go home when I suggest we go grab a beer since the night is young.
She asks where and I tell her I'm not sure but I'll find somewhere. I search google maps for the nearest pubs, find a pub a five minute walk away and we head for it.
On the way we get to talking abput how we spent the holidays and as I probe she hesitantly tells me how in her recent past she used to do a lot of blow (coke) and she's taking a break from partying, because she used to do far too much. She's a very spontaneous, carefree girl it seems, a lot of fun, but not a wifey, which is fine with me as i'm not in the market for anything long term or monogamous. What's interesting about our interaction is a certain pattern repeated throughout the night where I'll deep dive her, she'll let something slip that seems interesting (ie. she parties hard but is regretting it) I'll inquire further and she'll hesitantly let me in on the fact that she does coke, or some other thing where she fears judgement, which I'll nonchalantly be fine with (meh, aint my wife) and then the pattern will repeat with her revealing more and more over the course of the night.
The Pub
We enter the pub and I select a cosy bench arrangement to sit at.
Maggie's keeping her distance at first (I attribute this to an awkward transition) but so get her talking again and it's fine.
She tells me about her family past and what she would ideally do in life, and we connect on being rebels who get bored easily and want to disappear and be seperate from stale regular life. Interestingly, she mentions wanting to be a hermit and going off to farm somewhere. We talk about travel and where and why we want to go.
The conversation shifts to religion and I mention how I used to get in fights at church when younger. She presses me with concern in her voice, but I assure her they started it
and I only physically scuffled once, though I did get kicked out of Sunday school regularly.Overall though the conversation isn't sexual enough for me so out of the blue I hit her with a "so what are you like sexually?". I said this nonchalantly half distracted with my cider.
She's taken aback understandably, laughing, shocked but not disgusted, stumbling for words. I look at her as if I'd asked her about her taste in music. She's gasping for words but I don't help her - subtext: it really ain't a big deal.
So with her head bowed nervously she says "well I'm bi.." (I knew it). You can tell she expects me to judge her. I just say "Okay" shrug, and keep the convo going. My response visibly relaxes her and she tells me she's over women at the moment. I half joke that it's cool she can be with women, get bored and switch to men and vice versa, and unfortunately as a straight man I don't have that luxury, I'm stuck with women.
She asks me what I like and I simply reply "women I really like women", with emphasis.
I get her talking about everything - her hometown, her ethnic background, her siblings, parents. The ratio's about 70:30.
At one point she lets off a minor shit test: something comes up and she says she's "just gunna get up and leave right now", but in a flaky, bad joke, and so I just shrug and say "okay". She's like "ooo what?! Haha" all surprised, I'm like "no offence to you but if you feel the need to dip, do you" lol like wtf was she expecting me to say?
Further into our conversation, she mentions her hatred for white spirits ie. White rum and vodka and love for dark. I segue this into an innuendo (she's a white girl, I'm black..) by saying "let me guess chocolate over vanilla?". The intonation in my voice suggests I mean something a lil more. She says yes she hates vanilla and loves chocolate with her voice intonation matching mine, suggesting she gets what I'm 'saying' and returns the question, I simply reply "vanilla, vanilla all the way". The slight giggle she lets off tells me she got it.
At some point the coersation comes back to tattoos. I deep dive her on her many tattoos and their meanings, tracing my fingers along those on her arm as I inspect them. She asks me if I have any tattoos, which I don't. I told her that I've considered getting some, but if i do get tattoed they'd have to be highly symbolic, that for me I'd want them to serve as psychic anchors so that if ever I'm in a dark place I can look at them and have them remind me of who I aspire to be, the mindsets I know I should be cultivating - she's nodding - how I want them to be narrative and read like a story book, so that when my intimates look at me they can see where I've been and read me like one of their fairytale books.. The look on her face changes completely, yearning..but she's also feisty and replies something like "wow, ten points!" but not in a condescending way, more in a "you really connected with me there" kinda way. I laugh off the ten points thing, and the conversation moves on.
At another point I remember her mentioning how I seem so calm and collected, how she's all over the place but I seem to consider everything before I say it. I laugh at this and say "I wish it were true I'm not sure I actually do think before I talk it probably just seems that way".
Shit test number 2:
I go to the washroom and return. Maggie's smiling ear to ear as I walk up.
She says, "you think really hard about the way you walk don't you?" (The reality is I don't anymore. But In the past I did spend a while tweaking my initial walk).
I chose to play dumb here and turn it back on her.With an emotionless face I say:
"nah, does it look like I think a lot about it?"
She doubles back, and says "it's cool it's got swagger".
I smile and say "nah, it's probably just due to my bow legs"
her: "no..!" there's a gasp and subtle look of horror on her face as she looks at my legs under the table real quick (my legs are only slightly bowed it's easy to miss but does contribute to my swaggered gait)
her: "you've got swag, it's cute...I used to think a lot about how I walked but I always ended up doing a stupid shuffle" lol.
I say: "well I can always do a stupid shuffle If that makes you more comfortable" said sarcastically.
Her: "nah it's cool my bad I'm just being an asshole, I'm sorry, I'm an asshole. Don't mind me" Lol
me: "it's all good I am too" devilish smile.
Maybe I need to review and tweak my walk to look more effortless hmmm...
We finish our drinks, she suggests we dip. I oblige and re-suggest a movie at her place. She still won't budge on this matter and says that she planned before the date not to let me come over. As we put on our coats I play as though she suggested we run out on the tab (which I'm all down for). She asks if I've done that before. I say "no.." She catches it and says "you're lying aren't you?"
We go to pay, seperate bills. I pay. Her card gets declined.. She goes for change. No money... I end up paying as she kept acting embarrassed and saying she felt bad. I was adamant about paying but didn't kick up a fuss just had raised eyebrows (I'm testing her - men can shit test too
- I've never been in this situation and want to see how it plays out if I put pressure on her). She's saying sorry left and right, how she never planned to do it she swears and takes my email so she can wire me the money (she never did though). I say it's all good really and she says no it's not all good - I'm chuckling inside but don't let on, this is hilarious - earlier she mentioned how she likes how I don't pay for her tab and how she doesn't even let guys hold doors open for her (independent woman).
We roll out of the pub and she's fretting to herself behind me, though I sense it's all for show.
As we walk I make small talk about her work and then ask where the subway station is. She asks what I'm doing for the night and I say I'm headed to her place, mischievously. She says I'm very persistent and so I roll out a pseudo yes ladder on her -
"well I figure we continue the night as I'm sure you're enjoying my company, no?"(probably should have said "right?", bad habit)
*she nods*
"I'm enjoying yours so why end it now? We both obviously enjoy each others company"
her: "but there's always other days (sheepishly)"
Me: "you're right there are other days, but as I've learned, life can get in the way. I figure when you're enjoying another's company and you have the opportunity to continue it, you should take it right there.." I sorta fumbled but the message got across
*silence*
I won't answer first as I figure first 'man' talks loses.
She talks first but on some irrelevant shit, so I just change the subject..
We get to the subway, ready to split our seperate ways.
She's hesitant and I'm dead set on following her home (her home is northbound, mine south).
She asks where I'm going and says "your not coming with me".
She goes to hug me, we hug and crotch to crotch my legs spread, I waddle with her towards the northbound platform.
Flirtatiously she says "noooo [giggling] what are you doing?".
We get to the stairwell interrupted by people walking and then seeing as she won't give in and not wanting to push further (now I reckon I should've), I hugged her.
She looked as though she wanted to kiss, all puppy eyed and thirsty and so I grab her chin and we kiss. She does so eagerly and tries to tongue.
I kiss her closed mouth however, deep but brief, pull way look into her eyes and say "see you later".
I turn and head for my platform.
She says "byyee" behind me.
Next Day Text
The next afternoon I text her to see about a second day:
Me: Hey Maggie, it was pleasant hanging out with you last night
a bite in the next few days - what's your schedule looking like?
Maggie: Hey, I work late shifts every day till the 16th then I'm gone for the weekend of the 17th &
18th, maybe after?
Me: Yeah that's cool
To Conclude..
"Next week" will be here tomorrow. I'm thinking to leave it till Wednesday, then if I don't hear from her then I'll shoot her a text to see about a second meet. What do you guys suggest?
My apologies for this great wall of an FR. I'm just putting out as much detail as I can remember with the hopes that I can iron out the kinks in my natural behaviour that are hurting my seductions.
I'd definitely appreciate it if all interested could pull this apart and give me some constructive criticism, especially in what I could've done to go home with her.
I personally think I should have just hopped on the train with her home, all in the name of good fun or tried to escalate in some warm, private, public place.
Much respect,
Topcat
