- Joined
- Jul 15, 2016
- Messages
- 50
What's up everyone,
I recognized i have a sticking point with girls that's really fucking up my results. When i am confident enough to approach I can engage in conversation and it will move along smoothly and then all of a sudden I don't know how to move the interaction forward. A huge amount of nerves just appear, I get caught in my own thoughts, and the girl ends up in auto-rejection because i don't know how to handle the awkwardness of the situation This reared it's ugly head again when i went to a birthday party by the beach this past party. I forgot the exact dialog but i remember some bits and pieces here and there. Here's how it all went down:
Earlier in the week my cousin texts me telling me she's going to be In Cali for the weekend and we should meet up. She lives in Vegas and i hadn't seen her in over 9 months so i definitely agreed to her offer. Saturday comes around and I throw on a casual outfit ( White V neck, burgundy joggers & some grey & red vans). We meet up at the mall because she wanted to get prettied up for her best friend Vanessa's (We'' call her ness) birthday party. She's with her husband (AC) and Ness's cousin. Ness had went to the beach to set up her birthday party and she said she would meet up with us later. While were at the mall there are some cute girls around the area but I didn't approach. I was kind of nervous and i'm not used to approaching with friends or family around.
Eventually we meet up with my cousin's best friend, Vanessa. I get introduced to her and I had a feeling she was interested in me. She wasn't all that attractive but she had some big ass tits and at this point i could fuck anything so i went with it haha. She kept staring at me and when i teased her she seemed receptive to it. Everyone changes into their beach attire including ness (tits popping out and all) and we head out to her party at Del Mar Beach. The trip there was shitty as hell. My car had no A/C and it was like 95 degrees out, plus we got lost and there was no parking by the beach we were at. Also my cousin and Ac were arguing because he couldn't decide on what food to get her, lmao. I think my cousin was testing him and he kept on getting mad and agitated and didnt know how to handle her.
Anyways we end up finding a parking spot and its a beautiful ass day out.The beach was packed and it was perfect weather out. We showed up early to her party because there weren't that many people present. I assumed it would pick up and felt like I would have a good time. I get introduced to Ness's present family members and we sit down and grub. Later on in the evening more of her family and friends show up. I notice a pretty girl arrive. She had a dark skin-tone, long straight hair, about 5'7" with a white cut-off shirt and some faded blue jeans. I turned my head and caught her gazing at me. A few moment later our eyes meet again and I'm thinking " I need to talk to her."
My cousin, Ac, Ness, Ness's cousin and I decide to go closer to the water. Ness feels how cold the water is and I join her and start flirting with her some. I do some playful touching and i mess around with her like i'm going to pull her in the water. At that moment she says "let's take pictures, let's take pictures" and i'm like why the hell do you keep saying that. I assume she's not actually interested in me (turns out she had a boyfirend the whole time lol.) We chill for a few moment and then I notice the cute girl in our vicinity. In my head im like "Alright buddy, here's your chance." I was going to ignore it but i find the balls to approach. I notice she's taking pictures of herself so I wen't with a situational opener
So our conversation continues. I ask her what does she do and she reveals that she's a painting associate for some retail store. She recently got her degree and she's just been working. I deep dive her some more about what her passions are, how her job is and end up talking about racial profiling. I tried to include some banter and teasing to lighten up the conversation as I deep dive her. Long story short we talk for about 10 minutes and then my mind goes blank. I have no clue what to do. I was overthinking how i could integrate some sexual framing, sex talk, etc into the conversation and shit hits the fan. To me the conversation was getting really boring as if it was two platonic friends talking and I wasn't trying to be her guy friend, i was trying to fuck. Eventually the conversation hits a snag and there's silence for about 15-20 seconds. I'm lost in my thoughts at this point but i get saved by Ness. They were about to sing happy birthday to her and she told us to get back to the party. So the night goes on and i'm like fuck i don't know what to do. She even re-engaged me but at this point i had psyched myself out and gave up. That's an issue i definitely have to work on. Things can be running smoothly and then when it hits a snag i'm lost and i miss my opportunity to continue the conversation or # close.
In the end i return to my cousin and Ac. I knew Ness's sister was pissed and i felt bad for not giving her what she wanted. Soon after that Ness's tells me that her, my cousin, and AC are going to go to the club and after that they were going to chill at some hotel.They asked me to join but i decline since i wouldn't be able to go to the club with them anyways because Im not 21 yet. So we leave and head back to Ness's house. When we get back to her place i end up meeting her boyfriend. He was actually a nice, cool dude ironically. So right before I bounce and head home I see Ness's boyfriend offers her a kiss and she rejects him HARD. HE goes outside and i go up to her give her a hug and tell her her night will get better (her party ended up terrible) and tell her when my cousin comes back down from Vegas we can all chill again. She sounds super enthusiastic and i head out.
Can you guys give me some pointers about hitting escalation windows and also how to integrate sexual banter, sex talk. I mean i know the concept behind them but it's really hard for me to spot them or come up with things to say in the spur of the moment. Also my game gives off a really Friendly vibe at times and not a SEXY one. This will lead to me not knowing when a girl is actually turned on by me or just thinks im a cool guy( known from me trying to # close and getting the " I have a boyfriend" or "we can be friends" reply. I know this girl was into me but i got stuck and messed it up. Hope you guys had some good examples from your own experiences that could help me out
Thanks everyone!
Side Note: That next morning Ness added me on facebook and sent me some wink emojis. She told me she was glad to have me there and what not. What do you guys think her motives were here? was she trying to fuck me or just get him jealous?
I recognized i have a sticking point with girls that's really fucking up my results. When i am confident enough to approach I can engage in conversation and it will move along smoothly and then all of a sudden I don't know how to move the interaction forward. A huge amount of nerves just appear, I get caught in my own thoughts, and the girl ends up in auto-rejection because i don't know how to handle the awkwardness of the situation This reared it's ugly head again when i went to a birthday party by the beach this past party. I forgot the exact dialog but i remember some bits and pieces here and there. Here's how it all went down:
Earlier in the week my cousin texts me telling me she's going to be In Cali for the weekend and we should meet up. She lives in Vegas and i hadn't seen her in over 9 months so i definitely agreed to her offer. Saturday comes around and I throw on a casual outfit ( White V neck, burgundy joggers & some grey & red vans). We meet up at the mall because she wanted to get prettied up for her best friend Vanessa's (We'' call her ness) birthday party. She's with her husband (AC) and Ness's cousin. Ness had went to the beach to set up her birthday party and she said she would meet up with us later. While were at the mall there are some cute girls around the area but I didn't approach. I was kind of nervous and i'm not used to approaching with friends or family around.
Eventually we meet up with my cousin's best friend, Vanessa. I get introduced to her and I had a feeling she was interested in me. She wasn't all that attractive but she had some big ass tits and at this point i could fuck anything so i went with it haha. She kept staring at me and when i teased her she seemed receptive to it. Everyone changes into their beach attire including ness (tits popping out and all) and we head out to her party at Del Mar Beach. The trip there was shitty as hell. My car had no A/C and it was like 95 degrees out, plus we got lost and there was no parking by the beach we were at. Also my cousin and Ac were arguing because he couldn't decide on what food to get her, lmao. I think my cousin was testing him and he kept on getting mad and agitated and didnt know how to handle her.
Anyways we end up finding a parking spot and its a beautiful ass day out.The beach was packed and it was perfect weather out. We showed up early to her party because there weren't that many people present. I assumed it would pick up and felt like I would have a good time. I get introduced to Ness's present family members and we sit down and grub. Later on in the evening more of her family and friends show up. I notice a pretty girl arrive. She had a dark skin-tone, long straight hair, about 5'7" with a white cut-off shirt and some faded blue jeans. I turned my head and caught her gazing at me. A few moment later our eyes meet again and I'm thinking " I need to talk to her."
My cousin, Ac, Ness, Ness's cousin and I decide to go closer to the water. Ness feels how cold the water is and I join her and start flirting with her some. I do some playful touching and i mess around with her like i'm going to pull her in the water. At that moment she says "let's take pictures, let's take pictures" and i'm like why the hell do you keep saying that. I assume she's not actually interested in me (turns out she had a boyfirend the whole time lol.) We chill for a few moment and then I notice the cute girl in our vicinity. In my head im like "Alright buddy, here's your chance." I was going to ignore it but i find the balls to approach. I notice she's taking pictures of herself so I wen't with a situational opener
In my head i'm thinking damn there daddy was slaying back in the day
So our conversation continues. I ask her what does she do and she reveals that she's a painting associate for some retail store. She recently got her degree and she's just been working. I deep dive her some more about what her passions are, how her job is and end up talking about racial profiling. I tried to include some banter and teasing to lighten up the conversation as I deep dive her. Long story short we talk for about 10 minutes and then my mind goes blank. I have no clue what to do. I was overthinking how i could integrate some sexual framing, sex talk, etc into the conversation and shit hits the fan. To me the conversation was getting really boring as if it was two platonic friends talking and I wasn't trying to be her guy friend, i was trying to fuck. Eventually the conversation hits a snag and there's silence for about 15-20 seconds. I'm lost in my thoughts at this point but i get saved by Ness. They were about to sing happy birthday to her and she told us to get back to the party. So the night goes on and i'm like fuck i don't know what to do. She even re-engaged me but at this point i had psyched myself out and gave up. That's an issue i definitely have to work on. Things can be running smoothly and then when it hits a snag i'm lost and i miss my opportunity to continue the conversation or # close.
In the end i return to my cousin and Ac. I knew Ness's sister was pissed and i felt bad for not giving her what she wanted. Soon after that Ness's tells me that her, my cousin, and AC are going to go to the club and after that they were going to chill at some hotel.They asked me to join but i decline since i wouldn't be able to go to the club with them anyways because Im not 21 yet. So we leave and head back to Ness's house. When we get back to her place i end up meeting her boyfriend. He was actually a nice, cool dude ironically. So right before I bounce and head home I see Ness's boyfriend offers her a kiss and she rejects him HARD. HE goes outside and i go up to her give her a hug and tell her her night will get better (her party ended up terrible) and tell her when my cousin comes back down from Vegas we can all chill again. She sounds super enthusiastic and i head out.
Can you guys give me some pointers about hitting escalation windows and also how to integrate sexual banter, sex talk. I mean i know the concept behind them but it's really hard for me to spot them or come up with things to say in the spur of the moment. Also my game gives off a really Friendly vibe at times and not a SEXY one. This will lead to me not knowing when a girl is actually turned on by me or just thinks im a cool guy( known from me trying to # close and getting the " I have a boyfriend" or "we can be friends" reply. I know this girl was into me but i got stuck and messed it up. Hope you guys had some good examples from your own experiences that could help me out
Thanks everyone!
Side Note: That next morning Ness added me on facebook and sent me some wink emojis. She told me she was glad to have me there and what not. What do you guys think her motives were here? was she trying to fuck me or just get him jealous?
