Hey fellas. I'm seeking second opinions of what I could have done differently to get this girl investing more in the interaction and showing interest. She's 22, just graduated college, and I'm 27.
The approach
Last week Sunday, as I was standing in line in trader joes I spotted a gorgeous, short, petite, half-japanese girl dressed in a sultry red skirt and white blouse. She was a few back from me so I waited to approach til we were both outside. Though I went to the register before her, she went to another register, and finished checking out a few minutes before me. Once I paid for my groceries, I spotted her a block and a half away, caught up with her, and here's out conversation:
Me: Hey there (pause), you went all of the way to trader joes just for a bag of peanuts?
Tora: Oh, hi! I didn't know anyone was watching my grocery store habits! I...love peanuts.
Me: I'm just kidding, I saw you here and had to tell you that you have the cutest smile. What's your name?
Tora: I'm Tora.
Me: Nice to meet you Tora (shaking her hand). Wow, that's quite a unique name. What's your background?
Tora: I'm half Japanese. Thanks for asking!
Me: Where are you heading? Going anywhere exciting?
Tora: Well, I'm supposed to be meeting up with some friends for happy hour at this bar.
(I give her directions and point her where to go. Didn't try an insta-date since she was meeting friends)
Me: Well, I have to get going as well but we should trade numbers..I'll give you a buzz...and maybe we can meet up sometime.
Tora: Sounds great! (puts her first and last name and number in my phone) I'm probably the only person named Tora in your phone.
Me: Just maybe Tora. Well, it was nice meeting you. Enjoy your time with your friends!
Later we briefly texted and set up a date for the following Sunday. I couldn't meet her for a while as I was too busy till Sunday. She always replied to my texts within 30min. Me, sometimes not for hours.
1st Date
We met at a 5pm at quiet bar and both ordered drinks. Right off the bat I saw a red flag as she made a rude comment on the drink I ordered. I ordered a glass of wine off the menu (I think it may have been desert wine, or moscato, or whatever, but was unintentional). She said, "you're ordering that? It's a "bitch drink." She ordered a pinot grigio so I don't think what I ordered is that bad, but whatever. I took it as immaturity, as I just arrived. Though in hindsight I won't be ordering that again
I just ignored her and continued in conversation about her having just moved to town. However, I think I put her comment to bed and made myself look less of a pussy when we briefly discussed my job. She asked what I do for work. I told her I work for the Navy. She asked me to elaborate and told her, "Sorry, I can't do that, its top secret." We joked a little about that and she accused me of working for the CIA. Said she didn't believe I work for the Navy. Later she asked what my roommates do for work, and before I could say anything, asked if they work for the CIA. I touch her lightly on the arm, flirted with her about it a little longer.
That little joke between us seemed to work, but she rejected two compliance tests. Somehow we got talking about her height (I wanna say shes 5'1") and I asked her to stand up (to see how tall she is, and see if she'd comply). She said, "I don't want to entertain you with that." Roughly 30 minutes or so later, she said she's strong, so asked her to make a muscle for me. She replied, "I don't want to entertain you with that either." These compliance rejections may seem trivial but I don't feel like I asked for to me, and took them as disinterest.
I deep dived her best I could. We didn't dive into as many topics as I would have liked. Maybe that's cause she's only 22. But I did dig in pretty deep to her study abroad that she did a year ago in Amsterdam. She talked in length about it, and her other travels in Europe. Though when I asked what she does for stimulation in her life, she barely had anything to say. When she mentioned she wants to move to Boston in a few years, I asked her what draws her there, and she didn't give any reasons other than "it seems like a really awesome city." Most girls I've gone out with would give more. I tried to help her think, too, but seemed to little avail.
I didn't feel we connected enough to ask her back to my place. But before i could have ended the date, about 1 hour 20 min. in she said she had to meet her friends in 40 min. for dinner. I asked her where, and she replied back with a location, it seemed genuine. About 5 min. later I asked for the bill. The interaction was awkward with it. I took out my card and she told me I didn't have to pay for her, i replied back that I didn't intend on paying for her drink. I wasn't sure if that was a test, or if she really thought I was going to pay. Either way, I thought worth mentioning, but not sure if there's anything to read into that. Though, since she already said she had to leave, I figured best to end the date first. I got up form the bar stool, asked "ready?", and she seemed a little shocked, that we'd have stayed a little bit longer. Initially I thought it was a bad sign she said she had to leave to go meet her friends, but when I ended the date on my terms, I think that helped.
Long story short, I didn't see too many signs of interest, investment. I'm going to text her later this evening to grill out for dinner at my place this week and figure that will screen her in or out.
Please do share any comments and advice you may have!
The approach
Last week Sunday, as I was standing in line in trader joes I spotted a gorgeous, short, petite, half-japanese girl dressed in a sultry red skirt and white blouse. She was a few back from me so I waited to approach til we were both outside. Though I went to the register before her, she went to another register, and finished checking out a few minutes before me. Once I paid for my groceries, I spotted her a block and a half away, caught up with her, and here's out conversation:
Me: Hey there (pause), you went all of the way to trader joes just for a bag of peanuts?
Tora: Oh, hi! I didn't know anyone was watching my grocery store habits! I...love peanuts.
Me: I'm just kidding, I saw you here and had to tell you that you have the cutest smile. What's your name?
Tora: I'm Tora.
Me: Nice to meet you Tora (shaking her hand). Wow, that's quite a unique name. What's your background?
Tora: I'm half Japanese. Thanks for asking!
Me: Where are you heading? Going anywhere exciting?
Tora: Well, I'm supposed to be meeting up with some friends for happy hour at this bar.
(I give her directions and point her where to go. Didn't try an insta-date since she was meeting friends)
Me: Well, I have to get going as well but we should trade numbers..I'll give you a buzz...and maybe we can meet up sometime.
Tora: Sounds great! (puts her first and last name and number in my phone) I'm probably the only person named Tora in your phone.
Me: Just maybe Tora. Well, it was nice meeting you. Enjoy your time with your friends!
Later we briefly texted and set up a date for the following Sunday. I couldn't meet her for a while as I was too busy till Sunday. She always replied to my texts within 30min. Me, sometimes not for hours.
1st Date
We met at a 5pm at quiet bar and both ordered drinks. Right off the bat I saw a red flag as she made a rude comment on the drink I ordered. I ordered a glass of wine off the menu (I think it may have been desert wine, or moscato, or whatever, but was unintentional). She said, "you're ordering that? It's a "bitch drink." She ordered a pinot grigio so I don't think what I ordered is that bad, but whatever. I took it as immaturity, as I just arrived. Though in hindsight I won't be ordering that again
I just ignored her and continued in conversation about her having just moved to town. However, I think I put her comment to bed and made myself look less of a pussy when we briefly discussed my job. She asked what I do for work. I told her I work for the Navy. She asked me to elaborate and told her, "Sorry, I can't do that, its top secret." We joked a little about that and she accused me of working for the CIA. Said she didn't believe I work for the Navy. Later she asked what my roommates do for work, and before I could say anything, asked if they work for the CIA. I touch her lightly on the arm, flirted with her about it a little longer.That little joke between us seemed to work, but she rejected two compliance tests. Somehow we got talking about her height (I wanna say shes 5'1") and I asked her to stand up (to see how tall she is, and see if she'd comply). She said, "I don't want to entertain you with that." Roughly 30 minutes or so later, she said she's strong, so asked her to make a muscle for me. She replied, "I don't want to entertain you with that either." These compliance rejections may seem trivial but I don't feel like I asked for to me, and took them as disinterest.
I deep dived her best I could. We didn't dive into as many topics as I would have liked. Maybe that's cause she's only 22. But I did dig in pretty deep to her study abroad that she did a year ago in Amsterdam. She talked in length about it, and her other travels in Europe. Though when I asked what she does for stimulation in her life, she barely had anything to say. When she mentioned she wants to move to Boston in a few years, I asked her what draws her there, and she didn't give any reasons other than "it seems like a really awesome city." Most girls I've gone out with would give more. I tried to help her think, too, but seemed to little avail.
I didn't feel we connected enough to ask her back to my place. But before i could have ended the date, about 1 hour 20 min. in she said she had to meet her friends in 40 min. for dinner. I asked her where, and she replied back with a location, it seemed genuine. About 5 min. later I asked for the bill. The interaction was awkward with it. I took out my card and she told me I didn't have to pay for her, i replied back that I didn't intend on paying for her drink. I wasn't sure if that was a test, or if she really thought I was going to pay. Either way, I thought worth mentioning, but not sure if there's anything to read into that. Though, since she already said she had to leave, I figured best to end the date first. I got up form the bar stool, asked "ready?", and she seemed a little shocked, that we'd have stayed a little bit longer. Initially I thought it was a bad sign she said she had to leave to go meet her friends, but when I ended the date on my terms, I think that helped.
Long story short, I didn't see too many signs of interest, investment. I'm going to text her later this evening to grill out for dinner at my place this week and figure that will screen her in or out.
Please do share any comments and advice you may have!
