DayGame: 2 great sets, contact taken, no answer on first message

[Ronnie]

This has happened two days in a row, so I think there may be some pattern I don't understand here.

Both sets were indirect with transition. Great vibe, they are investing and happy about the conversation while I am self-amusing.
The first gives me her Instagram and tells me "when you're the neighborhood let me know".
The second gives me her contact and agrees on getting a drink and we say bye with a hug.

The next day I send a small call-back text. Something on the line of "tnx for that tip and great meeting you" with a bit of humor.
No reply.

Where do you think was my mistake:
A) the sets were too short. I should have stayed longer but I let by day game beginner's anxiety end the set too soon.
B) I should have waited longer to text and ask them out directly. Sending them a text less than 24 hours later was a low-value move.

or (things that I can't control)

C) they were socially engaged but not really attracted to me, meaning that while I can self-amuse and vibe, my attraction fundamentals aren't solid yet for successful daygame: to them I was just a cool social guy (my pre-game nature basically).
D) given that they're both quite pretty and young, they probably have a lot of options (Tinder guys, club guys etc.) so I wasn't unique enough to stand out from those guys

One still follows me on Insta and the other hasn't blocked me on Whatsapp but sending them another text without having gotten a reply seems pretty needy and tryhard.

P.S. still happy about getting 3 contacts over around 15-16 direct or indirect with transition approaches in the last two months (not counting the indirect without transition). As a DG beginner I can't complain about this.

 

[Skjöldr]

Keep it up. And personally I text girls almost immediately after the approach, like I will save their number, get out of sight and immediately send an icebreaker. Just so that I don't forget about texting them.

On IG I wait for them to follow me back, then I text, although these days I give my instagram out with some rare, logistical exceptions. On IG I can wait a bit longer because they're not really running anywhere. If her profile is private I usually wait for her to accept my follow request before I text. Just so that it doesn't end up as a "message request" that she might miss.

 

[Skjöldr]

A)=Nope. Had many sets that converted that took 5-60 seconds.

B)=Definitely nope.

C)=Maybe, you would have to give more details about the approach.

D)=Again, maybe, but you would have to give more details about the girls and your approach.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

This has happened two days in a row, so I think there may be some pattern I don't understand here.

Both sets were indirect with transition. Great vibe, they are investing and happy about the conversation while I am self-amusing.
The first gives me her Instagram and tells me "when you're the neighborhood let me know".
The second gives me her contact and agrees on getting a drink and we say bye with a hug.

The next day I send a small call-back text. Something on the line of "tnx for that tip and great meeting you" with a bit of humor.
No reply.

Where do you think was my mistake:
A) the sets were too short. I should have stayed longer but I let by day game beginner's anxiety end the set too soon.
B) I should have waited longer to text and ask them out directly. Sending them a text less than 24 hours later was a low-value move.

or (things that I can't control)

C) they were socially engaged but not really attracted to me, meaning that while I can self-amuse and vibe, my attraction fundamentals aren't solid yet for successful daygame: to them I was just a cool social guy (my pre-game nature basically).
D) given that they're both quite pretty and young, they probably have a lot of options (Tinder guys, club guys etc.) so I wasn't unique enough to stand out from those guys

One still follows me on Insta and the other hasn't blocked me on Whatsapp but sending them another text without having gotten a reply seems pretty needy and tryhard.

P.S. still happy about getting 3 contacts over around 15-16 direct or indirect with transition approaches in the last two months (not counting the indirect without transition). As a DG beginner I can't complain about this.

This type of thing goes in Field Reports, just a heads up

best,

Biggus

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

This has happened two days in a row, so I think there may be some pattern I don't understand here.

Both sets were indirect with transition. Great vibe, they are investing and happy about the conversation while I am self-amusing.
The first gives me her Instagram and tells me "when you're the neighborhood let me know".
The second gives me her contact and agrees on getting a drink and we say bye with a hug.

The next day I send a small call-back text. Something on the line of "tnx for that tip and great meeting you" with a bit of humor.
No reply.

Where do you think was my mistake:
A) the sets were too short. I should have stayed longer but I let by day game beginner's anxiety end the set too soon.
B) I should have waited longer to text and ask them out directly. Sending them a text less than 24 hours later was a low-value move.

or (things that I can't control)

C) they were socially engaged but not really attracted to me, meaning that while I can self-amuse and vibe, my attraction fundamentals aren't solid yet for successful daygame: to them I was just a cool social guy (my pre-game nature basically).
D) given that they're both quite pretty and young, they probably have a lot of options (Tinder guys, club guys etc.) so I wasn't unique enough to stand out from those guys

One still follows me on Insta and the other hasn't blocked me on Whatsapp but sending them another text without having gotten a reply seems pretty needy and tryhard.

P.S. still happy about getting 3 contacts over around 15-16 direct or indirect with transition approaches in the last two months (not counting the indirect without transition). As a DG beginner I can't complain about this.

I think you should just approach more

When your starting out your gonna get A LOT of dead leads

In one of my best weeks, when I went on 4 dates in a week, about a third of the numbers I got turned out to be dead ends

I’m new, your new, when someone’s new their fundamentals aren’t the best so women will not be as attracted, plain and simple

The only remedy is time, time to work on your fundamentals in and out of sets but definitely in a lot of sets because that’s where your fundamentals really matter

As you become more attractive, more and more women will put energy into talking to you

So yeah I’d say just grind if you want better results

you said only 15 approaches in 2 months?

If you want to improve you need to be putting in more work than that.

I think I remember @Teevster saying somewhere that you need at least 4 hours of dedicated practice a week in order to improve consistently at pick up

(Someone correct me if I’m wrong on the specifics of how much practice but I remember reading it from a reply to a post about logistics of where when to approach in India, something like that)

To give you some perspective, I avg 35+ approaches a week

Which is not a whole lot, it’s common to do 20+ approaches in an outing

But it all depends how far you want to take this

I’d recommend putting in more time if you want to improve,

maybe not a crazy amount but whatever your comfortable with

You might have to ease into it depending on if you have Approach Anxiety.

Best of Luck,

Biggus

 

[Ronnie]

I think you should just approach more

When your starting out your gonna get A LOT of dead leads

In one of my best weeks, when I went on 4 dates in a week, about a third of the numbers I got turned out to be dead ends

I’m new, your new, when someone’s new their fundamentals aren’t the best so women will not be as attracted, plain and simple

The only remedy is time, time to work on your fundamentals in and out of sets but definitely in a lot of sets because that’s where your fundamentals really matter

As you become more attractive, more and more women will put energy into talking to you

So yeah I’d say just grind if you want better results

you said only 15 approaches in 2 months?

If you want to improve you need to be putting in more work than that.

I think I remember @Teevster saying somewhere that you need at least 4 hours of dedicated practice a week in order to improve consistently at pick up

(Someone correct me if I’m wrong on the specifics of how much practice but I remember reading it from a reply to a post about logistics of where when to approach in India, something like that)

To give you some perspective, I avg 35+ approaches a week

Which is not a whole lot, it’s common to do 20+ approaches in an outing

But it all depends how far you want to take this

I’d recommend putting in more time if you want to improve,

maybe not a crazy amount but whatever your comfortable with

You might have to ease into it depending on if you have Approach Anxiety.

Best of Luck,

Biggus

So, when it comes to Night Game, I am a rusty intermediate who's now back at it after years being in relationships. I go to bars/clubs around 2-3 times a month and do easily 20-30 approaches, all very intentful. Gradually getting used to it again.

DG is a whole other beast. I am just a beginner (didn't do it in my late 20s, my peak game years) and I am basically learning from scratch. Yes, in DG the fear of being socially awkward and out of place is very real, unlike bars/clubs where I frankly don't give a $hit these days.

So I do a lot of approaches without intent just to get used to talking to strangers, then I do some indirect with transition, and then I do some direct ones. 90% of the direct approaches I did ended with a smiley "Thank you" before she walked away. Only some indirect with transition is where I am feeling I am actually day game: when it actually becomes A SET and I have A SHOT.

I'll never get to a point where I chain-approach during the day like I do in the club. First I am too busy, second I have to game in specific areas due to my schedule and as an entrepreneur I can't really afford being seen as the guy who hits on any girl. I gotta do it under the radar. I don't mind learning day game slow. If I reach 40 (in 4.5 years) with good day game skills that allow me to still game late 20s and early 30s without going to the clubs or relying on apps, I'll be satisfied.

P.S. my only lays post break up (early this year) were from social circle game (events, meetups etc.)

 

[DarkJedi]

This has happened two days in a row, so I think there may be some pattern I don't understand here.

Both sets were indirect with transition. Great vibe, they are investing and happy about the conversation while I am self-amusing.
The first gives me her Instagram and tells me "when you're the neighborhood let me know".
The second gives me her contact and agrees on getting a drink and we say bye with a hug.

The next day I send a small call-back text. Something on the line of "tnx for that tip and great meeting you" with a bit of humor.
No reply.

Where do you think was my mistake:
A) the sets were too short. I should have stayed longer but I let by day game beginner's anxiety end the set too soon.
B) I should have waited longer to text and ask them out directly. Sending them a text less than 24 hours later was a low-value move.

or (things that I can't control)

C) they were socially engaged but not really attracted to me, meaning that while I can self-amuse and vibe, my attraction fundamentals aren't solid yet for successful daygame: to them I was just a cool social guy (my pre-game nature basically).
D) given that they're both quite pretty and young, they probably have a lot of options (Tinder guys, club guys etc.) so I wasn't unique enough to stand out from those guys

One still follows me on Insta and the other hasn't blocked me on Whatsapp but sending them another text without having gotten a reply seems pretty needy and tryhard.

P.S. still happy about getting 3 contacts over around 15-16 direct or indirect with transition approaches in the last two months (not counting the indirect without transition). As a DG beginner I can't complain about this.

A) A good short impactful approach works better than longer ones. For short ones I think what's especially important is to qualify the girl. She needs to feel you see something in her instead of just number-farming

B) The shorter the interaction the quicker you should text her. I have lost more girls by waiting. Nowadays I text within an hour, something low key. You're fresh on her mind and she's excited to talk to u. If you had a fairly long interaction or maybe an instant date, you can text the next day. Then she has had enough history with you that it builds intrigue/anticipation.

C) Hard to say

D) This is not helpful to think about imo. You're not in control of those factors. Just try to improve as you practice. But yeah in general, the more options they have, the better you have to hook and the faster you have to move.

 

[Ronnie]

For short ones I think what's especially important is to qualify the girl. She needs to feel you see something in her instead of just number-farming

I did qualify them both.

Based on what you are saying, it looks like my game was on point so I am starting to think it's a fundamentals issue or a "I have better options" issue. I'll try to keep improving my basic attractiveness although I am realizing it's something you can only do in the long term so my potential for closing may be limited in the short term, at least when it comes to DG.

 

[Gladiator]

I did qualify them both.

Based on what you are saying, it looks like my game was on point so I am starting to think it's a fundamentals issue or a "I have better options" issue. I'll try to keep improving my basic attractiveness although I am realizing it's something you can only do in the long term so my potential for closing may be limited in the short term, at least when it comes to DG.

Could be or it can be anything else.. like @Skjöldr said, it's hard to say without knowing more details..

You could look up texting from @Skills to get an idea about all the nuances including text openers. He suggests texting your phone from her phone like "you're handsome " etc which works most of the time but this is not always possible in day game.

Another option which Skills also suggests is to continue what you were talking in person over text. I've improvised this step and I ask something unique about her which I call "texting-hook" and use it as opener. For ex, you can ask what she's doing after this? You can start your text with anything related to this.. like, did your friend like the gift you were buying? Or did you tell your mom about me? Or did you tell your friend you got late cos you met a handsome guy on the way ? etc..
This makes it relatable, funny and not try-hard. It really depends on the context and interaction. So, not a good idea to use exactly my texts.. But you get the idea...

 

[Ronnie]

Could be or it can be anything else.. like @Skjöldr said, it's hard to say without knowing more details..

You could look up texting from @Skills to get an idea about all the nuances including text openers. He suggests texting your phone from her phone like "you're handsome " etc which works most of the time but this is not always possible in day game.

Another option which Skills also suggests is to continue what you were talking in person over text. I've improvised this step and I ask something unique about her which I call "texting-hook" and use it as opener. For ex, you can ask what she's doing after this? You can start your text with anything related to this.. like, did your friend like the gift you were buying? Or did you tell your mom about me? Or did you tell your friend you got late cos you met a handsome guy on the way ? etc..
This makes it relatable, funny and not try-hard. It really depends on the context and interaction. So, not a good idea to use exactly my texts.. But you get the idea...

Instagram chick finally replied (2 days and half later, but very positively).
You never know with these hoes LOL

 

[DarkJedi]

Another option which Skills also suggests is to continue what you were talking in person over text. I've improvised this step and I ask something unique about her which I call "texting-hook" and use it as opener. For ex, you can ask what she's doing after this? You can start your text with anything related to this.. like, did your friend like the gift you were buying? Or did you tell your mom about me? Or did you tell your friend you got late cos you met a handsome guy on the way ? etc..
This makes it relatable, funny and not try-hard. It really depends on the context and interaction. So, not a good idea to use exactly my texts.. But you get the idea...

Good stuff!

Yeah doing this has really improved my texting too. Follows law of least effort and feels more familiar to the girl. Earlier I used to do the "was nice to meet you" line. That sets things up in a more formal frame and I found it hard to transition to something else a lot of times, things would fizzle out.

 

[Will_V]

This has happened two days in a row, so I think there may be some pattern I don't understand here.

Both sets were indirect with transition. Great vibe, they are investing and happy about the conversation while I am self-amusing.
The first gives me her Instagram and tells me "when you're the neighborhood let me know".
The second gives me her contact and agrees on getting a drink and we say bye with a hug.

The next day I send a small call-back text. Something on the line of "tnx for that tip and great meeting you" with a bit of humor.
No reply.

Sending a text the next day is waaay too late. By then you are just a fuzzy memory of something that happened while she was in a different mood. The text link has to be established while you are still fresh in her mind and she's still feeling emotions about it.

Her replying to a text is an act of compliance and compliance is something you build on one after the other, not leave everything to go cold for a long while and then try to get it.

I usually go for 1/2 hour to an hour before texting, but I've gone down to a few minutes at times and it doesn't seem to make any difference.

Where do you think was my mistake:
A) the sets were too short. I should have stayed longer but I let by day game beginner's anxiety end the set too soon.

Nope, short sets can be fine. Some of mine have been 2-3 minutes. It's not time that makes her like you but what she has in front of her and how that intrigues her.

B) I should have waited longer to text and ask them out directly. Sending them a text less than 24 hours later was a low-value move.

No, 24 hours is a good way to let everything go cold and lose her. And she likes you not because you aren't low value, but because of what you made her feel.

or (things that I can't control)

C) they were socially engaged but not really attracted to me, meaning that while I can self-amuse and vibe, my attraction fundamentals aren't solid yet for successful daygame: to them I was just a cool social guy (my pre-game nature basically).

This is a distinct possibility - not sure why you put it in the category of things you can't control? This is what game is all about.

I had this issue myself for a period and even started a thread somewhere. It boils down to overproviding good feelings and not introducing enough tension into the conversation, with things like push/pull, teasing, making her qualify to you, etc.

In a way you can think of it like - did you leave her feeling like she still had anything to prove to you? If not then she could easily write it off as an enjoyable but complete experience.

D) given that they're both quite pretty and young, they probably have a lot of options (Tinder guys, club guys etc.) so I wasn't unique enough to stand out from those guys

In a way this ties into C), it could be so. Because younger girls are going out into the world trying to prove all sorts of things, and you have to draw that energy toward you. An older woman can enjoy a great conversation and want to continue it afterward, but a younger girl is way more chaotic and drawn toward things that make her feel excited and uncertain, and Jake the Rake who is sending her crazy out there texts and teasing the shit out of her is way more exciting than you.

One still follows me on Insta and the other hasn't blocked me on Whatsapp but sending them another text without having gotten a reply seems pretty needy and tryhard.

This suggests again they liked you but weren't really hooked. Anyway good work, seems like you have the core social skills but maybe need to push things into the danger zone a bit more, making sure she's hooked and reaching for you rather than sitting back feeling pleasant.

 

[Ronnie]

Sending a text the next day is waaay too late. By then you are just a fuzzy memory of something that happened while she was in a different mood. The text link has to be established while you are still fresh in her mind and she's still feeling emotions about it.

Her replying to a text is an act of compliance and compliance is something you build on one after the other, not leave everything to go cold for a long while and then try to get it.

I usually go for 1/2 hour to an hour before texting, but I've gone down to a few minutes at times and it doesn't seem to make any difference.



Nope, short sets can be fine. Some of mine have been 2-3 minutes. It's not time that makes her like you but what she has in front of her and how that intrigues her.



No, 24 hours is a good way to let everything go cold and lose her. And she likes you not because you aren't low value, but because of what you made her feel.



This is a distinct possibility - not sure why you put it in the category of things you can't control? This is what game is all about.

I had this issue myself for a period and even started a thread somewhere. It boils down to overproviding good feelings and not introducing enough tension into the conversation, with things like push/pull, teasing, making her qualify to you, etc.

In a way you can think of it like - did you leave her feeling like she still had anything to prove to you? If not then she could easily write it off as an enjoyable but complete experience.



In a way this ties into C), it could be so. Because younger girls are going out into the world trying to prove all sorts of things, and you have to draw that energy toward you. An older woman can enjoy a great conversation and want to continue it afterward, but a younger girl is way more chaotic and drawn toward things that make her feel excited and uncertain, and Jake the Rake who is sending her crazy out there texts and teasing the shit out of her is way more exciting than you.



This suggests again they liked you but weren't really hooked. Anyway good work, seems like you have the core social skills but maybe need to push things into the danger zone a bit more, making sure she's hooked and reaching for you rather than sitting back feeling pleasant.

Thanks for all these valuable tips. I am gonna read them several times.

BTW, the Insta chick tried to friend-zone me before the date. Like "I'd like you to meet you as a new friend but I am not interested in anything else". I acted like it didn't bother me but became vague about meeting her. Basically nexting her without losing value.

I'll try to work on generating more tension. I think pulling is not even the priority at this point. More like working on specific points.

 

[Will_V]

Thanks for all these valuable tips. I am gonna read them several times.

BTW, the Insta chick tried to friend-zone me before the date. Like "I'd like you to meet you as a new friend but I am not interested in anything else". I acted like it didn't bother me but became vague about meeting her. Basically nexting her without losing value.

I'll try to work on generating more tension. I think pulling is not even the priority at this point. More like working on specific points.

Why not go on the date, ramp up the sexual vibe and see what happens?

Girls will say things but most of the time it's a placeholder for your frame.