Daygame: 30 approaches, 20 numbers but still no dates. What can I do better?

[kristian]

Hi, since I joined GC in june Ive been approaching girls almost every week. I got 30 cold approaches, 20 of them numbers, and one date (witch I blew because of my inexperience). It has been a fun experience so far and - even though I still have some approach anxiety - I feel I am getting better doing this.

Now, I went out from a fwb-relationship and my hunger to succeed is bigger than ever. I am talking to girls every day this week (at least one per day). And feel like I am gaining momentum. However; like I said above, I only got one date in 30 approaches. Im I doing something wrong that need some tweaks here and there, or is this very normal?

To make you understand what I'm doing, allow me to break my interactions;

• 1. I see a girl and walk up to her. If she doesn't see me I always pre-open (by touching her shoulder before I talk). If not, I start walking to her and talking out loud and clear enough so she understand what I say. "I just saw you standing/walking past me, and I had to come over and say that you are the cutest/have the best style/have the best energy I've seen so far today."

• 2. I give her my name, she give me hers and I start assuming something and/or asking her what she is up to today. I found out that assuming works better for me. ("Your accent is different, where are you from? or do you work in the fashion industry?") Maybe there are some better transitions here?

• 3. I start deep diving. By screening and qualifying. I ask her questions and answer with short sentences about myself to keep her guessing about me. I also refuse to give her FB or social media so the mystery still is there.

• 4. After 5-6 minutes I say; "you know what? Why don't you give me your number so maybe we can do something one day." I hand her my phone. She agrees, I give her a hug and then walk away. An hour later I send her the following message: "Hi Karen, it was nice to meet you. - Kristian". She always answers with something like: "It was awesome to meet you too - Karen"

This way of doing things has given me a lot of smiles and numbers. The women I talk to are usually in their early to mid twenties. Slim and in my eyes very attractive. They seem pretty eager once my approach is strong and I my fundamentals are on point. They usually give me their numbers. However, when I send her a message trying to set up the date they either answer by saying they have a boyfriend and that they cant meet me or that they don't have any time to meet me at all (I am happy 90% of the girls answer though).

I guess my question is; how can I get better numbers dating wise? I remember the time I actually got a date, we only talked for one minute! I said I wanted to take her out, she was defensive, but I said "ok, here is my number, give a message if your still on". I've tried the same approach on other occasions, but most of the girls never send messages. Its like they wait for me to text them. I guess this particular girl was very sexual in her nature (and I blew my chances by framing myself as a boyfriend candidate).

Can I do something smoother? Is it the lack of chase framing and tension building that makes the numbers low? And if so; in what ways can I convey myself as a sexual man during my 5-6 minute conversation? I like my interactions to be short, but strong. And more importantly, I want them to end up with dates, not just small-talks, numbers and good reactions.

Hope you can help.

-Kristian

 

[Troy]

I only got one date in 30 approaches. Im I doing something wrong that need some tweaks here and there, or is this very normal?

Ah just keep doing your approaches and looking out for sticking points. The answer to your question is yes and no. It depends on your skill, if you're new it's possible to get far more numbers ( reactions) than dates ( closer to results... Though the lay is more a result). Imo you should aim to get at least 10 out of 30 girls on dates ( that gave her number).

3. I start deep diving. By screening and qualifying. I ask her questions and answer with short sentences about myself to keep her guessing about me.

OK good job here. One thing I didn't see you mention. Did you flirt and keep it playful some of the time?

4. After 5-6 minutes I say; "you know what? Why don't you give me your number so maybe we can do something one day." I hand her my phone. She agrees, I give her a hug and then walk away.

Personally I don't like the " you know what ?" way of getting to ask for the number . There are many more ways to do it. Ask her for the number on a high point " when she is laughing, touching you ). Also when you get the number, stand and talk for a few more minutes. You don't want girls feeling you were only after the number.

during my 5-6 minute conversation? I like my interactions to be short, but strong. And more importantly, I want them to end up with dates, not just small-talks, numbers and good reactions.

Aim to have longer interactions. I've gotten far more dates when I talked to girls for 10 minutes and over. Imo a lot of girls need more time to get a feel good of who you are. So stand and seduce them longer. And suggest the date while you are still talking before asking for her number.

Girl: ( laughs, touches you )

Kristian : ( that's your high point. Ask her out )

Girl : Sure

Kristian : ( get the number then continue the conversation for a few more minutes)

Troy

 

[Bboy100]

Is it the lack of chase framing and tension building that makes the numbers low?

Probably not. Chase frames are great once you already have her out. So if you plan n going on an insta-date or you're already on a date, feel free to use these. But spiking attraction/building sexual tension and not doing anything with it causes emotions to crest. This actually lowers conversion rate.

Imo a lot of girls need more time to get a feel good of who you are. So stand and seduce them longer.

I don't have much experience with Day Game, but based on what Chase wrote on the topic, this is actually a bad idea. See: https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... ack?page=2

Other than that, you didn't mention how long you wait to ask her out. If you're waiting a long time, that could be the issue. Ask her out the day after you get her number. Everything else seems pretty good based on what you wrote. Perhaps there's something you're doing to sabotage your interactions which you're not noticing?

 

[Skid]

Ok , so I'm going to assume this is your first ever 30 approaches. Don't worry too much about your results : 1 date for your first 30 approaches is pretty good in my experience like that's much better than I did when I started. You've got some experience with girls so that's a positive.

I used to do a lot of cold reading/assumptions as well. I found one mistake I made to doing it too much. You have to understand that in your average conversation no one does this - let alone a dude approaching her randomly I've had girls tell me about their experience with cold approach and usually its not positive usually awkward etc. The problem with doing too much cold reading is the girl won't be able to get her feet in the interaction and she doesn't know how to contribute to the conversation even if she likes you and wants to because the conversation frame is so different. Put yourself in the girls shoes for a second : a dude that's really attractive says to you "you look like you work in the fashion industry" - she's gonna be like yeah or no she's too socially stunned to ask why you think that lol.She is trying to find her feet - most girls have very little experience in this situation even attractive ones so when you open give her something she can easily reply too. My go to line 90% after I open is "where are you running off too?". It's so much easier for her to just tell you she's going to meet her friends and then go shopping - because that's whats on her mind. It also has the bonus of giving you her logistics so you know how much time you have to work with. Leave the cold reads for abit later when she is comfortable in the interaction you've gotten a feel for what type of person she is.

Then you start screening her which is good. But something I want to point out here is she actually qualifying herself or are you just throwing out screens and then she fails them? Remember that if you show interest in a girl after she fails your screens it shows you don't think very much of your "standards" that you are setting up for her. Something that can help is if you help her pass the screens - do this if she feel like she is really trying but if you do it in other cases where the girl is neutral then you may come off too nice. In those cases just screen for something else after a little later you can't have her fail all your screens and then still show interest. Also are you screening for the right reason?You could have the problem I run into where I was screening to attract and impress the girl instead of screening because I wanted to see if she met my standards - you have to do this and it has to be genuine.

And then after 5-6 minutes you close. If you do this all the time you're not pushing yourself. Yeah its ok to number close if she is going somewhere - but if she is say just casually shopping for herself go for coffee with her - that's a MUCH bigger compliance test then saying hey give me your number and lets hang out sometime and the more compliance tests you give a girl the easier it is too determine whether she is serious or just being polite. Your social skills are at a decent level because all the girls are replying; you say you have decent fundamentals sometimes a girl will give you her number just because it was a good interaction and it seems somewhat rude to say no its usually quite easy to force this if you have good social skills and its a mistake : you aren't filtering out the girls who are time wasters and aren't that interested because "you aren't her type" or "she is happy with her bf" / sexually available. Then after the coffee with some chase frames and some sexual innuendo's if she eat's those up then try to pull her. PUSH YOURSELF.

You're just like oh hi give me your number to every girl. An exercise you should try when you go out next time is only asking a girl for her number if she impresses you with what she says. If she doesn't just walk away saying cool meeting you I've gotta go do xyz. Solid numbers are girls that reply to you AND are keen on meeting with you work towards this your current goal.

Good luck,

Skid

 

[ray_zorse]

I haven't read the whole thing but basically if they give the number and then flake, it means you haven't build enough of a connection. I'd look at your deep diving. Another possibility is insufficient attraction. So for that you need good fundamentals (eye contact and posture particularly) and to have a little tension, not just a friendly hangout.
Ray