- Joined
- Dec 20, 2018
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- 497
Over one month ago, I approached a beautiful haitian woman in my local neighborhood one Friday evening as she was sitting on a park bench. She has a great little body, black but with a lighter tone to her skin. It was a fast hook and number close, which then transitioned into an instant date. Her case has been challenging so I’m posting a synopsis here to see if the experts can tell me what I’ve done well, what I could do better, and where to go from here. This will probably be long but I need to put down all the details.
TL//DR version: Met a girl outside on a park bench, did instant date, she never responds to my texts until I meet her outside again by chance, persist over several weeks to finally get the date, fun date, no escalation but potential for future meets, heavy COVID-objections.
1st meet - instant date on 12th of June
Like I said, it was a fast hook and I was able to challenge her and engage her. We spent about an hour chatting on a park bench where I initially approached, then I transitioned over to a bar with take out margaritas and built some good compliance. We sat down at another location (separate chairs, unfortunately) with our drinks and continued the chat. She was asking a lot of questions and really engaged in the conversation. I saw an opportunity to continue escalating.
I knew that I had to distinguish myself from all the other guys out there with some good sex talk routines, unfortunately I had not brushed up on my notes/practiced on this and was unable to segway the conversation in this direction effectively. I attempted a bounce-back to my apartment with a dance lesson and plausible deniability (since she had said before that she was really interested in learning) and she refused with COVID-related objections. There was no opportunity to touch or build any kind of sexual tension.
We get up from the chairs where we had the margaritas and start walking back in the direction of my apartment. It turns out we are neighbors and our apartment buildings are about 300 meters away from each other, and as we walked by my place she continued the COVID-related objections when I persisted with the "come back to my place for a dance lesson" idea. She wouldn't even hug or touch. I stupidly attempted to force the issue by stopping her movement by stopping her bike and she said "you're freaking me out". I didn't handle this well and just said "ok, see you later".
This was a fuck up. She responded to my ice breaker text I sent that night, but ignored the rest of my follow up texts. I thought this was a done deal and I wasnt going to see her again. Indeed, this likely would have been the case if she were not my neighbor - however I was going to be lucky.
2nd daytime meet on bike - 29th of June.
2-3 weeks later, I was out on my bicycle on one of the trails close to my apartment and I randomly see her.
At first I did not recognize her since her hair was different (black girls often change their hair). In fact I passed her on the trail on my way to my destination. But after I arrived at the park I wanted to go to I looked back and saw her again - it was definitely her. I quickly caught up to her and approached and said "wanna race?" She said "excuse me?" before recognizing me, then suggested we go sit down. She picked a bench but as I sat next to her she started to complain about social distancing. This started a funny little mini discussion about how I would sit, since there was no place for me to be comfortable if I didn't sit next to her on the bench. I suggested the grass but she said she didn't want it on her skin (wtf?).
I stood up and just leaned against a post nearby for a few minutes, after this she actually got up and sat on the grass because "the sun was too intense" and said "there you happy?"
After this we both sat on the grass for 45 minutes. Unlike last time, this time I managed to transition into sex talk after starting with coronavirus and vaccines, social life during the pandemic, dating in general and during the pandemic, and finally into sex where I used the "11 orgasms" and "you dont know where your G-spot is" routine. We also revealed some details about our past dating lives.
After this time she gets up and says she will start heading back, and asks if I'm going too. I tell her I'll stay for a while longer and said "I'm happy fate brought us back together, talk to you later".
The next day, I text her.
She responds, meaning the second meet piqued her interest again. Then she texts me again - a CNN article about a 40 year old athlete that contracted Coronavirus and nearly died. This was a call back reference to the conversation we had earlier, in which I stated that her coronavirus risk was low because of her age and health.
I respond:
After this there is a short exchange about some people I know that are having gatherings of 50+ people and how excessive it is. I let this conversation thread die, then reengage about 5 days later
She doesn't respond to this. I re-engage and decide to go for the close 2 days later with a “scheduler text” in the format of Chase’s article about texting.
She responds with a shit test
Undeterred, I persist.
A day passes before she responds.
No response - I wait two days before re-engaging
Another objection/shit test. I respond a few hours later.
She responds the next day.
I accept this and respond.
After this I was going to re-engage several days later via text - but I get another lucky break and run into her outside again.
3rd brief meet outside on the street - 15th of July
This was a brief 5 minute conversation. I didn't recognize her at first since she was wearing a very elegant red dress, had her hair in a tight bun, and was wearing a surgical mask. She was walking in my direction and I was in my own world not paying attention. She opened me and when I asked her who she was she almost ejected. Realizing what was happening, I got back into the interaction, and asked her for her schedule. She confirmed the following Saturday would work for her.
That day, I text to confirm
So she flakes. True to GC style, I act unfazed and just tell her I’ll check in later
I wait one week before trying again.
No response. It’s Tuesday so I wait until Friday morning (yesterday, the day of the date) before re-engaging.
No response. I re-engage after my interview.
Over an hour passes and it's almost 9 pm. I was walking around outside doing a few approaches while waiting for her to text me. I text “status?” and don't hear back for 10-15 min. I was very close to cancelling on her with “Ok - looks like you’re busy, we can try again another time that works with your schedule”. But she finally responds.
I don't know why she picked this particular bar, so I call just to sort out some details, she picks up and we have a brief conversation, then I walk over there to meet her.
Date (Last Night)
I get to the place and there is some confusion in finding each other. Probably a good thing since she ends up waiting for me a few minutes.
When I see her, again I’m struck by her beauty. This is a high-caliber woman of the type I definitely struggle to match with on normal dating apps. Only cold approach in the field can generate these kinds of leads. She let her hair down this time and put on a tight, gold dress that hugged her body tightly and showed off her curves/legs. So, she definitely dressed up for the date. I was clean shaven, wearing a black/green button down shirt, khaki shorts, and some black platform shoes I have that I typically wear (add about an inch-inch and a half to my height, which is nice for a 5’7 latino guy).
We say hi, then I quickly go to the female server to get some big margaritas for take-out. It didn't take long for her to throw the first shit test.
She (the server) looks flustered, even under the mask she was wearing. I tell her she isn’t my type. The server then says “My boyfriend wouldn't like it”.
We get out drinks and walk away to drink them outside somewhere on a table. As we are walking she presses on -
She laughs a lot at that last bit and brings it up again a few times later in the date.
We find a good table to have our margaritas and sit down. We are out there for at least 90 minutes chatting. It’s impossible to recount everything we talked about but there are a few highlights:
Other topics discussed included pest control since there were cockroaches out (I was unfazed by them but she recoiled in fear at seeing them crawl around next to our table(, having pets since a dude came with a cute dog that was walking around, “her: you should get a dog so I can pet it”, what we’ll do after COVID, and some of my recent professional successes (I am doing well career-wise these days and decided to share a few details).
I also go into some routines I typically do during dates --
That last one almost worked too well - it could feel the frame shift in that moment.
When we finally do finish our drinks, I realize I have no plan for what to do, which is classic newbie mistake. It’s a catch-22 because I got the date telling her I wouldn't break the “COVID rules”, which I felt limited my options for escalation. It’s close to midnight and many places are closed already, even for take out. COVID limits what is open late at night severely. We get up and start walking back in the direction of our apartment buildings. There is some incidental touch as we are walking side by side.
I float a couple of possibilities for extending the date - continue the walk, or get another drink somewhere. She says she’s drunk and she’ll pass out if she has another drink. She also objects to continuing the walk since “it’s dark”.
I put up some minor persistence but then drop it when I realize there really are no good options (unless I were to invite her to my place again, which I didn't even try this time). She suggests we continue again tomorrow. I tell her I have plans. She says another time, or “if we don't meet again that’s fine too”. I tell her another time. I walk her back to her place and make a motion to hug her as we get close - she tells me to back off with COVID objections. I walk her to her door and she tells me to text her when I get home and says “see you later buddy” (adding the “buddy” to tease me).
I get home and I dont text.
This morning I get texts from her:
There is potential for a second date, but I need a plan next time. I need to escalate but I have no idea how with the amount of COVID-objections she throws at me…..
TL//DR version: Met a girl outside on a park bench, did instant date, she never responds to my texts until I meet her outside again by chance, persist over several weeks to finally get the date, fun date, no escalation but potential for future meets, heavy COVID-objections.
1st meet - instant date on 12th of June
Like I said, it was a fast hook and I was able to challenge her and engage her. We spent about an hour chatting on a park bench where I initially approached, then I transitioned over to a bar with take out margaritas and built some good compliance. We sat down at another location (separate chairs, unfortunately) with our drinks and continued the chat. She was asking a lot of questions and really engaged in the conversation. I saw an opportunity to continue escalating.
I knew that I had to distinguish myself from all the other guys out there with some good sex talk routines, unfortunately I had not brushed up on my notes/practiced on this and was unable to segway the conversation in this direction effectively. I attempted a bounce-back to my apartment with a dance lesson and plausible deniability (since she had said before that she was really interested in learning) and she refused with COVID-related objections. There was no opportunity to touch or build any kind of sexual tension.
We get up from the chairs where we had the margaritas and start walking back in the direction of my apartment. It turns out we are neighbors and our apartment buildings are about 300 meters away from each other, and as we walked by my place she continued the COVID-related objections when I persisted with the "come back to my place for a dance lesson" idea. She wouldn't even hug or touch. I stupidly attempted to force the issue by stopping her movement by stopping her bike and she said "you're freaking me out". I didn't handle this well and just said "ok, see you later".
This was a fuck up. She responded to my ice breaker text I sent that night, but ignored the rest of my follow up texts. I thought this was a done deal and I wasnt going to see her again. Indeed, this likely would have been the case if she were not my neighbor - however I was going to be lucky.
2nd daytime meet on bike - 29th of June.
2-3 weeks later, I was out on my bicycle on one of the trails close to my apartment and I randomly see her.
At first I did not recognize her since her hair was different (black girls often change their hair). In fact I passed her on the trail on my way to my destination. But after I arrived at the park I wanted to go to I looked back and saw her again - it was definitely her. I quickly caught up to her and approached and said "wanna race?" She said "excuse me?" before recognizing me, then suggested we go sit down. She picked a bench but as I sat next to her she started to complain about social distancing. This started a funny little mini discussion about how I would sit, since there was no place for me to be comfortable if I didn't sit next to her on the bench. I suggested the grass but she said she didn't want it on her skin (wtf?).
I stood up and just leaned against a post nearby for a few minutes, after this she actually got up and sat on the grass because "the sun was too intense" and said "there you happy?"
After this we both sat on the grass for 45 minutes. Unlike last time, this time I managed to transition into sex talk after starting with coronavirus and vaccines, social life during the pandemic, dating in general and during the pandemic, and finally into sex where I used the "11 orgasms" and "you dont know where your G-spot is" routine. We also revealed some details about our past dating lives.
After this time she gets up and says she will start heading back, and asks if I'm going too. I tell her I'll stay for a while longer and said "I'm happy fate brought us back together, talk to you later".
The next day, I text her.
She responds, meaning the second meet piqued her interest again. Then she texts me again - a CNN article about a 40 year old athlete that contracted Coronavirus and nearly died. This was a call back reference to the conversation we had earlier, in which I stated that her coronavirus risk was low because of her age and health.
I respond:
After this there is a short exchange about some people I know that are having gatherings of 50+ people and how excessive it is. I let this conversation thread die, then reengage about 5 days later
She doesn't respond to this. I re-engage and decide to go for the close 2 days later with a “scheduler text” in the format of Chase’s article about texting.
She responds with a shit test
Undeterred, I persist.
A day passes before she responds.
No response - I wait two days before re-engaging
Another objection/shit test. I respond a few hours later.
She responds the next day.
I accept this and respond.
After this I was going to re-engage several days later via text - but I get another lucky break and run into her outside again.
3rd brief meet outside on the street - 15th of July
This was a brief 5 minute conversation. I didn't recognize her at first since she was wearing a very elegant red dress, had her hair in a tight bun, and was wearing a surgical mask. She was walking in my direction and I was in my own world not paying attention. She opened me and when I asked her who she was she almost ejected. Realizing what was happening, I got back into the interaction, and asked her for her schedule. She confirmed the following Saturday would work for her.
That day, I text to confirm
So she flakes. True to GC style, I act unfazed and just tell her I’ll check in later
I wait one week before trying again.
No response. It’s Tuesday so I wait until Friday morning (yesterday, the day of the date) before re-engaging.
No response. I re-engage after my interview.
Over an hour passes and it's almost 9 pm. I was walking around outside doing a few approaches while waiting for her to text me. I text “status?” and don't hear back for 10-15 min. I was very close to cancelling on her with “Ok - looks like you’re busy, we can try again another time that works with your schedule”. But she finally responds.
I don't know why she picked this particular bar, so I call just to sort out some details, she picks up and we have a brief conversation, then I walk over there to meet her.
Date (Last Night)
I get to the place and there is some confusion in finding each other. Probably a good thing since she ends up waiting for me a few minutes.
When I see her, again I’m struck by her beauty. This is a high-caliber woman of the type I definitely struggle to match with on normal dating apps. Only cold approach in the field can generate these kinds of leads. She let her hair down this time and put on a tight, gold dress that hugged her body tightly and showed off her curves/legs. So, she definitely dressed up for the date. I was clean shaven, wearing a black/green button down shirt, khaki shorts, and some black platform shoes I have that I typically wear (add about an inch-inch and a half to my height, which is nice for a 5’7 latino guy).
We say hi, then I quickly go to the female server to get some big margaritas for take-out. It didn't take long for her to throw the first shit test.
She (the server) looks flustered, even under the mask she was wearing. I tell her she isn’t my type. The server then says “My boyfriend wouldn't like it”.
We get out drinks and walk away to drink them outside somewhere on a table. As we are walking she presses on -
She laughs a lot at that last bit and brings it up again a few times later in the date.
We find a good table to have our margaritas and sit down. We are out there for at least 90 minutes chatting. It’s impossible to recount everything we talked about but there are a few highlights:
Other topics discussed included pest control since there were cockroaches out (I was unfazed by them but she recoiled in fear at seeing them crawl around next to our table(, having pets since a dude came with a cute dog that was walking around, “her: you should get a dog so I can pet it”, what we’ll do after COVID, and some of my recent professional successes (I am doing well career-wise these days and decided to share a few details).
I also go into some routines I typically do during dates --
That last one almost worked too well - it could feel the frame shift in that moment.
When we finally do finish our drinks, I realize I have no plan for what to do, which is classic newbie mistake. It’s a catch-22 because I got the date telling her I wouldn't break the “COVID rules”, which I felt limited my options for escalation. It’s close to midnight and many places are closed already, even for take out. COVID limits what is open late at night severely. We get up and start walking back in the direction of our apartment buildings. There is some incidental touch as we are walking side by side.
I float a couple of possibilities for extending the date - continue the walk, or get another drink somewhere. She says she’s drunk and she’ll pass out if she has another drink. She also objects to continuing the walk since “it’s dark”.
I put up some minor persistence but then drop it when I realize there really are no good options (unless I were to invite her to my place again, which I didn't even try this time). She suggests we continue again tomorrow. I tell her I have plans. She says another time, or “if we don't meet again that’s fine too”. I tell her another time. I walk her back to her place and make a motion to hug her as we get close - she tells me to back off with COVID objections. I walk her to her door and she tells me to text her when I get home and says “see you later buddy” (adding the “buddy” to tease me).
I get home and I dont text.
This morning I get texts from her:
There is potential for a second date, but I need a plan next time. I need to escalate but I have no idea how with the amount of COVID-objections she throws at me…..
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