- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 773
I’m going to put more details in my journal but in the last few weeks with the free time from being unemployed (I’ve managed to get a new job starting in two weeks) I have been approaching more than ever before. I think I’ve approached something like 60 women over the last two weeks (and have gotten one instadate, one date (this FR) and another date Monday.
The Approach
This was my last approach for the day. The others had been so-so (one blowout, one had a partner but we had a great interaction and she added me on facebook so we could catch up for coffee (I haven’t messaged her about this yet). Other was a younger girl who was genuinely flattered but then left abruptly. Was trying to hit a target of four and saw her walking down some steps (in a beautiful yellow/black top and jeans) in my periphery as I was walking another direction. I turned around and headed up the stairs, faking being in my own world. Gave her a quick glance as I walked past and then looped back and complemented her on her fashion sense “Hey, I just noticed you and I had to say that I absolutely love your sense of style – I just had to come and say something”. She hooked immediately, I could tell she was a bit older (guessed early 30s) but still cute (I couldn’t see her actual face, masks are still mandatory where I live, but it’s still possible to get a sense for who’s cute even with masks on). However, what I have been doing is walking around with an empty coffee cup with my mask down, taking fake swigs occasionally. I’ve found the approaches go a lot smoother when they can see my face even if I can’t see theirs, and they don’t seem to mind. Also this isn’t irresponsible, we haven't had a single case in my city for a long time now so the fact that masks are still mandatory is bullshit anyway.
I immediately got her logistics, she was meeting up with friends for drinks. Did a quick back and forth but I ejected early, setting myself a fake time constraint that I had to go but saying we should grab a drink sometime. She asked which suburb I lived in and even though it was still quite far from hers, she enthusiastically agreed to meet me there. I failed to qualify her, something I beat myself up about as I was walking away. At this point, even though I got a result and enthusiastic response, it’s not enough and I should be running the interactions consistently, qualifying and teasing more because while this works for girls who are into me, it doesn’t work for girls who are more on the fence (sticking point)
Sent the icebreaker, she responded saying how impressed she was with my confidence. I tried thinking of a response that didn’t show I did this frequently but also didn’t put her on a pedestal and came up with this:
“Seeing someone that well put together I would have been a fool not to
”.
I feel that using “someone” instead of “you” is intentionally ambiguous and hints at the fact that I am confident enough to do this with many girls, while also making her feel special by not explicitly saying so. At least in my mind.
The Date
We texted back and forth (mainly me answering her questions about my day, tried to consciously make an effort to match her interest level by responding with the same frequency to make sure she didn’t go into autorejection but got her schedule as soon as I could and set up a meet.
Made a booking for a nice rooftop bar just down the road from mine and got there. When I saw her full face I was gobsmacked. She was a lot cuter than I thought she would be and looked a lot younger (like mid 20s) as well. Piercing dark eyes, beautiful pale skin, long jet black hair, cute but sultry. I would have guessed an Italian background but later found out it was Polish. I lost frame for a second and got a bit nervous (this has happened a few times, the girl has been a lot more attractive than I’ve expected and I’ve fumbled)
She was visibly excited. We went upstairs, and chatted. I clumsily asked her age at some point (she was actually 33, again, gobsmacked. I thought she was 25/26). We joked about 2020 and how nuts it has been, told each other all about our history of living elsewhere, shitty roommates. Her one was a guy she lived with who was a tinder creep. He did sound sleazy when she described him. But at one point she dropped this: “And you want to know what the weirdest thing was? He would keep a record of every girl he slept with”. I told her yeah that was weird, but felt a bit uncomfortable knowing that I detail every single interaction I have with every girl I meet..
We were sitting opposite eachother on stools, which was annoying. And because you had to book in advance, I couldn’t really move her around. She told me about a comedy blog she started (she’s actually a really cool chick and I felt myself genuinely smiling to myself like an idiot when she was talking about it – then told myself to cool it! And keep it together!). I used this as an excuse to say “we should watch one of those videos right now” on my phone, so I could pull my stool up next to hers and get closer, but she refused.
As luck would have it, the bar staff moved us to another table (not really sure why). It still had stools but this time I took the stool right next to her. I made sure to mirror her body language and not lean to face her too much. Again, consciously trying to match interest. I would turn my body to her just slightly more than hers to mine.
I used some stories as an excuse to touch her by putting my arm around her and pulling her in to demonstrate what the person in the story had done. I need to think of more stories/gambits to do this since it always gets a laugh and spike in attraction).
When she told me she was a Northern girl I teased her saying “I only date Southern girls, this isn’t going to work out”. This was straight from GrandPooba. I did this a few times, when she would say something I disagreed with I would playfully tell her “date over” and motion to leave which she would laugh at.
We also joked about the fact that she hypothesized that guys would be fetishizing mouths now that masks were mandatory, and I confirmed that I and many other guys actually had been (no lie, I have been, lol)
Eventually she brought up the topic of how I approached her (every girl I’ve gone on a date with from cold approach has brought it up on their own at some point, they are all curious). She told me that she had told her friends that the best thing just happened to her, they all said how awesome that was. I hope I don’t approach any of her friends at any point or that will be awkward… haha. When she asked why, I remembered something Velasco posted here:
I said something similar, but probably didn’t deliver it as well as I could. She was still impressed. Soon after, I leaned in and said softly “I’m really glad I stopped you” in a slow, sexual voice. She said “me too” in a hushed voice and we kissed. I broke the kiss first.
Pull to mine
More drinks, more chatting, we were much more physically close now. Talked about rom coms – she argued that the shit guys did in them was “romantic”. I vehemently disagreed saying that was naïve and that in real life it’s creepy what those guys do, and puts unnecessary pressure on the girls who have already broken up with them.
At this point, I said nonchalantly:
I kept teasing, we kept laughing. It was super fun.
I dropped the topic, and then when our drinks were finished she asked if I wanted another one. So I put this out there very sincerely (and I meant it):
Her smile dropped, but she agreed in a hushed voice. I think it's because she knew where this was leading, was turned on, but didn't want to break her "first date rule" and so was feeling nervous (more on this later)
We walked to mine, joking back and forth.
Inside, we cuddled up on the couch and what do you know, the remote wasn’t working! She laughed and I joked that I didn’t do it on purpose, but inside I was freaking a bit cause it did look a bit suss “oh, we can’t watch the movie, what a surprise”. But it magically started again. We didn’t end up playing anything because within minutes we were making out.
Man it felt so good. I was on top, grinding against her. This went on for a long time. She was moaning. But when I tried reaching for her pants, she would gently take my hand and lead it up. I later persisted, she did it again.
After a while she stopped and said “I can’t. I don’t do this on the first date”. I responded “That’s ok, we can still do this (referring to making out with clothes on) and got on top of her again, making out harder, being more handsy. She was moaning even more. “I can’t”. I was gentle, and tried at a few points to guide her hand to my dick, but she wouldn’t.
She told me “It’s a rule I have, so I don’t get a reputation for sleeping around”.
I told her “I feel that people should be able to do what they desire, and shouldn’t ever feel judged for it. That’s everyone elses problem.”
She started making out with me again and feeling everything, commenting on how ripped I was, complementing my hair, smile, everything.
“I want to. God I want to, but I can’t”. I’m going to order an uber. At this point pushing too hard felt unnatural and forced.
So I tried for the gentler approach “look, it’s late, why don’t you just sleep over? I promise we won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can even run to the convenience store tomorrow morning to get breakfast. It’ll be fun!"
She just said “I don’t trust myself enough”. She sounded so conflicted. But she called the Uber and it came in a minute. We kissed again, I broke it off, and she got in the Uber, texting me almost immediately that she really enjoyed the night and wanted to see me again if I was keen.
I said I wanted to see her again too, and that was last night. This is a really cool girl.
Summary
In summary, I’m glad with how well I persisted throughout the whole date. I stuck to my guns, made my interest direct and clear and she respected me for it.
Overall though, I still want to work on having more gambits/stories to use as an excuse to touch and get closer to her, since this is a weakness that, while not being as important to girls who already dig me like this one, is crucial for others. I feel like one of my dates next week is on the fence and this will be crucial. It’s a tentative daytime date also and there will be no alcohol to lower inhibitions, so will need to have a plan.
The Approach
This was my last approach for the day. The others had been so-so (one blowout, one had a partner but we had a great interaction and she added me on facebook so we could catch up for coffee (I haven’t messaged her about this yet). Other was a younger girl who was genuinely flattered but then left abruptly. Was trying to hit a target of four and saw her walking down some steps (in a beautiful yellow/black top and jeans) in my periphery as I was walking another direction. I turned around and headed up the stairs, faking being in my own world. Gave her a quick glance as I walked past and then looped back and complemented her on her fashion sense “Hey, I just noticed you and I had to say that I absolutely love your sense of style – I just had to come and say something”. She hooked immediately, I could tell she was a bit older (guessed early 30s) but still cute (I couldn’t see her actual face, masks are still mandatory where I live, but it’s still possible to get a sense for who’s cute even with masks on). However, what I have been doing is walking around with an empty coffee cup with my mask down, taking fake swigs occasionally. I’ve found the approaches go a lot smoother when they can see my face even if I can’t see theirs, and they don’t seem to mind. Also this isn’t irresponsible, we haven't had a single case in my city for a long time now so the fact that masks are still mandatory is bullshit anyway.
I immediately got her logistics, she was meeting up with friends for drinks. Did a quick back and forth but I ejected early, setting myself a fake time constraint that I had to go but saying we should grab a drink sometime. She asked which suburb I lived in and even though it was still quite far from hers, she enthusiastically agreed to meet me there. I failed to qualify her, something I beat myself up about as I was walking away. At this point, even though I got a result and enthusiastic response, it’s not enough and I should be running the interactions consistently, qualifying and teasing more because while this works for girls who are into me, it doesn’t work for girls who are more on the fence (sticking point)
Sent the icebreaker, she responded saying how impressed she was with my confidence. I tried thinking of a response that didn’t show I did this frequently but also didn’t put her on a pedestal and came up with this:
“Seeing someone that well put together I would have been a fool not to
”.I feel that using “someone” instead of “you” is intentionally ambiguous and hints at the fact that I am confident enough to do this with many girls, while also making her feel special by not explicitly saying so. At least in my mind.
The Date
We texted back and forth (mainly me answering her questions about my day, tried to consciously make an effort to match her interest level by responding with the same frequency to make sure she didn’t go into autorejection but got her schedule as soon as I could and set up a meet.
Made a booking for a nice rooftop bar just down the road from mine and got there. When I saw her full face I was gobsmacked. She was a lot cuter than I thought she would be and looked a lot younger (like mid 20s) as well. Piercing dark eyes, beautiful pale skin, long jet black hair, cute but sultry. I would have guessed an Italian background but later found out it was Polish. I lost frame for a second and got a bit nervous (this has happened a few times, the girl has been a lot more attractive than I’ve expected and I’ve fumbled)
She was visibly excited. We went upstairs, and chatted. I clumsily asked her age at some point (she was actually 33, again, gobsmacked. I thought she was 25/26). We joked about 2020 and how nuts it has been, told each other all about our history of living elsewhere, shitty roommates. Her one was a guy she lived with who was a tinder creep. He did sound sleazy when she described him. But at one point she dropped this: “And you want to know what the weirdest thing was? He would keep a record of every girl he slept with”. I told her yeah that was weird, but felt a bit uncomfortable knowing that I detail every single interaction I have with every girl I meet..
We were sitting opposite eachother on stools, which was annoying. And because you had to book in advance, I couldn’t really move her around. She told me about a comedy blog she started (she’s actually a really cool chick and I felt myself genuinely smiling to myself like an idiot when she was talking about it – then told myself to cool it! And keep it together!). I used this as an excuse to say “we should watch one of those videos right now” on my phone, so I could pull my stool up next to hers and get closer, but she refused.
As luck would have it, the bar staff moved us to another table (not really sure why). It still had stools but this time I took the stool right next to her. I made sure to mirror her body language and not lean to face her too much. Again, consciously trying to match interest. I would turn my body to her just slightly more than hers to mine.
I used some stories as an excuse to touch her by putting my arm around her and pulling her in to demonstrate what the person in the story had done. I need to think of more stories/gambits to do this since it always gets a laugh and spike in attraction).
When she told me she was a Northern girl I teased her saying “I only date Southern girls, this isn’t going to work out”. This was straight from GrandPooba. I did this a few times, when she would say something I disagreed with I would playfully tell her “date over” and motion to leave which she would laugh at.
We also joked about the fact that she hypothesized that guys would be fetishizing mouths now that masks were mandatory, and I confirmed that I and many other guys actually had been (no lie, I have been, lol)
Eventually she brought up the topic of how I approached her (every girl I’ve gone on a date with from cold approach has brought it up on their own at some point, they are all curious). She told me that she had told her friends that the best thing just happened to her, they all said how awesome that was. I hope I don’t approach any of her friends at any point or that will be awkward… haha. When she asked why, I remembered something Velasco posted here:
I said something similar, but probably didn’t deliver it as well as I could. She was still impressed. Soon after, I leaned in and said softly “I’m really glad I stopped you” in a slow, sexual voice. She said “me too” in a hushed voice and we kissed. I broke the kiss first.
Pull to mine
More drinks, more chatting, we were much more physically close now. Talked about rom coms – she argued that the shit guys did in them was “romantic”. I vehemently disagreed saying that was naïve and that in real life it’s creepy what those guys do, and puts unnecessary pressure on the girls who have already broken up with them.
At this point, I said nonchalantly:
I kept teasing, we kept laughing. It was super fun.
I dropped the topic, and then when our drinks were finished she asked if I wanted another one. So I put this out there very sincerely (and I meant it):
Her smile dropped, but she agreed in a hushed voice. I think it's because she knew where this was leading, was turned on, but didn't want to break her "first date rule" and so was feeling nervous (more on this later)
We walked to mine, joking back and forth.
Inside, we cuddled up on the couch and what do you know, the remote wasn’t working! She laughed and I joked that I didn’t do it on purpose, but inside I was freaking a bit cause it did look a bit suss “oh, we can’t watch the movie, what a surprise”. But it magically started again. We didn’t end up playing anything because within minutes we were making out.
Man it felt so good. I was on top, grinding against her. This went on for a long time. She was moaning. But when I tried reaching for her pants, she would gently take my hand and lead it up. I later persisted, she did it again.
After a while she stopped and said “I can’t. I don’t do this on the first date”. I responded “That’s ok, we can still do this (referring to making out with clothes on) and got on top of her again, making out harder, being more handsy. She was moaning even more. “I can’t”. I was gentle, and tried at a few points to guide her hand to my dick, but she wouldn’t.
She told me “It’s a rule I have, so I don’t get a reputation for sleeping around”.
I told her “I feel that people should be able to do what they desire, and shouldn’t ever feel judged for it. That’s everyone elses problem.”
She started making out with me again and feeling everything, commenting on how ripped I was, complementing my hair, smile, everything.
“I want to. God I want to, but I can’t”. I’m going to order an uber. At this point pushing too hard felt unnatural and forced.
So I tried for the gentler approach “look, it’s late, why don’t you just sleep over? I promise we won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can even run to the convenience store tomorrow morning to get breakfast. It’ll be fun!"
She just said “I don’t trust myself enough”. She sounded so conflicted. But she called the Uber and it came in a minute. We kissed again, I broke it off, and she got in the Uber, texting me almost immediately that she really enjoyed the night and wanted to see me again if I was keen.
I said I wanted to see her again too, and that was last night. This is a really cool girl.
Summary
In summary, I’m glad with how well I persisted throughout the whole date. I stuck to my guns, made my interest direct and clear and she respected me for it.
Overall though, I still want to work on having more gambits/stories to use as an excuse to touch and get closer to her, since this is a weakness that, while not being as important to girls who already dig me like this one, is crucial for others. I feel like one of my dates next week is on the fence and this will be crucial. It’s a tentative daytime date also and there will be no alcohol to lower inhibitions, so will need to have a plan.
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