- Joined
- May 21, 2023
- Messages
- 556
Here's a small tweak that I guarantee will make your daygame approaches go more smoothly, especially for guys (like me) who have an ingrained habit of talking too quickly.
When you go up to a girl, instead of just belting out your opener:
You: Excusemeijusthadtocomeandtellyouithinkyourereallybeautiful
HB: *Shocked* Oh, thank you. But I'm in a hurry. I have to go now. Bye.
Try this:
You: (Walking slightly past her to get her noticing you peripherally, then with a wave and a friendly smile) Hi!
HB: *Surprised Pikachu face* Hi
You: (Strong eye contact and smile as if you're greeting an old friend) How are you?
HB: *Puzzled* I'm good, thanks. Um...
You: Listen, I saw you over there (points just behind, making her turn to look back), and I just had to come and tell you...
2 second pause
You: That you...
Anticipation builds
You: *Cheeky sly half-grin* Are...
Pause again, milking the tension
You: (Spoken slowly with a warm, soft smile) Really beautiful
HB: *Relieved, blushing* Oh (laughs) Thank you
You: I noticed you have a really well put together outfit and it grabbed my attention. So I just wanted to come and say hello. Hi, I'm Atlas (extends hand)
HB: I'm Jane
Warm hand clasp, strong eye contact, pause another couple of seconds, then go into assumption stacking until she hooks.
What I've found is that the opener is overwhelmingly the most important part of the approach. It sets the vibe and determines how well the rest of the interaction goes.
Most girls will decide within a few seconds whether she likes you or not, and generally if you delivered the opener well (and fundamentals are solid), the rest of it will go smoothly. If you didn't deliver it well, and the opener was rushed/awkward, then she will feel an urge to leave, and the rest of the interaction will go to shit.
And I have also found that the way in which I deliver the opener matters far more than the opener itself.
For example, whether I compliment her about her fashion, her style of walk, ask her if she's single, tell her she looks like my ex, or simply tell her that I think she looks great - I honestly can't say from experience that any one of these is any more effective than the others (so when I approach girls now I don't even think about what I'm going to say).
What really matters is the emotional impact of it, and that is determined fully by your fundamentals and your control of tension and release.
Most of the time she won't even remember what you said. But she will remember the excitement she felt in that moment.
So if you're finding it difficult to get hooks in daygame, try slooowing it down. Even to the point that it feels weird and unnatural for you. Then, as you get used to that speed, you can calibrate to find your natural pace.
When you go up to a girl, instead of just belting out your opener:
You: Excusemeijusthadtocomeandtellyouithinkyourereallybeautiful
HB: *Shocked* Oh, thank you. But I'm in a hurry. I have to go now. Bye.
Try this:
You: (Walking slightly past her to get her noticing you peripherally, then with a wave and a friendly smile) Hi!
HB: *Surprised Pikachu face* Hi
You: (Strong eye contact and smile as if you're greeting an old friend) How are you?
HB: *Puzzled* I'm good, thanks. Um...
You: Listen, I saw you over there (points just behind, making her turn to look back), and I just had to come and tell you...
2 second pause
You: That you...
Anticipation builds
You: *Cheeky sly half-grin* Are...
Pause again, milking the tension
You: (Spoken slowly with a warm, soft smile) Really beautiful
HB: *Relieved, blushing* Oh (laughs) Thank you
You: I noticed you have a really well put together outfit and it grabbed my attention. So I just wanted to come and say hello. Hi, I'm Atlas (extends hand)
HB: I'm Jane
Warm hand clasp, strong eye contact, pause another couple of seconds, then go into assumption stacking until she hooks.
What I've found is that the opener is overwhelmingly the most important part of the approach. It sets the vibe and determines how well the rest of the interaction goes.
Most girls will decide within a few seconds whether she likes you or not, and generally if you delivered the opener well (and fundamentals are solid), the rest of it will go smoothly. If you didn't deliver it well, and the opener was rushed/awkward, then she will feel an urge to leave, and the rest of the interaction will go to shit.
And I have also found that the way in which I deliver the opener matters far more than the opener itself.
For example, whether I compliment her about her fashion, her style of walk, ask her if she's single, tell her she looks like my ex, or simply tell her that I think she looks great - I honestly can't say from experience that any one of these is any more effective than the others (so when I approach girls now I don't even think about what I'm going to say).
What really matters is the emotional impact of it, and that is determined fully by your fundamentals and your control of tension and release.
Most of the time she won't even remember what you said. But she will remember the excitement she felt in that moment.
So if you're finding it difficult to get hooks in daygame, try slooowing it down. Even to the point that it feels weird and unnatural for you. Then, as you get used to that speed, you can calibrate to find your natural pace.
