Dealing with Age Difference (20-somethings)

[Speedy]

Hello all,

I have been reading a lot of articles on the site lately and have been making a ton of improvement in the way I approach women. It truly is a great feeling to use the techniques described to achieve positive results. After spending too much of my time in my 20's in long term relationships I have really been stepping up my game and embracing the single life. The material on the site and the forum has been really helpful (thanks!)

I turned 28 a few months back and feel like I am playing catch up for what I missed being committed during my early and mid twenties. One thing I have noticed is when approaching girls who are say 21-24 the topic of age can be a difficult one to discuss. I know it's only a few years difference, but sometimes when I tell a girl I am 28, their attitude towards me changes. I have even heard things like "wow you're old."

To me this is just the girl being immature and maybe even sign that they are not worth my time, but it can be frustrating when the age topic derails an interaction that seems to be going well. I know some people who will flat out lie and say they are 3-4 years younger, but I really can't bring myself to do that. Partly because I am an honest person and partly because I feel it would be too much effort to keep up the lie (adjusting college graduation year, job entry year etc).

I also have a friend who is 30 and handles the questions as such:

Girl "so old are you?"
Guy "how old do you think I am"
Girl "26"
Guy "That's a really good guess!"...moves on to another conversation topic

His theory is that the girl is projecting the age she would like him to be. Also, he is not confirming or denying she is correct and therefore not lying.

What do you guys think of this technique?

Does anyone have any other techniques for dealing with this situation?

Maybe I am over thinking this one but it just seems lately the girls I have been meeting and having success with are in that early 20's age range. The girls my own age I meet tend to be married or in serious relationships.

Any advice/thoughts/comments would be much appreciated. Thanks

-Speedy

 

[Richard]

This one is a lot of fun my friend!

What your friend does is something from Kokology (I'll be writing an in-depth) article on that sometime relatively soon. Anyway your friends idea is true, she's projecting not the age he looks or acts, but the most acceptable age she is willing to connect with.

Basically, the idea is that every person has pre-conceived attitudes, and that question happens to be one that reveals that attitude.

I deal with age problems all the time, and use a similar method, usually I'm younger, and they are older. I'm 18, and they're usually around 21-24, oldest being 27

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey Speedy,

Girl "so old are you?"
Guy "how old do you think I am"
Girl "26"
Guy "That's a really good guess!"...moves on to another conversation topic

This is good. A couple of other ideas spring to mind from Chase's e-book:

Write down “dismissal, “selfdeprecation”, “invitational”, and “matter of fact with undertones” on a piece of paper, and take that with you. If you’re having trouble coming up with responses that fall into these categories off the top of your head, take some time to write down some of the most common things you’re hearing from women right now, and how you’d respond in each of our four productive ways. For instance, you might be hearing:

“How old are you?”

Fairly often now, either because you’re talking to some women younger than you, or some older than you – or both, if you’re going out frequently and meeting lots of women! So you might write:

Dismissal: Old enough. So how do you spend your time in a big town like this..?

SelfDeprecating (older): Well, let’s just say when your father and I used to play football in high school... [smile and wink]

SelfDeprecating (younger): Well, I’ll be able to join the army pretty soon, but it’s still going to be against the law for me to drink

Invitational: Come a little closer and I’ll tell you, young lady.

MatterofFace with Undertones: I’m twentyeight [said in a whisper as you lean in with a seductive smile].

As you use these kinds of responses more, you’ll begin coming up with your own replies and using them on the fly in response to novel challenges from women and things you haven’t heard before. It’s like learning a formula in algebra – once you know how to use the formula, you can solve problems you haven’t seen before.

Jake

 

[Speedy]

Thanks fellas. I've got a date lined up for Thursday with an HB8 who is in college (I am assuming she is at least 21 since we met at a bar on Saturday). I will be sure to keep these tactics in mind if the age issue comes up. Cheers

-Speedy