I think primarily one thing that helps with dealing with difficult kids is remembering that they have a chance, and that here’s a lot of hope to affect them positively and for them to change for the better (as opposed to regular people who are fat or stupid or lazy or whatever and are much more likely to be fixed that way for the rest of their lives).
Kids are impressionable. And they’re a lot more rooted to their essence and to who they are/their inner selves than most adults are I think.
I was reading something the other day from this powerlifter who runs a blog; anyway he was talking about how when he was a kid they’d eat a lot of junk food and basically the same crap that many of the kids do now. But they were fit and in shape because they were being active, and would spend the days biking everywhere, playing baseball and football and soccer, and running throwing shit at cars and stuff.
If I could give advice or at least what I’d try to do in your shoes, is try to get involved with your brother in what he’s doing a bit like a friend hanging out. Try to play with him, spend time with him, be a good listener and don’t reprimand him order him or tell him things to do or suggest things and shit.
Spend some time with him and just listen and hang out, maybe ask him questions about what he’s playing with. That way he can grow to trust you and you can get along more. Additionally from there (back to what I mentioned earlier) if you can transition to playing something outside: kicking a soccer ball around or running or shooting baskets or playing catch or something go to that and have fun with him doing it.
One last thing that comes to my mind is that when you do have to get him to do something and it’s important (like not eat chips, or not eat dessert till after dinner): it would be wise to go about it like you do convincing a woman and being persistent with them. “Come on we’ll get to do that, but right now we gotta do THIS” and pulling his hand and taking him to go play outside or run out with you and eat some fruit.
In a lot of ways women are like little kids come to think of it; and how I deal with kids is similar to how I deal with women (minus sex lol).
Be a good listener, deep dive them, don’t say a lot from your end or talk about divisive topics, be amiable and nice to be around and refreshingly different from the other adults (just like you are refreshingly different from other men when you are with a girl). And you can sort of convince them and poke them and prod them implicitly and indirectly to get them to do what you want like you would with women (the flipside of chasing a girl I think here would be begging and pleading with a kid; unproductive just as getting angry and demanding would be unproductive too as would be with women… the catering to emotions and implicit getting them do stuff is more fitting there).
Good luck; I make friends with kids a lot of the time without meaning to… maybe it’s a bit harder to do this stuff if you don’t like kids as much or aren’t as comfortable with them, but it’s definitely learnable IMO and not a far stretch from seduction as a skill.
-Gem
