Whenever I'm talking with a girl and another I feel as though I'm automatically in a competition with the other guy. (I guess because I'm really competitive in general) I see him vibing (it seems like it to me) with the girl and I become discouraged (and I become more quiet and tend to agree with the other male for some reason) because I don't know what to do. Is my way of thinking wrong or is it inexperience?
Dealing with other male competition! What do I do?
- Thread starter dsdezzy
- Start date
I wouldn't compare myself to other guys. She is a girl, by nature she is attracted to other guys. If she is pretty she has lots of choices, she can chose.
Are you bigger, better looking? Good. Do you excercise, take care of yourself, look strong and confident? Great. Do you have lots of PUA/Seduction knowledge? Even better.
If that is the case you know that attraction/vibing is far away from "good enough". She may be attracted to many guys and she can easily vibe with any guy. It is her nature to vibe with guys. But most of these guys don't know what to do. They ask for her number. They want to take it slowly. They worry about conversation skills, what to say, how and when. They are afraid to touch. They orbit. They put her on a pedestal. They worry about competition. They have no strategy. They don't push for sex.
All these guys are predictable, she knows right away who they are because she sees this behavior in every single guy.
But there comes the exception: You. You don't care with how many guys she vibes with. You don't worry whether she leaves with them because you have abundance mentality. You don't care about great conversation skills because you know that a good touch is more powerful than thousand of words. You don't orbit, never. You don't put her on a pedestal. You have a strategy, you know that you have to be moving, leading her, getting physical and pushing for sex...
How can they compete with you? Most can't, most don't even have a clue...
Are you bigger, better looking? Good. Do you excercise, take care of yourself, look strong and confident? Great. Do you have lots of PUA/Seduction knowledge? Even better.
If that is the case you know that attraction/vibing is far away from "good enough". She may be attracted to many guys and she can easily vibe with any guy. It is her nature to vibe with guys. But most of these guys don't know what to do. They ask for her number. They want to take it slowly. They worry about conversation skills, what to say, how and when. They are afraid to touch. They orbit. They put her on a pedestal. They worry about competition. They have no strategy. They don't push for sex.
All these guys are predictable, she knows right away who they are because she sees this behavior in every single guy.
But there comes the exception: You. You don't care with how many guys she vibes with. You don't worry whether she leaves with them because you have abundance mentality. You don't care about great conversation skills because you know that a good touch is more powerful than thousand of words. You don't orbit, never. You don't put her on a pedestal. You have a strategy, you know that you have to be moving, leading her, getting physical and pushing for sex...
How can they compete with you? Most can't, most don't even have a clue...
It all depends... on what is your overall confidence level, how old are you, how much experience with girls you have and so on...
If you don't have much experience, or even none, try to get some girls as a friend. Talk without any sexual or romantic intentions, listen what are they talking about and how. Talk with them about their BFs, see what they say. You'll learn a lot just by being around and your confidence will raise
If you are too uptight (anxious) and have difficulties touching people or being touched in general, get a massage. Relax and meditate. Get used to being touched
If you already have some experience but are shy to touch or look at hot girls, get a friend and go to some decent strip bar. Look and touch, talk, who cares what you say. Get a lap dance, it cost some money but the exposure/experience worths it
If you have good confidence, decent experience with girls but still can't get laid and your age is pushing you into a frustration, just get a prostitute. Remove all the romanticism of "Nice Guy", nail her the way you want, or let her do the job
Also work on personal Belief system. Once you believe that you are confident and attractive, that you have a great value as a sexual man, it becomes relatively easy to talk to and to nail decent girl(s)
Overall, any exposure to girls is good to get the experience, including approaching. On the other hand, I don't like the "approaching" mode because it implies that you will approach some strange girl most likely in highly energized state (because you are inexperienced), get a quick unnatural talk with some stupid openner, present yourself as some attractive and confident man who already approached 10,000 girls, get her number - and then disappear, while calling her later on begging for date. That is how I see "approaching"
Fuck that, what a waste of time. When you are "approaching" your intention is to get a number, disappear, and then get a date. She can read your intention, she knows right away that you are inexperienced no matter how you are trying to present yourself to her
Talk to her instead. Don't see her as a stranger, see her as a person, friend. You inention should be to find out what kind of person she is, and only IF there is a vibe, only then you want to present to her as a sexual man. You should work on fundamentals, exercise, learn to be confident man BEFORE you talk to her, because that is the true natural attraction
She might be great looking or just avarage, but try to find out what kind of person she is. At first, there are no expectations (for sex or romance) at all. The vibes are at zero, it is just a friendly talk, low energy, minimal excitement. You should be like a child. I don't mean in a stupid way, but just be curious and open minded, just like a child who is exploring the world around. Don't present yourself as attractive and dominant man, don't try to look too confident and too experienced, and don't try to be too sexy - because this way you are setting up high expectations. You then have to prove to her that these expectations are right, and if you don't reach them with your actions she will dump you; you won't get second date. It is much better to start low and climb up slowly high then start like a star and fall down because of inexperience
Just be an average friendly guy, don't try to "look" confident - be confident by your actions. Then, if there is a good vibe, you should assume that she is interested. Now you shift your geers up. Now you start expecting sex and romance, now there is some excitement. Now you start moving and leading, showing dominance, showing that you are the one in charge. Now you start touching, showing that you are sexual man. If you don't have guts to push further, get a number and disappear, otherwise just keep rolling as far as you can. No, push yourself one step further
She may actually be quite surpriced by your fast advances. You might be persistant and pushing but nevertheless, she might reject all of your advances on the first date. Don't get upset, don't show any negative emotions. Many times she just needs some time to make up her mind as her mind wasn't setup on "fast" action. If she is attracted to you and thinks that you are truly dominant and sexy, she will gladly go for second date. She will beg for it
See, many guys do this:
He "appear" dominant and sexy, he appears very attractive and confident, he appears as experienced. Then there are vibes between him and the girl. She then gives him a window for action so he can prove his sexyness and attractiveness - but he pull back because he really have no experience or confidence... She then dumps his ass because she sees him as a fake; he doesn't get second date
Do it differently:
Appear as an average (but always work on fundamentals so your natural attraction goes up). Don't try to look attractive, show minimal confidence in your appearance, don't try to be dominant. Then once there are vibes, focus on ACTIONS: You setup a date. You touch her first. You decide where to go, you make decisions what to do. You suggest your place. ACTIONS are strong language by itself, they are much louder than words and appearance. You don't have to pretend to be confident, you prove your confidence by DOING...
If you don't have much experience, or even none, try to get some girls as a friend. Talk without any sexual or romantic intentions, listen what are they talking about and how. Talk with them about their BFs, see what they say. You'll learn a lot just by being around and your confidence will raise
If you are too uptight (anxious) and have difficulties touching people or being touched in general, get a massage. Relax and meditate. Get used to being touched
If you already have some experience but are shy to touch or look at hot girls, get a friend and go to some decent strip bar. Look and touch, talk, who cares what you say. Get a lap dance, it cost some money but the exposure/experience worths it
If you have good confidence, decent experience with girls but still can't get laid and your age is pushing you into a frustration, just get a prostitute. Remove all the romanticism of "Nice Guy", nail her the way you want, or let her do the job
Also work on personal Belief system. Once you believe that you are confident and attractive, that you have a great value as a sexual man, it becomes relatively easy to talk to and to nail decent girl(s)
Overall, any exposure to girls is good to get the experience, including approaching. On the other hand, I don't like the "approaching" mode because it implies that you will approach some strange girl most likely in highly energized state (because you are inexperienced), get a quick unnatural talk with some stupid openner, present yourself as some attractive and confident man who already approached 10,000 girls, get her number - and then disappear, while calling her later on begging for date. That is how I see "approaching"
Fuck that, what a waste of time. When you are "approaching" your intention is to get a number, disappear, and then get a date. She can read your intention, she knows right away that you are inexperienced no matter how you are trying to present yourself to her
Talk to her instead. Don't see her as a stranger, see her as a person, friend. You inention should be to find out what kind of person she is, and only IF there is a vibe, only then you want to present to her as a sexual man. You should work on fundamentals, exercise, learn to be confident man BEFORE you talk to her, because that is the true natural attraction
She might be great looking or just avarage, but try to find out what kind of person she is. At first, there are no expectations (for sex or romance) at all. The vibes are at zero, it is just a friendly talk, low energy, minimal excitement. You should be like a child. I don't mean in a stupid way, but just be curious and open minded, just like a child who is exploring the world around. Don't present yourself as attractive and dominant man, don't try to look too confident and too experienced, and don't try to be too sexy - because this way you are setting up high expectations. You then have to prove to her that these expectations are right, and if you don't reach them with your actions she will dump you; you won't get second date. It is much better to start low and climb up slowly high then start like a star and fall down because of inexperience
Just be an average friendly guy, don't try to "look" confident - be confident by your actions. Then, if there is a good vibe, you should assume that she is interested. Now you shift your geers up. Now you start expecting sex and romance, now there is some excitement. Now you start moving and leading, showing dominance, showing that you are the one in charge. Now you start touching, showing that you are sexual man. If you don't have guts to push further, get a number and disappear, otherwise just keep rolling as far as you can. No, push yourself one step further
She may actually be quite surpriced by your fast advances. You might be persistant and pushing but nevertheless, she might reject all of your advances on the first date. Don't get upset, don't show any negative emotions. Many times she just needs some time to make up her mind as her mind wasn't setup on "fast" action. If she is attracted to you and thinks that you are truly dominant and sexy, she will gladly go for second date. She will beg for it
See, many guys do this:
He "appear" dominant and sexy, he appears very attractive and confident, he appears as experienced. Then there are vibes between him and the girl. She then gives him a window for action so he can prove his sexyness and attractiveness - but he pull back because he really have no experience or confidence... She then dumps his ass because she sees him as a fake; he doesn't get second date
Do it differently:
Appear as an average (but always work on fundamentals so your natural attraction goes up). Don't try to look attractive, show minimal confidence in your appearance, don't try to be dominant. Then once there are vibes, focus on ACTIONS: You setup a date. You touch her first. You decide where to go, you make decisions what to do. You suggest your place. ACTIONS are strong language by itself, they are much louder than words and appearance. You don't have to pretend to be confident, you prove your confidence by DOING...