This is a frequent problem that I am experiencing and I am stumped as to how to get around it. A lot of girls I meet are "not from here" or "in town for their friend's birthday / bachelorette party." I know I should be able to turn this into an exciting one time experience but what I pretty much hear and get out of those words and delivery is "I'm unavailable." How do I push forward through this without being direct and clumsy?
Dealing With Resistance: "I'm not from here. / Just in town for the night."
- Thread starter Adam101
- Start date
You know how many times I've gotten the "I have a boyfriend line" when they didn't have a boyfriend and we end up doing it?
A lot of stuff girls throw at you is a test. If she is a cool chick then just hang out with her for the night. Even if she decided she won't sleep with you, doesn't mean she won't change her mind later.
If she really is giving as a subtle "get out of here" communication, then I would step back and look at how you are coming across.
Just focus on having fun.
I would say in response to "I'm just in town for the night," "Well then I better show you a good time so you have a good impression of us [where ever you are a from, e.g. New Yorkers, Texans, etc.]."
A lot of stuff girls throw at you is a test. If she is a cool chick then just hang out with her for the night. Even if she decided she won't sleep with you, doesn't mean she won't change her mind later.
If she really is giving as a subtle "get out of here" communication, then I would step back and look at how you are coming across.
Just focus on having fun.
I would say in response to "I'm just in town for the night," "Well then I better show you a good time so you have a good impression of us [where ever you are a from, e.g. New Yorkers, Texans, etc.]."
When you look at a girl, don't mind what she says. Only focus on her body language and her actions. If she really wants to leave, she will (Remember that she will take powerful steps away from you and give you the cold shoulder if she is in fact truly disgusted by you). Just remember that you have no excuse to bail until she actually does that.
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- Feb 5, 2014
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Read this book called the War of Art, there's a lot to learn from it in terms of dealing with and understanding the resistance within ourselves. All you're doing is rationalizing fear or allowing your fear to be amplified by the girls logistics. When you get those thoughts you just have to push through it with the thoughts that all good things are on the other side of fear.
I don't think it is a question of fear. It's more my inexperience leading me to be unable to come up with a "counter punch" you could say. Cause even when a girl doesn't move away their tone says to me in one way or another GTFO. And rather than press and chase and coming across as needy I just walk away and try to find another girl to talk to. "I have a husband / boyfriend" to me is sort of like this ultimate defense and I can't figure out how to make a crack in it. Plus not being able to deal with it is crippling my odds most likely because I find it highly doubtful that all of or even most of the women I have approached have been honest about that. Hell, the last girl I approached who told me that almost immediately turned around and went all stripper on one of the guys who was actually a part of my group. But that's a story for another time. Anyway, the only thing I've gotten so far is to basically pretend like she never said anything and to keep moving things along. But any other tips and tactics for this situation would be appreciated.
