- Joined
- Jul 17, 2013
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- 1,539
I have a vague recollection of reading, some time ago on this forum, when it was less relevant to me than now, about men who "win arguments" with women. I don't recall exactly what was said: I'm pretty sure Anatman was involved, perhaps Ross too, but I seem to remember that the belief was that having it out with a girl over some neutral, arm's-length topic, unconnected to the relationship (such as social policy, or spirituality, or women's rights and responsibilities, or people's views of other cultures, nationalities and traditions), far from spoiling relations between the couple, actually added spice to their interaction.
I think this was not just in the context of settled relationships, but flings and dalliances too.
Can anyone advise? My woman and I have an unusual way of interacting in that we are fairly egalitarian in most walks of life, but when it comes to sex, she gets off big-time on giving up control to her man. She likes to feel powerless in the bedroom and somewhat surprisingly I have discovered that I have quite the talent for fulfilling that desire, taking authority into my own hands and being quite dictatorial about how intensely, how frequently, in what way and at what moment(s) she takes her pleasure. I think we are both a little astonished that it works so well.
What I'm not sure about is whether this is a totally separate domain from the rest of our interaction, or whether there is potential to spice things up further by intentionally creating a "playfully antagonistic" dynamic outside the bedroom, for example as part of flirting or build-up to sex. As a person I definitely do not have a forceful argumentation style and am more likely to seek compromise, back down totally or avoid conflict if I sense a difference of opinion with others. I even have a habit of walking back totally uncontroversial statements which were not even challenged by the other person in the first place, a tendency which amuses my girl.
However, I am enthusiastic about certain contentious modern ideas and beliefs which I am pretty sure that she, as a well-raised Millennial, would find shocking, and though we have never disputed such issues directly, as I tend to be more the listening sort, I've occasionally wondered what would happen if I wound her up a bit. What are your thoughts on this? Better to keep things neutral and avoid conflict, or mischievously chip away at some of her unquestioned assumptions and see what I can do to channel any ensuing outrage into, let's say, positive energy? ;-)
I think this was not just in the context of settled relationships, but flings and dalliances too.
Can anyone advise? My woman and I have an unusual way of interacting in that we are fairly egalitarian in most walks of life, but when it comes to sex, she gets off big-time on giving up control to her man. She likes to feel powerless in the bedroom and somewhat surprisingly I have discovered that I have quite the talent for fulfilling that desire, taking authority into my own hands and being quite dictatorial about how intensely, how frequently, in what way and at what moment(s) she takes her pleasure. I think we are both a little astonished that it works so well.
What I'm not sure about is whether this is a totally separate domain from the rest of our interaction, or whether there is potential to spice things up further by intentionally creating a "playfully antagonistic" dynamic outside the bedroom, for example as part of flirting or build-up to sex. As a person I definitely do not have a forceful argumentation style and am more likely to seek compromise, back down totally or avoid conflict if I sense a difference of opinion with others. I even have a habit of walking back totally uncontroversial statements which were not even challenged by the other person in the first place, a tendency which amuses my girl.
However, I am enthusiastic about certain contentious modern ideas and beliefs which I am pretty sure that she, as a well-raised Millennial, would find shocking, and though we have never disputed such issues directly, as I tend to be more the listening sort, I've occasionally wondered what would happen if I wound her up a bit. What are your thoughts on this? Better to keep things neutral and avoid conflict, or mischievously chip away at some of her unquestioned assumptions and see what I can do to channel any ensuing outrage into, let's say, positive energy? ;-)
