Socializing Defining High Value Behavior

[ThePoolPlayer]

I have read about two very different ways of acting high value. One is being aloof. The other is being kind, caring, genuine and honest. I have been kind of theorizing about the two different ways of acting high value. They are both high value but for different contexts is what I am theorizing.

I read a recent post in General and it talked about this topic. It was exactly what I was already theorizing about.

I feel that people who already are perceived higher value need to act kind, genuine, and honest. Stoic not be overly reactive. FuckThis gave this advice recently and He talked about how is perceived as a very high value guy in his profession. I remember PureEvil also stating similar advice and he was in the celebrity entertainment industry or something. He was already perceived as a high value guy.

Than you have people who may have a power deficit. Meaning they are of the same value or are on a lower social rank than the other person. So they have to act aloof to make up or elevate there social value.

What do other members of the forum feel is high value behavior? I would like to learn more.

 

[johndoe]

Much of high-value behaviour is extremely relative, as it depends largely in the environment that you find yourself in. You are right that people perceived as high value already in a given context need to act warmer so they become more accessible, while people without this value boon in an environment need to keep themselves from appearing over-enthusiastic; but there are also many other factors at play that can really muddy the water. For e.g., in a life threatening situation, an over-enthusiastic first-aid person can appear high value despite themselves.

The most absolute of high-value behaviours is probably sprezzatura. Reading this article about it on GC almost a decade ago got me to pay a lot of attention to it for a long time. A lot of extremely charismatic people exude sprezzatura in their wit and actions, consciously or unconsciously. Sprezzatura is basically doing anything where, to an audience (or the other party), the result you get far outweighs the effort you put in. Here are some examples:

1. Having short, succinct comebacks to people poking fun at or insulting you. In his early years in the UFC, Conor McGregor was extremely good at this; see an example in the video below (right-click and select copy video URL, then paste it into your browser to view it). Donald Trump does this extremely well too, as did Dwayne Johnson in his early years as The Rock.
2. Being able to impose your will using minimal effort. E.g. a teacher quieting a rowdy class with nothing but a slam of his palm on the table.
3. Making a task perceived to be difficult look easy. E.g. walking up to a hot, aloof stranger and getting her number.

Sprezzatura takes a lot of practice, a keen awareness of optics, and often also an extremely sharp wit. You will find that extremely charismatic people often exude sprezzatura, consciously or unconsciously. Finding a public figure who is like this and following their exploits for an amount of time will teach you a lot about sprezzatura.

EDIT: I'd just like to add that sprezzatura is not simple aloofness, or a devil-may-care attitude. If we had to characterise it with a word, efficiency would be the most succinct.

 

[ulrich]

“High value” has many objective components like posture and confidence but also many much more subjective components like energy levels, fashion, looks and aloofness that need to be calibrated to the context.

Many (if not most) seduction texts written for beginners overplay the impact of high value behavior/alphaness/hipergamy because those concepts are easier for the beginner mind to grasp and a common pitfall for newbies.
However, the real world is slightly more complex.

As you earn experience, you will notice that being “high value” is far from a silver bullet and that you can lose women because you’re too high value/aloof/distant/unrelatable.
This is called auto-rejection… a girl rejecting herself because she feels she doesn’t have a shot with you.

At this point, it is important that you shift the focus of your seductions from showing high value to relating and connecting better with your target.
Sometimes that means showing how valuable you are and sometimes it means downplaying or rather not showing how awesome you are so the girl in question can still relate with you.

Caring shows interest and creates relatability, so you do that when a girl thinks she can’t get you or you’re too much for her.
Aloofness helps you break relatability so it is great if the girl thinks she has already gotten you, you turn the table.
Different actions with different results for different moments.