Depressed after becoming better with women, how do I cope?

[kristian]

I guess this question is for the intermediate and advanced guys. Who may have been in my shoes when they started to see results with women. But I also think newer guys, that are going through this, can relate to this.

How does game affect your interactions with old flames? What reactions do you get after meeting a girl that once, when you still where new to the art of game, refused your advances and now see your improved self? When did you realize that suddenly, you had the advantage with a girls that once turned you down or did not see you in a sexual or romantic way? How did you react once you knew that results with women had nothing to do with you, but your game?

The reason I am asking this is because as I've been improving my fundamentals I can see that girls that once knew me, suddenly see me differently. I can feel that they are checking me out, smiling more and flirting. Its like they think to themselves; "Wow, I guess I was wrong with Kristian. He is actually more sexy than I thought". This alone has given me a couple of dates, and even a lover-relationship with girls that never saw me that way before. I am also able to plow through my own approach anxiety and finally summon the courage to cold approach.

For the first time in my life I feel like I am grasping this attraction thing. For the first time in my life I realize that becoming better with women is a skill. A skill that I am improving everyday. I almost cant wait to become a master at this. And finally - after many years of frustration - being able to get this thing down once and for all.

Taking care of this has given me some amazing experiences. But the euphoria of going through this metamorphosis has a darker side. A side I never knew existed.

This new skill, that in a short time has given me the power to find quality women to date has also made me a bit bitter and hurt. And lately after having lots and lots of interactions with women through all walks of life I've becomed depressed. Because I after many years of wrong programming, I am finally realizing that everything I thought about women and courtship has been completely wrong.

I have always been the same guy. And I see myself as a good person, with a lot to offer to other people. The only thing that has changed has been my fundamentals, beliefs and game. I feel like all these girls (the ones that see me in a different way, and the ones that I get to know in my journey) are attracted to my game, not me as a person. Something that is making me a little resentful. I often think to myself "so all it takes are some fundamentals and being dominant and socially savvy. Are girls that easy?". This thought has led me to a small depression, because all I thought about women, what media, art and even the women in my life has told me is completely false.

Did you encounter this challenge as you improved with women? If so, how did you get out of it?

How did you react once you realized that getting women had a lot to do with your game? Did you get resentful of women? If so, how did you get out of it?

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Kristian,

The reason I am asking this is because as I've been improving my fundamentals I can see that girls that once knew me, suddenly see me differently. I can feel that they are checking me out, smiling more and flirting. Its like they think to themselves; "Wow, I guess I was wrong with Kristian. He is actually more sexy than I thought". This alone has given me a couple of dates, and even a lover-relationship with girls that never saw me that way before. I am also able to plow through my own approach anxiety and finally summon the courage to cold approach.

This new skill, that in a short time has given me the power to find quality women to date has also made me a bit bitter and hurt. And lately after having lots and lots of interactions with women through all walks of life I've becomed depressed. Because I after many years of wrong programming, I am finally realizing that everything I thought about women and courtship has been completely wrong.

I have always been the same guy. And I see myself as a good person, with a lot to offer to other people. The only thing that has changed has been my fundamentals, beliefs and game. I feel like all these girls (the ones that see me in a different way, and the ones that I get to know in my journey) are attracted to my game, not me as a person. Something that is making me a little resentful. I often think to myself "so all it takes are some fundamentals and being dominant and socially savvy. Are girls that easy?". This thought has led me to a small depression, because all I thought about women, what media, art and even the women in my life has told me is completely false.

The change in peoples attitudes is amazing. We all like to consider ourselves above primal instincts but the truth is it is inherent in us. For example there is one women I work with is average looking with a nice ass (I am an ass man so I commit on them regularly). One day she wore a short dress which showed off her legs. She went from average to I want to jump her right now. Women are no different then men. Certain things catch there attention. Wednesday I had on my grungy jeans and a polo shirt. I walk through a mall and got female heads turning the other way. Yesterday I work black jeans, medium purple button up shirt, and new shoe. At the grocery store I had one super babe do a double take and check me out and one woman said hi first. I also caught our receptions at work doing a double take to check me out. She also later on commented how she noticed I had lost weight.

So my point is that it is not you that didn't attract women before it was your outward appearance and we all make judgement calls based on appearance. We also find attitudes either attractive or unattractive. When you approached women before you presented the wrong attitude. They found it unattractive. Now you have learned new skills which they find attractive. Your depression comes from thinking that women don't like the real you. The truth is that they never got to know the real you because of your outward appearances. We have to make good first impressions to get women to consider getting to know the real you. They were rejecting the outward you and not the inward you.

 

[Smith]

Something that is making me a little resentful. I often think to myself "so all it takes are some fundamentals and being dominant and socially savvy. Are girls that easy?". This thought has led me to a small depression, because all I thought about women, what media, art and even the women in my life has told me is completely false

Yes you can look at it that way now that you are on the other side, but don't forget, there's always something you can learn about yourself on this journey. Women will often reflect your weakness back to you. I think once I stopped putting the main focus on women and back to my own self-development, it's less depressing and more rewarding to deal with the more fluid and emotional side of women. I've learned to embrace their emotional and illogical side and as David Deida said in his book "the way of the superior man", what women said are only true in that moment. They can tell you they love you one day and walk away the next day if they suddenly lose attraction for you. You can be bitter and depressed about this, or you can learn to be present to the moment right there when you're with her and enjoy those moments of intimacy and love but let go of any attachment you might have. It's very enlightening to live this way. You won't rely on her for your happiness but at the same time you can create something amazing together.