Desire For Mastery; Where Do I Want To Take This All And What Would It Take?

[Rage]

What's up guys; I had been sitting on my own the other day, and just sort of like reflecting and thinking about where I've come with pickup so far.

And I couldn’t help but be kind of angry and extremely dissatisfied with where I’m at so far.

I was thinking to myself that “man I fucking suck where I am right now and potentially I have so much further that I want to go and could go with all this and am I really doing all I possibly can to work towards that?”

People personally have different goals of their own and each are entitled to their own goals or their own lack of goals as well respectively.

But for myself, my goal has always been mastery in multiple fields; to work to be one of the best in several fields that I deeply desire to, that I have a pull from within me and a strong urge to master.

Maybe I didn’t want to master pickup that much …? And that’s why I haven’t worked to get extremely good at it so far?

I posed this question to myself.

…

So what I did after this: I went to the library and sat down, found a very quiet, isolated place and wrote down my goals. Just sort of put words to paper and let what comes out, come out.

It’s interesting if you can do that with writing (once you can do that with writing) because you just sort of sit down to write and you don’t really know what will be said or what will come out or what is coming out from within you on to the paper but it just sort of comes and you just sort of let it.

The writing reveals things about yourself to you; reveals what some deeper part of you really feels, really thinks, really deeply wants, and desires and is drawn towards.

I wrote for some 30-40 minutes and was astonished with what came out. I found that I really do want to master pickup really do want to become world class at this; I was thinking briefly about the other field I’ve gone so far in already which is lifting, and thinking how I'm pretty close to elite level if I keep at it right now in powerlifting (even if I’m being very conservative I can reach elite level total and compete on national level in 2 and a half to 3 years… could be less than that if I decide to train accordingly and cut the time it takes a bit more).

I know how to master something, what it takes, why some 1 in 200 or 1 in 500 guys or whatever number will achieve that level of mastery and the rest won’t (and nothing wrong with that but if I WANT mastery and want it TERRIBLY bad, then I have to first know and second do what it would take to achieve that).

I know what it takes and understand that; this all occurred to me briefly and from there afterwards it was simply a question of how bad do I fucking want it, how deeply do I want to go with pickup, how far do I want to take this shit how good do I want to get.

What do I desire? What will my goals be? What will be my purpose and what journey will I set out to live out… What comes next…

…

I hadn’t been planning on sharing much of this, and don’t think it does myself personally any good to really talk about my goals all that much; but I read over my goals and hard rules a few times and thought that “other guys on the boards might perhaps get some value from this” and from that perspective it would be good of me to share it with them and selfish sorta to keep it all to myself and not share it (on the other hand).

This is what I ended up writing; some hard rules I set for myself and the goals I wrote down.

I want to get good at this, then really good, then great , then master/elite levels; my plan with posting on the future is any posting I have has to be purposeful: either help/contribute someone where I can in a way that others have not or might not be able to, or ask about something I am truly stumped on or a report where I messed up and didn’t know how or why and really genuinely need help, or anything else that I might want to discuss that is relevant but that is purposeful and definitely helping me to get better at pickup. I’m gonna try and not post LR’s till I start cleaning up really well to where I am high/elite level and can post the odd few to brag then; if I need help or am unsure how to improve at something then sure… but if I have a report where everything went right and perfectly, then I might not share that.

So what and how I post might change; but I’ll still be around. Just focused on putting my work and grind in fucking hard as fuck (like I know it takes). I think I yelled randomly like thinking about this shit today and scared some girl who was walking lol but FUCK I WANT IT SO BAD…

Hope what comes next helps or is relevant to anyone who feels it might be; good luck on your guys’ journey’s I say, as I really embark to work to get to higher levels on my own.
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Both of these are printed out, and read once each morning and once before bed. I will also ask myself each day whether today helped me get further towards my goals or not and in the morning will today help me go further or not.

In addition I will keep a journal for myself on my iPod that I write all breaking thoughts onto for each day about anything that I did wrong, what I am afraid of, nervous of or hesitating at, what I need to work on, am wondering about, want to do better at, article I need to reread, videos I need to rewatch, something I need to ask about or can work on, observations etc. everything goes on here … I do this religiously for lifting too for every single powerlifting workout of mine(look kind of like I’m texting all the time but I don’t care about that lol), will help me to more quickly identify where I am falling short and what I need to work on and fix, and how I can go about doing that.
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MY GOALS WITH PICKUP

• I want to be able to approach any attractive woman I see anywhere in any type of situation environment whoever she is with whatever she is saying or doing; regardless of any external variable or limitations in my own mind (with no fear hesitation setback or inconsistency of any sort; I want to be consistent want to be addicted to approaching and want to be addicted to the process and capitalizing on it every single chance that I get)
  
  I want to be able to go out a few times any week and 100% get laid with a new girl within that week; further down the road I want to be able to get laid with a new girl any day I want through law of averages and meeting a number of girls and having logistics nearby
  
  I want to have sex with and learn about women of every single race age (if attractive) ethnicity culture background religious background etc. and experience women who are varied Ina number of ways (experience and have sex experiences with the whole sea of them)
  
  I want to be able to get better and skilled at all parts and processes of pickup and sex; and eventually world class at all the individual steps within and things that must be done
  
  I want to have sex with 10s and eventually 100+ women and after all that want to know what qualities I like and prefer and what I want to have and experience in women I want as a girlfriend (I won’t truly fully know until I have had sex with many many up to that point)
  
  I want to become elite level at pickup within 3 years and if that later down the road has to be stretched further, within 5 years
  
  I want to enjoy pickup and I want to enjoy sleeping with a random woman who I just find hot and good looking without having to really connect or have anything else in common with her
  
  I want to become consistent and routine with pickup lifestyle and meeting new girls and sleeping with new girls on a regular basis
  
  I want to throughout my journey have my reasons for furthering my craft be meaningful and purposeful; I want to be enjoying it and having fun and doing it because of who I become in character and not because of anything external or any of the material things it gets me
  
  I want to love women and have a paradigm all the the way through of someone who is enchanted mesmerized and entranced by them and wants to become the puppeteer to the women (who are usually the puppeteers) and be the 1 in 1000 guys who can master them can mesmerize them can enchant them and have the alluring power over them that they have over most men
  
  I want to understand women deeply more deeply than most men ever will and more deeply than even many women do or ever will
  
  I want to travel the world and have sex and wonderful memories and experiences with women across the globe; I want to go to every country I think the women I might want to try and might be very attractive and I want to experience them have sex with many of them and drink in new atmospheres cultures languages and worlds with all they encompass, having the women be my guide and gateway to hidden realms and paradises that are separated by sea from me currently
  
  I want to find soulmate quality caliber girls who I find more beautiful and alluring and deeply pulled to on a heart level; who are every bit better than all other girls in my eyes and in my essence because they are made for me and I for them... I want to have sex with many women first before I run Into these girls because I don't want to run into them too soon and want to get to higher level of mastery at the skill first, but eventually I want to meet these girls too and I want to sleep with them, enjoy it enjoy the connections and eventually settle with one or multiple of them to have children with the best pair of genes I can offer my future progeny
  
  I want to embark on a journey to master women, and pickup regularly for a long long time (the rest of my life if possible) take the journey enjoy it and grind to gradually get better and better and better, and eventually one day when I am much older want to come from mastery back to full circle to being a beginner all over again and want to have unlearned the whole process of becoming a seducer with women
  
  I want to go all the way to the full circle of beginner intermediate advanced master and then novice and ignorant lover of woman all over again

HARD RULES WITH PICKUP

• I am not allowed to get into a committed relationship with women at all for the next 2 years (more than that time too perhaps once that mark is crossed)
  
  I'm not allowed to sleep with any girl regularly more than twice in a week, and am not allowed to spend lots of extra time or doing extra things with them outside of sex
  
  I am not allowed to self stimulate more than once a week, and must work to push that to even less and less frequent as far as I can potentially push it in the future (even if I can't sleep at night because I'm horny from absolutely nothing; my progress and growth matters even more than my sleep)
  
  If I am developing feelings for a girl I MUST be meeting approaching new girls and I must be sleeping with another girl at the same time that I am sleeping with her, and I am not allowed to see her more than once in a week
  
  I must be meeting new women at least 5 days a week and each day I must meet at least 4-5 girls; and if I can do 6 or 7 days a week that is even better, and upwards of however many girls past that is better
  
  I must be polarizing going for quicker sex quicker escalations quicker moves forward with all the girls I am meeting, not caring not for a second if I feel like I like them more or less than other girls... I must actively routinely try new things with them and find out exactly what works and exactly what does not (and what needs work can be improved or is already really good)
  
  I should constantly be looking at where I am weak where I am messing up what is m afraid of and going and practicing that working on that (more than anything else; brushing up where I am weak focusing on that intensely where it is most difficult and painful to do so)
  
  I must be writing routinely in my seduction journal; if I am meeting girls 5 days a week I should be tracking noting observing working to fix and deliberate practice and better everything that I see is off or wrong and working to fix all those little things every outing that I go out
  
  Even when I am having sex regularly with some girls or have multiple friends with benefits, even then I must still be going out meeting and trying to pull home and sleep with girls at least 5 different days or nights a weeks (which might be able to be cut back to 4 when I get really better at it)
  
  I must stop caring thinking about or focusing on at all on the reports I will write or getting pride or validation or ego boost from posting a lay report or talking to friends; I should not write lay report at all until I get to a certain really high level and then can post them for fun and not have it affect my continual going out or progress at those levels (same as how I wont really post any lifting videos till I truly have things to post and truly can say deadlift 500 lbs, then I can post 1 or multiple things and share at that point a little eventually at that higher level)
  
  I must write down every set back problem uncertainty or thing I am wondering about, confused about, have to work on etc; every outing just as I do with lifting currently and working to progress in that way
  
  I have to work to fix my programming time and again for multiple cycles (like powerlifting) and try certain outings and approaches and venues at day and night and try new places/new venues/new times of day and week with new people or with self and with new goals to test new weak points to shore up new skills and elements to focus on work on and work to get better in these ways
  
  I must treat this process as gradual as a journey be in for the long haul and must continually all the way through it all think to myself that I am still a noob at this and still have the world to progress and get better at and only then focus on keep going and showing up committing and grinding every further way that I can
  
  I must look up many numbers of venues (just like I look up different workouts) and try visiting and working on each of them many of them and progressing in various types of them designing a system to try them out in combination with others in given weeks
  
  I must ask on the board if I have questions or wonder about something but other than that focus only on getting better going further progressing in all the directions and ways that I want to and making that progress continually as time continues
  
  I must enjoy the process the difficulty the grind and all the hardship as well as enjoy all the learning that comes
  
  I must subscribe to this journey see where it takes me and give it my all, my full force focus effort and dedication and put in all the hard and smart work I can muster, just like I have with lifting

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For people that enjoy the above two lists and think they are cool; thanks, but realize that they're just words on paper.

They aren't tangible they aren't grounded in reality yet; that's contingent upon my action, and my working towards the goals relentlessly/unflinchingly and my adherence to my rules no matter what the fuck happens.

Nothing guaranteed, and failure is the much more statistically probable outcome in these things; I don't care though and I will get good at this shit or die trying.

We'll see what comes of all this, as the days progress and I progress alongside them...

-Rage

 

[ray_zorse]

DUDE you are hardcore. Although reading your book I probably already knew that. My only real comment is I think you have too many hard rules and thresholds. What I would tend to do is add one or two new rules at a time, try them for a few weeks and see if they are addressing the issues that led to me setting a hard rule in the first place, then either tweak or extend the rule. In this way it's more a matter of changing habits gradually and ingraining them until they feel natural before making further changes. Whereas with your scheme you have to keep a lot in your head (all those rules) and potentially if you already have some FWB or r/ship and have to make a lot of sudden changes you might feel a bit discouraged and lonely as a result. Also about your goals, it is good to have certain short, medium and long term goals but I would tend to focus more on the short term. Like a few months ago I had most fundmentals handled (except voice and body but I was so-so okay with where those were at) and was focusing on the bored look, subtle changes in body positioning to reward attention and engagement, and using silences and strong EC to get her to invest. Now I've gone backwards and need to build back up, but my point is I cannot achieve mastery without getting these things handled, so I prefer not to look too much further ahead. In this way I keep my focus quite narrow, but also I keep things pretty fun and spontaneous because I am not putting loads of pressure on myself, I am just enjoying where I am currently at, reaping the rewards and improving gradually as a background activity. That may not be enough for some. But it may be more sustainable.
Ray

 

[trashKENNUT]

Rage,

Don't make me stop you but i like to note the obstacles so you be aware of how to maneuver.

I want to be able to go out a few times any week and 100% get laid with a new girl within that week; further down the road I want to be able to get laid with a new girl any day I want through law of averages and meeting a number of girls and having logistics nearby

Life can be a piece of shit and you will face dry spells for no f**king reason other than life is a piece of crap. Definitely, don't make me stop you.

I want to have sex with and learn about women of every single race age (if attractive) ethnicity culture background religious background etc. and experience women who are varied Ina number of ways (experience and have sex experiences with the whole sea of them)

We have the same vision. XD!!! not easy though.

I want to be able to get better and skilled at all parts and processes of pickup and sex; and eventually world class at all the individual steps within and things that must be done

Careful here. It can venture you into learning some things that is not always comfortable. You can become upset, real ones.

HARD RULES WITH PICKUP

Hard Rules are great but Hard rules and standards are similar. They are highly important but you should be willing to let it slack a few times. Standards or Hard rules are there to remind you but i can tell that there were times when life becomes a piece of shit and that you can hard rules/standards all you want but it just doesn't work so well.

So be willing to slacken that part when life becomes a piece of shit in that moment in time. It will give you peace of mind.

Zac

 

[Rage]

Ray

Hey Ray! Excellent points and I agree completely with the bulk of what you say. The goals I shared are the long term goals, but definitely within this I’ll have to be regularly setting short term goals too. (It’s a parallel I’ve seen my lifting friends say and business friends say, and I see it applies in pickup too… where you have a long term vision of what you one day want to become but also short term goals and targets and objectives for your day to day).

…

I was gonna mention this (occurred to me later) but my hard rules, are almost bound to and subject to change. Again just like you say

I think I shouldn’t call them hard rules but just call them rules for now (because my assumption would be HARD rules means rules that you will never in your life break ever again; and those HARD rules that Chase set were after experiences where he failed or broke rules or saw a pattern of something that really fucking sucked… and then after all the experience he set the HARD absolute rule about whatever he did e.g. I won’t ever do on again off again relationships because they suck for me and the girl, both of us a ton).

So these are just my rules for now; I’ll have to be tighter with them and stricter with them the first 6 month period or so before I can get ease off just ever so slightly. Because then I’ll have the habit and rhythm of deliberate practicing and going out a lot and doing what I need to consistenly and building a tiny bit each day and all that.

At THAT point and each subsequent levels up, my rules will change to target at what I am weak at and what I am afraid of.

Oh and what’s been getting me committed harder I should mention, amongst a whole host of thigs (and other unconscious things that I don’t really realize I’m sure) are that I’ve depreciated a bit staying at parents home for 3 whole months. And it’s been pissing me the fuck off, how bad I am in comparison to where I was 3 months ago, but also how that version of myself 3 months ago even then wasn’t grinding hard at all and was just at the tip of the iceberg of what I want to be one day.

Zac

Hey glad you feel similar Zac. I think rules I set are part regarding wher eI’ve been lacking and having trouble a bit so far; but I think as I mentioned just above right now, and like ray and you suggest I won’t set absolute rules till I see patterns several times of something I MUST set an absolute rule about.

I’m familiar with the journey too, it is crazy ups and downs

I love the down days every bit as much as the up days though because they go hand in hand and one can’t raelly exist or be present in the world without the other. I’ll show up and grind everyday, intend to whether it be feeling good or feeling really lousy that day

Rage

 

[Lord Byron]

Hey Rage,

This was a very inspiring read. I'm desirous of mastery too, but in the form of musical performance. Despite the difference of our visions, you've laid out your plan quite beautifully, and as well as providing some great insight for my journey to mastery through your steps, I'm sure you will succeed in due time!

I recently reread Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers and his theory about the 10,000 hour rule (10,000 hours of practice leading to mastery). After doing some brief calculations, I came up with some statistics about the time effort required.

If you practiced x everyday for ~9.1 hours, you'd achieve mastery in 3 years.

If you practived x everyday for ~6.85 hours, you'd achieve mastery in 4 years.

If you practiced x everyday for ~5.48 hours, you'd achieve mastery in 5 years.

And while those numbers may sound scary to some, those numbers excite the hell out of me! Maybe I'm a little crazy to think that, but it just goes to show that hard work, combined with the smarts that websites like this one provide, can really allow you to get what you want out of life in a relatively short amount of time.

Thanks for the post again dude, wishing you the best on your journey to excellence!

Byron

 

[Rage]

Hey Lord Byron!

Thank you for the kind words; I wish you well on your journey as well!

I wanted to share something that Chase told me some time ago regarding the 10,000 hour rule, which is that, the rule is in ways a myth and does not have to necessarily take that long!

Chase said that with guys who are very pssionate and driven to mastery, the road to mastery could happen in 3 years or 4 years instead of the proverbial 5 to 7 years it takes to master (or 4000 or 5000 or 6000 hours instead of 10000 outright with no exceptions of any amount of time less than that). Average person would take 10,000 hours but a guy who is driven and motivated (perhaps like many of the guys on this forum) that learning could be cut quite a bit.

I wouldn't quickly believe this if I hadn't experienced it myself, but I had with my own lifting! I have been lifting for 3 years now, but have made the strength gains and muscle gains of a lifter who lifts 4-5 years. I've progressed a lot faster than my friends who are at my strength levels, and have progressed way ahead of common gym folk or other regulars I saw who either stayed tehs ame since I started lifting or progressed a bit but at a much slower rate, which I got to largely accelerate past and get to higher levels than them in less time. And I've met a few lifters who've far surpassed me in just 2 years of training so I definitely believe cutting the learning curve even faster would be and still could be possible for me.

Takes a lot of work but it is possible, and if you want mastery than you just yearn to work to achieve it

I wanted to be a musician for a number of years (got in trouble when I was 16 for telling mom and dad i wanna become a jazz musician; no 401 k or benefits in that job lol). I loved it very much and played my musical instrument religioulsy every day for many years. Mastering music and artform is about mastering the technical works and then being able to perform for, share with, and impact others and to be able to put your own uniqeness and self and essence into what you create.

The technical mastery comes (the fundamnetals for pickup, the instrument itself for music) and then after comes the sharing and the DOing for others, which makes it an art in the first place (no art without other people to be an audience and capture what you uniquely have to offer the world that no one else can offer in just the way that you can).

You don't get to see this with hard skills but do with arts (like there's no creativity or improvisation or harmonic inegnuity in lifting for example, you sort of just master the skill and thats it). I only got good enough at music to see very early stages of that, but art is a magical thing and I hope to be able to do the second part the communication and dance with the audience, better with pickup (and with writing too, I might add). I want to go far so bad, but I really have a long way to go.

Here's to that journey before us huh? Good luck my friend!

Rage