Desperate after break up

[Simon Kent]

Hello everyone.
This is my first post on girls chase and heh my problem is probably the most cliche problem out there. Lots of drama, tears, questionable ethics and not so happy ending.
She is 24, I'm 19. I met this girl at my university, she graduated recently and now works there.

She was the first person I met after I started reading Girlschase and applying all this really priceless information. She was attracted right from the first day we met but I did not make a move on her till several months later. I managed to kiss her on our first date, and next day she invited me at her place, we did not have sex that night because I could not get "him" up and she felt really bad cheating on her boyfriend (something vaguely reminding "walk the line")

Day after day.... we've been seeing each other for half a year. Every weekend she would go away to see her long distance boyfriend, and on Monday she would come to me, her "secret lover". We've had a lot of drama recently, since she has told me she cant do this anymore, it's getting out of control and people might find out. She cut all contact and started ignoring me.
However I became attached, literally addicted to her, like really crazy. She passed my screens, she has long term girlfriend qualities: no drinking, partying, smoking, etc
(except cheating for half a year on her boyfriend). A several months before the breakup I realized one scary thing... I really love her, and it hurts so bad she was never truly mine. She's on the pedestal I know, but how do I get her down? It's my first experience and it hurts like hell. If she leaves him tomorrow I feel like I won't be able to resist and simply take her as my girl..

How did you guys deal with pain for the first time?

 

[Franco]

Simon,

How did you guys deal with pain for the first time?

The only way to deal with pain like this is to replace it with new feelings of happiness. Luckily for you, you're only 19, so you have plenty of time to do so. You need to get back on your horse and start approaching and having sex with new women.

The only reason you're having this feeling of "pain" right now is that you feel like you won't be able to find another girl to replace her. But guess what? This is FALSE.

Given enough time sleeping with more and more women, you'll find some very amazing women out there who are as good (and better) than this girl. It's your current lack of experience around a LOT of women that is making you so focused on THIS woman. The best thing you can do is to get yourself back out there and start bedding new girls. For me, I've noticed that I tend to run into "girlfriend-quality girls" about twice a year if I'm at LEAST consistently approaching and bedding girls once or twice a month, and it would probably be more than that if I approached even more.

So instead of wallowing in the pain of wondering how you can get her back (which doesn't go away by itself, by the way), get yourself out there and start meeting new women. Even one or two hot girls in your bed can make you forget why you were hurting.

- Franco