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Developing Will & Awareness

demainor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
140
Brothers,
l have been reading the series about Jack London on the Art of Manliness website, its a very intruiging and thought challenging piece of writing. the thing l have noticed about it, is the way it has potrayed the man and his achievements in a way that all men can relate to and it has once again reminded me of something l have been trying to attain for a very long time, the Iron Clad Will.

Now, the concept of will power has been a very interesting aspect of human nature to me. it has eluded me, and yet at times it has helped me achieve things that l would not have achieved in another given time and/or place. but the thing is, l have not been able to have it constantly, nor do l call it at will, it comes and goes inconsistently at times leaving me in the lurch, having gone far but stumbling at the critical point. The thing that is bothering me most is looking at people who have not really studied game and social relations as l have been trying since l discovered game 3 years ago is how some,not many, but some people, are just naturally so strong willed that all else bows to their whims. and yet, the rest of humanity simply plods on, following these few without realizing or asking why exaclty they do it.

Another issue is the problem of awareness. l dont know how to put this in a way that is tangible but l will simply state it and hope you grasp what it is l am trying to say. l am 22 in a university, and in order for me to enjoy the company of my friends, l simply have to deem the level of "awareness" l have of the situations. I hate alcohol, and would rather avoid, and do avoid it even as my comrades indulge themselves, but this strains the problem in that as much as l love partying, its simply not enough for me to grind on a girl and let her go as they seem to prefer doing. even when we are relaxing, l find it difficult to relate with the issues they are currently facing, they seem so insignificant in the face of what is out there, and yet when l face the truth of real life after campus, l run back to my friends in order to hide from sheer demand of it in their simple kind of view of it.

Now l dont want to sound mopey or any of that or as if my friends are below me or sthng like that. am just hear to ask those with larger experiences under their belt for their view. in short:

How do you develop your will and character to such an extend that you can project a state to others(Carlifornia pimp style.)I read the book recommended by the Pimp and it has serious merits though l am still far off. I try to take deep breaths and then exhale with an image of my will as a wall of flames around me growing with each breathe. this has actually helped me be calmer and more authoritative, getting things done way easier and faster

How do you set you will in such a way that you maintain it even when your not aware of it? i find myself reverting to old habits constantly and in order to project my will l have to start from scratch. a girl actually mentioned that my voice tone keeps changing from average to powerful(indicating when am aware and when am not)

on the issue of awareness:

How do you minimize the distractions in your mind in order to achieve a specific goal, or even in day to day interactions? that is, how do you prevent or minimise your brain going all automatic on you?for example when am aware, l have awesome body language and eye contact, but l keep sliping back to old habits.

But l dont know if anyone else suffers from this problem, l am a novel reader since very young. NOw, the bad news about this, is l have this kind of fantasy running in my mind where l am like a powerful being, and every book that l read gets channeled to this, incorporating new ideas into it. this has become a kind of addiction. l want to get into my head and be that person, that superhero version of me, with girls wanting me and people looking upto me to lead them to battle victory. As l write this, l realize the similarity between this and online profiles that people become addicted to. l have tried to kill this fantasy in my head, but the gap left in there was simply to vast and l recreated a different version of me. I know that killing this fantasy will require a lot of mental energy and that it will kill my novel reading fanatism, and am afraid of it, but l also know that liberating my mind will give me vast resources l can use, the question is, to what end?

How do you channel this new awarenes?

let me cut this thread short, because the more l type, the more questions arising and l dont want to go too deep. Forgive the long length and philosophical nature of it.Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated and welcomed. Open to discussions and questions too.
 

Gentle_Phrases

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
292

demainor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
140
Thhanks,let me look into them
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Not sure what you are exactly asking (e.g. not familiar with California Pimp), but here are some hints:

How to develop Will and Character in such extend that you can project a state to others? It depends how do you perceive WILL. Here is very simple example: How many times can a guy go to a fitness and lift weights? It all depends on the will of that guy. Some don't even try, some get tired and stop in the middle, others can go for years.

There are underlying factors that influence the WILL. For example personal Belief. If a guy believes that going to fitness is not important, perhaps even stupid, he won't even try. He will go once or twice and then he will quit. If he believes that it is good to excercise and lift weights, but he doesn't really care much about the results, he'll give up after several weeks or months. And if he believes that exercising is very important because he wants to be fit and physically strong, perhaps even become a champion in weight lifting - he will be going several times per week, for many years. His will becomes habit, and this habit will eventually change his personality.

Basically, the thing is, if you don't like excercise and don't consider it imortant, you need a lot of WILL to go to fitness and lift weights. You will eventually build resistance towards fitness and stop going, perhaps even you will develope strong dislike towards weight lifting. On the other hand, if you believe that weight lifting is very important, and even have ambicions to win something, you won't need that much will to go to fitness. You will go there happy, and each excercise will make you happier.

Next factor is emotions. Say the guy is in normal environment, with his family or friends. Why would he excert so much effort if he doesn't have to prove anything by weight lifting? He'll just exerts some average effort. But say now he meets some girl in fitness and he wants to show of. Or he goes for competition. Emotions are high, adrenalin is pumping. He will exert much more effort to show off because of the high emotions, he will lift much more weights.

Repetition, determination. The more he does it the better he becomes. Say he is now exercising intensively for several years and he goes to a competition. He wins, now he is a weight lifter, winner in that area, his persistant effort changed his personality. Now he is more persistant, much stronger, goal oriented, focused, ambicious, determined,... Excercising changed his personality.

It is a simple example which can be applied to other areas (running, education, programming, chess, business, seduction, ...). Basically once you start believe that it is important you will automatically start exerting more effort in that area, you will spent more hours doing it, you will make it a habit, and this habbit will eventually becomes part of your personality.

How do you minimize the distractions in your mind in order to achieve a specific goal? Very much the same. You need to be aware of that particular goal, you need to believe that the goal is important. You need to spent time on achieving that goal (e.g. not one day or week, but months, years). You need to focus on the goal, you need to make that goal clear (the clearer and more specific the better), and the more you focus on achiving that goal the less distractions you will experience. See it as training, practice.

Next, you are talking about fantasy. As long as you are feeding that fantasy, as long as you are paying attention to it, it will be getting stronger and stronger. It doesn't really matter if you think about it in positive or negative way. For example, you are thinking about being a hero, or that you don't like hero. The thing is, you are always thinking in terms of a hero. Just drop the whole idea of hero, forget it. Think about something else. If the hero is object of your fantasy that you don't want, switch the object to something else, think about something totally different...
 

demainor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
140
Thanks fr the reply D. But its not gonna be that simple really. Abt will,you know that conviction you have that is so strong that it is actually ridiculuos to consider anythng else? The pimp was actually imposing his will/charisma to another person in such a way that they couldnt imagine not giving in to his request. I have been using it in my day to day activities, for exqmple when l need help and a secretary is being delibarately frustrating, l start imagining her begging me to let her help me and l will it in my head that she wants to help me. Meanwhile, l tell her somethng like "am sure theres a way you can help me,how do you recommend l proceed" and remain firm in my insistence. This works wonders.

As for the awareness , it the zoning out where your mind is on autopilot. The fantasy is really not that easy to do. Imagine telling an alcoholic, when you start thnkn abt beer, just ignore it. Ahhh,yea not gonna work. Not that easy,but its what am gonna have to try doing. To focus on real life instead of feeding it.
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Well, say you are average guy and you bench press 140 pounds. You get interested in weight lifting and you see a guy who presses 360 pounds 5 times in a row. He motivates you and you want to lift as much as he does. But how did he get to that point? Was he born with it?

Most likely not. Most likely he spent lots of time weight lifting, probably years. Lots of effort. It took time and persistant effort to get to that point. He might have some predisposition to it, say better metabolism and robust anatomy, but he still had to train hard to get to that point. He needed determination and persistance to lift that much weight. After some while of lifting he developed conviction, believe that he can do it.

So what is his secret? His secret is really just simplicity, persistant weight lifting for months and years...

Say you meet a professor who has Phd. and he motivates you with his knowledge and you start studying. What is his secret? Was he born with knowledge? With Phd? Well, the truth is that it took him many years of persistant studying, he had to put lots of effort into it. He needed persistance and determination to achive his level. He believed that he can do it, without it he wouldn't be able to complete it. What is his secret? His secret is really just simplicity, learning something little every day, persistant studying for months and years...

What is the difference between those guys and great seducer? Is great seducer born with all the skills? What is his secret?
 

demainor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
140
true dat, so it takes a bit everyday to get good. Does that concept apply to the level of awareness too?
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Not sure if I understand your question about awarness.

Say you are learning a new skill, riding a bicycle. You have to focus on the bike, on balance, on moving the pedals while watching surrounding environment, on coordinating movement of your body. Your awareness of that situation (learning that particular skill) is say 90%, you are not aware of anything else. You are not confident at all. Your conscious focus is consumed by riding the bicycle, you don't really have mental capacity to focus on something else (music, what your friends are saying,...)

Now say you are riding bicycle for many years. Your focus can be on something else, the skill you learned was shifted into your subconscious, you can ride the bike and not even be aware of it. Your subconscious mind takes control of your balance, pedalling and making turns while your conscious can be focused say on music, or even talking to your friends on the phone. You are now more confident about driving a bike. Say you can be consciously aware of ridding the bike only 10% while the rest 90% can be focused on something else.

But now you became professional and you are training for competition. If you want to be good you have to focus on driving the bike again. You have to monitor your pedalling, your energy consumption, pain in the muscles, rate of breathing, you have to calculate the shortest distance through the curves so you don't waste time and so on. Now your awareness of driving a bicycle can go back up, say to 80-90%. You don't really want to waste time on anything else, e.g. talking to your friends.

The same applies to other areas. When you are learning new skill your confidence is low and awareness high. After a while of practicing your learned skills become part of your subconscious, and since you already know something about it you will also become more confident while your awareness can be low or high.
 
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