Did I misread the situation? And where do I go from here?

EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
Good evening all,

So one of my jobs involve teaching kids. And parents, usually mothers, bring them over. I noticed that one of the single mothers was attractive, but I thought nothing more of it. Work was work and at the time, I believed in separating lust/romance and work.

The pandemic caused the place to shut down for six months but reopened last September. The mother and I crossed paths again and for some reason, I ended up infatuated with her. She was pretty immersed in our conversations, we had heavy eye contact flirting at times, and she gave me a handmade gift right before the place closed for Christmas break.

I took those actions as signs of interest. A second office was finished being constructed by early February, offering a way to seclude us so I can make a proposition. I proposed to be "more than platonic" but she said she'd rather be friends. I took the rejection in stride and interacted with her as if it didn't happen in the following days.

Part of me felt like I took too long to make a move but another part of me felt like I may have mistaken her friendliness for signs of interest.

I'll provide more clarity if needed upon request.
 

Starboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 2, 2018
Messages
485
Yeah she was being friendly and liked talking to you but doesn't sound like she had romantic intentions. If she was to have touched you a lot,gave you more investment,compliance then yes it could've been a sign of interest. But seems like she just gave you positive reactions. It's possible she could've been attracted to you,but 6 months away she can move on.

Where to go from here? Simple. Meet other women so you don't spent as much time thinking about her. Cold approach. Or try online dating,but you won't get nearly the same quality and requires significant investment as well to build effective profile.
 

Derek da man

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Messages
285
Yeah she was being friendly and liked talking to you but doesn't sound like she had romantic intentions. If she was to have touched you a lot,gave you more investment,compliance then yes it could've been a sign of interest. But seems like she just gave you positive reactions. It's possible she could've been attracted to you,but 6 months away she can move on.

Where to go from here? Simple. Meet other women so you don't spent as much time thinking about her. Cold approach. Or try online dating,but you won't get nearly the same quality and requires significant investment as well to build effective profile.
Agree - move on - maybe you were too slow but you also need to be able to focus on the here and now and now ruminate on the past, just learn from your experiences.
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
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6,553
She was pretty immersed in our conversations, we had heavy eye contact flirting at times, and she gave me a handmade gift right before the place closed for Christmas break.
Single mothers are more engaging when it comes to their children.

I recommend you keep using the same principle of work is work, because for the simple reason that you are there interacting with kids.

The only way to break away from this, from time to time is that if she is really hot and you like her, quickly create some space between you and her and make a clear statement of asking to get food some time.

She will 'get it'.

But I don't count on this method as main sets because you are literally playing an 'email list retargeting' kinda game, but to super cold audience..

z@c+
 

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
hey kao, sorry to hear about the rejection. never a good feeling, is it?

while it could be that you misread the situation, or took too long to act, theres another angle to explore that might provide some clarity for you: the way you asked her out.

perhaps the way you approached vocalizing your interest was uncalibrated and made her feel uncomfortable.

the only bit of information i got from your report about this was that you proposed to be "more than platonic" with her. could you please explain more about this particular part? your words and body language, as well as hers, are going to be helpful for us to know here.
 

EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
hey kao, sorry to hear about the rejection. never a good feeling, is it?

while it could be that you misread the situation, or took too long to act, theres another angle to explore that might provide some clarity for you: the way you asked her out.

perhaps the way you approached vocalizing your interest was uncalibrated and made her feel uncomfortable.

the only bit of information i got from your report about this was that you proposed to be "more than platonic" with her. could you please explain more about this particular part? your words and body language, as well as hers, are going to be helpful for us to know here.
Sure.

So i had strong eye contact but it did waver at times but besides that i had open body language.

I was implying a fwb situation but i rationalized not saying it since I was in a work environment.

(for context, I'm an martial arts instructor and I was recovering from an injury at the time and I stay after I'm done teaching class; we both train together and I watch the adult class so I don't fall too far behind on the curriculum; she also has her kid stay in the back until she's done training)

She said that while she enjoyed the time I spent with him and that I'm a goody guy, "the friendship is reciprocated." She then put out her hand to shake hands.
 
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