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Difference between being the mysterious outsider, and being outside altogether?

Animatronic_Squirrel

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
31
I'm clearly getting something very wrong here - how do I engage fully with my social circles and become recognized as a leader, whilst simultaneously remaining a mysterious outsider? Or do these two things just not mix?

In my most recent social endeavor - I've found myself shunted to the edge of the social circle of a dance society we've joined, while the girl I'm with took center stage and become pretty much the alpha very quickly. Feeling like a bit of a chump and I think I need to re-set a lot of my attitudes and behaviors - the foremost being my aversion to the spotlight. I can get people to open up one-on-one quite easily and forge decently strong connections that way, but when I'm in a crowd, I'm never quite sure what to do.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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