Direct opener hasnt worked for me

[ocantu1987]

usually if I see a girl I like I approach direct with "hey, i thought you were cute and I had to come meet you/talk to you" I have had a few good reactions, but mostly not so good, they act kind of spooked and they usually tell me Im married/boyfriend.

It is my default line when I cant think of what to say. I need to work on my game again, Ive hit a dry spell from hell lol no girl since august. I need to refresh myself any good articles for getting back in the game?

 

[The Marksman]

First of all, good shit for persistence and not letting a slow success rate get you down. Work through that shit my friend (;

Secondly: There's a lot that goes into a direct opener besides what you say. In fact, some would argue is has almost nothing to do with what you say, and all in how you say it and how you come off saying it. I also didn't notice any info on what you were doing prior to approaching. Did you catch her looking at you, were you staring at her until she turned to look at you? Were there repeated looks? Did you walk over and blurt out "hey, i thought you were cute and I had to come meet you/talk to you". What was your body language like? Where were you standing? How many friends did she have with you and what were they doing? Did you address any of them and work the group do or just jump straight into it?

I have opened with some RIDICULOUS shit before. Example?

Warm smile and short eye contact/pause before saying "Hey, I'm actually heading out butI couldn't leave without letting you know you are far to cute to not have good wifi. I'm Marksman"

Silly right?

It's all in your body language and the way you say what you're saying.

 

[Estate]

Ocantu,
There could be a few things at play... some suggestions:

- Given that it's super direct, expect a lot of No's. This type of opener is meant to be a quick screen. It takes 5 seconds of your day to find out if she's interested and if she's not, you move on to the next. Indirect means investing time and you might still get a No. But when it works, you know right away she's a Yes.

- Work on the actual approach/delivery. I find you need to deliver this is a really cool, sauve, but casual sort of way. Little cockiness. If there's any quietness or weakness or she feels like it's un-natural or you're uncomfortable in any way, it'll be a no. Only super confident guys who can get girls can get away with these types of lines. You've got to come across as that. I have no idea how you're approaching but try changing up your tone, your body language, where you approach from, are you catching them too much off guard? Maybe just experiment changing it up.

- Change your approach. Totally. If the opener isn't working, try something new, try indirect, try another venue.

 

[ocantu1987]

Thanks estate, yeah i totally catch them off guard most of the time and I tend not to look at their eyes when I give them that line. I look away and say my line then look back at them my eye contact becomes elite from that point

 

[sneaky_charm]

I would say that it's your delivery. But then, I don't have direct opening experience with many (just a few) so you can take my advice or not is up to you.

When you open direct, first get her attention. I believe 'Excuse Me' is fine if you want to just get attention, as long as you exchange another pleasantry few seconds after that when looking into her eyes, such as 'Hello'. Or a single 'Hi' or 'Hey' will do too after the girl looks at you.

After you say the 'Hi', make eye contact like glue, and keep your face a bit playful and friendly. Count 3 seconds in your head....1...2...3.... and then make your one sided charming smile a bit wider and say that you thought she was cute or whatever. Should work.

What pausing does is it makes the girls confused, intrigued and alert. By the time 3 seconds are over, they get over the shock of being approached suddenly too (which, I believe, is the main reason for outright rejection).

Also, keep your tone warm and friendly. Like Jon Matrix (Natural Lifestyle) or Jude Law.

I hope you try it and report if it works or not!