Disappointed women: Simply a matter of outcome indepedence?

[The Byronic Man]

I feel like many of my dates end with her feeling disappointment. I feel like I build myself up, and she gets excited for our date, but I usually end up fucking things up by the end of the date. I know this is all part of the learning process, but the disappointment I leave with women is starting to take a toll on me emotionally. How many times do I have to leave her disappointment until my success rate improves significantly? Is this simply a matter of outcome independence? Anyone else struggling with this, and if so, how did you overcome it?

It's a bit discouraging that this still all feels like a numbers game. I also seem to be "steamrolling" past disappointing women by meeting more women, but it doesn't seem ideal to fight this with results. Is it possible to not be emotionally affected regardless of my results?

 

[Thedoctor]

Byronic,

Though I think it's important to feel a little badly in order to motivate you to progress quicker, you shouldn't be feeling so bad that its a discouragement. An easy way to feel a little better about it is to continuously remind yourself of how much you've improved thus far. Becoming a "seducer" or "PUA" (not that I like using those terms) is one of the hardest things any guy will ever undertake. Conversely, how much work does an attractive woman have to do:

She just has to show up.

How much work does a somewhat attractive woman need to do:

She just has to show up with make-up on.

That is the reality of the situation. The vast majority of the effort is initiated from the guy's part. Believe me, I've seen first-hand how poorly a cute girl handles rejection. A friend of mine (who is extremely handsome, tall and exudes charisma) finds himself having to reject a couple a girls anytime we go out. Here's an example that has happened on more than one occasion:

Cute girl approaches him (that for whatever reason, is not his cup of tea), asks him to dance. They go dance for one or two songs, afterwards he hugs her, thanks her for the dance, and walks away. Then he vanishes like batman, but the girl spots me instead, she'll walk up and tell me that my friend is an A**hole. And no, I know he didn't say anything rude to them. They just aren't used to being rejected, which is understandable - no one does! But us guys get rejected all the time. On top of that we need to learn fashion, body language, have good physique, good hair, sexy vibes, great social skills, etc. It's a lot of work!

So my point is that, the onus is on the guys to train and get better at all this. If a few girls are left disappointed in the process, it's unfortunate, but don't forget:
All they had to do was show up.

Food for thought,
-Doc

 

[The Byronic Man]

Thanks, Doc. That perspective really helps!