Online & Apps Disconnected and Confused

[Smiling_Stray]

This has been driving me mad since yesterday, I haven't got a clue what went wrong but I can feel in my gut something did. It could just be my seasonal depression screwing with me but I met a few girls online two days ago. One of them replied to me immediately after my opener, the others waited until this morning since it was later in the day on a weekend.

The girl who replied immediately and I talked for a while and it was a bit rocky at first but we laughed about it later and things went a lot more smoothly from there. I ended up asking her out that night and got a reply "Possibly" so I just said "K". The next day she got back to me again, explaining to me she's just nervous about meeting new people from online. So I said we could just do a video chat to build a bit more comfort first, to which she agreed and said she could do a call in about an hour or two. So she gave me her contact and we did a call an hour or two later.

It was a little awkward at first since it had been a while since I had done a video chat but we got past that and started joking around, getting to know each other. Thing is my internet connection was shit and she froze up and apparently my audio was cut on her side of things. So we moved to video chatting on the dating site we met on. Her audio was good there but wasn't able to see me, I tried fixing it but couldn't. She was clear on my side of things so I wasn't sure what was wrong. We talked for a few minutes there and she suggested I try using discord, so I made an account and we moved there. That was worse.

We both froze up on screen and I wasn't getting audio from her. She ended the call and texted me that she thinks it's just the internet. I didn't see that text until after I tried calling her again on the dating site and she didn't pick up. I replied afterwards "yeah, it's probably just my internet. We can either try again tomorrow or just do an audio call" It's a little after 24 hours later, still no response.

I've got plenty of other things to focus on right now and other women to talk to but for some reason I can't stop wondering what the hell happened? Could be my depression making me think the worst for no reason but it's just bugging the fuck out of me not having a clue where I fucked up. Maybe she's just busy? She did mention she works like three jobs. Help a brother out, what do ya'll think?

 

[Chase]

@Wanderer.o'7,

Well, that's a bummer.

I can tell you having been on the receiving end of that... if I do a call with someone I'm not super sold on meeting, but just doing as a kind of "Well, I'll hop on, and I guess we'll see how it goes" and then the whole thing is screwed up due to connectivity issues on the other person's end, my emotion is pretty much always "Well darn, that was a big waste of my time."

I almost always am unavoidable to that person from there on out if that was our first meeting.

This is different if this is someone I'm already sold on meeting. If it's an important new contact, or someone I already know and like a fair bit from correspondence elsewhere, or what have you.

But if it's someone I'm neither here nor there on, a bad connection can be the the make or break moment for that connection with me -- break, in that case.

If you're dealing with online girls you've just messaged with a bit, unless you're the hottest guy ever in your pictures or have the most riveting, hilarious profile, or she is just desperate AF, there's a pretty fair chance she is going, "Ah... do I REALLY want to carve an hour out of my schedule for this random online guy? Well... maaaybe it'll be worthwhile."

Then she does all the planning, scheduling... then has to deal with all the extra work and annoyance of switching platforms... and by the end of it she's just going "Oh screw it, this was a waste of my time."

Keep in mind: people will anchor to you whatever emotions they experience with you, especially when those are the first emotions they're experiencing with you.

When all her early emotions are frustration, disappointment, annoyance, and inconvenience, you're going to have a hard time getting her to do anything with you again after.

Chase