Disqualifying/passing her screen Questions

[Metalus]

Hey everyone, im pretty much new on this forum although i followed the blog for quite a while.
English is not my native language so plz dont be too hard on me.

Im new in the whole dating scence but i enjoy this quite a bit . Im just the type of guy whos trying to learn as fast
as possible so I felt like asking questions in the forum.

Last weekend i got confronted with a few things that I didnt react in the best way i guess. Im gonna pick out a
few situations/questions and just wanted to find out what u guys think about is the best way to react.

1. She: "Im more into the "natural" type of man." She then explained what "natural" means for her
and i felt like: "This is exactly NOT me".
2. She asked me what kind of woman I like and pointed on some potential girlfriends for me.
3. She mentioned having a friend with benefits and asked me if i have one as well.

Is that some sort of test she was playing on me ? What could be a possible default answer to this ?
Or should I usually avoid topics like that ?

On the first one:
Pointing out im exactly her type felt like putting in too much effort. At the same time disqualifying by saying "thats not me" (something more funny but with the same subtext)
didnt feel right...

With 2. and 3. im not sure what to say...

 

[Estate]

Hey man,
This might be curve-ball to actually telling you how to pass these tests but here it goes anyway...

I used to face this a lot too.
Maybe a girl says something like
"I love reading, I read all sorts of books, I spend all my free time reading!"
"I really like a guy who cooks".

These are just examples of something she might say but what if NEITHER of those statements were things which would really describe me? Well, what most guys do, and I used to do this is say "OMG, I love books, I read all sorts too!" or "Yeah, I cook ALL the time..." then have to scramble to find ways to qualify myself without being shown up.

Nowadays I take a different approach. While YES, she is in essence, qualifying you... she is also qualifying or disqualifying herself!
Really... If a girl is the type to just spend all her free time inside reading, when I would prefer to be out playing sports, hiking, doing something *I* like then I am wasting my time. I've learned that over time. There's really no point in pretending to be something to "make her like you" when a few months into a relationship she will find you are not that guy at all, and it just becomes a whole mess.

Use it as an oppertunity to screen HER. If you genuinely don't have the same interests... be honest and describe YOUR interests. If you are lucky, she might be the type of girl who doesn't have this fairy-queen dream of meeting a guy who "has everything in common" with you and will be actually interested in joining, learning and enjoying your interests too... if not, move on. She's not for you.

 

[Flames]

I'd like to add one further thing to what Estates said and that is, you don't always need to have that we have so much in common vibe.

If there's truly something about her that interests you, that she does and you dont know about, ask her about it; Broadening your horizons is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

For example.

If she says 'I love to cook". You could ask her to cook for you, or even if your interested in learning to cook, to show you a few simple things. Maybe it could be the start of a new hobby?

However if it's something you truly don't have an interest in, that can be something she does on her own, or with other friends which is also important in a relationship. Having that time away gives them a chance to have something to talk with you about and stops things getting stale.

Being yourself is key, but some flexibility is also important.