Socializing Disrespect Frame Grabbing?

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Hey here is one from last week Friday, essentially quick story.

Was in line for my bar on Friday, I’m a usual person there. Bar line was told too dispersed, so I dispersed.

Went to the front lit up a smoke, About ten minutes later SUV ubur rolls up and chick with two friends roll in. Chick comes out first

Asks from a distance if I work at X bar.

I instantly got annoyed at being asked if I worked at this bar, *[I definitely did not look it] and just repeated the line back to her but angrier. Sort of in a “Are you fucking stupid” sort of way.

I usually do not have a nerve in regards to this sort of interaction. I’ve been in the game for a long time and sort of am use to getting blow outs and rejection. That isn’t what bothered me here.

It was the frame grab itself from her, sort of a female neg though for all intents and purposes I do not believe she was attracted at all to me. Just a disrespectful female.

Anyways it’s been awhile since I’ve been through frame grabbing concepts so I thought this would be a good time to ask.

I usually avoid picking verbal fights with females when I’m alone because most men white knight instantly but I’m thinking there is a more tactful way to deal with this. I’m thinking something along the lines of a polite way to say, “rude you are a spoiled brat”

Thoughts?

 

[Will_V]

Why react at all? Just pretend she doesn't exist. The only reason to respond would be if you were keen on her.

You aren't going to train a brat in one comeback.

 

[ulrich]

You can just laugh or ignore.

Maybe she is just dumb or uncalibrated.
If you don’t care about her, why bother with anything else?

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

I instantly got annoyed at being asked if I worked at this bar

Inner Game

Not getting instantly annoyed is the hard part. I totally relate, but this is more of an inner game issue/mindfulness - so that you don't react, instead you act. There were a lot of ways to come back at this - if you kept cool and had your wits about you - but you didn't have that option.

Frame Grab?

This is a mindset thing. Only you know if she was trying to mess with you.

Even when I see naked aggression, I reframe it for myself.

Anytime someone tries to pull some "subservient" role thing on me, I basically draw them into a situation where they don't realize they messed up.
Remember Folks will disrespect a cabbie, not realizing he could drive them off a cliff, insult a waiter not realizing he's gonna spit in their food, get mad at a government employee, who then decides to do everything by the letter.

So in a bar/club situation, start asking for IDs and cover charges. Start talking about the dress code. And start asserting your "authority".

Overall though, the key with most of the game is rarely the tech, but controlling your own emotions. That doesn't mean being a stoic robot, but understanding WHEN to unleash.

my 2 cents

WIA

 

[PalmaSailor]

She probably fancied you and it was an opener that was also a shit test.
Why else would she even bother to pass the time of day?
it should have been handled in the same way you handle all of them

Ignore
Misdirect
Reduce to absurdity

Ignore is obvious
Misdirect - yeah, but you’re definitely not coming in - there’s a dress code, you’re gonna have to go home and change into something respectable [shit eating grin]
RTA - work here? Hell no, I own the place and all the other bars along the strip

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Inner Game

Not getting instantly annoyed is the hard part. I totally relate, but this is more of an inner game issue/mindfulness - so that you don't react, instead you act. There were a lot of ways to come back at this - if you kept cool and had your wits about you - but you didn't have that option.

Frame Grab?

This is a mindset thing. Only you know if she was trying to mess with you.

Even when I see naked aggression, I reframe it for myself.

Anytime someone tries to pull some "subservient" role thing on me, I basically draw them into a situation where they don't realize they messed up.
Remember Folks will disrespect a cabbie, not realizing he could drive them off a cliff, insult a waiter not realizing he's gonna spit in their food, get mad at a government employee, who then decides to do everything by the letter.

So in a bar/club situation, start asking for IDs and cover charges. Start talking about the dress code. And start asserting your "authority".

Overall though, the key with most of the game is rarely the tech, but controlling your own emotions. That doesn't mean being a stoic robot, but understanding WHEN to unleash.

my 2 cents

WIA

This one is really good and the type of answer I was looking for. Next time this one is on the top of my list. Essentially it's a work with a momentum flow like water style.