FR DO persist and DON'T hesitate

[fsc]

This was originally intended to be a journal entry, but I realized that others may be able to learn from my mistakes and improve that much faster. I've included excerpts of conversations that occurred with the girls, and I added what I should've said instead. If any of you can think of alternate responses that I could've said, please feel free to contribute.

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I realized today that one of my flaws from when I started out day gaming has carried through.

As a n00b I was so terrified of conversation--I was deathly afraid of awkward silences and not knowing what to say--that my mind easily picked up on the slightest sign of the girl's desire to exit the interaction, and I bowed out. It was sort of like giving myself an excuse. My mind would be like "Oh, she said/did this. I don't think I can escalate, and the interaction is gonna die out, so let's not try to make this awkward. I shall now gracefully exit." I remember now one of the members advised me that I give up to quickly. He was right. I need to work on persisting.

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FU: Classy, gorgeous, French girl
She was definitely one of the most beautiful girls I've ever approached. She was like an early-20s Erin Andrews.

Me: Excuse me, I just saw you walk by as I was sitting over there, and I just really had to come tell you that you are gorgeous (my voice was extra deep and a little more projected for some reason).
Her: Oh my god, thank you so much! You totally made my day just now!

She was so warm and graceful throughout the interaction...My chest and penis still tingle with warmth just thinking about her.

I feel like I also should've said something like this because it was on my mind, and it was very specific to her.
Me (should've): I also saw you fixing your hair and like...throwing your hair back as I was walking up to you...it was quite mesmerizing.
Maybe too much?

We exchanged names, and she had a unique name so I asked about her origin. She was French.
Me (should've): I knew it...that's what drew me to you. I'm a sucker for French girls.

We exchanged some basic info after that. She was headed to the admin office to start a new club on campus, so I moderately deep dived about that and her studies.

Me: So when you're not in class or working...do you have any free time? Because I'd really love to take you out for coffee or whatever.
Her: Umm...haha...(flattered, searching for words) I actually live with my boyfriend...and he gets pretty jealous...

So this is where my old, flawed self resurfaced. I don't remember what I said, but I directed the interaction to an exit.
Me (should've): Hmm...so are you saying that you WOULD go out with me, but your boyfriend would get jealous? I mean, he wouldn't be jealous if he didn't know...

Meh, at least the exit was good.
Her: Yeah, I'm sorry...But you really made my day though! Thanks again!
Me: Haha and you made my day by just walking by
Her: Aww...(sad face) Well, I'll see you around!
Me: Haha sure, and hopefully next time we run into each other, you'll be single.

Then she gave me a beautiful smile and laugh, then walked away. =,[
I might check out that club next semester or something.

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FR: Short chick with a hella bangable body

Me: Hey, excuse me.
Her: (Stops and looks at me as I walk around to her front)
Me: You walked by earlier, and I wanted to tell you that you're really cute

Basic info exchange took place.

Me: So what do you like doing in your free time? Do you smoke?
Her: Like weed?
Me: Nah...how about hookah?
Her: Yeah! I smoke hookah! I don't do weed though.
Me: I see, I don't smoke weed either. Awesome, I think we'll get along pretty well.

She just smiled and giggled. It didn't seem like she was going to extend the conversation, so...
Me: So, I'm gonna let you get to work...because we don't want you to get fired now.
Her: (Laughs)
Me: But let me get your number real quick so we can hang out some time.

I texted her as soon as I rejoined my group of friends:
Me: Hey, this is fsc. Nice meeting you. Let me know what your schedule is like for the next few days so we can hookah or whatever.
Her: (5 min later) Alright I definitely will

Then I texted asking her about her last name a few hours later, because I was genuinely curious about the last name she entered into my phone, but no response yet.

I ended conversation earlier than I needed to. I should've walked with her to her car, and I should've built a stronger connection and try to set up a more sexual frame. Bleh.

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OR: Don't hesitate
I was back with my group of friends when I noticed a cute brunette sitting alone. We made brief eye contact twice. YES, I need to go talk to her...but I couldn't think of a good opener. I thought about saying something about her dress, but I couldn't come up with anything genuine because I didn't actually like her dress =p . So I was about to go in with some sort of a "you're cute" opener when my friend gets me into a conversation. I'm trying to kill the conversation when I see some other dude approach her. FUCK.

She doesn't seem very receptive, but he persists and stays. He eventually sits down about 3-5 minutes later. She still doesn't really seem all that interested, but she's listening to what he's saying. And he's talking A LOT. FUCK.

Damn it...I KNOW I could've done well with her. She looked at me twice. But because I wasted too much time, I lost my opportunity.

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FU: Sunglasses girl
The three reports above were from earlier today, but this was about a week ago. Fortunately, I don't always give up easily; I do persist, although I definitely could be persisting more. I think I was being a little beta today because I was running on 5 hours of sleep and an empty stomach. So this was a case where I persisted, but still, I could've pushed a little more.

I was sitting with my friend, waiting for another friend, when I noticed a black-haired white girl looking in our direction 3-5 times. She was also looking around, so I figured she was a prime approach target. She began smiling as I began walking up to her. She was wearing Ray Bans with green lenses.

Me: Hey, your sunglasses caught my eyes multiple times, and I see that you're just sitting here, so I figured I'd come say hello. So hello.

We exchanged names then I started off by talking about her sunglasses. I got some investment early on by having her take them off and let me examine them. Man, she was gorgeous...a Victoria Justice lookalike, except with a slimmer face. I tried not to appear and sound too friendly since I didn't open direct with her. She was smiling, and she seemed somewhat nervous and excited as well.

Then I got some basic info from her and deep dived a little bit.

Me: So what do you like doing in your free time?
Her: I actually don't have a lot of free time because I'm taking more than maximum units, and I also work.
Me: Aww, that's unfortunate...because I was about to ask you out for coffee or dessert or whatever haha. I'm pretty sure we can find some time.
Her: Haha (flattered)...umm. I'm actually engaged.

Then she talked about her Chechen culture, how she was arranged for marriage, etc. We talked for at least 10 more minutes, but her smile and excited nervousness had faded away. She looked a little sad.

Me: What would happen if you disobeyed your parents?
Her: Hahaha...they'd probably disown me.

When I asked her that, I was straight up curious. Now that I think about it, I could've, and should've pushed it.

Me (should've): So...what would happen if you disobeyed your parents? (With a sexy, mischievous smile and bedroom voice)
Her: Hahaha...they'd probably disown me.
Me (should've): Well, I think you'd be fine off on your own. Finance is not a bad degree to have
Her: (Whatever response)
Me (should've): If anything, I'd hire you as the CFO of my corporation...but I don't think we'd get much work done...(with a sexy, mischievous smile and bedroom voice)
Her (ideally): (Laugh and bite lips...hehehe)
Me (maybe?): So is your fiancee also here in LA or back home?

Do you think the last one is a little too much/forward?

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Hope this helps

 

[Chase]

Re: FR/FU/OR: DO persist and DON'T hesitate

fsc-

Good you wrote this up. This is the sort of day that if you don't analyze it much, you can shrug and say, "Meh, some missed opportunities," but when you go back and analyze it and realize you're bailing too soon from interactions that might've gone somewhere had you persisted, you come away from it with an instant upgrade for future outings.

Comments:

FU: Classy, gorgeous, French girl

You have some "should have" statements here that really lay the compliments on thick, but are what you really felt like saying.

I'd suggest running with that next time and trying it out multiple times on multiple different women. Even if it doesn't click the first time, you can probably adapt it in a way that makes it work. The most effective game is always going to be the sort that just rolls right off your tongue and lines up perfectly with what you're feeling on the inside.

This is also why direct works best on women you're very attracted to. The compliment is more genuine, your nonverbals are really into it, and it just comes across a lot more better than going direct on girls you're less into.

If it's what you want to say, say it, and adjust later if it doesn't work perfectly. Everybody's got his own little wrinkles in game that serve him best.

She just smiled and giggled. It didn't seem like she was going to extend the conversation, so...
Me: So, I'm gonna let you get to work...because we don't want you to get fired now.
Her: (Laughs)
Me: But let me get your number real quick so we can hang out some time.

Not bad. But next time:

• fsc: So, I'm gonna let you get to work...because we don't want you to get fired now.
  Her: (Laughs)
  fsc: But let's grab hookah or hang out sometime before October rolls in.
  Her: Umm... okay!
  fsc: Cool. Let me get your number then and I'll text you.

Commitment consistency. Once she's committed, she's a lot more likely to follow through than if all she committed to was giving you her number. If "so we can hang out sometime" is just tacked on at the end, she isn't really committing to the date... this is more an after thought.

By moving that up to the first thing you ask, she has to agree to the date BEFORE you trade numbers, which means there's no ambiguity about what that trade was for.

Then I texted asking her about her last name a few hours later, because I was genuinely curious about the last name she entered into my phone, but no response yet.

This is one I probably wouldn't do over text. Ask her in person. Questions about a person's name are cliché questions she'll tend to get asked a lot by a lot of different guys, which are okay if you ask them in person when you can recover from the value hit of being repetitive by having strong fundamentals and quickly moving on to more original conversation, but if you do it over text and she gets a cliché question there she's had asked her before (and even if your question is a unique spin on the last name question, it's still a "last name" question to her and gets tossed in with all the other lame guys who ask her last name questions).

Girls with standard last names and funky last names get asked this one both by guys fishing for something to talk about with them. Search for more interesting conversation. And, try to steer clear of text dialogues:

How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips and Techniques

OR: Don't hesitate
I was back with my group of friends when I noticed a cute brunette sitting alone. We made brief eye contact twice. YES, I need to go talk to her...but I couldn't think of a good opener. I thought about saying something about her dress, but I couldn't come up with anything genuine because I didn't actually like her dress =p . So I was about to go in with some sort of a "you're cute" opener when my friend gets me into a conversation. I'm trying to kill the conversation when I see some other dude approach her. FUCK.

This one's a painful one. You will have it happen to you time and again whenever you hesitate. Sometimes you might even see a girl alone for 5 or 6 minutes, and think, "All right, I'm heading over there in just a second... wait one more minute..." until finally some guy approaches her and you're going, "Drat! I did that to myself AGAIN!"

Sometimes it might be okay, in a party situation, where you let some girl talk to random guys for now and you'll just snap her up later when you can do so more fluidly. But most of the time, with cold approach, you get one window, and if you don't start moving within a couple of seconds of realizing it's open, either she's going to leave because it gets awkward waiting for you to, or some other opportunistic guy notices the window and jumps in it before you can, even if it was intended for you.

Me: So what do you like doing in your free time?
Her: I actually don't have a lot of free time because I'm taking more than maximum units, and I also work.
Me: Aww, that's unfortunate...because I was about to ask you out for coffee or dessert or whatever haha. I'm pretty sure we can find some time.

I'd recommend shift from a negative reaction to women saying they're busy to a positive / adventurous one:

• fsc: So what do you like doing in your free time?
  Her: I actually don't have a lot of free time because I'm taking more than maximum units, and I also work.
  fsc: Excellent. So you'll be all the more into it when we grab a relaxing, refreshing hot chocolate and donuts at this little café I know downtown.

Me (should've): So...what would happen if you disobeyed your parents? (With a sexy, mischievous smile and bedroom voice)
Her: Hahaha...they'd probably disown me.
Me (should've): Well, I think you'd be fine off on your own. Finance is not a bad degree to have
Her: (Whatever response)
Me (should've): If anything, I'd hire you as the CFO of my corporation...but I don't think we'd get much work done...(with a sexy, mischievous smile and bedroom voice)
Her (ideally): (Laugh and bite lips...hehehe)
Me (maybe?): So is your fiancee also here in LA or back home?

Do you think the last one is a little too much/forward?

I'd do this:

• fsc: So...what would happen if you disobeyed your parents? (With a sexy, mischievous smile and bedroom voice)
  Her: Hahaha...they'd probably disown me.
  fsc: Don't worry, we'd find you a way to support yourself. What are you good at?
  Her: Well, I work as a store clerk, and I like dancing...
  fsc: Ballet, or exotic?
  Her: Haha... more like just dancing on the weekends.
  fsc: Maybe we can make you one of those girls who dances on a raised platform at the club and swings her head around in circles while wearing body paint.
  Her: My parents would DEFINITELY hate THAT!
  fsc: Too bad they've disowned you and you can now do WHATEVER you WANT.

Something like that. Use it as a roleplaying opportunity to talk about her being free from her parents' grip, her getting naughty and sexual since she's now free, and position it as the two of you making your way through the world together, you looking out for her (in funny / sexual ways).

This is always a lot of fun to do.

Anyway, good on the approaches, fsc, and keeping chipping away at phrasing and structure. Try to get more buy-in from women before asking them for phone numbers, and turn conversation elements that seem not useful into roleplay opportunities if you can.

Chase