Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appearance?

[Ezio]

Hello, gents of GC!

I think this is a nuance worth being addressed even by the most experienced members of GirlsChase; within an article or as a reply to this post. Maybe it is not important at all, but I have a feeling that it is a nuance that might have a certain effect in the way we carry ourselves and what outcome we get because of it.

For example, something that happens with me is that when people first meet me or see me from a distance, they seem to overly respect me. It seems like they get submissive and like I see a "trembling" in their voice. They treat me so good!

Give it two or more rounds(days) of them staying with me and they lose all that respect of me, not treating me that seriously and even ignore or start trying to dominate me and ultimately challenge me.

I think that might happen because from distance and with people I don't know, before interacting with them, just in distance, I keep a dead serious face and act aloof. Then they start to gravitate towards me and when we start interacting, I think I smile a lot and laugh by saying a lot of jokes.

What is happening here? Personality and value incongruence? If it is about the incongruence, then besides that, what general truth stands to it when it comes to people's evaluation of others?

Thank you,

-Ezio.

 

[Inbocca]

Re: Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appeara

Been running into this same issue a lot, here's what I've observed/started working on.

When people first meet you, they only have your outward appearance to go off of: clothes, eye contact, posture, walk, grooming, physical form, etc. It sounds like you're getting valued pretty highly at first based on the reactions you're describing. But as you spend more time with people, your real personality starts to become let on through those nuances you're describing. Things like your voice, the things you talk about, the way you talk about them, the way you treat other people (which shows a lot about how you see yourself in comparison to them), how you handle situations, and so on. Sometimes people will just ask questions or do things simply to see how you'll react. Once they have that reference point, they'll know what they can get away with.

You might be onto something with the smiling/laughing. Showing teeth is a sign of submission among primates; if you use a lot of teeth when you smile, or if you're often smiling to try and break tension, it can definitely make you look supplicating. If you tend to laugh whenever other people laugh (I catch myself doing that all the time, it drives me crazy), it looks like you're following their lead. There's nothing wrong with being a fun, pro-social guy; but the way you go about doing it makes all the difference. There's tons of articles on how to do all that, I really need to reread them myself.

 

[Ezio]

Re: Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appeara

Hey, Inbocca. I am glad you have answered this post, thank you!

That is some nice information and observation. I didn't know that showing teeth is a sign of submission.

I am able to understand what you are saying and all this in a logical level but I am not being able to make sense of it or internalize it in a emotional level. It is not just about the act of smiling, it is more of the whole supplicating thing, being weaker thing. I am still figuring that out, although I don't think I am far to finally comprehending it.

Some straight technical explanations or confirmations would be useful if anyone else too, here, would want to share and would be very welcome!

-Ezio.

 

[Bete Noire]

Re: Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appeara

Yeah i have the same problem! Might start to smile more with the ol' mouth shut then - it's like whenever people see me super happy i'm worth less in an environment than when i'm somber or aloof.
Love being a social guy, but i also love pussy. Let me know if you guys have more info ^^

 

[Seppuku]

Re: Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appeara

Hey guys,

Changing the way I smile had a very big impact for me, it was one of the biggest change on my fundamentals.

I was taught that it's good to smile, put up a happy face, and show others that you are a happy person.

So for decades I used to have that friendly, broad smile across my face. My smile would come up easily, so pretty much all the time. I wasn't aware at all of what it was saying about me: the ever friendly happy chap. Harmless chap. If you appear harmless, no wonder other people will try to dominate you. No wonder you end up in the girls far orbiting distance.

Then I worked on my "slow smile", as taught in Girls Chase. It's a half smile, sometimes just a hint of a smile, mouth closed, that says "I know more than you know". It's the sort of smile that goes very well with a wink. It doesn't communicate happiness, but rather mystery, smartness and sexy vibe. Also, I stopped smiling all the time, and started playing with it. I can be straight face and build tension ("what the hell is he thinking?"), then release it with this half smile. Or I can you my smile as a reward in response to the other person, like getting me smiling is the prize.

Works muuuuch better.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Bete Noire]

Re: Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appeara

Thanks to all the guys posting advice on here for this, went out this past week and utilized it and this is what i found/ felt:

I felt like I had to smile whilst generally talking to mates and even if I didn't find something funny I would still smile,

Tension builds really quickly when you don't smile, or at least I felt increasingly like the others in an interaction would think I was a dick for not doing so,

Smiling less/ using that half smile with women when i went out with the lads was dynamite! Whipped it out when I'd be saying something cheeky with strong eye contact and they'd be giggling away.

So I'm starting to see that the wide grin is way to friendly, thus adding the smirk into my interactions. However if feel like when talking to my mates/ other guys, not smiling increases tension. This could be me misinterpreting it, just like on the start of my journey using eye contact. If you have any more guiding points, or ways in which I misinterpreted your advice let me know!

 

[Drck]

Re: Do we look weaker when we smile or laugh,how does smiling affect our appeara

It's all relative, it depends...


Is the guy too nice, too compliant, too submissive, overall weak? Too many smiles may hurt his attraction, he will only look weaker... He should be smiling less, he is too weak...

Is the guy too friendly, too cool, too outgoing? He should be smiling less, he is killing too much of sexual tension, there is no seriousness in his behavior...

Is the guy robust, angry looking, 240 pounds of muscles? He should be smiling more, otherwise girls will run away from him...

Is the guy depressed, feeling down, unhappy,...? He should be smiling more, otherwise no one will want to associate with him...