Do you believe in marriage?

[Smith]

Girl gets caught cheating on her husband.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnVRHk5sSew

This probably happens a lot these days. I don't know. Probably not all girls are like this, but we could never be sure. Girls are full of surprises and inconsistencies.

It made me question about the whole 'marriage' thing and what is it suppose to do?

I know it's a thing society created to make sure (almost) every man gets a wife, otherwise there would be chaos.

I felt like I have lost faith in marriage and even committed relationship. If my gf cheats on me one day, I probably wouldn't even be surprised.

Do people do it because of love? or neediness? or resources?

It's starting to feel like most guys do it because of neediness and girls do it for resources, and that there may not even be any 'real' love involved.

Love is merely neediness in disguise in most cases.

 

[Tim Iron]

Love is merely neediness in disguise in most cases

You got it right...

 

[ray_zorse]

I'd say love boils down to 3 things
(1) infatuation - you can't stop thinking about each other, want to be together all the time, want your dick in her, etc
(2) compatibility - you have similar needs and wants, ideas, etc
(3) mutual respect - you think the other person is above you, at least in their specific areas, you admire how they go about things

Well we all know (1) does not last. I've heard 6-7 years mentioned as the timeframe for this to fade, and this seems about right because when my eldest son was 4-5 years and in kindergarten there were basically no separated families, now he's in 6 and in grade 1 there are a lot of separated families. H'm!

However, if (2) and (3) exist then the marriage / partnership will likely be a successful one, at least as far as these things go.

I completely agree that it's society's construct to make sure even dicks can get a wife, Chase's article on the main site is on point here (conservative society, China, % of men who can get a wife is mid 90s, here mid 80s, from memory).

Having been married I think it's a crock, however if you want to have kids it may be your best option, just find someone who won't take you for a ride. I'm definitely not looking to start a second family, maybe I was before I discovered GC... but now I can see having a circle of FWB doesn't preclude (2) and (3) and if I find a good woman for LTR then great, can simply move on if attraction fades.

Ray

 

[daviddreamer]

I'm married so yes I believe in marriage. My marriage is young though wish me luck. Cognitive dissonance is rough though when I surf these boards; One part of me understands human nature and know what lies ahead. I also see how the institution of marriage was constructed and the severe financial consequences that happen when things don't work out. And yes you do lose some relationship management tools when you get married. Its pretty inevitable and it isn't pretty when you try to run things like you did when you first became the lover.

Lets just say I have to work that much harder to stay dominate and be attractive for my wife for a much longer time. Some may argue that you don't need to get married to do this but since I have been married I have improved drastically in communication, solving differences, active listening, and patience. Some may also argue you don't need to get married to have kids either but I want kids one day as well. It may sound boring to most members here but I literally dream of the life with a decent house in a good neighborhood with 2 kids going to the bus stop for school and my wife taking care of the kids while I work my corporate job. I chose my wife based on this compatibility...shes a home-body like me lol.

In any case I have no regrets about the decision I have made. And yes I was a frequent member on these boards before I got married.