Does anyone else have this feeling?

Gaturro

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 25, 2021
Messages
72
So you are in good shape, getting consistent results, then you meet a girl you really like, and eventually (with time and investment from her part) you end up making her your girlfriend.

But after a few months you realize that the tests never stop. She starts testing your frame, doing things to see how you react, etc, more and more.

When this happens I get pissed. I chose YOU, above all other girls, and now you are giving me all these tests?

I know that we are not supposed to comply with what she asks, we can't look needy, etc. But I can't avoid getting pissed when I see this behavior, and sometimes I even fail these tests because these feelings of being entitled to her good behavior are stronger than my rational brain telling me what to do game-wise.

I wanted to ask you if this has ever happened to you, and how to get over it. I know the theory, I know exactly when it happens and why it happens, I know what to do, but sometimes I just can't control it. I fail because I don't like having to deal with this.

What do you think the solution is? Most girls are just not worth the drama/tests/etc, but some girls are worth it (the tests, not the drama), and I would like to improve and control my emotions. Thanks for reading!
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,008
In my experience there's two things that need to be considered when a woman starts playing up.

1. Is there something wrong with what I'm doing (generally in life, with her, whatever) that is causing her to behave like this?
2. If not, you just have to ramp up your own frame and escalate things.

Very often it's the first one, we guys tend to put on the brakes when a woman comes on board because it seems like we don't need to compete so much any more or put so much pressure on ourselves to develop. Are you the same guy she courted, or even better? Or did you think it was OK now to slow down?

Even and so, you have to have make her feel the strength of your frame regularly and test her compliance, and to do this consistently it has to be part of your self expression, not a reaction. You can't win with a woman by being defensive. The frame always has to be 'this is what I want, why are you not complying?' she has to feel like she's got to do things if she wants to maintain what she's got. If that's not the frame, you're probably being to accommodating for the sake of trying to maintain the status quo, she will smell this and start to feel insecure, and start playing games to get you roused.

The number one issue I've seen in relationships (and generally what's put my own relationships in jeopardy) is that guys are reluctant to put pressure on something that they want to maintain. Unfortunately, that's exactly what you have to do. You can't keep a business running at full speed without pressure driving people. You can't keep a girl fully invested without pressure driving her. Nobody ever invested in anything that wasn't easy without pressure, that's the reality of life. And pressure always means stress, so you have to have good stress tolerance, better than her.

Do you want to be the one pressured, or the one putting on the pressure? But if you're going to be the one putting on pressure, it has to be on yourself first and then on her.
 

Wick

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
906
The nature of femininity is chaos.

Masculinity is order.

Women love men who can maintain order.

But it doesn’t have to be a chore/feel horrible.

Perhaps you are trying to pass these tests in an unnecessary way or aren’t aware of how to capitalize on the reward of passing the test (her submission and love, great sex).

Because there is a way to “pass” these tests without really noticing them.

There is another factor, perhaps you two are not compatible in areas. A test that is arising out of her needs not being met, and those needs being something you are unwilling to meet or unable to meet, is a different situation than what I laid out above.

Give us more details, what those tests look like, the dynamics between you, whatever you think is relevant.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
3,272
Location
South Florida
When this happens I get pissed. I chose YOU, above all other girls, and now you are giving me all these tests?

I know that we are not supposed to comply with what she asks, we can't look needy, etc. But I can't avoid getting pissed when I see this behavior, and sometimes I even fail these tests because these feelings of being entitled to her good behavior are stronger than my rational brain telling me what to do game-wise.

^those are the problems right there, you failed.... Again this is on you, that is normal women behavior, most don't even know they are doing it, shit test happens in relationships.... But they totally STOP, if they keep happening is that you did something wrong to handle them.....

When women go into a relationship they need to know how much she can get away with, were your boundaries are, where is your sweet spot....

^again this is totally normal, once you handle these things right they totally stop, or happens every once in a blue moon....

Post samples... So i can show you how to deal with this and the dynamics, again something is off.... Read this
 
Top