Does Becoming Good With Women Make Other Guys Not Like You?

[Rage]

I had a question about something that I’ve been thinking about lately:

Does becoming better with women make other guys not like you (or at least create more cause for disliking you)?

I feel like it sort of does… like guys are frustrated with women and how they can’t be understood and you have to date them and spend all this money on them… and then if you just appear and girls are super warm to you and touching you and flirting with you and you’re getting it all effortlessly, it makes them sort of not like you (like fuck this lucky guy, why are girls going to him he’s not even that good looking or buff etc.). I’m a likeable enough guy and sort of have a penchant for making friends without meaning to (and without being extroverted either)… but this is something I’ve been starting to suspect/realize lately.

What I stated above would be my guess as to why that would potentially be happening… but I’m not really sure and maybe there’s much more here that I don’t understand.

Curious on anyone’s thoughts on the matter though! Lol

 

[Franco]

Gem,

Good question. I think it really depends on you. Generally when I'm in a situation involving girls and guys that I know, I tend to give everyone some of my attention. It's not really a conscious thing either, but I'm always paying attention to what people have to say and either responding or at least acknowledging it. I've always been somewhat empathetic and never like leaving people out.

So even when guys see me doing well with girls, they just always assume it's because of my outgoing and charismatic personality. If anything, they tend to admire it and want to stick around me because it usually means there will be happy, flirty girls nearby.

I can see where if you're a more introverted guy who doesn't talk too much where this can be a problem. If a guy isn't conversing with you much but sees you swooping in on the girls, in his mind, he's going to assume you're the competition. You're a guy who girls love, and you don't really try to "share" that love with them, so they feel left out. In reality, this isn't something that should bother you anyway, but the more introverted you are, the more likely it is to happen.

I only answer this question because I have a lot of guy friends that have no problem with the attention I get from women, but it's mostly because I appear pretty effortless about it, and I don't ignore my friends either. If it's a group situation, generally I'm involved with everyone around me.

- Franco

 

[Rage]

Hey Franco,

That’s a great point! I didn’t think of it like that…

I’m sort of a split personality and sometimes I’m more outgoing and into talking to people, socializing and being empathetic and warm and stuff… and other times I’m more reflective,  quiet and brooding and dark and stuff… and I’ll mix both styles with  talking to women.

I could talk a little about the experience(s) that have gotten me thinking about this topic briefly:

I used to go to the gym at night last year and have been going during the day this year. At night I was much more outgoing and majority of the people there were guys and I was outgoing and would lift with other guys and had many acquaintances and friends… and what you said is what would happen! Like the odd pretty girl that would come by and I’d go meet and guys seemed fine with it and fine with a girl acting interested to an outgoing guy.

This year going to the gym during the day, I’ve been more serious about my workout, and more brooding and introverted. I have 1 guy friend at the gym (compared to like some 20 plus friends/acquaintances I had at night) and there are a lot more women there during the day, and I will offhandedly meet many more women during the day than the odd one women or two a month I’d get to meet at the gym last year.

Also something I noticed is that it’s the alpha guys during the day that don’t like me. During the day, of the lower amount of guys there, there are beta guys who will like step out of my way when I walk by and are more reserved and shy around the women too… but there are alpha meathead guys there too, who would glare at me and dislike seeing a woman twirling her hair talking to me who he would have otherwise been trying to get by acting buff, and alpha and impressive.

It was where I first noticed this phenomenon and seems as you say Franco, they see me as competition and don’t like it (while the beta guys are passive, nice and indifferent because they didn’t see the women as attainable to them in the first place). As long as I keep out of trouble, I'll be good hopefully ha