Does being more Animated work better?

[Maxxz]

Okay so fellas, and the experienced guys out here. I've been trying out two methods lately when talking to women. The first method is to be the very mysterious type, asking questions in a very chilled manner, acting laid back, cool, maybe too cool. And the second one is to be more animated, like really engage the girl with my hands moving, talking to her I guess you could say, in a free flowing style, not giving a fuck and just looking at her, like I just wanna rip her apart sexually at that moment.

And the latter seems to be paying more dividends than the former, the more cool relaxed guy seems to put girls into auto pilot. So what gives fellas? If I'm to understand things, being more relaxed and mysterious, cool when talking to the ladies is what's kinda advocated here. Or is there a correlation with the second part?

Would love some wisdom from the experienced guys and any other who wants to chime in. Thanks.

 

[Howell]

Hi Maxxz,

I don't think there is any one way you can go about seducing all girls, and GC does not have any sort of concrete, one size fits all ideal. And being cool and mysterious is in no way mutually exclusive from being animated, either. Quite simply, different situations call for different levels of animatedness and coolness. Combine these two methods of yours while avoiding contrivance and you'll be flying. Robert Downey Jr. is a great example of this.

-Howell

 

[Adam101]

Short Answer: Yes.

This is actually something I've been focusing on personally as I initially wanted to be a full on Don Draper type of seducer. The cool, mysterious type is an attractive ideal ingrained into us thanks to James Bond but what I find in practice is that most girls read it as "uninterested." While there is a matter of degree girls very much want us to give a shit about them and think that they're a big deal. But it's all in how you present it. When you're trying to be cool and mysterious it comes off as you being unimpressed with a girl when she very much wants you to be. Not only that but taking on that role puts you at a single frequency which for women leads to quick boredom.

By contrast her presence making you animated will be a positive form of validation for her. Girls want to be liked by men. They want us to be reactive to them cause it affirms their value. When you're calm and cool it makes her feel like she isn't a big deal, as if she doesn't matter and maybe if her ass was rounder or her tits were bigger or her stomach flatter (get the idea?) then she would of gotten a response from this man whom she thought was an attractive, obtainable mate. We probably unintentionally reject more women than we realize as a result. It's not so much them losing interest as them feeling rejected.

Getting back to being animated, what you convey when taking that trait on is that you are fun and exciting and when girls go out that is EXACTLY what they are looking for. So that's the value you want to prove you can provide. And most importantly you display that you are alive VS being this fucking downer who can't be bothered by this cute girl who just came into your life. Being more animated will also promote variance in your vocal tones making you more interesting to hear even if you're just talking about the weather. Bottom line I believe when it comes to game in a typical bar / nightclub setting (and even in day game) being animated just plays more into what women are looking for and puts out the right signals.

The only exception I can think of to this is a lounge bar or more classy, black tie-esque type of venue where the overall mood is meant to be more relaxed and chill. In that case the tone is set for you to play it cool and mysterious. I'm willing to bet if you watched all the scenes in James Bond where he picks up a woman most of if not all of the time it's in a setting where everything is cool and relaxed. Basically he's in an environment that suits his vibe. In most environments however, when you start interacting with a girl you like best bet is to make the sparks fly.

 

[GeneralFap]

I totally agree with you about this. I find that trying to be James Bond only screws up a lot of men because they try to look too alpha, and they end up looking either try-hard or just simply bore people with their stillness. I think James Bond only works for a few types of men, usually tall men, very masculine men. Normal guys, however, I think would benefit from adding some gestures to their interactions. Here's a video by a dating coach who calls himself "Magic," which talks about animation. You should check it out it's really interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_9LtVLlViU

 

[Lotus]

As Howell said there is no one set way. IF your fundamentals are on point both styles will work.

Can you honestly say your fundamentals are too a point where you can pull James Bond? How strong is your eye contact? Is your wardrobe fashionable and attractive? There are plenty of guys here who can run that style and are not considered "tall, dark, and handsome".

the more cool relaxed guy seems to put girls into auto pilot

When you run this style how do you convey interest? When you run high energy game, you convey interest by your energy itself. Low energy game obviously does not work the same way. Interest must by conveyed with strong eye contact, or the context of the conversation.

We probably unintentionally reject more women than we realize as a result. It's not so much them losing interest as them feeling rejected.

Exactly, so don't let them feel rejected. Reward them for their effort.

The animated style works better for newer guys because it's more forgiving, but it is more likely to end you up in the friend/ bf zone. The cool guy relies heavily on his fundamentals to portray him as sexy, but his mistakes are more likely to screw up the interaction.

You should really focus on the fundamentals first before trying to critique your style, because until then you won't be fully able to understand why certain things you do are and are not working.

hope this all makes sense

-brum