Does deep dive really work on cold approach?

[razir110]

Hi all,

I've been approaching tons of women lately so I have a lot of questions

I noticed that when cold approaching, deep dive doesn't work well for me. Girls are generally wishy-washy when a guy just comes up to them and starts talking, so for me it's a bit hard to actually develop a conversation based on deep dive.

I think that being sexual, edgy and cocky is a much better approach. Keep the conversation with sexual tone, challenge her, say silly things about love and romance.

What do you guys think about this?

 

[rockstar]

Depends. If you're approaching a girl on the street or something, you usually won't have time to get a bunch of conversational investment from her. It's going to be a lot more banter/flirting, showing value, and screening the situation.

With some really dtf girls in nightgame you won't need that much investment either.

But I use it on insta-dates or longer nightgame sets.

 

[razir110]

Right, deep dive seems most appropriate on a date and actually it's essential if you want to have anything with her.

Deep dive on cold approach seems good in an ideal world

 

[StrayDog]

deep diving is best when used deeper into a a seduction. I most commonly experience it around the second phase of a date/insta date. After the meet and greet, when things start to get a bit more personal. The next phase usually tends to be playfully banter with a sexual charge, then the pull.

I think you can still have personal elements during cold approach, but they aren't always the move, and they are never too deep when they do make sense for the interaction. Sharing something personal/ inquiring into something personal can build comfort. During cold approach when I have seen this happen with success it is usually more of a brief rapport building moment, than it is a deep dive. Then things pivot back to the flirtation.

Deep dive from a relative stranger is pretty invasive and off putting. You need a good deal of momentum and rapport to pull off a deep dive and have it suit your seductive purposes.

Also, in my experience deep diving too soon can also slot you into the friend or boyfriend category. Because it set's a precedent of having these deep talks with each other, and that becomes the dominant tone of your interactions henceforth. It can be really tricky to break out of that frame.

It is always beneficial to have a woman really opening up about her self to you, but it is also crucial that you lead that into the right direction. I personally wouldn't start on that foot.

 

[Will_V]

Hi all,

I've been approaching tons of women lately so I have a lot of questions

I noticed that when cold approaching, deep dive doesn't work well for me. Girls are generally wishy-washy when a guy just comes up to them and starts talking, so for me it's a bit hard to actually develop a conversation based on deep dive.

I think that being sexual, edgy and cocky is a much better approach. Keep the conversation with sexual tone, challenge her, say silly things about love and romance.

What do you guys think about this?

Really depends on how well you set up your own frame. If you're nervous at all, deep diving won't work, since the vibe of it needs to be something very spontaneous and natural. The setting also plays a role - I can deep dive women I meet in parks or out walking in calm settings rather quickly, but it won't work well in a mall.

The feeling I want to create when I go up and deep dive a girl quickly is "I'm here feeling a certain way about life and you happened to catch my eye as I was thinking deeply about things". Then it becomes quite natural to move fast to deeper topics, especially if she's somewhat in the same frame of mind. If your body language or vibe isn't congruent with that - like you're too alert or focused for example - it doesn't work.

That's why it's best to find an approach that's congruent with your personality and presentation, the setting, her mood, etc - you don't want to try and deep dive while you're in a super extroverted mood, or with a girl who's running around trying to solve some shopping problems for example. There's no one size fits all.

 

[James D]

A useful reminder:

The technique is not the issue.

It's your timing.

Even the best technique in the world will fall flat when used at the wrong time.

It's okay if your timing is off. That's part of the learning process.

Kuddos for approaching girls and trying things out!

You've got some excellent feedback in this thread. Adjust and try again.

You got this