Does it bug you when you see chasers doing better than you?

[Paulie Walnuts]

So I went to this party on Friday night, hadn't gone back into that scene for about a month. Saw my old friends etc. etc.

All of my friends in that scene have super hot GF's, they switch them every couple weeks/months, and really have no game at all. Shitty dress sense/shitty fundamentals, not much of a social status; is this a variation of extended social circle game? (They take girls as friends to parties and hangout over the course of a couple weeks, then eventually end up together).

I'm not quite sure what they're doing that's different than me, one of these guys (that tends to get more girls than the rest), actively steals from everyone else (he's an old business partner from my time in running "for profit" house parties), super short kid, total douchebag (he once did a line of coke off a girls boobs then made her pay for it lmao), he's like 5'4 (but a DJ, just not a very good one), and the way he "persists" is texting girls for days on end until they finally go out with him.

Is this a case of, what women look for in boyfriends vs. what they look for in one night stands?

I've been doing the coffee date thing even back before I started GC, I always figured needed to get a girl alone and out with me to bond with her emotionally, so I was happy that was one thing I learned here that I was already doing correctly.

I just never understood how my mates could take girls to parties, hangout with them like orbiters (being "friend zoned" pretty much), but then all end up with them.

I think I just need to go approach more girls haha. They've invited me to start kickin it with them more, I don't like to make much time for friends as my priority list is: Making money doing Real Estate, Getting straight A's in school, Working out and building my body (plus toning I want my abs back), then approaching and getting girls. I'm known for doing these things but I don't have much experience in the "Social Circle Game". Most of my pulls are from online (Okcupid, POF, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel), then Nightgame, then Daygame, then finally Social Circle. Even back when I was running Clubs I never really took the opportunity to try out the Social Circle Game.

Think I should do some research and try this out?

I KNOW my fundamentals have improved, even though a couple of girls I approached at the party said they had boyfriends, when we were all in a smaller room later I saw them check me out/stare at me multiple times, (like literally staring at me), I'm getting compliments on being more attractive a lot more now; I'm sure I'm just missing a couple of sticking points now (plus I haven't gotten laid since my last LR, so I'm losing my "winner effect").

Ever since coming here I have a lot more balls too, used to need a couple drinks to approach girls at a party, and though I could do it in daygame it was few and far between when I'd actually be able to come up to a girl during daygame and get her number; things are improving, I just want to move faster through this stage!

 

[Ree]

Hey,people with less game getting girls bugs me out
..I think that when you are not doing cold approach you have some great leeway in terms of game.
A coworker or a desk mate can have mediocre fundamentals,mediocre game,move slow and still get the girl.
But cold approaching...it's like if you are not perfect the girl has no scruples nexting you.this is a phenomena I have seen,although I would need the more advanced guys to tell us why this is so

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I have a hard time not translating my cold approach style to social circle game........

It needs to be an on off switch I think and calibrated differently, moving to fast in social circle is my problem with that.

 

[Bboy100]

You're probably missing something. I doubt that they're just texting her over and over and over again with no reciprocation on her part.

As for the rest of it...yes, its true. They don't need nearly as much "game". My impression is that social circle is more about strategy than execution. If you have a good plan for how exactly you're going to get girls to hang out with you and you're a likable person, you can be successful. Mix in the fact that they hold high status positions such as a DJ, and it becomes easy pickings for them. Of course, one of the huge downsides is that they can only get girls within their particular domain. For example...even though your dj friend might get more girls when he's out working, I bet that if you guys went to the mall together and did Day game, or you did Night game somewhere were he wasn't known as a dj, you would destroy him.

This is important because as soon as he leaves his niche (say he has to move, or he switches jobs, or that social circle falls apart for whatever reason), he'll be able to get no girls. Whereas a guy who's mastered cold approach will get laid regardless of who he knows. Also, a guy who does cold approach has access to a much larger variety of types of girls. Case in point, your friend probably only meets and sleeps with party girls. Whereas, once you've mastered Day Game, you'll be able to meet ALL types of women.

Note: I think social circle is very important and it's a skill that everyone should learn. Mainly because it's directly applicable to other areas of life. However, in the long term, the romantic/sexual rewards of cold approach are far greater. In fact, learning social circle is just as important to me as is cold approach.


Check these two posts out: https://www.girlschase.com/content/barri ... ct-success
https://www.girlschase.com/content/meeti ... s-and-cons

I think they will clear some things up for you.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I concur, there must be something I'm missing there. I may go hang out with them to start understanding social circle game a little more, not moving so fast (because when I'm too aggressive in social circle I've noticed it messes things up) and just seeing and researching what happens. My fundamentals are much better than their's, I've even noticed their girlfriends checking me out from time to time (when I was dating my ex, a girl one of my buddies brought kept flirting with me and touching me buuuut I was in an LTR).

 

[ProblemSolving]

I concur, there must be something I'm missing there.

What you're missing here is that he's a DJ who meets a ton of drunk girls looking to score every time he goes to work. If you want to replicate his results then become a DJ, otherwise you'd be wasting your time.

 

[Smurf]

Don't worry so much about the success of friends. Focus on yourself and get your own game and fundamentals dialed in tighter. Of course, if they're doing something right, see what it is that makes it work, analyze it and see if you can implement it. But don't do so much comparison, it can be crippling at times.

And the guys are right, these folk are probably niche, and they know how to work the angles there. You'd blow them out of the water if it was street approach.

Don't beat yourself up about it, dive in if you see fit and reap the benefits of learning from friends.

Jake.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

Thanks guys , hard not to compare myself sometimes but I'm sure I'll get there!

 

[Rusty]

I believe that there is a strong "outsider" bias that you must acknowledge.

Most men and women meet and date through proximity. Either through school, classmates, work, social circle, deliberate introduction through friends. Most men do not cold approach. This comprises almost all men. Seriously. Very few men are successful at meeting women on their own, without the pretense or situational confidence and context of work, school, or friends. I want to say ~99% of men are like this.

Most people that get into pickup are loners or social misfits. They lack social skills, lack social understanding and consequently, lack a social circle.

Once you start learning about this stuff and you realize most guys are actually pretty vanilla, boring and plain, they start comparing these men they see dating women, some which happen to be beautiful, and they judge based on the external fundamentals they can observe (body language, dress, gait, vocal tonality).

But the reality is most women are actually pretty ordinary too. Some of them are attractive, but most of these women lead boring lives, do the same 9-5 job, or the same college girl life revolving around her sorority/clubs/social circle. And they tend to date safe options. The majority of women don't go to clubs and bars on a regular basis. When you start seeing women in these venues and end up dating some of these women, your perception of women as a whole gets warped and jaded. It's a huge misrepresentation. Not all women are party types or club types.

Even if you happen to be a very well-put together man with great fundamentals, you're not automatically going to be able to "steal" a woman away from her stable relationship. I'd be pretty disheartened if it were that easy to sway a woman from her relationship. And if it is, it's a huge indicator to me about that woman and what type of character she possesses. I believe that most women are actually good and aren't the man eaters or manipulative "bitches" that so many men are bitter and scornful about.

That's why once you get to a high level of fundamentals and you have a strong foundation (identity, values, self-worth), it'll be easier to meet women who resonate with your level of self-esteem and self-worth than it is to meet women who are "average" because they will feel like you're out of their league.

Also, a lot of beautiful women out there are horribly insecure about their self-image and don't have the same perception of themselves. They don't feel like they deserve the attention. That's why you see some women who are very average looking but take care of their looks who are very self-assured or "bitchy" or arrogant, and some really naturally beautiful women who are less concerned about image who are very humble and gracious human beings. It's actually easier to date the latter than the former.

 

[Ree]

I believe that there is a strong "outsider" bias that you must acknowledge.

Most men and women meet and date through proximity. Either through school, classmates, work, social circle, deliberate introduction through friends. Most men do not cold approach. This comprises almost all men. Seriously. Very few men are successful at meeting women on their own, without the pretense or situational confidence and context of work, school, or friends. I want to say ~99% of men are like this.
.

Yeah...so true..and well explained...

. That's why once you get to a high level of fundamentals and you have a strong foundation (identity, values, self-worth), it'll be easier to meet women who resonate with your level of self-esteem and self-worth than it is to meet women who are "average" because they will feel like you're out of their league.

.man I wish I had come across this post one year ago...had to get tons of rejections from unattratractive women,before I realised fly women r easier...so weird...coming up...I thought the fat women,and unatractive women were low hanging fruit...

. Most people that get into pickup are loners or social misfits. They lack social skills, lack social understanding and consequently, lack a social circle.

Hm...really?
Maybe I just haven't seen these social misfit puaz...most puaz I know fall into two categories

1.people just not content with the limitations of their social circle,coz no matter how large your circle is..ur still not meeting very few new people...just look at these boards..people in school, In salsa ..but still cold approach becoz social circles have turnovers that r too low

2.people whose day to day activites doesn't regularly put them in close proximity with people
..e.g musicians,artists,painters,writers,magicians....in short anyone who don't work regularly employed
In his book aoron sleazy,says nearly all his students come from this grp