Does this last chance txt come across as threatening/pushy?

[lux7]

In cases that:

-A girl seems reluctant to meet up;
-I feel the window is soon to be missed;
-There are too many messages sent without any meaningful escalation

I have sometimes sent this one, tell me what you think about it (smaller part once I added it once not):

Hi xxx!
Last one from my side, don’t feel pushed -and don’t even feel forced to reply-: It’s just that quick meetups like ours have a follow-up either soon or.. Never.
So if you wanna give it a go, lemme know your next free day and we’ll try organize something, and if not.. I wish you all the best for your future .

 

[dvjackson]

Re: Does this last chance txt come across as threatening/pus

If anything it's just the opposite, it sounds apologetic. like "sorry if I'm bothering you but I was wondering if you maybe wanted to meet sometime... no pressure though..."

If things have been stagnant then you SHOULD be a little bit pushy. don't ask her if she wants to go out, tell her that you'd like to go out.

 

[Estate]

Re: Does this last chance txt come across as threatening/pus

I could be wrong but I feel like it's too wordy.

I've learned in the past that it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to explain too much in a short text and I never had good results with it.
It sounds like you want to get across the "last chance" things, also explain why, also ask her out, also sort of apologize.

To be honest I feel like you don't need to explain or it doesn't need the ultimatum approach. In theory I know you want to set the tone that she meets up with you now or you're gone...
But without serious investment from a girl (like if she's not really responding), an ultimatum, any aplogies or trying to explain the situation just ends up backfiring since she's already on the fence and it comes off like you are thinking about this much more than she is.

In this case, I'd just ask her out but be direct... and keep it light.
Instead of asking "Would you like to go out?"... I'd keep it short and go something in the directions of "Hey X, Lets hang out again, I really want to try out [X place], meet me there Thrusday at 8!"
At this point, if it's a last gasp attempt then she's either allready out and won't be up for it or saves the hassle of the "So where do you want to go?" back and forth which she probably can't be bothered engaging in.
This is just direct... you set a time, she knows that she can either take it or leave it and if you want to see her then you just have to cross your fingers but there's no gaurantees if you're already at "last gasp" stage.

 

[lux7]

Re: Does this last chance txt come across as threatening/pus

Thanks guys, very good feedbacks here.
Yes, I think it might sound too apologetic and I agree on the wordy part (however for the record this was a FB message, which can be a bit longer than texts, the text shorter version I've used was: I think if we don't meet soon we never will and it'd be a pity, so lemme know your schedule and let's do it" ).

Still not sure though if stating it clearly that (in these occasions) it's either soon or never can't be a helpful thing.

The results for me were (there's a 4th but the jury is still out on that):

1. (Possibly) Counterproductive
One girl whom I had a done a strong positive impression in person (she said so) but who seemed difficult to pin down on meeting in person (she said yes in the weekend, I proposed a bar, she said she didn't drink and fancied the environment and after that the second attempt fell on semi-deaf ears) didn't reply and after a few days I defriended her.
She then blocked me on FB and I actually interpreted it as an indicator of interest, albeit useless: would you ever block someone who's not a friend anymore and that said -and was keeping the word- of not writing you anymore unless they meant at least a little bit something to you? I think you wouldn't go through the process if someone didn't move you at least a little bit to begin with.

Would I have ever met her without the "ultimatum gambit"? Difficult to say, but it's sure that by following through with that message I definitely lost it... (lemme know if you're interested in reading the whole exchange)

2. Neutral
The girl restated her interest in meeting but confirmed she really was too busy at the moment and not trying to avoid.
I think in this case it might border on the positive actually, but I'll label it neutral as it didn't lead to anything specific and since we wrote again after that it might have made me sound as someone who doesn't follow up on his word (her father died soon after that, didn't go for the meetup again after such a tragic occurrence and only offered good words and help).

3. Positive
The text girl replied "Sure, my schedule is very busy now but i'd like to see you again so I'll think about it and let you know" (met her again after this and I believe it helped setting straight I wasn't up for many void texts and long waiting lines to meet).