Does true love really exist if one person always has a stronger attraction?

[needadvice]

Just thinking about this after reading some of the articles here on attraction.

Does true love really exist if one of the people in a relationship always has a stronger desire for the other person? I mean true love where both people love each other equally and neither person has any uncertainty about whether the other person loves him / her?

The articles on this site make it seem that one of the people in a relationship will always have the upper hand as long as they are less needy than the other person. Is there such a thing as true love where both people are calm and know that the other person loves them just as much as they love that other person?

Kind of a philsophical question but i've noticed that it is kind of the case in real life where either the girls that i have been seeing are more into me than i am into them or i am more into a girl than she is to me. It's rarely been the case where the attraction is equal

 

[ray_zorse]

Referring to this page,

#define love (char*)lie -

Uhh, depends what you mean by love, obviously if you mean INFATUATION (have to be with her 100% of the time, think of her constantly etc) then it can't really be described as TRUE love... I guess I went through a phase where I didn't believe in love either, especially after my divorce... in hindsight although I believed I was in love with my wife, I was in SCARCITY. One also does not wish to be misled by love-BOMBING which is something a girl does to stimulate feelings of infatuation in a guy, see this article for more information.

My current view is that love is something that you mutually build by investing in each other, and it's a process of positive feedback, you invest in her, this makes her invest in you, and cycle continues. As to the question of balance, well think about that promotion you were striving for the last few years, didn't it feel sweet when it eventually came? But immediately you set your sights on the next goal right? That's how a woman feels, you need to give her plenty to work towards, and she will invest in you harder and harder, and this enables love to be built. The fact that you're guiding the process by keeping things just slightly unequal, does not (in my opinion) detract from the love that is built. If you really, really love a girl and want to improve her life and happiness, the best thing you could do is consistently reward her investment. The thing is that you're compassionate in how you run your relationships whereas women are not, they tend to reward the wrong things (remember how much it sucked when you dated the girl for months and then some other guy fucked her), so you need to be in the driving seat to enable the love to be built. It's much easier to fall in love with her when she's all starry eyed and thinking you walk on water the whole time

Ray

 

[Drck]

Agree with Ray, what is "love" and what is "true love"? We all may see it differently.

For me, love is more related to emotions. When you watch some romantic movie, girl and boy fall in love, you see a sunset, you have great feelings from it and you want to experience it too, that sort of love...

Does love like that exist? Yes. I was in love like that and it is great, you have a sort of elated feelings, everything is working great, you see things differently. I just let myself go. I swear, I even saw an aura around that girl at some moments, that's how surreal it is.

But the question is, how long does it last. Couple of months? Two years? I wouldn't go further than that. The reality then kicks in, you even have sort of a withdrawals. It's like a drug, you take it and you want more and more because it feels great, but eventually your brain gets saturated with these emotions and all the feelings drop. You may even fall into depression, which is probably brains mechanism to compensate for those elated feelings....

There are also different kinds of love, say more of a friendship where the emotions are not so high but you two just fit together for many years, perhaps the whole life. This sort of live needs more maturity, you can't be too dependent on each other, you sort of have to be happy first without that woman, and than be happy with that woman, if that makes sense. I've seen many girls talking or writing about getting married to their best friend. I believe that that's what they really mean, however, there is a problem with this - as a friend your attraction will be lower than say if you are a lover...

The more she knows you (and she sees you every day) the less attraction will be there, the less satisfaction will be there... And the more both of you may be bored... You may easily wake up one day and realize that you grew apart, that there are not many things in common... You may desire change, you'll see lots of attractive and younger females around, and you'll be like WTF do I need to be married to one pussy? Don't be mistaken, she also see lots of attractive guys around, and she also have her thoughts...

Love is also about sharing. Sure, you share food and house, whatever, but how about money? Say you work really hard to make good income, yet she for whatever mysterious reasons may take a low paying job or even stay home. Are you willing to share your income? Maybe initially with no problem, but after couple of moths you may be grinding your teeth... There could be lots of anger because of finances, you just don't know until you are in that situation...

So there are two ways basically, either both of you will work actively on the marriage, be faithful and avoiding all sins, and this is something what Christians are trying to accomplish... or you won't.... Personally I've come to a realization that marriage is not natural. It's great for the kids to have mom and dad, it's the best, but living with one person the whole life.... Why...?

At the end it only comes to a realization, do I want to live with one hairy pussy for the rest of my life, or do I want more hairy pussies...? Nobody will answer that question for you...