There was such a good story to learn from, it was posted on this forum by SeductionMentality recently but for some reason I can't find it, it disappeared yesterday. I already typed it, so I'm just gonna re-post it with comments; the comments start with >>>>. It is long but really good:
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Hows it going guys! This is my first post and am excited to be a part of the community. Looking forward to getting to know everyone, ideally in a way where I could contribute to the forum and peoples success
A little bit about myself.
I come from a part of the Middle East that's seen so much bloodshed and chaos ever since (arguably) the beginning of time. We're considered the biggest ethnic group in the world (approx 40 million) without a country to call our own. Although we still reside in our original regions, we are being occupied and oppressed by 4 countries. Imagine being a people that has your own language, your own culture and your own traditions but till this day in age, still being oppressed. My friends, our homeland is called Kurdistan and we don't let no one tell us any different. But Enough about history/politics. Lets get to the nit and gritty of the topic.
I arrived in Canada in 2009, 19 years of age. Started hitting the clubs, and wasn't making the kind of success I hoped for. It wasn't till I found Girls Chase in 2013, that I checked a few of his articles and liked how genuine the material was. I than bought his mastery package. Then started approaching girls, went on a couple of dates. Than changed my job place and literally was working with one of the cutest girls there. It was my first day at the job. We started talking and starring at each other every time we had to pass by. All I knew was, I had to move fast with this one. So I asked her to come to my place for dinner the next week. I could see she was shocked! Cause she was not expecting me to ask her out so soon. Needless to say she complied and agreed for the date. Keep in mind she's two years older and this was my second girl I approached ever since discovering GC.
Everything was awesome and dandy, but I slipped.
Not with the girl, I was actually following through with my fundamentals, always being a challenge, making her chase me harder and harder to the point I knew she wasn't going to steer elsewhere for her sexual/emotional needs.
Than... we started seeing each other more and more, that it eventually became almost every other day.
In a couple of weeks we were sucked into a long term monogamous relationship. -(Thats where I slipped)
She loved it and couldn't wait to introduce me to her daughter, parents and friends. But I knew deep down it wasn't what I initially wanted.
>>>> Yes, she couldn't wait to introduce a PROVIDER to her family: Look, this guy is really great, he will take care of me and my child. He will pay for me and for my child too.
I wanted to improve my lifestyle, my fundamentals and my outlook on life. I wanted to go against the grain of conventional dating.
Fast forward to our 1st year anniversary, and she started balling her eyes out. She was upset that I still didn't want to move in with her. Hence our relationship was not making any progress. She eventually started cursing at herself, at how bad of a person she must be, that I don't want to finally move in with her.
I finally said that i would. I just couldn't take it, she cried so much, made me so emotional, due to the fact that I've invested so much time and feelings in her. It was too much to bear. I couldn't just leave her there and than. So I agreed to move in to her place.
>>>> Pure manipulation from her side and you caved in. She made you emotional, it was a trap. She was saying: Look, I am poor girl and I need help from strong guy, I'm crying because you don't really want me, I must be bad person because you don't want me. She wanted to make you feel sorry for her, put some guilt on you, make you feel really bad for her - so you can finally move in with her. And you did.
I figured why not try it. Things were awesome the first week, always had food on the table and things of the like. Than after that she would always complain about things and stress me out so much that I just wanted to go to the balcony for some fresh air. I was going through a phase of depression while I was living with her. Forgot to mention that she liked to go clubbing atleast once a month, which I didn't like about her, along with many other things I started to find out.
>>>> Exactly. The first week she was saying: Look how great I am, I will cook for you, you did really the right thing to move in. Second week comes and now she is saying: Look, you are living here with me and it is time for your to learn something about me: From now on I am the one in charge, I am the one who is going to bitch and complain, and all the things here will go the way I want. If you don't do exactly what I want I will make your life miserable. Oh, by the way, I will go clubbing at least once a month - while you will stay home and taking care of my child. You better start learning quickly boy, by this time you should already know how to cook for us, clean, wash dishes and fold clothes... There are other things you have to learn boy, and you will find out much more about the true me in the future!
I finally left her after a month of living with her. And it wasn't pretty, but I told her that I would still be there for her as a friend. Needless to say, I was a free man.
>>>> Great job! Not only your are free man, you are The Man because you left her! But she is of course pissed that you left her. Watch, revenge will come!
Then I hit an economical crisis with my job and all the debt I was in, with school, and the government, I was more concerned with getting my financial issues in order that I didn't try approaching girls or anything of the like. I was more fixated on working extra hours.
Eventually my ex called and I could feel she wanted to hang out. So I invited her over. We had sex, and she left. We continued this a few other times while i was not seeing anyone else and I was fine with it. What I didn't know was she was actually trying to see if there's any hope in getting back together again.
>>>> Yes, she was trying to see if you can come back and live with her again. This time she would be nice to you for two weeks. Simply, it was just another trap, the sex was trap to get you back... And you don't want to come back, so revenge is on its way...
Eventually someone at her workplace (she's a bartender now) referred her to an older guy, 3 years older than her, and he apparently had a good reputation. It seems like someone told her he's single and interested in her and gave her the number.
>>>> Yes, he's got a great reputation as a PROVIDER. He is reliable, honest, carrying, has many good friends and makes good money. He likes children too, and she already has a child. Why wouldn't she want someone like him? She is not stupid.
She than texted me asking where we stand in our relationship. Saying she loves me but if I only want her for sex I should let her know.
>>>> Ok boy, she is saying, here is your last chance to come back and live with me again. Those two nice weeks are still on the table, if you don't take it there is this another great guy who really wants me... Take it or those great two weeks before he starts learning my lessons will be his...
I didn't answer her text cause i was busy mentally, I actually forgot about it all together. After a few days she texted me again, and I replied. She said she's starting to see someone and that we could stay friends. I knew it was time to let her go, I said "sure friends sounds good".
That's when scarcity mentality kicked in. I felt like I was letting go of the love of my life.
>>>> I disagree. She was love of your (short) life, but you weren't love of her life. If she truly loved you she would respect you, and she would never make you feel miserable as you described above...
Things just started to seem fuzzy, and I couldn't understand it. After 3 weeks, she texted me to see how I was doing, and we kept texting back and forth (By the way, I still haven't started approaching other women still). Than (thinking she probably broke up with the guy, and wanted to still get back with me) I invited her for a drink. She texted back telling me that "what ever happened between us happened" and that she's moved on with this guy and he loves her dearly.
>>>> Now she is saying: Read my lips boy, the revenge is here. See what kind of sucker you are? You should have taken my two week offer, and I hope you really feel miserable. The other guy really loves me (oh, I only forgot to mention that I "love him" too) and I am texting you just to let you know that I am fucking this another guy, and I just want to make sure that you know about it...
So I started chasing even more, forgetting about the very reasons why I left her.
But heres where I see I was wrong -I didn't start dating women right after our break up which caused me to feel inferior of other guys and scarcity mentality.
>>>> But this is really a great lesson to learn. You are not dating because you are hurt, you have broken heart and feel miserable about yourself - yet she is already fucking another guy for weeks, and even calling you to let you know...
I started thinking of all the good times and emotions we had together, but not remembering the bad ones. So as for those reading may already know, I dug myself a hole and it wasn't a pretty experience.
She finally agreed to a meet up 4 weeks into her new relationship (which was yesterday). But didn't contact me back on the day of the meet up. I didn't text her either. This is where I got pissed and angry, not at her, at myself. I depreciated myself, spit at my self, punched myself in the face and the chest, and just wishing I never existed. ( hope I'm not emotionally draining any of you folks out there)
>>>> Oh no, she would really do that to you? Promise you that she will meet you up and don't show up? Make you feel even more miserable, more pissed and angry? Make you wish that you never existed?
But now I'm over her. I'm done with doing a total 180 on myself. I went from breaking up with her and resenting her to chasing her as if my life depended on it. It wasn't a pretty experience. Just goes to show how emotions can really intefere with your welbeing, if you let it!
>>>> If you don't mind I would strongly disagree. This was one of the best experiences in your life, next time you'll know and will be more careful.
That brings us up to date.
My question for you folks out there is, if your in a relationship with a girl of older age (26+). Does that mean she's looking for a guy that's less of an asshole compared to a young girl in her early 20s? in other words, do women look for nicer guys as they get older, or is that just plain wrong. Cause I'm kind of thinking from my experience with an older woman, that too much of an asshole could actually steer them looking for a nicer prospect.
>>>> Yes. Generally as girls get older, closer or over 30's, she start looking for nice and stable guy who can provide and take care of her. She wants to have family. Once she gets even closer to 40's she becomes desperate. Which of course doesn't mean that she can't still go out and "have fun" with assholes, while her hubby sits home and takes care of kids (that many times are not even his)...
You were actually extremely lucky that she turned that way only after one week living with you. Many guys suffer because they discover the true face slowly, only after they settle down and have kids with her, marry her...
Thank you all for your time, I will start approaching girls soon, now that I fought my way out of depression and finally nexted this girl.
This post was primarily written to introduce myself and my current situation. hope to hear from you guys!
-------------------------------------------
Hows it going guys! This is my first post and am excited to be a part of the community. Looking forward to getting to know everyone, ideally in a way where I could contribute to the forum and peoples success
A little bit about myself.
I come from a part of the Middle East that's seen so much bloodshed and chaos ever since (arguably) the beginning of time. We're considered the biggest ethnic group in the world (approx 40 million) without a country to call our own. Although we still reside in our original regions, we are being occupied and oppressed by 4 countries. Imagine being a people that has your own language, your own culture and your own traditions but till this day in age, still being oppressed. My friends, our homeland is called Kurdistan and we don't let no one tell us any different. But Enough about history/politics. Lets get to the nit and gritty of the topic.
I arrived in Canada in 2009, 19 years of age. Started hitting the clubs, and wasn't making the kind of success I hoped for. It wasn't till I found Girls Chase in 2013, that I checked a few of his articles and liked how genuine the material was. I than bought his mastery package. Then started approaching girls, went on a couple of dates. Than changed my job place and literally was working with one of the cutest girls there. It was my first day at the job. We started talking and starring at each other every time we had to pass by. All I knew was, I had to move fast with this one. So I asked her to come to my place for dinner the next week. I could see she was shocked! Cause she was not expecting me to ask her out so soon. Needless to say she complied and agreed for the date. Keep in mind she's two years older and this was my second girl I approached ever since discovering GC.
Everything was awesome and dandy, but I slipped.
Not with the girl, I was actually following through with my fundamentals, always being a challenge, making her chase me harder and harder to the point I knew she wasn't going to steer elsewhere for her sexual/emotional needs.
Than... we started seeing each other more and more, that it eventually became almost every other day.
In a couple of weeks we were sucked into a long term monogamous relationship. -(Thats where I slipped)
She loved it and couldn't wait to introduce me to her daughter, parents and friends. But I knew deep down it wasn't what I initially wanted.
>>>> Yes, she couldn't wait to introduce a PROVIDER to her family: Look, this guy is really great, he will take care of me and my child. He will pay for me and for my child too.
I wanted to improve my lifestyle, my fundamentals and my outlook on life. I wanted to go against the grain of conventional dating.
Fast forward to our 1st year anniversary, and she started balling her eyes out. She was upset that I still didn't want to move in with her. Hence our relationship was not making any progress. She eventually started cursing at herself, at how bad of a person she must be, that I don't want to finally move in with her.
I finally said that i would. I just couldn't take it, she cried so much, made me so emotional, due to the fact that I've invested so much time and feelings in her. It was too much to bear. I couldn't just leave her there and than. So I agreed to move in to her place.
>>>> Pure manipulation from her side and you caved in. She made you emotional, it was a trap. She was saying: Look, I am poor girl and I need help from strong guy, I'm crying because you don't really want me, I must be bad person because you don't want me. She wanted to make you feel sorry for her, put some guilt on you, make you feel really bad for her - so you can finally move in with her. And you did.
I figured why not try it. Things were awesome the first week, always had food on the table and things of the like. Than after that she would always complain about things and stress me out so much that I just wanted to go to the balcony for some fresh air. I was going through a phase of depression while I was living with her. Forgot to mention that she liked to go clubbing atleast once a month, which I didn't like about her, along with many other things I started to find out.
>>>> Exactly. The first week she was saying: Look how great I am, I will cook for you, you did really the right thing to move in. Second week comes and now she is saying: Look, you are living here with me and it is time for your to learn something about me: From now on I am the one in charge, I am the one who is going to bitch and complain, and all the things here will go the way I want. If you don't do exactly what I want I will make your life miserable. Oh, by the way, I will go clubbing at least once a month - while you will stay home and taking care of my child. You better start learning quickly boy, by this time you should already know how to cook for us, clean, wash dishes and fold clothes... There are other things you have to learn boy, and you will find out much more about the true me in the future!
I finally left her after a month of living with her. And it wasn't pretty, but I told her that I would still be there for her as a friend. Needless to say, I was a free man.
>>>> Great job! Not only your are free man, you are The Man because you left her! But she is of course pissed that you left her. Watch, revenge will come!
Then I hit an economical crisis with my job and all the debt I was in, with school, and the government, I was more concerned with getting my financial issues in order that I didn't try approaching girls or anything of the like. I was more fixated on working extra hours.
Eventually my ex called and I could feel she wanted to hang out. So I invited her over. We had sex, and she left. We continued this a few other times while i was not seeing anyone else and I was fine with it. What I didn't know was she was actually trying to see if there's any hope in getting back together again.
>>>> Yes, she was trying to see if you can come back and live with her again. This time she would be nice to you for two weeks. Simply, it was just another trap, the sex was trap to get you back... And you don't want to come back, so revenge is on its way...
Eventually someone at her workplace (she's a bartender now) referred her to an older guy, 3 years older than her, and he apparently had a good reputation. It seems like someone told her he's single and interested in her and gave her the number.
>>>> Yes, he's got a great reputation as a PROVIDER. He is reliable, honest, carrying, has many good friends and makes good money. He likes children too, and she already has a child. Why wouldn't she want someone like him? She is not stupid.
She than texted me asking where we stand in our relationship. Saying she loves me but if I only want her for sex I should let her know.
>>>> Ok boy, she is saying, here is your last chance to come back and live with me again. Those two nice weeks are still on the table, if you don't take it there is this another great guy who really wants me... Take it or those great two weeks before he starts learning my lessons will be his...
I didn't answer her text cause i was busy mentally, I actually forgot about it all together. After a few days she texted me again, and I replied. She said she's starting to see someone and that we could stay friends. I knew it was time to let her go, I said "sure friends sounds good".
That's when scarcity mentality kicked in. I felt like I was letting go of the love of my life.
>>>> I disagree. She was love of your (short) life, but you weren't love of her life. If she truly loved you she would respect you, and she would never make you feel miserable as you described above...
Things just started to seem fuzzy, and I couldn't understand it. After 3 weeks, she texted me to see how I was doing, and we kept texting back and forth (By the way, I still haven't started approaching other women still). Than (thinking she probably broke up with the guy, and wanted to still get back with me) I invited her for a drink. She texted back telling me that "what ever happened between us happened" and that she's moved on with this guy and he loves her dearly.
>>>> Now she is saying: Read my lips boy, the revenge is here. See what kind of sucker you are? You should have taken my two week offer, and I hope you really feel miserable. The other guy really loves me (oh, I only forgot to mention that I "love him" too) and I am texting you just to let you know that I am fucking this another guy, and I just want to make sure that you know about it...
So I started chasing even more, forgetting about the very reasons why I left her.
But heres where I see I was wrong -I didn't start dating women right after our break up which caused me to feel inferior of other guys and scarcity mentality.
>>>> But this is really a great lesson to learn. You are not dating because you are hurt, you have broken heart and feel miserable about yourself - yet she is already fucking another guy for weeks, and even calling you to let you know...
I started thinking of all the good times and emotions we had together, but not remembering the bad ones. So as for those reading may already know, I dug myself a hole and it wasn't a pretty experience.
She finally agreed to a meet up 4 weeks into her new relationship (which was yesterday). But didn't contact me back on the day of the meet up. I didn't text her either. This is where I got pissed and angry, not at her, at myself. I depreciated myself, spit at my self, punched myself in the face and the chest, and just wishing I never existed. ( hope I'm not emotionally draining any of you folks out there)
>>>> Oh no, she would really do that to you? Promise you that she will meet you up and don't show up? Make you feel even more miserable, more pissed and angry? Make you wish that you never existed?
But now I'm over her. I'm done with doing a total 180 on myself. I went from breaking up with her and resenting her to chasing her as if my life depended on it. It wasn't a pretty experience. Just goes to show how emotions can really intefere with your welbeing, if you let it!
>>>> If you don't mind I would strongly disagree. This was one of the best experiences in your life, next time you'll know and will be more careful.
That brings us up to date.
My question for you folks out there is, if your in a relationship with a girl of older age (26+). Does that mean she's looking for a guy that's less of an asshole compared to a young girl in her early 20s? in other words, do women look for nicer guys as they get older, or is that just plain wrong. Cause I'm kind of thinking from my experience with an older woman, that too much of an asshole could actually steer them looking for a nicer prospect.
>>>> Yes. Generally as girls get older, closer or over 30's, she start looking for nice and stable guy who can provide and take care of her. She wants to have family. Once she gets even closer to 40's she becomes desperate. Which of course doesn't mean that she can't still go out and "have fun" with assholes, while her hubby sits home and takes care of kids (that many times are not even his)...
You were actually extremely lucky that she turned that way only after one week living with you. Many guys suffer because they discover the true face slowly, only after they settle down and have kids with her, marry her...
Thank you all for your time, I will start approaching girls soon, now that I fought my way out of depression and finally nexted this girl.
This post was primarily written to introduce myself and my current situation. hope to hear from you guys!
